This morning, as I came out from my shower, I was surprised to find my ARMY bomb lying on my pillow. Because I didn't know we were coming to see BTS in concert, I had not even thought of bringing mine with me. Upon further thought, I had no idea where my ARMY bomb was; all my belongings were still packed up in boxes in Dad's shed. It seemed though, that either Esther or my mother had not only known where it was but had remembered to bring it with them.

I had a nice and relaxing day with my mother and sister. The three of us decided to pamper ourselves in the hotel spa this morning. The magnesium float we had was divine and I felt my stress melting off me. When it was followed up by a full-body massage, well it was safe to say I felt like a puddle of goo encapsulated in skin. I was in a state of complete relaxation for what felt like the first time in years.

Esther suggested we have a late lunch at a nearby restaurant. The food scene on the Sunshine Coast was good with a variety of tasty options to choose from. However, when comparing it to Melbourne's renowned food scene, it didn't quite measure up in terms of diversity and culinary excellence. The little hole-in-the-wall Italian cafe we chose had food so good all three of us moaned in delight at the tastes that burst across our tongues. While I liked pasta and pizza, Italian cuisine was not one that I had a strong desire to have all the time. I much preferred dishes from Korea, Vietnam, Thailand and other Asian countries because it was a lot lighter compared to heavy pasta. That being said, the slow-cooked lamb ragu pappardelle was one of the best things I had ever eaten.

By the time we finished eating, I felt like I needed to roll back to the hotel. I hoped that my outfit would fit over the food baby I'd acquired. I was thankful when Mum told us that we had time for a nap before we needed to get ready. I loved how both women thought of me when it came to having a quiet day. Both of them were outgoing and loved being around people, which meant they would be energized by the lively crowd at the concert. In contrast, by the end of the event, my social energy would be completely depleted.

꧁♥💜♥꧂

When we entered the stadium, so many fans stopped to ask Mum where she had gotten her t-shirt from. As a fan of Mean Girls, as soon as my mother spotted the t-shirt yesterday, she bought it with today in mind. Printed across the front of the white short-sleeved top were the words in a decorative font: 'I'm a K-Pop mum. Just like a normal mum except much cooler.' Mum looked so pretty and cool in her top. She went for a casual look, with her favourite pair of black denim jeggings and some sneakers. Esther took a more edgy approach with her tied black tee, ripped black jeans and a pair of black combat boots. I had fallen in love with the 3/4-length boat neck tee that had a rainbow heart spray painted with a graffiti finger heart in the middle. It looked feminine, especially with the white flared skater mini-skirt that fell to my mid-thigh. Instead of buying new shoes, I wore my favourite nude sandals.

Sitting in our seats, the cacophony from ARMY as the lights went down was something that I would never forget in my life. The loud mix of sounds all around me completely overshadowed any of the enthusiastic cheers I'd heard at other artists' concerts. The one group that came closest to the sheer intensity of the crowd was Stray Kids, at the concert I went to in Sydney a few months ago. Stays were loud but the noise ARMY made was so overpowering that it made it impossible to hear anything else, even Esther or Mum who were right beside me.

The crowd screamed as the VCR began to stream across several giant screens at the back of the stage and to each side. Images of the seven members as they interacted with each other drew cheers as fans saw their bias on the screen. Like the other BTS concerts that I had seen via livestream, this VCR had a concept of unity combined with a quest. In this one, the guys were investigating a case like police detectives. Each member had a role to play in figuring out who had stolen the ARMY bomb's power that filled the earth with love, happiness and positivity.

As I watched, I realised that I could see snippets of their personality from both this universe and who they were as Seed Bearers. Unlike my Jiminie's universe though, none of the guys in the VCR had colourful hair. There had been lots of talk that this tour was them embracing their roots, and by the black hair that donned each of them, I could see it. It was a definite contrast to the way the Seed Bearers looked. Black-haired BTS made it easier for me to keep the two universes separated and I wondered whether this was part of fate's plan.

The energy in the stadium changed as the screens went black. The air felt thick with excitement, love and adoration. It wasn't until smoke appeared with seven spotlights showcasing the idols that the spark ignited. If the cheers were loud for the VCR, they had nothing on the ferocious roar that came when Namjoon yelled out, "Melbourne, make some motherfucking noise!"

Song after song, I was captivated by my favourite group the entire time. I had always been a fan of theirs, although now that I was fluent in their language, the lyrics to their songs hit differently. I was able to understand the untranslatable inferences.

As RM began rapping Trivia: Love, tears streamed down my face. I understood exactly what he was saying and implying. The song had always been a comforting one for me, although now it was an absolute masterpiece.

Each of the other solo songs had also been amazing. Suga had the crowd up on their feet for Haegum from his latest mixtape. While I wished he had performed Daechwita (which was my favourite Agust D song), I was up dancing and singing the entire time. He looked so different to the blue-haired version of himself; this one was hard and tough while the Yoongi I knew from the other universe was soft and loving.

Jin's latest solo song Astronaut had me crying happy tears. As he sang, I thought about Seokjin singing this song to Soon-Bok and their baby. I hoped that her pregnancy was going well and that they were checking in on my Jiminie.

V sang Winter Bear and he looked adorable dressed in long pj's to match the song. The contrast between the current scorching night and the lyrics had the crowd giggling as he first came on stage. It seemed that we were seated in an area that had a lot of Tae fans, as the screaming was intense. I liked his voice in OT7 songs, but I couldn't say I was a real fan of V's solo songs because they were all slow.

Jungkook wowed the audience with My Time, which was my favourite of his solo songs. I was thrilled to see him perform it with the powerful and sexy choreography. I wondered if he danced like that in the other universe and whether he had given Da-Eun a private performance.

My heart leapt out of my chest when J-Hope stepped on the stage. He danced up a storm to Outro: Ego and I was on cloud nine as my bias came over to the side of the stage where our seats were. Whenever I would think of Hobi as my bias, an image of my blonde Seed Bearer's pout came into my mind. He hated that I didn't like Jimin as much as J-Hope and he never let me forget it.

When Jimin appeared on stage singing the first lines of Promise, my poor heart didn't know whether to flutter with love or break for not being with my Jiminie. The man on stage reminded me so much of the man I loved, especially the look of devotion that came across his face as he looked out into the crowd. I was used to seeing the same sparkle in my Jiminie's eyes as he looked at me, which made the tears that had dried up after Jin's performance return. Although, instead of a few graceful streams tracking down my cheeks, I was consumed with full-blown sobbing. Every part of me missed and craved the man who held my heart.

Time and time again, one of us uttered to the others how amazing the concert was. We had managed to get incredible seats, slightly to the left of the centre. Mum joked that it was thanks to her and the need for disabled-accessible seats that we were so close. She often teased that she came with 'perks', like good parking and either half-price or free tickets for whoever went with her as her companion thanks to the Companion Card the government gave her. Either way, I had never been closer to a concert stage.

I loved every minute as the guys each came over to interact with us ARMYs. Everyone in my section 'caught' Jin's flying kiss as he sent it in our direction. I thought I might have had to call the paramedics for Mum as she stopped breathing because of her bias.

୧‿︵‿๑︵‿୨💜୧‿︵‿୨💜୧‿︵๑‿︵‿୨

"You ready to meet the guys, Squish?"

I nodded at my mum as the concert finished. In the letter Esther had printed off from BigHit Entertainment with the ticket for the fan meet, I was instructed to stay in my seat since someone would come to get me. Mum and Esther both waited with me. Each was gushing about how amazing the concert was in person compared to the ones we had seen on our television screens.

"You nervous?" Esther asked as she placed her hand on my jiggling knee. I didn't know why a wave of nervous energy came over me.

"Yeah, and I don't know why. It's not like I've never met the guys before."

"You might've met the men as Seed Bearers," Mum stated softly as she held onto my left hand, "But you've never met these guys." The way she stroked my knuckles with her thumb reminded me of how my Jiminie would do that to me. The action calmed my racing heart a bit. "You know, I think I'd be more concerned if you weren't nervous or excited."

Esther and I both spun to look at our mother. As she spoke at a lower volume so no one would overhear us, I found myself agreeing with her. As she put it, I needed to see if there was a similar connection with BTS' Jimin that I had with my Jiminie.

"Anyone in your position would be nervous, Nell. But, how about you don't think about all that today?" I looked at my sister with confusion as she gave my knee a gentle squeeze. "Instead of worrying about your Jimin and how you know these guys as Seed Bearers, just see them as the seven idols you love and admire. The rest will all work itself out."

Esther had a point. As I was about to agree with her, a middle-aged man with bright yellow 'Security' plastered across his shirt with a name badge stating 'Gary' came over to the three of us. "Evening ladies. Which one of you is Elenor Bennett and can I please see your fan meet ticket?"

With a gulp, I stood and handed over the paperwork. "We'll wait for you outside, Nell," Mum said as she gathered her belongings and stowed them at the back of her wheelchair.

"I don't know how long this will take, so I will meet you back at the hotel," I replied, preferring that they were comfortable. "We can grab dinner together at that restaurant near the hotel we saw. Okay?" I followed the security guard after receiving their approval.

"Are you excited to meet the band?" he asked, making small talk as we walked through the rabbit warren that was backstage. "Have you been a fan for long?" I told him that I was both excited and nervous to meet them and that I'd been listening to their music for many years. "To be honest, I'd never heard of the blokes before I heard I'd be working for them. Turns out that my daughter and niece are both big fans, and I've gotta admit, they put on a bloody good show."

All I could do was nod and laugh at Gary's words. We chatted a little about the concert before I found myself at the doorway of a large conference room. "Enjoy yourself," my escort said with a wide smile, "Someone will show you to the exit once the fan meet is over."

I thanked the man as he wandered away and took a deep breath. "They're just ordinary men who make amazing music," I reminded myself in a whisper. "Don't stress. Have fun. Be your wonderful self and remember everything so I can tell Mum and Esther."

My pep talk did wonders to ease my anxiety. With renewed confidence, I strolled through the door. A moment later, a young, official-looking Korean man entered the room. By the looks of him, I guessed he must've been one of the managers. "Hello ARMY, welcome to the BTS fan meet," he said with an accented voice. I could tell by the way his words rolled off his tongue that the man was either fluent in English or had a very good grasp of the language. "We are doing things a little differently tonight. Instead of you all moving between each of the members, they will rotate through the groups as there are only 15 of you."

As the manager went over a few housekeeping rules, I took the chance to look around the room. The room didn't have a long table for the members to sit at, unlike other fan-meets. Instead, it had three clusters of chairs set up in different corners. I also spied a table with two large boxes on top, I didn't give that any mind, though. By the looks of it, this was a very exclusive opportunity for a few lucky ARMYs to meet and interact with the group. I now understood why the competition entry had been more difficult than others in the past.

"I ask you all to please take a seat," the manager stated, motioning towards the three designated areas. "It doesn't matter which group you choose. You will all get plenty of time to meet and converse with the seven members."

Following the manager's words, I headed over to the grouping of chairs to my right. I took the seat on the end, closest to the wall. I was more comfortable with having only one person beside me, who I learned was a sweet teenager named Avery. It turned out that she was very shy and also introverted, which made the poor girl very nervous. I asked her who her bias was in hopes of easing her anxiety. The simple question had her gushing about how she loves Jungkook because he's also shy. However, her smile dimmed when she said that she did not have anything for him to sign.

I fished through my bag looking for the photocards that Esther had bought for me to have signed. I didn't need a physical reminder of my time meeting the band, so I handed the seven cards to the young girl. Her smile and tears of joy made my heart sing; it felt nice to do something for someone else. Right as she began to profusely thank me, gasps and a few squeals rang out.

Bangtan Sonyeondan was here.

꧁♥💜♥꧂

Yoongi and Jin were the first two who sat with my group. The moment the two men sat on the seats placed in the middle of our arc of chairs, the air around me felt relaxed yet energised. Yoongi was his calm, yet hyped-up self as he smiled his gummy grin at each of us. Jin wasted no time telling a joke—except, the rapper and I were the only ones laughing since he said it in Korean. It was weird seeing the guys like this. I felt like I knew them in two completely different ways. As Seed Bearers, they were my friends that I had made during my time in the other universe. Yet, as I sat here, I was a fan who had loved them for many years.

I had wanted to hold off from letting them know I could speak in Korean, but I could see the two men were a little shy. They were two of the members known to speak less English. I ended up playing translator between the men and the four other girls when there were language barrier issues. Even though they were appreciative, I only came to their rescue when they asked for help.

While Jin was busy signing albums, photocards and other BTS merch, Yoongi squatted beside me and complimented me on my Korean. "Your Korean is so good. You speak with a natural and accurate pronunciation of Korean sounds, intonation, and rhythm." I couldn't stop the blush that coloured my cheeks from his praise. Yoongi wasn't the type of person to give compliments for the sake of it. "Where did you learn if you don't mind me asking?"

"I lived in Seoul for a while with my boyfriend," I replied in his mother tongue. What I had told him might have been part of the truth. There was no way, however, that I was telling him who the boyfriend I mentioned was or that I had acquired my skill for his language by magic. At the same time that he opened his mouth to speak, the manager announced that it was time for the members to swap groups.

"I'm sorry that I didn't get to sign anything for you," Yoongi apologised. His voice was low and deep, the same as my blue-haired friend's back in the other universe. I could see the differences between the two Yoongi's. This one was more guarded and reserved with his emotions, which were by-products of his career and fame. The Seed Bearer version had a different version of stress that was evident in his eyes. The moment he and Ara announced they were expecting, though, that stress had disappeared. I loved this Yoongi, yet I missed the one I considered my good friend.

"That's okay. Seeing you guys in your element was everything to me," I said, seeing Jin walking over with a smile on his handsome face. "Though, would it be okay if we took a quick photo, please?"

Both men obliged eagerly, saying how it was only fair since I had been an excellent translator for them. "I wish you a lifetime of happiness filled with people who love you both for who you are," I said low enough so only they could hear. Being the recipient of a Jin flying kiss had my cheeks burning as he and Yoongi wandered over to the group on the left of the room.

I only had a moment to calm my racing heart when three members sat down in front of us. Being so close to Hobi had my inner fangirl jumping up and down but I managed to appear calm on the outside as he, JK and V conversed with my group.

Hoseok and Jungkook were both fairly confident with their English skills. I was about to relax and enjoy my time with them when one of the girls turned to me and asked what the two maknae had said to each other. I wasn't going to out the two men for commenting on the girl sitting in the second seat's breasts. So, I told a little white lie. I said that Jungkook liked her t-shirt, which had an image of the vocalist singing Euphoria while flying through the air.

I got confused looks from all three members until I mouthed 'Your secret is safe with me' in Korean. Hoseok broke out into a beaming smile when he realised that I'd understood the two younger men's conversation and ogling.

It seemed like 20 minutes sped past as if on fast-forward. There were a couple of times where I translated but most of the time, I sat back and enjoyed myself. That was until Tae asked the five of us ARMY who our biases were.

"Nope, not telling," I said with heated cheeks. I couldn't believe I was blushing once again. It seemed my response wasn't going to cut it since V and Jungkook both brought out their puppy dog eyes. "Ugh, fine but quit it with those eyes," I teased. "Until recently, my bias was J-Hope..."

"But now I'm not?" Hobi coaxed with a slight pout, sensing there was someone who had surpassed him.

"But now Jimin holds that place in my heart," I answered truthfully.

"Our Jiminie is very special. I thank you for letting me hold a special place in your heart during the time that I did. No hard feelings that I've been replaced," he joked, switching languages so only I would understand.

The manager cleared his throat and announced it was time for the last change. I bid each member goodbye and shared the same sentiments I had told Jin and Yoongi. Then, they headed off to the group on the left.

My poor heart felt like it was going to beat out of my chest as I watched the final two members walk over. It was as if time slowed down as I watched Jimin cross the room. As RM and Jimin sat down, I couldn't take my eyes off the younger man. He looked so much like my Jiminie, except for the fact that he had black hair and there was a gleam in his eye that was more flirtatious than the loving ones my boyfriend gave me.

I wasn't listening to the conversations the other girls in my group were having with the members. I realised that I must've been staring hard while I took note of all the differences between the two versions of the same man when the vocalist gave me a wink. It didn't set my heart and body alight like it did when my Jiminie winked at me if we were with other people. Instead, it reminded me more of my ex, who I didn't want to think about right now.

"What about you?" RM asked in his fluent English. His Americanised accent sounded stronger amongst the Aussie voices, but it was still just as comforting as every time I had heard it in videos. "Do you have a question for us?"

It seemed like he was more structured than the other members I had met. The two other groups didn't ask us five fans if we had questions, but I assumed it was due to him being the leader. There was only one question that formed in my mind; I wasn't sure if it was appropriate for me to ask, though. Both the rapper and singer must've noticed my hesitation because they gave me reassuring smiles.

"Namjoon-ssi, Jimin-ssi, if you had to give up everything you had as members of BTS and leave your life of fame behind for the chance of true love, would you do it?"

The looks of shock that came across both men's faces merged into awe as I asked my question in their language. During our 15 minutes together so far, I hadn't let on that I could understand and converse in Korean since the rapper was translating anything for his brother.

"Your Korean is so good!" Jimin gushed, clapping his hands in that same adorable way my boyfriend did when he was happy or excited. When he was cute and soft like this, the vocalist reminded me so much of my Jiminie that I had to physically grab my chair to not launch myself and attach my lips to his.

"I wish I could speak English with the same confidence you have when you speak Korean," RM said, his cheeks dusted with a slight pinkness. "You must have studied very hard."

I had to bite my tongue. I couldn't reveal that my ability to understand his language was not from studying at all. Parallel universes, magical cards, and the ability to instantly understand a foreign language were not easy to explain.

"To answer your question... I'd do it in a heartbeat." The dimples that pierced his pink, flushed cheeks told me his words were true. "Loving someone is the most powerful and selfless act we can do. To be loved in return, well that is far greater than any fame or career."

I knew when I asked my question that the brilliant leader would have a profound answer. The rapper in front of me was the same as the orange-haired man whom I called my friend. I wondered if he and his assigned female had announced they were successful in their union yet. I hoped so because they looked cute together.

My eyes turned to the vocalist who bore the same face as the man who held my heart. I hadn't felt the same connection with this Jimin as I did with my Seed Bearer. I needed to know if it was because he was in a room full of fans... or if I wasn't meant to be with this version of Park Jimin.

"I'd like to say I would," Jimin began, his voice quiet and shy, "But I wouldn't be able to do that to ARMY. I love our fans and everything I do in life is for them. To step away because of someone I loved would be selfish of me, and I would feel guilty for the rest of my life for putting my needs first. I couldn't do that to my members, or our fans."

The bright smile he gave told me that he loved ARMY wholeheartedly, which I could not fault him for. It made me realise that even though the two Jimins looked the same—albeit with different hair colours and styles—my heart did not belong to both. This epiphany was surprisingly liberating.

I knew what I had to do... I hoped my head wouldn't talk my heart out of the decision.