So as promised.....the next part is here.

So....dive in

( Inline comments kar dena pweashhheee * puppy face*)

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I looked around. It was all so dark. As if I was in some black hole. I hated it. I wanted to go back. Go back to my family.

I wanted to go back to my Shona and hold her tight in my arms.

I wanted to go back to Mom and sleep on her lap, with her fingers carressing my hairs. Ah! So soothing.

I wanted to go back to Dad and fulfill every dream that he has seen for me.

I wanted to go back to Fab 5 and relive all our happy moments.

Several jolts of current passed through me like a lightening. I felt myself jerking up. I felt my whole world calling out for me. And I tried to wake up. I tried to rise from this darkness. I cannot give up so easily.

But suddenly I felt no courage,no strength left in me. I felt myself sinking more into the darkness.

My whole body ached as if 100 knives had been pierced into it. I couldn't move even a single finger. I was dying. Dying of the pain. Dying of struggling. I tried enough. Now I had nothing left in me to try more.

Suddenly I felt a stream of light coming from a far end. It was.....soothing. So soothing. It felt as if all my pain and sufferings just vanished as the light touched me.

It fascinated me.

It lured me.

I finally got up. And this time to go towards the light.

Finally I was going towards comfort.

But why did it feel like I was going away from all my happiness? Why did it feel like I was leaving something precious behind?

It felt wierd.

It was like peace with no comfort.

It was like cure with no relief.

It was like star with no shine.

What was happening?

But still I started walking towards the light. The nearer I got, the more painless it became. The more I got healed. But it still felt restless.

I was about a few steps away from the source when I suddenly felt someone holding me from behind. As if some unknown strings were pulling me. As if something dear to me was on the verge of losing.

And then I heard it. A voice. A soothing voice.

" You love to trouble us a lot right? But can't you think of the people who will die if you give up today? Do you know what will happen to Mom? How will she survive seeing her dear son dying? How will Dad bear the sight of his pride just losing the fight of his life? How will I handle the broken Cabir you will gift me after this? Han? Tell me!", it said. And it didn't take me long to recognise it. It was Navya. She was angry at me. For leaving them behind.

And I realised. How can I leave my family behind. Shit! What will happen to Mom? She will die if I go away from her. And Dad? Who will he see dreams for now? Who will fulfil his dreams now?

My Veer. My Cabir. How will he handle everything? Will he be able to take the responsibility alone? Won't he break down? How can I leave my Big bro alone down there? No no no I can't. Navya is my best friend. I can't gift her a broken Cabir. I can't make her life miserable.

" You always used to tell me that you will protect Fab 5 and always be their backbone as they consider you to be. What will happen to them if their backbone is broken? Fab 5 will wither out Manik. Trust me...only you can keep Fab 5 alive. You know right? Only you can break it and only you can join it back together. You can't just give up on your responsibilities like this."

She's right. My Fab 5 will break without me. And I can't let that happen.

I promised to be their protector always. Now I can't leave my responsibilities like this.

My Fab 5 has to live. And for that I have to live.

" And my Nandu? Meri Nanhi? My little sister? You think she is strong enough for this? Han? No Manik. She won't be able to survive this. She will break. Break into so many pieces that none of us would be able to join her back ever again. We will loose our Nandini. We will loose her."

Shit! How can I forget about my Shona? Shit! Shit! Shit! She will break after this. She will break on seeing me like this.

How can I leave her like this when I myself promised to be with her always? I promised to be with her in every step of hers. Then how can I leave my love just for my own comfort?

No no no. I can't do this. I have to go back. I have to go back for her.

" Please. This time try with all your might. Try with all your will. I'm sure you can make this. If you are seeing the light....don't go towards it. Just run in the opposite direction. We will catch you. Okay?",she said and I looked back. It was darkness. But it did seem more peaceful than the light now.

I looked back at the light. It was welcoming me. Welcoming me to a world where there was no pain, no suffering.

But there was no family too. My parents, my brother, my bhabi, my friends, noone would be there.

There would be no smiling Nandini waiting for me to take her into my embrace.

There would no caring Mom to sing for me when I would get bad dreams at night.

There would be no Dad to pat my shoulders with a proud smile when I achieve some success.

There would be no Cabir to play pranks on me and no Navya to gang up with me and give it back to him.

There would be no Fab 5 and no Music.

How can I survive there?

No. I have to go away from this dangerous light. I have go back to that darkness. I'm sure, this time my family will save me.

I took a step back from the glow and pain jolted in me. I felt all my cells burn.
I felt as if I was being thrashed and cut.

But this time I didn't give up. I kept taking steps back.

I screamed in pain.

I clenched my fists to keep myself sane.

And I still walked back.

Away from the light.

Away from the comfort.....but towards my peace.

Again I felt a jolt of current flowing. Asking me to hold on to it.

And I did. I held on to the last stroke. And then all went blank.......

" SHUT UP! SHUT THE FUCK UP!", I yelled and threw the vase near me, breaking it into pieces. Aaaghhhhh! Her words just broke my heart like that.

" Have you gone mad? Han?", I yelled, dangerously making my way towards her closing the door behind me and she shrunk back in fear. But alas...I didn't notice it in my anger.

She had already stood out of bed and I just clutched her shoulders and dashed her to the near by wall, pinning her dangerously to it. Her eyes turned wide, a little shriek escaped her lips as it hurt her badly. But I didn't care.

Enough was enough! I can't take this anymore!

Two months! Two freaking months I yearned for her one glimpse. I yearned to hear her voice once. Everyday I waited for her to atleast call me and ask how I was. But she never contacted.

Didn't she know I needed her the most at that time? Han? Didn't she know it breaks me to not see her around?

Every moment I used to feel restless. Trying to figure out what went wrong. Where was she?

Her phone number was not reachable, all mails went unanswered, social media accounts were blocked. She fucking cut me off completely.

No one knows what I went through in those two months. My mind cracked with every possible reason for her dissapearance.

Sometimes fear used to settle in me, thinking if she was even alive. I used to be scared of her taking any wrong step.

Then finally Maddy got a call from George after one and a half months, informing about her being in New York. I was relieved. Relieved that she was alive. Relieved that she was fine. But then anger settled in me. Anger on her. All the pented up frustrations that stored inside me, took the form of rage that waited to burst out.

I wanted to come then only. But I wasn't fully recovered and the doctors didn't clear me for flight journeys. So I had to wait.

I talked to George over phone, asking him about Nandini. But what I heard just shocked me. She was now suffering from PTSD (Post Traumatic Stress Disorder). Frequent attacks, nightmares, hallucinations...all had made her condition more scary.

And thats why I came here as soon as I got clear. Arya and Maddy accompanied me. Others too wanted to come. But I stopped them. I knew her condition was bad and she wouldn't like everyone to see her in that. I promised them that I will get her healed and bring her back as soon as possible. And here I am now. And the volcano that I was holding inside me...finally burst out.

I looked at her caged between me and the wall. Her eyes were closed and lips pursed. Trying to control her tears. I know she is scared now. She has never seen this side of me. Atleast never been on the recieving side of my anger. But this time I didn't control myself. I know this was wrong. But I had to knock some sense in this stupid girl's mind.

I still remember the first time I opened my eyes. How much I wanted to see her. But she never came.

" Do you even realise what you are saying? Who are you alone to decide if I should stay away from you han? Who are you alone to decide that your love was toxic to me? Did I ever tell you that han?", I yelled and she cowered. Her lips quivered in fear,making me restless. But how much ever I tried to control my anger at the moment, I couldn't.

" Do you even know what I went through in those two months when you left me alone and ran away? Do you even know how much I craved for your one glimpse, your one word? Didn't you ever want to know if I am alive or dead?", I yelled pushing her and backing off from her. I saw her eyes widen at my words. I know what she was thinking. How can I even question her like this. But what she said was also something that left me flabberglasted like this.

" Arre I toh died every moment thinking of any possible reason for your disappearance. I cracked my mind everyday thinking where could you be. But did you care? Han? Fucking just left a single message stating not to try to find you ever. Did you think of all this as a joke? Did you think my love, our engagement, this ring was a joke that you can just break it all with just one fucking shitty message?", I yelled at her again, showing her the ring that I wore, passing her a dissapointed look seeing her bare finger. Her eyes met mine and her head bowed down in shame. She knew what I was indicating at and guilt took over her.

" You did all this because of that Naveen's words na? Han? Just because that bastard told you something, you just blindly believed in his words and blamed yourself for everything?", I said and she finally looked up at me. Her eyes were wide and she realised that I understood her pretty well.

I knew she did this because of Naveen and Mom's words. Mom had talked to me and told me what she had uttered to her. She cried and apologized for that too. But I assured her that she wasn't at fault here. What she did was obvious for anyone in that condition. It was only Nandini's condition then that made it worse. Naveen's words must have broken her already and Mom's just came at the wrong time.

But I am not going to forgive this girl easily for that. She can't get away every time with this stunt of hers. She can't always run away from me. She has to learn to trust.

Trust doesn't just mean knowing that I will give up my life for her if needed. Trust means knowing that I won't ever blame her for something I do for her.

Trust doen't mean knowing that I will be there with her in every step. Trust means knowing that I will be needing her in every step of mine.

Trust doesn't just mean knowing that I will never break her. Trust means knowing that I will break if she leaves me ever.

And till now she hasn't trusted me fully. I need to make her realise her faults this time. I need to mend her completely this time.

" Nandini? Is our relationship so weak to break with just one storm? Is our love so delicate to wither out with just that bastards words?", I asked her calmly yet painfully making her eyes water. I know she was guilty. But she has to know what she has done and what she has made me go through.

" Did you even love me ever Nandini?", I asked and she looked as if I had dropped a bomb on her. She was shocked to no extent and I knew why. She in not even her wildest dreams thought that I would ever question her love for me. But what can I do when she herself declared that her love was toxic to me?

" How can you even think like that Manik? How dare you question my love for you? How can you even doubt my feelings?", she yelled and I smiled inwardly. It was going in the right direction. This is what I wanted. Her to confront me. Only then will she ever come out of her cocoon.

" Then what do you expect me to do han? You just left me in my crucial stage when I needed you the most. You didn't even try to ever ask how I was. You never tried to contact me where on the other side I was going mad with your dissapearance. How can you expect me not to doubt your love after what you did?", I retaliated with the same anger and she was taken aback. She had never expected me to think like this. But I knew this was going to make her open up.

" Whatever I did was for that love only Manik. I left you because I loved you. My presence in your life was dangerous for you Manik. From the time I entered your life, it turned haywire. You had to face Soha, you had to go to jail, you had to fight mafias, and as if that wasn't enough, you had to....to...tak..take bullet in you. How do you expect me to react on seeing you on that death bed because of me? It was me who wanted revenge right? It was me who wanted to confront Naveen and then kill him. But see...my one wrong decision cost you so much. Thats why I went away from your life. Every person I ever loved has left me Manik. My Mumma, my Dadda. I didn't want you to be the next. Thats why I ran away from you. So that you can live in peace. ", she said and her words just brought tears in my eyes. How much broken she was to even think all this. Oh Shona's Aiyappa! Why does she have to suffer so much? I was on the verge of melting. But I controlled myself. I had to make her speak out every damn thing today. She has to let everything out.

" But while doing that didn't you realise that you were causing me more pain?", I said and her eyes softened. She realised what I was implying at and had no answers to my question. So I continued...

" You know Nandini. I feel so angry. Not on you. But on myself. I curse myself for being so madly in love with you that even after knowing you left me, all I could think of was you.

I needed your presence with me to heal Nandini and not your absence to keep me safe.

I needed your warmth to have some comfort Nandini and not your ignorance to give me peace.

I needed you Nandini and not a life without obstacles.

But you left.

You left even before I could even open my eyes.

Why didn't you wait to confront me Nandini? Why didn't you wait and ask me if what you were thinking was right? Why didn't you wait to know what I thought...what I wanted?

Didn't my wish, my decision matter? Was only your thought, your decision enough to break a relationship which had both of us involved? ", I finally said everything I had in me and waited for her to react.

My every word broke her. My every pain that reflected from my eyes broke her. Finally her hard shell broke down and she fell on the floor wailing.

It broke me to see her like that. But I knew it was required. This time she has to break down completely so that I can fix her completely new again. The dark Nandini has to die today for my Shona to rise up.

She cried and cried, clutching her knees tight to her chest and burying her head between them. Her whole form shook as she cried her heart out.

My hands itched to wipe her tears. My arms ached to hold her tight in them and cajole her. My heart screamed to kiss her forehead and assure that everything was fine. But I controlled myself. She has to bear this alone. I can support her. But she has fight with herself all alone.

I waited for her to speak something. Her cries gradually slowed down reducing to whimpers. I looked away as I couldn't take the sight. It just broke my heart seeing her so helpless. But I knew. This was needed for her to stand back stronger.

" I was scared.", I heard her meek voice and my head jerked at her. She was looking down. Her face all red with dried tearson her cheeks. Her hairs messed up. Her eyes swollen and eyebrows sticky with continuous crying. Oh God! What has happened to my Shona!

" The moment I saw you falling down clutching your stomach, I felt my whole world crash down. I felt knives piercing through me when I saw your bloodied frame. Your eyes were closing Manik. And I couldn't do anything. I couldn't do anything to reduce your pain.

You know how I felt when you uttered your last words before closing your eyes? I felt worthless Manik. Worthless of your love. I felt myself responsible for every pain of yours. I felt like killing myself for being so helpless.", she said and I gasped. How can she even think of killing herself? Oh Aiyappa!

" We got you to the hospital. But we were still loosing you Manik. Your condition was so critical. But you know? I still didn't loose my hope. I prayed to Aiyappa every second. Ved didn't allow me inside the OR. I was shattered. But I tried hard to hold myself together. For you. I didn't want you to see me broken when you wake up. I had faith in Aiyappa that you'll surely wakeup Manik.", she said making me confused. If she was so strong then what went wrong?

" But with time my hope started breaking Manik. The longer the surgery took, the more my heart feared. And when finally Ved declared you going comatosed, that was it. I lost all my hope. Haemorrhagic coma has high chances of sepsis. I knew that.

I know Manik I should have still held on to my hope. But I failed there. I just....couldn't. May be the number of deaths I have seen, and mostly two of my closest persons, had made me so weak that I couldn't handle it anymore. I tried to move away from there to calm my mind. To make myself sane again. But Mom's outburst just broke me more. I know Manik that she never meant it that way. But at that moment, may be I couldn't take any of it. Maybe my senses worked in a complete different way. I couldn't keep myself sane. And everything went haywire. ", she said and now I realised where all went wrong. Nandini's PTSD wasn't from now. It was from long back. Maybe from the moment she had seen her mother's death. And death was its trigger. Death of a loved one.  That is why when Vivek uncle, her father died, she couldn't handle it and locked herself up for fifteen days. She hadn't even fully recovered from it and my incident triggered her more.

" When you didn't wake up even after four rounds of Shock and CPR, I felt my soul leaving me. I couldn't breathe anymore. I felt myself dying. I didn't even realise when my legs started taking me away from you.

You asked me why I ran away right? Because I couldn't stand there and hear Ved declaring your de...death. So I ran. I ran out of the hospital onto the road. I wasn't aware where I was going.

A bus was approaching me. And I shouted your name. I called for you. But you didn't come. And I realised that you will never come. And I froze. The loud horn of the bus did nothing to break my trance. I stood there, waiting for the bus to hit me. Waiting for death. So that I can get back with you.", the moment she muttered those words, I jumped at my place. I can't even imagine that incident. I can't even imagine what could have happened.

I immediately went to her and checked her for injuries. But she held my hand blinked at me, assuring me that she was fine.

" I was saved. I didn't realise who it was then. But now I know...it was George. I fell unconscious. May be because the trigger was so strong. Before falling into sleep, I just pleaded whoever it was to take me away from there. Far away. And he being George, immediately understood my condition and flew me here in the Air Ambulance they had taken with them for a case. I was unconscious for 38 hours.", I was relieved. But still shocked. So much happened. Somewhere I knew she must have had panic attack. But I never knew it was so dangerous.

" When I woke up, I had no wish to live. I didn't know till then that you were alive. George was at Seattle and Lexie didn't know anything about you. I used to get frequent attacks that time. You know around two-three triggers a day. Everytime I thought of you, I went into violent panic attacks. Lexie had such a hard time handling me. Worst part happened when I frequently tried to harm myself during those attacks and all Lex could do was supress me by injecting high dose anti-depressants, putting me to sleep.", I was numb now. I can't even think of anything like that happening to her. Not even in my wildest dreams did I think that she would have suicidal tendencies. Why God? Why did you make her suffer so much? Now I cursed myself for being so harsh on her just a moment ago. I can't even imagine what she has gone through. And I was not there with her.

(* Writer's pov*

Both the souls were suffering at two far ends of the world. But not aware of each other's pain.

They were yearning for each other's presence. But couldn't.

One couldn't go because of his own helplessness.

One couldn't go because of her own stubbornness.

In all this, the two months of their life turned out be nightmares.)

" Then George came back. He had been in constant touch with Maddy and Arya. He informed me about your health. That you were alive. And believe me Manik, that was the best moment in my life. ", this shocked me. If George hd been in constant touch with Maddy and Arya, why wasn't I informed.

" They didn't inform you because of your health Manik. Your condition was delicate and any stress was strictly prohibited. And if George had told you about me being here, you would have insisted to see me. And my condition that time was something not preferable for you.", she said and I nodded. Tears were flowing from my eyes. What did she even do to deserve this? I had my whole family and all my friends back there to help me fight with a disease, an accident.

But here she was all alone. All alone......fighting with herself. I can't even imagine how horrifying it would have been.

" George tried to heal me. Being a Psychiatrist, he gave me proper medication and regular Psychotherapy sessions. And my attacks started decreasing. They reduced from two-three a day to two-three a week.

But those nightmares never left me. Every night I used to try and be awake all night to prevent those scary scenes. Every time I closed my eyes, your blood filled body came into my view and that used to make me shudder.

I joined back hospital, because work was something that kept me sane. But there too I could never get into an OR again. Because the moment I stepped into an OR, flashes of you lying on the table and Ved driving me out used to come back to me making me loose it. So I stopped taking surgical cases.", this came as another bolt to me. Surgery was her freaking life! And she couldn't do that because of her panic attacks! Oh God! Why her?

How I wished to reverse the time so that this would have never happened. How I wished I had been there to cajole her to a peaceful sleep when she got those nightmares. How I wished to hold her hand and take her to the OR where she would again do wonders by saving lives! But alas! Its all gone. And I was back there in Mumbai, mourning over my own pains, getting angry on her for not coming back to me! How sick of you Manik Malhotra! Not for once did you think that even she would be suffering being far away from you, and that maybe her pain would be more than yours.

" Do you know, sometimes it used to be just so unbearable that all I wished was to only run into your arms and cry my heart out. But I didn't. Because of my stubbornness.

I was so stubborn on not going back to your life that I didn't realise when I made both our lives a hell. I thought you would be happy without me. But I was wrong there too. I snatched your happiness too because of my own stupidity. ", she said, finally breaking down to tears again. This time too she blamed herself and I understood where it was coming from. Her mental condition forced her to think this way.

This time I didn't let her suffer alone. I just engulfed her in my arms, holding her close to my heart, finally feeling my peace after so long. How much I missed this. She too clung to me tighter. As if afraid that I will vanish if her hold loosens.

" Heal me Manik. Please heal me. I am no longer the Nandini that you loved. I have turned into a black hole Manik. And it scares me. I hate it Manik. Please get me out of this. Please...", she cried, and all I did was just tighten my hold around her, promising myself to get my Nandini back this time.

Enough of sufferings Shona. You have fought enough. Now its time for me to fight for you. And I promise to fight your dark self and defeat it forever.

Its time for me to heal you completely.

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So...finally the end of darkness.

Its such a long update after such a long time and even my eyes were moist while writing it.

Both of their pains are so much that it just gives goosebumps.

So did you find it worthy?

I showed both their pains and tried to justice to both the characters and hope you liked that.

Now....

How was Manik's pov in coma?

Navya just literally pulled him away from the doors of death han.

How was Manik's outburst? Was it justified?

What do you think about Nandini's sufferings? Do you still think that she was wrong?

Now its time for Manik to heal her. Do you think he will be able to?

Keep thinking and do post your views in my comment box.

And do press the star below. I need lots and lots of votes for this much mehnat 😪😫.

Till the next update then.

Stay safe

Stay healthy

Yours Writer