Okay, I need a laugh. I'll try. Let's do this. SodaIsMyMiddleName, this one's for you.

Ruby takes Sapphire up onto a mountain top. "So, do you want to sing or whatever?"
"Eh, sure."
"Where do we go-?"

"AH! THE SUN IS BURNING ME! AH! MY EYES!" She grabs Sapphire and places her in front of her. "Well, that was unnecessary."
"SHUT UP!"

"What did we do? I think we made something entirely new."
"You mean a parody?"
"Grr...come on!" Ruby grabs Sapphire's arm and drags her down to a forest.

Sapphire looks around near a tree. Ruby grumbles. "Ah, I'm hungry. I need something to eat."
"And it wasn't quite me. And it wasn't quite you."

"Ooh...a butterfly."
"Hmm...not enough. I need something fatter."
"Why do you need to eat? Aren't you a gem?"
"I'm special! Alright!"

The butterfly leaves. "Wait! I'm not going to wander around on an empty stom-!"
"I think it was someone entirely new." "Oh! A frog!" Ruby picks it up. "Time to chow down! You get the-"

"Wait, what are we doing back on the mountain? And why is it nighttime all of a sudden?" Ruby checks around for the frog. "Dammit! Dinner is gone!" "Ruby, calm down."

"I want something to EAT!" Ruby looks around. "Oh, um, well, I just can't stop thinking."
"So, um-"
"Don't mock me!"

"Did you say I was different?"
"Yes. And you hadn't before?"
"Of course not. When would I ever?"
"I'm so sorry."
"Well you should be."

"I stopped that from happening by the way."
"Oh you-!"
"Don't you dare!"
"Well, now you're here forever...and I don't care."

"Why can't you care?"
"What do you mean?"
"Well, you're here, too. We're here together. Stuck in this hell."
"And our only escape is..."

Ruby gets up. "Sapphire, listen, fuse with me!
"No!" Ruby grabs Sapphire and forces her to dance. "We will break apart. Just you wait."

"No, we won't."
"What?"
"I'm going to chain you down. Kiss me."
"THIS IS-!" They fuse into cotton candy.

And then they lived um...happily forever after? No? Well, this is disturbing. I'm sorry. I made something worse than Malachite!