81 days until Judgement Day.

Steven awoke again with a start from the same nightmare as before. He sighed as he looked at the box of dead shards on his bedside table and sighed. It was still late at night, or rather early morning at 5:30 am, clear as day on a digital clock by his bed.

He got up, washing his face, his eyes sunken and tired as he looked in the mirror, trying to figure out what to do about his decaying mental health. White butterflies gathered around him as he starred at his reflection, seeing Pink Diamond in the mirror. He leapt back in shock and fear only to see it had returned to normal.

"You're losing it Steven," Steven muttered to himself. "You're losing it..."

Steven took a deep breath and went back to his room, starring at the box of shards on his bed side table.

And...

He broke.

He just broke.

He began to scream and cry as his mind shattered just like Centipeedle. He began to wail, overwhelmed, glowing pink. Everything simpily came crashing down.

And then...

He stopped.

"No more..." Steven muttered to himself, "No more happiness. No more sadness. Just... numb. Numb. I feel so numb."

Steven took a deep breath and looked at his ceiling, "What's the point of this? What am I doing anymore?"

Steven needed to clear his head, so he walked outside, looked up at the clouded sky above, full of grey rolling storm clouds. He then exploded with pink energy, making a crater in the sand.

Steven layed there for a few moments before a voice asked him with concern, "You OK bro?"

Steven looked up to see Spinel looking down at him.

"You wouldn't understand," Steven sighed.

"I've been inside your heard," Spinel replied with a reassuring smile, "I'm sure I can."

"I don't know how to put it into words," Steven sighed, "What are you even doing up at this hour?"

"Sadie wanted to grab breakfast," Spinel replied, "But I wanna make sure you're OK first."

Steven sighed, "I don't want to hurt you."

Spinel extended her hand, "We've fused before and it was fine, enjoyable even. I don't see why that would suddenly change."

Steven extended his hand, standing up, Spinel took it and the two fused into Chrysoprase...

Spinel opened in eyed in Steven's mind. The sky was black as coal, and reeked of rotting flesh. A red fluid formed a thin veil over the ground beneath her feet, hiding whatever was under it. Spinel only saw one thing in this empty space, someone with white hair, hunched over, crying, curled up into a ball.

"Steven?" Spinel asked, reaching out to the being, only for it to turn, screeching in a feral, ungodly voice as it turned, revealing it to be Centipeedle, crying blood with her Gem/eye cracked.

"You let me diiiiie!" Centipeedle screeched.

Various gem shard monstrosities emerged from the sea of red, which Spinel examined, and realized, "It's... blood?"

One of the monstrosities, the one Steven fought at the hospital with Connie when he had his bipolar depression diagnosed, charged Spinel and grabbed her by the throat as the blood cleared to reveal the floor was made of flesh with many eyes and mouths. Spinel struggled and screamed to no avail before being dropped into one of these mouths and falling into a black abyss, before gravity reversed and she fell backwards, landing on her back hard.

"Ow..." she muttered.

Spinel was now on the beach of Ocean Town, next to Steven's old abandoned house where Jasper sat, looking at the sea faced away from Spinel.

"Yo hey Jasper," Spinel exclaimed eagerly, "Thank goodness you're here I'm really freaked out so it's good to see some family!"

Jasper turned around, crying in a half corrupted state, the corruption spreading as she spoke, "I did this for you Steven... I did this because you were weak... to weak... to... protect me..."

Jasper became corrupted and roared, lunging Spinel and tackling her, sending her into the house which lead deeper into the pitch black depths as she fell.

Spinel got up to see Steven, crying over the broken tape.

"Steven?" Spinel asked, slowly approaching him in a black void, "Are you OK?"

Spinel gently reached out to him only to be grabbed by the throat, Steven's left arm corrupted as he wept, "I lied too... I'm... no... better..."

Spinel was then tossed backwards and fell once more onto the depths of Steven's mind.

Spinel watched as a younger Steven, in his earlier teens approached Jasper, in the Strawberry Field.

Song: Growing up Steven

Based (Loosely) On: My R (Hikaru Station)

Author's Note: My R contains mention of suicide so trigger warning to any who are tempted to seek the song out.

Steven sang to himself as he approached, "I knew that I needed the truth.
Since that day I knew what I had to do.
So with fear misguided from my upbringing.
I hide the fact that my voice did shake.

And requested, 'Tell me the truth please'.
For a second I pondered what I had said.
For a second I felt as good as dead.
Even if Lion would protect me.

But Jasper spoke to me anyways."

Jasper sang, "Rose was evil and killed thousands.
That's all you really need to know.
But know that I don't hate you and you can know that much is true."

Steven sang, "OK so she doesn't hate me great.
But we were lying to each other all the same.
I hid stuff from her and her from me.
This is how it's always been for me."

The scene changed to Steven standing over the broken tape with tears streaming down his face as he continued, "I just wanted to not have to hide the tape!
To have a support system in my family!
But my whole life has always been people lying!
Even when I was still basically a baby!"

The world morphed to Lapis telling a very young Steven in song who had just witnessed the shattering of Centipeedle, "You have to lie about your Gem."

Steven sang, "I dunno maybe that's where it went wrong."

Steven continued, the scene now of Beach City as he walked down the side of the beach, "From there all of the lies only grew.
Peridot and I lied about the Cluster too.

Blue Diamond, Stevonnie, and Amethyst.
These are all things I also hid.
And over time as they atoned.
I'm the one who's lying grows.

All of them made amends with me.
All those who lied to me I forgive.
But I'm the one who can't atone.
Lemme tell you about my verbal sticks and stones."

The scene changed, flashing through every time someone lied to Steven, Steven lied to someone else, or someone asked Steven to lie thought the series until it ended on Steven wearing Pink Diamond's outfit as White Diamond appeared and sang in synch with Steven, "I'm/You're not any better than Pink.
I'm/You're a narcaccistic liar just like me/her.
All I/you do is lie until the end.
I/You am a monster like Pink Diamond."

Steven broke down crying as everything disappeared, singing the final verse, "So here I stand consumed by lies.
The evil bares on my broken mind.
I can't take much more of this.
But I have to lie about even this."

The song ended and the two unfused, Steven crying as Spinel reached out to him with compassion in her voice, "Bro..."

"You can't tell..." Steven pleaded, "Anyone... I... I'm not gonna be like her... I'm... I'm better than her. I'm OK! See!"

Steven, through his tears forced a very pained smile. Spinel hugged Steven, wrapping her arms around him multiple times, "You're not OK. That's OK. I won't tell the Gems but you need help?"

"You're right..." Steven sighed, "I'll get help soon."

"OK," Spinel replied, "I gotta go. You should get some sleep."

"You're right," Steven sighed, "Cya sis."

"Cya bro," Spinel replied.

Steven went back inside. Spinel looked around and found Lion under the house napping.

"Lion..." she whispered, "Lion wake up."

Lion yanwed and glarred at her.

"I need a ride," Spinel explained.

Lion snarled in annoyance.

"Oh come on I'm not lying to Steven! I said I wouldn't tell the GEMS! Never said anything about organics. Come on! I'll get you some Lion Lickers and it's for his own good!"

Reluctantly, Lion complied, opened a portal as Spinel got on, and took Spinel to her destination...