'Hey, Lapis are you okay?' It was an often asked question, but there was a reason for it. There were times where even Peridot wasn't sure what Lapis was thinking. It was difficult to tell if Lapis was quiet because she was relaxed, or because she was drowning in her own thoughts and was too disassociated to speak to anyone around her. It was all a guessing game. After all, gems and humans are too complicated to pin just certain traits to a certain attitude. Especially with Lapis, who was usually a closed book to most other gems and people.

So the questions 'Hey, Lapis are you okay?' became a question that would fill in the uncomfortable silences where Peridot wasn't sure if Lapis was okay. Lapis was, more often than not, fine. Peridot knew that it was rare that Lapis was upset enough to tell Peridot or anyone else, but it was still nice to know that Lapis wasn't angry.

And when Peridot asked this time the too often asked question, she was expecting the same response.

"I'm fine, ya dork."

"Just a little tired."

"Mhm."

"It's all good."

"A-Okay."

But it was none of those answers. Lapis had been quiet the entire day, and Peridot was a little more than concerned. Lapis often clammed up when she was thinking about her past, something that even Peridot didn't know much about. She was often quiet when she was happy, too.

The silence after the question dragged on for too long for Lapis to just be thinking of a witty reply. The silence was too heavy for Lapis to just be joking. The silence was terrifying for both of them. The barn was full of silence, while the rest of the world seemed to hold its breath, waiting for Lapis to break the suffocating quiet.

"Actually, I'm really," she sounded fine, but her voice cracked. She sounded like she was crying, "I'm really not okay, I think."

Peridot looked across the barn. Lapis was sitting on the edge of the barn's roof, just barely in sight where Peridot was lying on the couch.

The entire world seemed to fall into this empty silence.

"Lapis?" there was no echo, no sound that would break this horrible feeling that draped over them. For a moment they were the only living creatures on this world, the only things that could break the quiet, and for a moment they were completely alone.

"I've been thinking a lot," Lapis reached one hand up and dragged her hand through her hair. She seemed stressed. "I've been thinking how long it's been. How long have I existed? Six and a half thousand years."

Peridot got off the couch.

"Don't do anything you might regret, Lapis." it was a desperate whisper. Please don't do anything you might regret.

"Six and a half thousand years, and how long have I been free? Three hundred years?" Lapis's hand stopped on her head and she grabbed fist fulls of her own hair. "I've been trapped for thousands of years. I've missed so much. How many gems died while I was just safe and sound in that mirror? And I felt like I was trapped. If I wasn't in that gem I would have been shattered. And I still think I have the right to complain? What's wrong with me? What's wrong with me?" Lapis's voice started to pick up pace and her thoughts were spilling, and it was so obvious how much she had been hurting. Peridot should have been there for her.

"Lapis?" Peridot called.

"Why am I so selfish? Why am I not glad that I was trapped instead of being crushed-"

"Lapis I need you to come down here, or help me get up there." There was a note of worry and authority in Peridot's voice. "Please." She added.

Lapis looked down through the hole in the roof. Peridot was standing beneath the hole, looking up at her, with tiny tears in the corner of her eyes that reflected the night sky. In one graceful move, Lapis jumped off of the barn roof, looped around, flew in through the hole, pick up Peridot, and gently set her down on the barn roof.

"Thanks."

"No problem." Lapis sounded exhausted.

"So what did you want to talk about?" Peridot leaned back, not quiet lying down. The starry night was beautiful, tiny pin prick stars freckling the polished blues and purples. From time to time, another star would appear, or flare up.

"I don't even know... I've spent so much time on Homeworld. Here. And everywhere I go, I just feel like I'm stuck. Like if I wanted to leave, I can't."

"But do you want to leave? Do you want to leave Earth?" Peridot asked. Lapis stared off at the distant stars.

"I don't know. I've spent so much time here."

"So do you want to go to Homeworld?"

"No."

"A colony?"

"No. I just want...to leave."

There was a silence as the two of them stared at space.

"You could...leave. If you really wanted to. You could fly away, away from Earth and Homeworld and all of it's colonies."

"But I don't want that either."

Peridot was starting to get confused.

"Why not?"

"I don't want to be alone. It's like I'm stuck between leaving everything and everyone behind and just flying to feel free, and being trapped here, but having friends with me."

Peridot didn't know hot to help.

"Here."

Gently, slowly, Peridot reached out and hugged her.

"Lapis, I know you're not okay. I' not sure what you're talking about, but I know that you're sad. I don't know how to help, but if it helps, I'm here and I'll try to make sure that you feel happy."

Lapis looked down at Peridot, who's face was buried in Lapis's arm, and her arms wrapped around Lapis's body.

"Heh. Yeah. I've got you."

Peridot smiled.

"Dork." Lapis added.

Peridot's smile grew.