Spinel slumped to the floor in a pile of her own body parts, her head burned with confusion and joy and fear and rage all at once.

She couldn't understand what Steven meant and it hurt. In an incredibly strange way. Her hands slowly reached up to her head and she began twisting her fingers into her hair, pulling them taught until she could feel the fibers pull at her scalp.

Nothing made sense, she needed to make sense but nothing did.
Nothing was working.

She loosened her grip and began pulling individual hairs, while her other hands dug into her stomach trying to relieve the churning anxiety she felt.

"Gah!" She gasped, letting go of her hair and diving head first into the floor. She shoved her head forward until she lay nearly flat before turning to look around the pink room, making sure no apparition stood before her.
Her tears pooled around her where her cheeks met the floor, and she let out a small huff of frustration before turning over on her back.

"I don't get it?!" She shrieked, slamming her fists as she kicked the ground in her small tantrum. She bit her lip and let out a muffled scream.
Her gem felt as though it burned inside her, and her head pounded and her body ached and she just wanted to understand what he meant.
Not friends? Not friends?!

Then what were they supposed to be? What did he want from her? If she wasn't good enough to be his friend or even his best friend then what did he want? Really?

She calmed herself for a moment, blinking her eyes open to contemplate his actions. Trying to fuse didn't help- it didn't explain anything, was that what he wanted? To fuse?
What was the point?

She screamed again, throwing her hands over her face while she squirmed on the ground pushing herself further into the room.

"What did I do?!" She cried, lifting her hands to stare at them. "What am I supposed to be?"

He was being dumb. Yes, really really dumb, making her think she was his friend when she wasn't, when she was something entirely different.
But she's supposed to be a friend, she can't not be. It's not supposed to be like this.

"I need to break something!" She shrieked, a pink glass vase popped into existence above her, startling the gem from her tantrum. She reach up and plucked it from the air, promptly flinging it to the ground and watching it shatter into little pieces on the ground. It made her feel better, somewhat.

Spinel sat up, looking around before pulling herself to her knees.

"I want another." She said, softer this time. Another pink vase popped into existence in front of her and she grabbed it again, slamming it into the ground, the crash and scatter of glass brought a small smile to her face, slowly distracting her thoughts from Steven. Steven.
The gem frowned, tears returning to her eyes and rage began to return.

"I want to break him!" She shouted, a glass replica of Steven popped in front of her, with his disgustingly gentle smile and his horrendously calming eyes. She fumed, wrapping her arms around the copy and squeezing it tightly until it shatter in her hold.

"You're stupid! You don't make any sense! First you say I'm your friend, you say I'm good enough and you leave me-" she growled as another glass Steven appeared before her.

"Then you say that you're sorry and you fuse with me!" She puffed her hands to three times their size and slapped them together, destroying the glass replica. Another new one followed shortly after.

"And then you feel bad and try to get me to forgive you! But you make me talk to Blue! And you take me to the garden and you- you" her guttural complaints turned into a roar as she hurdled the replica into the air letting it crash some distance away.
Spinel moved to her feet, prepared to destroy another glass Steven.

"Am I just not good enough?! I am! Aren't I? You keep saying- keep telling me I'm good and you want me but you dont even want to be friends!" She whipped around, slamming her fist into the glass replica that popped up behind her.
It wasn't Steven though.
Spinel stared down at the pink shards of glass that made up her face. Her eyes grew wild with rage at the sight.

"Not good enough!" She cried, slamming her fist into the left over shards, breaking them further.

"I'm just bad! I'm bad and everyone knows it!" She hit the shards again, and again, and again. Until they were nothing but tiny glass peices littering the floor. Spinel's tears burned her eyes, her whole body burned. Everything hurt and she wanted it to stop, desperately.

"I'm supposed to be your friend.." she mumbled, dropping to her knees, she held her arms shaking as her confusion and pain and grief overwhelmed her. She leaned down, dropping her head to the floor a forced smile on her face as she sniffled and wept.

"You want more.." she giggled through her tears, slowly stilling herself in the torrent of her emotions. She drew in a ragged breath.

"What's more?"