I don't know where to start anymore. My life has been tough. My tough short life. I never really had a chance to complain before now, so why not just start.

When I was around 5 years old my dad died. He had overdosed at a nearby bar. He got drunk every night and always came back picking a fight. Usually, I was the fight that he picked. I have got scars all over to prove it. Of course, I don't let anyone see them. You see my dad was smart, he knew if others could see the scars that he would get into big trouble, so he only hurt my back, chest, stomach, shoulders, biceps, legs and feet. Everywhere else was too visible, and I was happy about that. My friend Josh, his dad was not so smart and was put in jail. Josh had to drop out of school and work.

My mom died when I was 13. She was a nurse at a local hospital and caught influenza from a patient and died. She also got drunk after dad died and also picked fights, but not such terrible ones.

I was sent to an orphanage for teenagers, but I did not last long. I was a small kid, and small kids+orphanage full of teenage boys=small kid hurt. They had t relocate me many times so I could find a place where I could be safe.

After 6 movies in 2 weeks, they just dropped me off in the streets. It was wartime, so it was already hard to find food as it was in houses, but on the streets, it was nearly impossible. Luckily I was such a small kid I did not need much food.

I started to try to get in the war to fight but I had too many health problems to be allowed, I also had to lie about my age. My best friend, Bucky was allowed to fight because of how strong he was. Also he was 17 years old, so he had nor problem getting into the war.

Finally when I was 14, Dr. Abraham Erskine asked me if I wanted to join the army and so I said yes. I was able to get into the army and help my country.

When I reached the camp I realized that at the camp Dr. Abraham Erskine was the only person who thought I could last the training. Other than Agent Carter as well. Everyone else thought I was going to die during training. Everyone was older than me. I still lied to Dr. Abraham Erskine about my age so I cold get into the army.

The other boys knocked me around a lot, made me even more sore than I was from training. By the time Colonel Chester Phillips screamed grenade, I thought 'what the fuck, I won't last much longer anyway' and hurled myself at the grenade to try and keep the explosion closer to the exploding object itself.

Only after I realized that it was a test that determined who was going to be the guinea pig for the Super Solider project.

That night I talked to Dr. Erskine about what I was about to do and what was going to happen. The plan was for me to be introduced to the front line after the experiment and show the enemy who was in charge. Of course, he asked me to stay the same person I was now. He told me that Johann Schmidt was his first try with this experiment, and everyone knows how that went. How he controlled the group called HYDRA and was planning something for getting rid of the entire American armies. He left after a drink that I could not partake in.

The next morning was very stressful. I was stuck in a car with Agent Carter for an hour. I know she is a lot older than I was, but she is just so beautiful.

We talked for a long time, then we reached our destination. Agent Carter gave the secret code, and we went through the secret door in the back.

We entered a secret facility and went down the stairs to the lab where I was going to be transformed. Howard Stark was prepping the machines and making sure that it could be safe as safe could be.

They had me take off my shirt and hat and lie down on a cold metal bed. They gave me a shot of something after explaining what they were about to do. Goose bumps ran up and down my skin as I waited for them to actually inject me the super serum. 

It hurt.

Like fire.

Running through my veins. 

Clouding all of my senses. 

What is that shrill sound in my ears?

Is it someone talking to me?

No.

It's my screaming. 

They are saying to turn off the machine. 

I tell them don't.

I tell them I could make it through to the end. 

I don't know what happens after that. 

I get out of the coffin shaped thing feeling heavy, but stronger than I had ever felt. I knew that all of my health problems had disappeared, replaced with muscle and sharpened senses. Dr. Erskine also told me that he had somehow made the serum boost my brain power as well. Now instead of being at 178 for my IQ, now I was at 210. I never told anyone through. 

After that was a blur. I chased after the guy who was a spy and had killed Dr. Erskine, but he killed himself. The next year I preformed all around the country, trying to recruit other people to join the war. I put on many shows, and they got better and better every time. But I seemed to get less interested every time. 

My 15th birthday came and went. 

When Agent Carter told me that Bucky's group was missing I went right into action. Stark flew me in and I released many good soldiers that day, including Bucky. I met the Red Skull face to face. I celebrated my 16th birthday with Bucky. 

Over the next course of months we took down HYDRA base after HYDRA base. I got a knew shield made out of vibranium, and was named Captain America, like a proper Captain. 

Peggy (thats what I call Agent Carter now) was jealous because I kissed the secretary. At this point in time I only thought about her as my sister, not really a lover, but she had other ideas. I was going to tell her what my idea was about us dating with the age gap, but I never got the chance. 

Bucky died.

It was my fault. 

My fault.           

My fault. 

My fault. 

My fault. 

My fault. 

My fault. 

I celebrated my 17th birthday alone, and unable to get drunk to escape the pain. 

I set a date up with Peggy, she does not know my age. 

I went after the Red Skull and ended up on the plane and defeated him.  I knew that I could have ended avoided crashing but I seemed like the only thing I could do. I could hear the people of the other end of the radio, yelling, screaming, pleading for me not to do this, that they could find another way. But they did not have 210 IQ, they could not figure it out. I was going to die and I was okay with that. 

I turned off the radio and let the silence engulf me. I thought about my life that I had lived, my mother, my father, Josh, Bucky, Peggy and the date I would never go on with her, Dr. Erskine, Colonel Chester Phillips, Stark and how most of them got to live a full life, or would if I had never entered it. But I was making it right now.

The plane hit the water, the water filled my lungs and I let the darkness take me. 

I was dead.   

Dead. 

Dead. 

Dead. 

Dead. 

Dead. 

Dead. 

Dead. 

Dead. 

Dead. 

Dead. 

Dead. 

Dead. 

Dead. 

Dead. 

Dead. 

Dead. 

Dead. 

Dead. 

Dead. 

What was that beeping sound?

What was I feeling?

How am I alive?

I woke up and hear the baseball team score. 

I looked around and noticed the smell did not smell like the normal hospital room. The cars outside did not sound like cars at all. The nurse who came in did not follow procedure. 

Where was I. 

I ran, and ran, and ran, and ran. 

When I got outside, outside did not look right. 

There were to many flashing lights, the cars did not look right. The clothes were wrong, everyone was to happy. The bright colors were also out of place. People looked happy? 

Happy that there was a war going on. I was about to have a panic attack and a sensory overload. 

I heard the cars circle around me and saw a BLACK MAN get out of the car and have people treat him like a leader. 

Don't get me wrong, I am not against black men, but I had never seen one in charge before. Everything was messed up. 

 The man looked at me in the eye and said, "I am sorry about that show back there, but we thought it best to break it to you slowly."

Confused I asked, "Break what?"

  The man replied, "You've been asleep Cap." He hesitated, "For almost 70 years."

I just about lost it. I looked around at ever thing and had to breath deeply to not go into a panic attack on the spot. 

The man must have noticed and looked at me concerned and asked, "Are you going to be okay?"

I answered half heartedly, "Yeah. Yeah, I just.............. I had a date."