"Holy fucking shit-balls! Where the fuck have you been, you slag?" Kylie's voice rang out in an ear-splitting volume as soon as she came to the table. I cringed, as did the others. Heads turned at nearby tables, their expressions filled with annoyance and disdain at the loud and inappropriate disturbance. Even though my friends and I were accustomed to the playful nicknames, not everyone in the restaurant shared our familiarity with Kylie's unique way of expressing herself.

"For goodness' sake, keep your voice down," Regina criticised, a scowl painted across her pretty features. "I'm sure Nell will tell us all now that you finally showed up."

While we'd waited for Kylie to arrive, Esther, Regina, Isla and I caught up with what had happened in our lives. Isla told us that not much had changed for her over the past few months. I hadn't seen Regina for over five months since she hadn't been able to come to our last couple of brunches. I learned that she was soon to be Mrs Regina Carnegie after her boyfriend had proposed a couple of days after I had gone up the stairs. I was happy for my friend; her now-fiancé was a lovely man who shared the same religious views and values. They were almost as cute of a couple as Jimin and me.

"It's good to see you, too," I laughed, standing to hug my loud yet lovable friend. "Let's order first and then I'll tell you all what's been going on, okay?"

"She didn't say she wasn't going to talk at all, so you can stop pouting," Regina commented without looking up from her menu. We were all used to the love/hate dynamic that came from her and Kylie. The two were good friends but Regina had less tolerance than the rest of us.

I took a few moments of peace while everyone looked over their menus to steel my nerves. Since hearing from Christof how easy it was for him to see the holes in my story, I feared my friends would find them, too. I hated not being able to tell them the truth; unfortunately, it was a necessity if I wanted to stay out of the loony bin.

Among my three closest friends—excluding Esther, because I knew her stance on this—I believed that only Regina would stand by my side if shit hit the fan. Regina had always been there for me, offering unwavering support and understanding in times of trouble. Isla would be devastated if she found out I was keeping this secret from her since she was the one who introduced Esther and me to BTS and K-Pop.

It was Kylie, however, that I was most worried about. She came from a family of psychologists and other medical fields. If it came out that I had been in another universe, I would be studied—either as a nutcase or a scientific experiment.

As soon as the waiter left with our orders, four pairs of eyes trained upon me—one set held a sympathetic look. Keeping what Esther had already told them in mind, I began explaining my side of the situation. Jaws dropped lower and lower as the three women heard details about my 'experience'. I found the more I was telling people what had happened to me, the more natural it felt. Even though I knew exactly what the truth was, each time I told the story of my whereabouts, it was like my brain was confabulating the experience until it also felt like I had lived this alternative scenario.

"Wow," Isla breathed out once I finished, her loaded fork hovered in the air. "If I didn't know you and know that you always told the truth, I would be certain you were talking about a book you read or a new movie."

I twisted my fingers together, praying to every deity in existence that my friends didn't hone in and see the holes that my brother-in-law did. I sighed in relief as I watched Kylie playfully hit Isla's arm, chastising her for her moment of disbelief.

"That boy of yours sounds like an angel on Earth. Where do I find one for myself? Though, there seems to be some talent in here today," the pastry chef mused while looking around the full dining area.

"What happened to James?" I asked, steering the conversation towards the girls' relationships. "I thought you two were tight and were looking at moving in together."

"He went the same way as Bubbles' ex... He went and tripped, falling into another woman's pussy."

I spun and looked at my sister at Kylie's unperturbed claim. With everything that had happened to me, I had completely forgotten that Esther had a boyfriend when we left for Costa Rica. I felt like the worst twin for forgetting about Tom. Guilt overrode my nerves because it sounded like she'd been cheated on by the man she had fallen for. I made a mental note to talk to Esther when we were alone, so I could make sure she was okay; I didn't want to drop the ball again.

꧁♥💜♥꧂

Slightly less sober giggles filled the table as talk turned more risqué. It was albeit a tamer version than it would have been if Regina wasn't here. I thought it was so cute how red her cheeks went hearing some of the things that came from Kylie and Esther. I could see, though, that my more conservative friend was paying close attention at times. Even though Regina asserted the flush on her cheeks was the result of the cocktails we had consumed over the past hour or so, I saw a side to her I'd never seen before. Was she nervous about her lack of sexual experience? Especially since she'd be getting married soon and would experience sex for herself.

As I sat and listened to the others speak, I was reminded of those boozy brunches that the women of Sex and the City would often be shown having. Each of us was a little like those four. Regina was a clear Charlotte, while Kylie was a typical Samantha. Isla was a definite Miranda; Esther was Carrie and Samantha combined. I was Carrie—especially with how unlucky in love she was. If I was like the blonde, curly titular character, did that make Jimin my 'Mr Big'? He was indeed big where it counted, yet he was so much sweeter and way hotter than Chris Noth.

Thinking of that comparison, my mind wandered to my boyfriend. I hoped that he was okay. The more days that passed, I found that it wasn't just my heart and mind that missed him—my body did, too. Being without him was like someone had hacked off an important part of me that they deemed was not necessary. To make matters worse, I had been so sexually frustrated for days that not even my own hands could help get me off. As I looked at my hands resting on the table, my drunk mind pictured Jimin and his seriously talented hands. That mental picture just made me more frustrated.

I shook my head, trying to clear my thoughts as I heard my name called. Turning to look at Kylie, it was my turn to blush when she asked her question again, "How is Jim in bed?"

"Let me put it this way—Regina, I'd shut your ears if you don't want to hear this," I said, turning to my friend whose face was a bright red. I was surprised when she did not move a muscle. "The sex is explosive. He's the perfect mix of sexy dom and sweet lover. Every time I am with him, he rocks my world completely off its axis. Jim's also so incredibly sweet, though. He's kind, loving and an overall amazing man." I paused, dragging out the moment before I dropped the smaller bomb on my friends. "I'm considering moving to be with him."

Smiles morphed to surprise as my three friends took in the news. Esther was drinking her cocktail, the calm amongst the chaos that was unfolding in front of us as each of our friends spoke over each other. While two were happy and supportive, one voice had me feeling like a knife was being stabbed into my heart.

"You know this man for what, a few weeks? Got dick-whipped by a good root and now you're thinking of moving to... Wait, where is he from?" I was so surprised to hear this from Isla as I thought she would be supportive of me. My eyes began to well as she continued, "I thought you would have learned your lesson after Nate. It seems, though, like you're back to your old ways where you forget about your friends once you have a bloke of your own. Did you once think about us? Did you think how we felt with not knowing if you were even alive? No, I bet you didn't."

"ISLA, THAT'S ENOUGH!" Regina snarled. The anger that seeped from her voice contrasted with the soft dabbing motions she made to dry the tears on my cheeks with a spare napkin.

"No! I am done pussyfooting and biting my tong—"

I looked up when Isla's words were suddenly cut off. Esther had a hand over our friend's mouth. She was glaring at our oldest friend with so much venom that even Yoongi would have recoiled in fear. My sister's voice lowered in volume, yet it was still loud enough for me to hear her words of warning. "Don't stir the possum, Isla. You don't get to sling off at Nell just because you're too chicken shit to own up to your feelings and speak your heart. Unless you're prepared to lose some of those tickets you've got on yourself, I suggest you rack off before you say anything you really will regret."

I had no idea what was meant by my sister's words, but it was clear that Isla did. I watched with a steady stream of tears and an open mouth as my friend reached down with a huff, grabbed her purse and stormed out of the restaurant.

"What the fuck just happened?" I asked no one in particular.

None of the others would answer me and were instead focused on their drinks, the table or people-watching. It was either because they were in shock too, or the three did know and wanted to keep it from me. Nevertheless, the way that Isla reacted made me realise one thing. In all the times that I thought of my loved ones when I was with Jimin, I had thought of my friends—not as often as my family but I still wondered how they were. I didn't think I was one of those women who forgot about friend friends if she was with a boyfriend. The longer I mulled over her words, the more I was convinced that I was nothing like the insensitive person she'd made me out to be.

Isla had been in my life when I was with my first boyfriend, Daniel. Even though she was a little stand-offish when he and I were together, I had maintained all my social friendships. She was there for only the last half of my relationship with Nate since she had moved to the Gold Coast to attend university. Even then, I was the one who made sure to call and text Isla regularly. It was my relationship with my last serious boyfriend that my friendship with Isla grew more strained. However, as I thought about it, I was not the cause of the distance. She was. When I looked back at the three serious relationships I'd been in, Isla was always the one to pull away first.

Startled by my epiphany, I looked over to Esther and saw that my twin was studying my features closely. I went to speak but my mouth closed upon seeing her shake her head. I'd figured out that something was going on and now I knew that Esther knew what it was. I also understood my sister and her mind well enough to recognise that whatever that information was, it would not be getting shared here.

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"What the fuck was that back there?!" I demanded as soon as Esther and I climbed out of the Uber we took back to her place. The brunch ended shortly after Isla stormed out since the four of us were uncomfortable with what had gone on.

"It's not my place to say anything, Squish," my sister replied while trying to brush me off as she unlocked her front door. I followed her into the living room, where we both plopped onto either end of the couch.

"That's bullshit and you know it! Since when have we had secrets between us? Never, that's when." I knew I was being unreasonable by dumping all my frustrations out onto my sister. Between my longing to be back with my Jiminie, my inability to relieve this sexual itch that kept building inside of me—no, it wasn't crabs or another STI—and now this shit with Isla, I was about to explode.

The sigh that Esther let out was loud and drawn out as she laid her head on the back of the sofa and turned to look at me. "Please, Nell. It's not my secret to tell. It's not that I am keeping anything from you intentionally. I shouldn't be the one who should be telling you."

"God, you're making it sound like she's in love with me or something," I grumbled in frustration. I opened my leant phone to look at a picture of BTS' Jimin, which was something I often did to make me feel like I was with my Jiminie in a way. When I heard no reply, I looked over to my twin. Her eyes locked onto mine as if they were trying to tell me something profound. "No. Please tell me Isla's not in love with me." Esther remained silent, and from the way she worried her lower lip, I knew I had hit the nail on the head. "Fuck. But what about Manuel? She's got a boyfriend."

"Nell, Manuel is actually Manuela... a female," she sighed. "Isla has been gay the whole time we've known her. She never thought anyone would accept her, so she always changed her girlfriends' names to masculine ones. Or she used a beard to throw us off. Plus, she and Manuela broke up not long after you disappeared."

I was hurt, shocked and heartbroken hearing this. I couldn't believe that Isla thought she had to stay in the closet, especially around Esther and me! Isla, being our friend for so many years, knew Aiden and Christof well and was even invited to their wedding. While I wasn't angry that my friend felt she couldn't talk to me, I did sympathise with her for feeling that she had no other way to turn but towards lying and deceit. As soon as that thought popped into my head, I realised that I was doing the same thing by not telling the whole truth. I was justifying my lies as a way to protect myself, much like Isla had done, but that didn't make it right.

"I need to tell Mum, Dad, Aiden and Caleb the truth," I whispered, nervous at the thought of how they would react.

"Huh, where did that come from? And why not Christof?"

"He figured out I was not telling the truth, so he confronted me about it," I said. Turning on the couch to become more comfortable, I filled Esther in on my conversation with our brother-in-law. "Hearing about how Isla felt like she couldn't tell us the truth and thus resorted to lying, I realised that I'm doing it to our friends and family. I know they're for different reasons but at the base of it all, Isla's and my lies are the same. They're protection to keep our hearts safe." I could see Esther mulling over my words. "Bubbles, if in a fortnight I find myself back with my Jiminie, I don't want Mum, Dad and Aiden questioning if they did something to drive me away. I want them to know that if I do go back, it's because my heart led me there."

"I think that's a good idea. What about the girls? Will you tell them?"

I had to think carefully about my response—I felt unsure about how to reply. My mind raced as I searched for the right words to explain my thoughts. When I looked deep into my heart and envisioned my friends, I did not see the women I'd just dined with. A tear streaked down my cheek at the thought. I wasn't sad about where Kylie, Regina, and Isla stood in my life, but I missed Seokjin, Soon-Bok, Yoongi, Ari, and the rest of my created family from the other universe. I felt more like myself with them, and I loved that version of Nell.

It hurt for a moment that none of my friends here were in that image, and it made me realise that I was no longer on the same path I was before. I knew now that I had outgrown my friends. As sad as that was, the love I felt whenever I pictured my created family back in the Great Kingdom of Korea was so immense that I knew I'd be okay. With them, I would never be lonely.