"Seriously, how can you still be hungover?" Aiden asked as I wandered into his kitchen in search of coffee. I had been staying here the past couple of nights since Esther's one-bedroom place was too tiny for a guest. "We didn't hit the plonk hard enough to get munted, yet here you are still looking rooted."

After lunch at my parents' place on Saturday, we'd spent the afternoon and evening celebrating my belated birthday. Since they had already given Esther a party a fortnight ago, Mum insisted that it should be for me only—for my return and my birthday. Yesterday had been a complete write-off. My hangover kicked my bum something shocking, so I had done nothing but rest. Caleb was thrilled since we partook in a long Marvel movie marathon that included baked snacks.

"I'm not used to drinking booze anymore," I answered, sighing happily as the first sip of coffee warmed my throat. "Jim— My boyfriend, Jim, and I didn't have much to drink while we were sailing." I had managed to catch myself and not say Jimin's name, nor the real reason why I hadn't been drinking in the other universe. Since we were 'trying' for a baby, Jimin and I had decided that no alcohol would pass my lips even though we both knew alcohol would be 100% safe for me to have.

"So, you're out of practice? Not like you drank as much as Esther or me anyway," my brother said with a grin, moving around the kitchen to prepare Caleb's school lunch. "You're still okay for dropping Caleb off on your way?" I nodded, humming in affirmation with a mouthful of my beloved caffeinated beverage. "Thanks. It is good to have you back, Nell. I'm not meaning about how you're here to help out with Caleb's school runs when his father and I get called into meetings. What I'm trying to say is that I missed you." Everyone referred to Aiden as 'Dad' around Caleb, while Christof was 'Father' or 'Vater'—father in his native German tongue.

"I missed you too, Ads, and it's good to be home." I watched my nephew rush into the kitchen and grab one of the pieces of toast off the plate set aside for him. Caleb was very much like his father where neither wanted to wake up in the mornings. "Anyway... you don't need to thank me for taking this darling little angel to school," I cooed, giggling at my nephew's cheeks. He had a habit of eating toast from the middle, so his face was covered in vegemite. "It will be good to have some company in the car. My GP appointment isn't until 10am anyway, so there's no worries on my end. If you need me for anything, call the number I gave you last night."

I was lucky that my twin was the type of person who upgraded her phone and tablet each year. Esther had two spare devices for me to use since I had left mine back in Jimin's universe. We'd picked up a couple of prepaid SIM cards for them at a servo on our way to our parent's place.

After a quick bite to eat, I bundled Caleb into my car, which had been brought over yesterday by Dad. I drove last night when Aiden and I picked up takeout; it felt like I was getting back into the swing of life here. It was only four months that I had not been driving, so my skills were all still there. It was more getting used again to the hustle and bustle of motor vehicles, which went much faster than a horse and carriage.

When we arrived at Caleb's high school, I promised him that I would be back at the school gates to pick him up. I watched to make sure he made it into the school grounds, and I smiled as he ran towards his friends. Watching my nephew, my mind was blown thinking about how the school year would be finishing in less than a month, and that he'd be entering year 8 in January. When I was in school, year 8 was my first year of high school. Even though schools in Queensland moved year 7 into high school in 2015 as a way to bring our state more in line with New South Wales and Victoria, it was confusing as hell.

I had about 90 minutes to kill before my appointment, so I headed to the beach instead of going back to Aiden's place. The Sunshine Coast was famous for its beaches. With soft white sand and a clear blue ocean, it wasn't hard to see why visitors flocked in droves. The beach that I pulled up in front of, Cotton Tree Beach, was one of my favourites. Sitting on the bench overlooking the ocean, it kind of felt like I'd never left—except for the pain of longing I felt whenever I thought of my Jiminie. I tried to distract myself by focussing on the vista in front of me. Under the cloudless sky, the ocean looked so pristine; the water blue and crystal clear where it met the Maroochy River. The water was calm enough that a few paddle boarders were gliding across the surface.

As I sat and took in the view around me, I wondered what my Jiminie would think about this if he saw it. At first, he'd be freaked out by everything he saw; although, I knew it wouldn't take long for him to be mesmerised seeing all the fast and modern vehicles on the road. I could picture his wide smile, which I loved. His cheeks would squish his eyes as he watched the little children playing in the shallow water to my left.

I missed him more than I could comprehend. I missed spending time in his presence, as well as being wrapped in his embrace—whether in or out of clothes. In my short four months with the man, Jimin had become my best friend, my lover and my confidant. Without him, I was like a tree that had been uprooted. There was a possibility I could be resilient and put down new roots but without the proper care, I would wither and die. He was the one who took care of my physical, mental and emotional health.

꧁♥💜♥꧂

The gravity of the appointment weighed heavily on me as I sat in my GP's waiting room. I hated going to the doctor since I'd been given bad news in the past. I hoped that today, when I'd see if there had been any physiological effects of my transversing between universes, that I would receive positive news. I also wanted to pick my doctor's brains to see if anything could be done to increase my non-existent chances of falling pregnant. I knew from my googling that there might not be anything that could be done to help a woman without a uterus conceive a baby safely. I figured, though, that there was no harm in asking my doctor seeing as I didn't trust Dr Google.

"Elenor?"

Upon hearing my name called, I followed my doctor into her office and took a seat in one of the chairs that were placed near her desk. Dr Charlotte Bailey had been my family's General Practitioner for as long as I could remember. As a woman in her mid-60s Dr Charlie—as she had always insisted my family call her—felt more like a surrogate aunt than one of those detached doctors who only see their patients as numbers.

"It's good to see you again, Nell," she said, taking a seat at her desk. "I was really worried when your mother told me you were missing. And I'm sorry for your loss. Betty was an incredible woman and she'll be missed."

I made small talk for a couple of minutes with Dr Charlie about what had happened over the past few months. I made sure to stick to the cover story that I'd told my family and didn't tell her Jimin's name when he came up. She had some questions about my head injury, and I answered them as best as I could. Judging by how Dr Charlie transitioned into asking what had brought me in today, I figured that she believed everything I said.

"There's two reasons for my visit," I vocalised, clasping my fingers tight as I took a deep breath. "I need to have my yearly check-up since I wasn't here in September for it. I also need to pick your brain about something."

Dr Charlie chuckled as she moved across the small room to grab different pieces of equipment. "How about we do the check-up first, then you can pick away. Though I better warn you, my brain isn't as young as it used to be." She walked back to me and began her examination.

The annual checkups had been something I did since my hysterectomy. When I had first been diagnosed and sent for testing, I had been so nervous and embarrassed to have people looking at my vagina. Now, it was something I was used to. One thing I did appreciate about Dr Charlie, though, was how she distracted my attention away from what she was doing by talking about her family.

"I took my three youngest grandchildren to The Wiggles' concert yesterday with my husband. The rugrats had been begging for us to take them, and my hubby had always stood strong in his resolve. Turns out the kiddos are more like him than me, so they played dirty to get what they wanted. Let's just say that there's only so many times you can listen to Fruit Salad before you go insane."

I nodded my head in understanding, stifling my giggles as she listened to my lungs. I knew exactly how she felt because Caleb had been the same when he was younger. My nephew's favourite was Rock-A-Bye Your Bear, especially when we did the dance that went along with it.

For the next few minutes, I'd been poked and prodded, and every inch of my skin was checked for possible skin cancers. Since melanoma was prevalent on my mum's side of the family, coupled with my very fair skin and freckles, I was consistent in having my annual skin check.

"Everything is looking good, though I do want to do a blood test to check your levels," Dr Charlie said as she returned to her computer and typed in her notes. "There have been no changes to those moles on your back. Though if you are still worried about them, I can remove them for you."

I had a cluster of five moles on my back that I had been getting checked for the past few years. Two years ago, there had been slight changes to two of them in terms of their size but so far there'd been no indication that they were cancerous.

"Yeah, I think I'd prefer to remove them. That way I don't have to worry about them."

"Sure thing," she replied while she brought up her appointment calendar. "I can do it in a fortnight, on the 13th. Does that work with you?" Upon my confirmation, Dr Charlie set up the appointment for the mole removals. "Now, what was the other thing you wanted to see me for?"

My heart began to race as soon as she finished speaking. For such a simple question, it was heavily loaded; my love, life and future hung in the balance of her answer. Anxiety crept up and Dr Charlie must've seen it in my face. She came over and took a seat in the chair beside me. I breathed out when I felt her hand clasp onto mine, the strength gentle yet it gave me the strength I needed.

"I know this thing with my boyfriend is still new. I mean, we've only been together for a bit over three months but I feel like we were meant to be." I looked up and saw that Dr Charlie was listening, a soft smile gracing her thin lips. "He's different to every other man I've been with. You know I don't open my heart to anyone. He not only claimed my heart but gave his to me, too. For the first time since Nate, I can see a future with him—a future we would both like to see biological kids in."

My doctor's smile dropped a fraction as she cottoned on to where I was going. "And you want to know if that's something you'll be able to experience?" I nodded, biting my lower lip as my fingers fidgeted with the hem of my denim skirt. "I wish I could say that there was a way where you'd be able to conceive and carry a baby. You know that I've always been a straight shooter with you, Nell. 

"Unfortunately, the only answer I have is not the one you want to hear. It is both very unlikely and also very dangerous, for you to get pregnant," she continued, her tone solemn yet soft. "If—and I mean this with a very, very low likelihood of happening—if you were to fall pregnant, because you don't have a uterus, it would end in one of two ways. It would either be an ectopic pregnancy or the embryo would attach against something it shouldn't. Either way, the pregnancy would need to be terminated."

My heart fell into my stomach. Even though I had been expecting Dr Charlie to tell me that being a biological mother was not in my cards, I had hoped that there might have been a chance.

"I'm not going to lie and say it's okay because it bloody hurts to hear that," I murmured, wiping my lower waterline as I felt unshed tears gathering. "Are there any options that would allow me to get pregnant? I've heard about uterus transplants being done. Is that something that could happen in the next few weeks?"

I was met with silence and as I looked up at the doctor, I saw her mouth open in shock. "I would be remiss if I didn't ask this," she said after a few seconds, "Your new boyfriend, is he forcing you to get pregnant? He's not going to get abusive towards you if you are unable to have his baby, is he?"

I shook my head. There was no way Jimin would turn abusive towards me. However, I also knew where Dr Charlie was coming from because if I heard someone else was in my position, I would think the same as her. "Jim is the sweetest man I've ever met. When I told him that I couldn't have children, he didn't leave me like the others did in the past. In fact, I ran away from him because I was scared history would repeat itself. But Jim ran after me; it was him who convinced me that we would be okay.

"I haven't told my family yet, except for Esther. Jim and I are thinking about living together. Since he can't move because of his job, I would be the one moving to another country in a few weeks. I wanted to know if there were any options available here that could allow me to get pregnant because I don't know what the health care is like in his country." By this stage, tears were streaming down my face. Talking about how I might potentially be moving to Jimin's universe, it felt real seeing as how much I would be leaving behind.

Dr Charlie handed me a tissue from the box on her desk. She was sympathetic when she told me that she wished there was more she could do to help 'Jim' and I have children of our own. My doctor said that the only way to have a baby that had both of our genes was to use a surrogate who would be implanted with a fertilised embryo from both Jimin and me.

When I left the doctor's surgery, I had more questions than I'd gone in with. I was confused about what to do, anxious about making the wrong decision, lonely for being away from Jimin now for four days with no way to talk to the man I adored more than anything, and frustrated over our situation. All I wanted to do was to curl up into a ball—preferably in Jimin's arms as he kissed away my doubts and fears—and get Future Nell to figure everything out.

'I wish there was a sign to tell me what I should do.'

At the same moment that thought popped into my head, the phone I was leant by my sister chimed. I looked at the screen and a wave of happiness crashed through me. Mum's message told me that we would all be gathering for dinner tomorrow night at our favourite Korean restaurant. It might have been only four days since I'd been home, but I missed the food I ate in Jimin's Korea. We might be separated by universes, but being able to eat the same food as him made me feel a bit more connected to him than I'd felt this morning.