Step 10: Isolation

"A soul among the faithful is a soul protected. Break their bonds subtly. Make them feel different, distant. If they no longer fit into their old world, they will turn to the only one who understands them."

-Excerpt from The Infernal Guidebook: The Art of Unraveling a Soul

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Despite all the uncertainty lingering in the background, I've managed to tuck my worries into a tightly sealed compartment in my mind. Out of sight, out of mind, right? At least today feels normal again, the kind of normal where the biggest decision I need to make is what pizza topping to get, not whether or not to sever a supernatural mind-binding tie.

I head to the pizza place and spot Olivia and Cam already at a table, waving me over. Olivia's got a pitcher of soda in front of her, while Cam's halfway through a slice of pepperoni, already deep into some dramatic retelling of a story.

"Nadia!" Cam grins, sliding a plate toward me. "We ordered a half-and-half, veggie on one side, meat lover's on the other. Hope that's good?"

"Of course!" I say sitting down and taking a bite out of a veggie slice with white sauce, "Oooh, is this alfredo sauce?" I ask.

"Something like that I think. It's good right?" Olivia says.

"Woulda been better at my place if I hadn't been betrayed," Cam grumbles, though happily snatching a second slice.

I laugh, chewing thoughtfully. As the night goes on I continue to try to ignore the approaching threats building in the background, and the tie, Azrael, everything. It's a bit easier to handle with I'm around normalcy, I suppose.

"Hey, by the way, you doing okay? You seem a little, I don't know, distracted," Olivia asks.

My heart skips a beat since I thought I was still acting normally. "Yeah, I'm fine, I have a big project going on at work, so that's been taking over my mind 100% of the time. Sorry! I didn't mean to bring work to the dinner table," I laugh it off.

"No worries," she grins, reaching for another slice. "We get it. But if you need us, we're here for more than just pizza nights."

I give them both a smile, hoping it looks convincing enough to drop the topic. Sure, I'm back to taking the long road when it comes to opening myself up, but that's normal for me, so I shouldn't feel too bad about it, right? It's not like I can tell them I'm being targeted by demons anyway.

I lock my worries back into that mental compartment and the conversation flows easily now. I let myself enjoy the shield company brings me tonight.

After we're done eating, I wave as we head outside and Olivia and Cam set off in the opposite direction, but as I'm walking to the subway, a voice comes from somewhere behind me, smooth and casual, like everything's normal. "Nice night."

I come to a stop. "You following me now?"

There's a pause, then the sound of footsteps as Azrael closes the distance between us. "Told you I'd be around to make sure the others aren't," he says, now beside me with his hands casually stuffed in his jacket pockets. "You seemed happy back there," he adds, nodding toward the pizza place.

"Yeah, well, I was."

"They'll go after that. The good moments, the people who make you feel safe. It's where they like to start," he warns.

I sigh, feeling that heaviness creep back in. "You're still on their side, right?"

Azrael closes his eyes for a second too long before he answers. "I told you, it's not that simple anymore, but I'm not answering to them."

"So are my friends in danger if I keep talking to them?" I ask.

"Not right away, but eventually they'll see your friends as vulnerabilities, weak spots they can use to get to you. That's how they work. They pick at the parts of your life that make you feel safe until those are the things that unravel you," he says quietly. The words hit me like a punch to the chest, but I can tell he's frustrated, maybe even angry, but not at me.

I swallow hard and take a step back, "So, what do I do? Ignore them? Pretend I'm fine and always keep everyone at arm's length forever?" I hate how my voice wavers slightly.

Azrael shakes his head. "They'd want you to do that. Isolation makes the spiral worse, but staying close means they'll be on the radar too." He looks at me with an intensity that makes my skin prickle. "It's a risk either way."

I'm stuck wanting to trust him, yet knowing demons are the one entity that I've been drilled my whole life to never trust.

"Back at Starbucks a couple weeks ago, I asked what you would do with all the intel you got on me. You said that your plan was to isolate me and get me to believe you're the only one who could understand me, before brushing it off as a joke. I still can't tell if I should trust you, since the more trust I hypothetically give you, the more that old goal of yours still comes true," I tell him.

Azrael flinches, actually flinches as if my words weren't originally his. "You're right," he admits bitterly, "That was the plan. Get inside your head, make you question the people around you, isolate you. It's the oldest trick there is, and I was good at it. You're right to question it. You should," he gives a hollow smile, "Trust is dangerous."

I feel a lump forming in my throat, but I keep my expression guarded. I can't tell if that last confession makes him more trustworthy, or more dangerous. The lines between enemy and ally, predator and protector keep blurring further, and I realize just how dangerous that ambiguity really is.

"Okay. Thanks for telling me, but I'm not going to isolate myself from my friends," I finally say.

"Good," he says quietly, "but that just means they're going to push harder now," he warns. "The fact that you're choosing to stay connected? That means you're not just resisting for yourself, you're doing it for them too."

I nod, feeling the weight of it all press down on me again, but at the same time, I refuse to let these things, whatever they are, dictate who I am.

"I'll still be around. I know you don't fully trust me, and I don't blame you, but I'll make sure nothing gets too close." He hesitates, almost like he wants to say more, but then disappears into the shadows of the street, just like that. I blink a couple times at the vanishing act, but sigh and walk home.

Unlocking my door, all my books, my favorite mug, and my laptop sitting on the table are still where I last left them. Things are still normal.

My phone buzzes with a message from my group chat with Olivia and Cam.

"We're going to MY spot next. Let me know when you're free." Cam texts.

I smile.

"Any time next week!" I text back.

I set my phone down and glance at my laptop. There's still a unicorn story waiting to be finished, my own world where I control the chaos, and where happy endings are guaranteed. I hesitate at first, wondering if I have the energy to dive into that world tonight, but then my phone buzzes again.

"Also there's a new indie film that made it to theaters! I already saw it at a film festival last year but now I wanna bring you guys" Olivia texts.

Another text from Cam comes in. He gives a thumbs up to Olivia's message and--

"Welcome to the world of Olivia dragging us places"

I let out a soft laugh and text back.

"Absolutely. I'm down for both!" followed by a heart emoji.

Setting my phone aside, I open my laptop to see my Microsoft Word document staring back at me. I take a deep breath and start typing, pushing past the swirling thoughts and letting the words flow.

Because if there's one thing I know, it's that my story isn't over yet.

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