(Listen to Shallow covered by: Fleurie/Tommee Profitt while you read this one. I didn't think anyone could do this song any better than the beautiful classic original, but when I heard it for the first time, I was shocked. The emotion, the angst and depth while being so soft and delicate. It's amazing and I think it really fits the essence I tried to create in this one.)

The clouds seemed darker, as they hovered above Steve Rogers, as he strolled down the gravel path. The sky was a rich blue, one that made him believe a storm was soon to be rolling in. Like a stormy sea, revealing rich sapphires beneath it's crashing waves. And the clouds, some still white and puffy compared to those that had turned into a smoke like resemblance, lined the sky. And it was as though they were lying in wait, for the perfect moment to release their rage. The wind that wrapped around Steve, blowing through his messy blonde locks and ruffling the edges of his navy jacket, felt like something was looming in the atmosphere. The way the wind felt nipping against his flesh, with a chill that made his spine tingle, and yet the air itself was thick with warmth and humidity. The temperatures mixing together, brewing unease and imminent rain. The sky above Steve Rogers seemed angry... and he knew the reason why.

Her figure leaned against one of the tall wooden beams, overlooking the vast lake, however Steve wasn't sure if it was to keep her steady on her feet or simply a preferred position. Her arms wrapped around her body as though she was strapped in an invisible straight jacket, and even with the feet in which Steve stood away from her, he could see the way she gripped onto her arms. The pressure creasing her skin, and pulling it up into her grasp. Her knuckles visibly white as the intensity was sure to bring bruises to her flesh. Her feet were bare against the wood, and her long hair blew in soft tangles down her spine. Whipping around her, as though lashes of leather against any exposed skin it would possibly find. She looked lost... she looked alone... and it was for those reasons that he searched for her. 

"There looks to be a storm coming in soon," Steve's voice seemed thunderous in the open void between them, as though the vibrations were enough to send the trees shaking and the birds bolting out from the safe nests. His words were calm and introductory, as he wasn't looking to have a conversation about the impending weather, but rather to attain her attention cautiously and with a soft ease as not to frighten her. As his words hit her ears, he knew he had accomplished just that, for her head immediately snapped to the side and peered over her left shoulder towards him. But the sight of her face, sent Steve's heart spiraling into his stomach.  
The skin around her cheek bones burned a bright red hue, as though someone had lit a match and let it burn beneath her flesh. Her lips were parted as she breathed short and careful breaths, passing through the trembling, with heavy constrictions of her aching chest. But it was the sight of her eyes, that Steve felt like the tip of a knife in the middle of his heart. They were drowning in emotion; pain soaring through her irises as though the agony was a shade of blue. Her long lashes fluttered against her searing flesh like that of butterfly wings, rapid and soft, but they were heavy with the stain of salt. And the way her eyes looked to Steve, there was a pleading within the swirling sea of despair. Steve couldn't quite determine if she was pleading for him to leave her be, or if there was something more that he couldn't see. But the unknown didn't keep him from venturing forward, taking the last few steps, until his shoes hit the light wood she stood upon.

Steve stood still, as he shortened the space between the two of them to a few mere inches. But his eyes didn't stray away from her tear stained face, and neither did hers. Her body was tight, as though a ball of yarn that was knotted all around. And her expression looked drained as she stared into Steve's kind gaze. As though the soft breaths he could hear her inhaling, were too strenuous for her. And it wasn't until Steve watched another lone tear roll down her cheek, that he spoke up. 

"Are you okay?" He knew the answer far before he asked it, and yet it was the only thing he could bring himself to say. Steve Rogers could see the pain in every inch of the woman who stood close to him now, there was nothing she could do to conceal it from him. He knew she was the furthest thing from okay, as they all were right now, and yet he still inquired it gently. 

Her blue eyes that seemed to swirl like a whirlpool, threatening to suck Steve in the longer he gazed into them, shut tightly. Squeezing the tears brimming in the corners out, like twisting water from a rag. They flowed down her strained and swollen face with ease, and they looked painful. Her lips pressed together so hard that he could see the color change from the pressure. And as her head dropped, she turned away from him. Her silence was all he needed for a response. 

Her shoulders shook as her closed gaze faced downward towards the glittering water below her. The wind that whipped around them, made the waves move in a motion that made it look as though it was alive. And just as her mouth parted for a gasp between her silent sobs, a crack of thunder boomed through the sky above them. The sound feeling as though it rattled the wooden structure they stood within. 

"It should've been me." Her voice cracked and it nearly blew away in the wind. The fragileness in her tone made Steve think that she could shatter like a piece of glass at any moment. Fearing that the next snap of thunder would send her crumbling before him. 

Steve took a tentative step forward, as her right hand released it's grip upon her skin, and reached out to grasp the wooden beam beside her. Not caring about splinters as it slid against the surface, but rather requiring it for support. 

"What are you talking about?"

Her head shook, but Steve couldn't tell if her eyes were still shut tightly or if they had opened by now. "It should've been me Steve, it should've been me."

"What should--"

Her grip tightened against the wood, "I told her that she couldn't do it. That she was too important, that you all needed her too much to sacrifice herself like that. But she wouldn't listen."

Steve's chest sank listening to her words, as he released a heavy exhale. They stung with the impact of every syllable. The tone of her voice felt like two hands pulling his heart in opposite directions. 

"I told her it should me, that the world was going to need her when we got everyone back. That she would be far more missed than I ever could've been. But she wouldn't listen to me."

As Steve took another step forward, he could see now that her eyes were in fact open, and they gazed downward at the water with glazed over tears. It looked as though she was searching the water for some sort of answer or some soft of closure, but coming up empty as the waves crashed with the increasing gusts of wind. 

"I tried to fight her. I cried out to her. I tried to stop her..." Her sobs were audible now, and Steve took one last step until he was standing right behind her. Because the way she was looking to that water, as though it held the peace she desired, it made him uneasy. "but nothing I did could stop her from jumping."

As soon as Steve began to watch her hand slip and her body begin to sink towards the edge of the wood, he reached out. His palm sliding over her shoulder, and with a gentle tug, he pulled her into his chest. Wrapping his strong arms around her trembling body, as he felt the exhales of sobs against his torso. 

"It should've been me." She continued to cry into his flesh, and it made his heart hurt more with each time she said it. The grief of Natasha's death was heavy on Steve's heart, as there was a piece missing from it now. But he couldn't imagine being the person with her, forced to see her sacrifice herself, with the knowledge that they could've been the one to do so themselves. She blamed herself, and sometimes guilt is just as destructive as grief... possibly more. 

"You think that you aren't important in this world," Steve whispered against the blowing strands of her hair that tickled his cheek. "but you are."

"You believe that you wouldn't be missed if you had taken Nat's place, but you're wrong. You have a rightful place in this world, and she knew that. You have a reason for being here and you matter to those around you. It wasn't the weight of one life over another, because you can't compare two souls. You are just as worthy of life as she was. She made a choice, a choice that she believed in her heart had to be done, and done by her." 

Her head lifted and Steve peered down into the storm inside her tearful eyes. And it was in that moment, that Steve realized the pleading in her eyes, was for him. She was pleading for him to save her from herself. Pleading for him to save her, like she couldn't do for Natasha. "The world needed her, and I just let her die."

Steve furrowed his brows at her words, and as gently as he could, he grasped her chin his hand. The pads of his fingers warm and tender against her sensitive skin, and running his thumb against the edge of her jawbone, he whispered softly. "I need you."

Maybe Steve was right, maybe you couldn't compare souls when it really came down to it. Perhaps, at the end of our lives, there are no scoreboards, no tallies of all our rights and all our wrongs. Maybe we were equals, and no matter how much our minds and even parts of our hearts tried to contradict it, we were all worthy of life. We were all worthy of being needed, of being loved, of having a place on this Earth. 

Steve couldn't make the guilt and the pain and the images in her head go away, but there was something about knowing that at least one person would've missed her if she was gone, that made the suffocating sensation subside. She was still here... and she couldn't let the life she was given go to waste.  

A/N: This idea came to me as I listened to this song and looked for a GIF that might inspire me, and I came up with this! It's sad and angsty but the soft moment at the end makes my heart warm. I hope you enjoyed this one! ❤