Warning(s): mentions of nightmares, pain, some angst, reader is recovering from being mind controlled

For the next few months everyone did everything they could to help you attain the normal life you had been living before the mind control incident.

You talked to Clint and Bucky who really understood what you were going through. You didn't need to fear  they'd think you were crazy. They fully understood you.

Bucky even showed you his journal that he had in his backpack after he started getting his memory back. He showed you the pages full of text, with different colours.

"I use different colours to express if the memory is real or fake," he said. "Like here, black means it has happened, blue means it definitely hasn't." He told you as he ran his finger over the pages.

"What does red mean?" You asked as you read the few sentences written in red.

Bucky took a deep breath before sighing, "Red means I'm not sure." He explained and closed the journal. "Do you think doing something like this could help you?" He asked.

You ran your knuckles over the leather cover of the journal as you thought about it. Finally you nodded and looked up at him, "I guess."

He'd also offer you some plums every once in a while.

Bruce checked on you every once in a while just to make sure you really were alright. He ran some tests, always asked how much you had slept, how much you had eaten and so on. He and the rest of the team just wanted to make sure you were okay.

Vision would always tell you other ways to deal with this temporary memory loss. He'd list so many things that might help that it would take so long you fell asleep sometimes. He was very wise, came with being omnipotent but sometimes you felt like he was one of those grandfathers who just went on and on about same old stories.

On some nights, when Wanda could hear you scream, she'd go to the door of yours and Steve's bedroom. She would open the door only slightly so she wouldn't be noticed. After you stopped sobbing in Steve's arms, calmed down and closed your eyes, she would use her powers to make you forget about the nightmares by changing them into pleasant memories or dreams without you knowing.

Pietro and Thor tried their best to make you laugh or smile even the slightest. They would sometimes just drag you out of your bedroom and sit you down in the common room and try to entertain you in every possible way. It took a while until they managed break a smile on your face. When they did, they did not stop.

Sam and Scott would also crack jokes whenever you were around. You were the first person, other than the two themselves, to know what happened when they had their first encounter. It took them few weeks to tell it to you. They decided to save it for last. When they finally did tell you the story, you laughed so hard you fell off a chair. Sam and Scott couldn't have been more proud. Sam still felt slightly embarrassed, knowing you had heard the story of his and Scott's first encounter.

Sometimes Tony would just ask you to go to the lab even when he and Bruce were busy with work. He just wanted to keep an eye on you and keep you company the best he could. You were worried you might have distracted him from doing work when he would start talking to you in the middle of a project.

He never asked you to leave, sometimes he would keep you in the lab until the late hours of the night. He would sometimes go and suggest he would sit some missions out just so he could keep you company. Of course you would the tell him he could not dismiss a mission just for you. You'd force him to go.

Sometimes Rhodey would visit Tony in the lab and you'd have the time to catch up with him. You didn't talk to him much but he was usually around when Tony planned a party and invited people over. Rhodey was fun to hang around with. He'd tell you his famous War Machine stories that you may or may not have heard more than once.

Natasha... Well, being like a big sister to you, she always found time to be there for you, she would schedule her training so she could spend time with you and talk to you. She'd even take you out to shopping or to go to eat like she said "that's what big sisters do". Wanda tagged along sometimes. It was some time for you girls to spend time together, talk about things women usually do.

Then there was Steve...

Steve was always there for you, he was always around. He was there to listen to you talk to Clint and Bucky about what happened and how you felt about it. He'd make sure you wrote down every memory that crossed your mind, he was there to hand you the exact coloured pen which expressed the realness of the memory.

He was there for you when you went to get checked up like Bruce asked you to. He held your hand, played with your hair to calm you down when you felt uneasy. Needles were now very hard for you to bear. After all, that's how it all really started.

He was the one who held you after you had nightmares about being tied down to a chair, people in lab coats surrounding you and all that pain.

Oh, God, the pain. It was unbearable. The feeling, the pure pain of knowing what they were doing to your memories, to your brain. The fear you felt, thinking you might never get your memories back.

So he held you, whispered in your ear, told you everything was going to be alright and that you had no reason to worry because he was there with you. He promised he always would.

Although he would never admit it, he'd sometimes ask Vision to give you information about the things you could do to help what you were going through just to make you fall asleep. Once he finally found a way to make you fall asleep, since you refused to because of the nightmares, he would make sure Vision would help you fall asleep whenever you had some trouble doing so yourself. Sometimes Steve would sit through it himself.

And whenever you fell back to sleep, he would still hold you in his arms, cradling your head to his chest protectively. He would glance at the door that was slightly open, he would look at Wanda, send her a smile and mouth "Thank you." Before she left.

He was there when Pietro and Thor were trying to make you laugh. He would follow you to the living room when you were dragged there, he'd sit on the couch with you on his lap, he'd have his hand on your thigh and squeeze it gently if he sensed you were a little tense. It always calmed you down.

Thor and Pietro would show you funny videos, or do some skits that they practiced for a few days (that they made you and Steve promise never to mention to anyone. Ever.) and perform it in front of you. It took you a while but finally you smiled, nobody had waited for that more than Steve had. When he noticed the smile that was on your lips, he couldn't, and didn't even try, prevent the corners of his lips flickering upwards.

Often, he was there when it was Sam and Scott's turn to try and cheer you up but when they told you about the very first time when they met, he was not. Sam also made you swore you'd never tell Steve. "It's really important to me that Cap never finds out about this." He said exactly.

He thought the way you looked when you smiled was the most beautiful sight one could wish to see. Whenever you smiled, his whole life lightened up, seeing you smile was enough to light up the whole world, and although your smile was only a small one, it was still progress and Steve was happy about that. He was still hopeful. He hoped he'd see your full, genuine smile soon and he did. After a while you even laughed a bit.

When it came to you hanging out with Tony, Steve had a tablet that showed the security camera of the lab. Tony had given it to him. Steve knew he couldn't be by your side every second of the day but he still wanted to know how you were doing. Sometimes he'd have to come and take you back to your room because you got so caught up with Tony. And sometimes he'd come save you from hearing an old War Machine story for what felt like the hundredth time.

Natasha texted Steve every hour when you were out enjoying some time with the girls. Steve didn't even have to ask her, she wanted him to know how you were doing. She knew he cared for you deeply and understood why he wanted to keep track of you.

He was the one who stuck with you, changed his schedules just so he could be there with you through everything. He loved you so much. He needed to know you were alright.

Although at times it felt like they were treating you like a child, never letting you out of their sight, you appreciated their concern. You knew they just wanted to make sure you were okay.

Thanks to them, you recovered very quickly. After only few weeks you were almost back to normal. There were still times when you'd be reminded of what HYDRA did to you and you'd have mild panic attacks.

After about a month from the incident, your panic attacks had disappeared and you had started training again. Soon you were sent on easy missions with at least one teammate. Then after a while you were allowed to go on solo missions.

You were progressing very well and everyone made sure to mention it to you. They were all very proud of you.

Few months later you got that date with Steve that was supposed to happen the day you were captured by HYDRA. You had a great time. The night sky was full of stars, you drank a little wine, laughed together. At that moment it seemed like nothing bad had ever happened to you. Everything was perfect and just when you thought the night couldn't get any better, Steve stood up from his seat and reached his hand into the inside pocket of his suit jacket as you were about to take another sip of your drink . You slowly placed the wine glass down on the table and raised a brow at your boyfriend.

He had a nervous smile on his face and he took one of your hands in his and kissed your knuckles. "I love you, Y/N," he said and you couldn't help but smile. "Before I met you, I was a bit lost. I had just come out of ice and I had a hard time attaining to the modern lifestyle," he started and ran his thumb across your knuckles. "I had no family or friends but then I met you and the rest of the team. I finally had people around me who cared for me and who I cared about as well." He paused to take a breath. "I knew from the very first time I met you, that we would get along great. You were so kind and welcoming. You even offered to help me learning how to use all these electronics."

"You've progressed well." You pointed out as you took another sip of the wine.

"Shush, I'm making a speech." Steve scolded you which caused you to giggle. "I'm very grateful for all you've done to me like all those times you came with me when I went to visit Peggy." He said sadly. "I talked about you to Peggy a lot. I don't think I ever told you that." He said and you shook your head. "I didn't even realise how much I talked about you until she pointed it out." He chuckled.

"During one of those times that I visited her, I realised that I loved you. We had just talked about you and then you came knocking on the door, you opened it and told me that we should head back home. I saw you at the door, you greeted Peggy and asked her how she was doing. You smiled so warmly and told me you were going to the car. Peggy asked me if you had waited outside the whole time and I said yes. She told me you must really love me if you'd wait for me outside of the room while I visited her. That's when I realised how much you really cared for me and how much I appreciated all your support. I also realised that I wouldn't be the same man without you and that thought terrified me. You've had a huge impact on my life. I can't pictured my life without you and I hope to God I'll never have to live without you."

Steve breathed in deeply and stood up from his seat. He circled the table to you and got down on one knee. Your eyes widened and your hand found it's way over your mouth. Your heart started to pound in your chest so hard you wouldn't have been surprised if he actually heard it.

Steve tried to hide the smile that was caused by your reaction. He took out the box from his pocket. The exact same pocket you had found in his sock drawer all those months ago. He was going to do it now. He was going to propose.

"Y/N," He started. "Will-"

"Yes." You breathed out.

"You didn't let me finish." Steve chuckled. "Will you-"

"Yes." You said again.

"Will you marry me?" He finally finished his question and opened the box. Your eyes grew even wider as you saw the diamond ring. It was as beautiful as you had dreamed, if not more beautiful.

You nodded, trying to blink away the tears in your eyes as you handed your left hand to him.

Steve took out the ring and put it gently on your ring finger. He stood up and so did you. You threw your arms around him and let the tears fall.

You were right back where you had left off and you had never felt happier.