Here we go again. This one's for jeswriter5184.

Garnet talks to the Crystal Gems. "Last time we fused, Sugilite went nuts on Pearl. Because of her, Pearl now has AIDS." Garnet takes off her visor for a moment.

"I can be rash, you can be reckless. We can both get carried away. So, for the time being..." Garnet puts her visor back on. "Sugilite is in hell." She turns to Pearl.

"What we need now is to be careful and salty." Steven gasps. "It's you and me Pearl. Let's fuse." Pearl stares at Garnet with tears welling in her eyes. "Cry Pearl."

Pearl tries not to cry. She snorts and smiles. Garnet starts walking away and Pearl follows her. "Alright you salty pig. Let's get this over with."
"I'm right behind you."

Steven screams like a fangirl. "Woohoo! Fusion, fusion, fusion!" Garnet looks at Steven. "Steven, fusion isn't something to be a fan of. It's private, serious, and dangerous."

"Fusion, fusion, fusion!" Garnet turns back to Pearl and facepalms. "Oh Steven, you haven't learned anything." Garnet puts her hands up. "Ready." Pearl stretches out.

"Hang on. It's been such a long time." "And is there not a reason for that?" "Nope. Let's fuse."
"Pearl, you need to understand that this is very-"
"Fun!...and dangerous."

"Let's get this over with." They dance and well, they dance. They get closer to each other. Pearl inches up to Garnet. "Okay. I'm going to throw you up and-"

"Kiss me. It's for Pearlnet." Pearl kisses Garnet and they glow. The glow creates a curtain. The curtain is cut revealing a snotball of a gem.

"Goooooood evening everybody! This is the salty Sardonyx. Coming to you live from a screen on a children's cartoon show on the soon to be forgotten CN channel."

Sardonyx smiles. "How are you all doing tonight?" Amethyst stares at Sardonyx with boredom. "Great." Steven gasps. "Giant Woman!" Sardonyx puts her hands down to give Steven a lift.

"Oh my stars! You are so dead! If it isn't our self-centered Stets-I mean Steven Universe! We finally meet! So, what do you think?" She spins. "Was I worth the wait?"

"All fusions are worth the wait. But you are worth all the salt!" "Of course I was!" She laughs. "Wait, did you just say I was...salty?" Sardonyx glares at Steven.

"Uh..."
"Steven, you are grounded, showbiz style!" Sardonyx summons her hammer. She throws Steven into the air and slams her hammer down on him.

Steven slams down into the ground, face first. Sardonyx laughs as Amethyst rushes to grab Steven. "STEVEN! Man, and I thought Sugilite was bad." She grabs Steven and drags him back to Lion.

Steven wakes up and he groans. "Amethyst? What happened?"
"You were grounded, literally. Thank god you're okay. You were going to taste sand forever."

"What?"
"Trust me Steven, sand tastes like crap and it's very salty. Just like Pearl." She glares at Sardonyx who is cracking up a storm with jokes.

"I'm so excited to be here. I'm sorry. I haven't really been myself lately." She laughs again. "Screw Pearlmethyst! Pearlnet for life!" Amethyst growls. "That's it! This show is cancelled!"

Amethyst launches a whip from her gem at Sardonyx's legs. It snaps onto them, sending Sardonyx to the ground. Her hammer falls top of her head.

"Payback time." Pearl and Garnet unfuse and they lay facedown on the ground. Amethyst walks up to Pearl and kicks her in the head. "You nearly killed Steven! And what was that about Pearlmethyst?"

Amethyst folds her arms. "It's not like I...cared about you like that. I'm leaning more towards Gamethyst anyway." She walks away from them. "Look, just crack up another time, alright?"

She heads to the warp pad. "Steven, we're leaving. Come on." She picks up Steven and she carries him to the warp pad. "Pearlnet is dead." She gets on the warp pad. "I win." The warp pad glows and they take off.

Another unexpected twist ending. What was I thinking? Man, that's what I love above writing. You just never know what you're going to write until you do.