[This is a very MATURE/EXPLICIT/18+ chapter - If you want more of these, VOTE and COMMENT. I really don't do it if I see people don't care for them]

(Leo's Point Of View)

I hugged myself as I watched the last car disappear. Nicole, Priscella and Jesse had kindly stayed with me for a while even though they didn't need to. Still, it was awful nice of them to keep me company while I had a mini panic attack.

Derek's whereabouts was a mystery. According to the phone call, he had been released. But it wasn't clear why he didn't say anything else. And even then, did he know he was being released? If he did, why didn't he tell me? What was going on?

Thinking about all the horrible things that could be happening didn't help me stay calm. Then again, staying calm was the least of my worries. This was Derek. From all the years I've known him, he was anything but predictable. Anything could be happening. And I feared the worst.

I heard footsteps behind me as I leaned into the railing, staring down from Derek's balcony.

"Hey," Dakota said as he closed the glass door behind him.

"Hey," I responded.

"I think I'm gonna go. I just wanted to thank you for the food and for talking to me," he said as he played with the string from his jacket. Why did he even have one? It was hot as hell.

"No problem," I responded, once again my tone dry and bored. It wasn't because of him, I just had things on my mind and didn't have the energy to force a happy and kind tone.

"I'm gonna stay at a motel for tonight. I don't like driving when I feel sleepy. If you need anything, you have my number now."

"Thanks, Dakota," I said, looking back at him as he smiled. His smile almost knocked me off the balcony. Too many cute boys in my life, I need to eradicate them all.

"He'll be home soon, I'm sure of it," he said as he went back inside the apartment and held the door open, waiting for my response.

"Yeah. I'll tell him to call you when he does."

"Thanks."

For heaven's sake just leave already and stop burning awkwardness into my skin!

"Byeeeee," I said, this time adding a little comical voice to relieve the weird tension between us.

Finally, he was gone. I heard the front door close and I sighed contently as I went back to having my Lana Del Rey moment, staring out at the parking lot, counting every car I saw drive by and hoping one of them would turn my way.

Like I told him during our amazing pizza, I didn't have anything against him even though I acted like I did. It was hard explaining to people who didn't know me that I was just me. And if you didn't personally know me, then it would be very hard to read me. Like Derek, my personality was unpredictable. Just because I gave you the eye, didn't mean I hated you, it could mean I was imagining what it would be like to be a man with the head of a horse and I was just trying to concentrate really hard on it.

Dakota was nobody to me. He wasn't a friend, he wasn't an enemy either. If he suddenly started coming into my life because he and Derek were friends, I'd be okay with it and accept him like I did with all of Derek's friends.

BUT it didn't mean I also had to hold back my feelings. If I felt jealous, I was going to show it unapologetically. And it also didn't mean I was a hypocrite, so to all those little voices in my head telling me to drown in expired milk, you first, bitch.

This was my first real time experiencing such emotions. Derek and I have only been with each other since we were teens. There was so much of the world I have yet experienced because of it. That included the gross, ugly, disgusting jealousy that came from staring back at the guy your boyfriend once fucked. And he was gorgeous.

I might have to fuck him, too.

"Can I have more Cheetos?" I heard Sasha's muffled voice behind the glass screen.

And I might have to fuck up Sasha, I thought.

"No!"

"Whatever. You're just mad because Dakota is you but with a better hole and a better face."

My jaw dropped as I turned my head around like a creepy doll.

"I am banning Cheetos from this house!" I said sternly.

"Apartment," he corrected.

I screamed.

He screamed.

–  Here is Squishy's cousin "Long boi" helping you move to the next scene

With a towel wrapped around my wet hair, I cried in front of the TV as I watched a marathon of Keeping Up With The Kardashians. I dabbed my tears with a greasy pizza napkin and cried more from the burn. Kourtney deserved better! Even though I'd let Scott turn me inside out, he wasn't good for her! She was an angel who just wanted to be loved and respected.

Kourtney, you know what? I thought as I grabbed the towel and tossed it on the floor. We should both hate men. Yeah, I hate men now. Men are stinking useless lying secretive good for no– I heard keys shuffle and the front door opened, in walking Derek motherfucking Morrigan.

I gasped, jumping up from the couch and freezing in place. Derek for sure had been crying at some point; his eyes were semi red and I could tell he was trying to hide it by avoiding my eyes. For the most part, it was working, but not because he was avoiding my eyes–he was holding flowers.

If these flowers were for Sasha I was going to beat someone up.

He moved towards me, dropping the flowers on the little table next to the couch and immediately wrapped his arms around me. I was so baffled that for the first time in a long time, I sealed my lips shut. His arms squeezed me, his face burying into my neck, making me shiver.

He was crying now.

"Derek," I breathed, breaking my self-promise to shut up. "You're squeezing too hard, I'm fragile like a McDonald's french fry."

"I love you," he said. "I love you so much."

"Derek," I said, my hands going around to rub his back, "I love you, too."

He was still hugging hard, even cracked my back a little, it was kind of relaxing so I didn't complain further. He was holding most of my weight and I was okay with it. Still, I wondered what happened to make him act like this.

We let each other go after some time and before I could look at his face, he kissed my lips and didn't pull back. He was being very affectionate and I was worried that Sasha was going to walk into something he didn't need to see. He was my baby and I needed to keep him innocent for as long as possible.

Derek pushed me back and I slowly fell back on the couch, grabbing on to everything so that I wouldn't fall on my ass, all while keeping our lips locked. I grabbed all of Derek when he mounted over me, his arms holding him up over me.

It had been a good while since we've been this physical and I missed it like Pokimane misses her Ults.

The panting between kisses got heavier and more desperate. His hand traced down my body, reaching between my legs and grabbing a full fist of Leo through my shorts. I choked loudly as he pulled and that was my wake up call to stop this before we embarrassed ourselves.

As much as I loved being kissed and groped by a bearded Derek, something told me to speak up.

"Derek, stop," I told him, pushing his chest lightly.

He sighed in obvious frustration and laid back against the opposite side of the couch as he breathed heavily.

"Sorry if I got carried away," he said, wiping his eyes on the back of his hand.

"No, it's not that. Sasha is here, remember?"

"I remember."

"Oh."

"Are you going to tell me what happened?" I asked, completely flipping the subject. I had him trapped, this was my chance.

He looked so vulnerable and innocent in this moment, almost childlike. Something bothered him, something beyond my comprehension. All I could do was crawl next to him, unable to stand another second apart from him, and reach out to hug him.

"I don't think I was supposed to be let out," he said. "I don't think they were going to let me out for a while longer."

"Why did they let you go?"

"I think my grandma had something to do with it."

"Grandma?" His only grandma that I knew of passed away a few years ago, the other one he never talked about.

"My mom's mom," he said.

"I thought you didn't know her."

"I don't know," he said with certainty. "She came out of nowhere, picked me up and took me to her home. She told me things I didn't know about and I couldn't take all the information, so I left. She wants to be back in my life, I think."

"Things about your mom?" He nodded and I sighed. "Bad things?"

"I don't want to talk about it."

"Okay, you don't have to," I said, sighing.

He turned his head to look at me. "I'll tell you later, I promise. I just got back and I haven't been a free man for a month. I missed everything, I missed you, God, I missed you so much." I grinned at that, feeling shy all of the sudden and hiding my face in my hands. "And again, sorry about grabbing your dick, I've also been very horny."

"I also missed you, a lot."

"Any food? I'm starving," he said, getting up from the couch.

"There's pizza and Chinese food," I replied, staring at him, eyeing his pajama pants that he was wearing. He had a bulge going on that I couldn't ignore. I hope he didn't have one when he met his grandma.

He went into the kitchen and came back with a plate of pizza and Chinese food and a single egg roll. He plopped next to me and laid the plate on his boner and watched the Tv. I felt bad that he had to watch the Kardashians, because I wasn't going to change the channel. No amount of side looks and puppy dog eyes would make me betray my sisters from another mister.

Derek cleared his throat as he chewed an absurd amount of food. "If you don't switch the channel I'm not blowing you tonight."

"First of all, you're the horny one," I stated, waving my finger around. "So don't act like I asked for anything."

He shrugged and went back to eating. "Okay.

I scoffed, feeling my fragile pride shattering. He was the one that wanted me. How dare him try to flip it as if it was something I asked or even begged for.

"Oh, oops," I said nonchalantly as I changed the channel accidentally. "My finger slipped."

He laughed without looking at me and I wanted to use him as a punching bag. How dare him.

"How's school?" he asked.

"Um, it's fine," I responded, confused at why he even ca–he was going to ask, wasn't he?

"Did you talk to Nathan?"

"Oh my god."

"Did you?"

"Yes, Derek."

"How did that go?"

"Fabulous," I muttered.

"Are you guys still friends?"

"Yes."

How did it go from him hating Nathan to wanting us to fix things? Where was the Derek that wanted to rip his head off with his mouth? He was serious about being a better boyfriend, wasn't he? From the moment he told me that, I've seen the change in him. I really mean a lot to him.

"Good, I'm glad."

"Derek, I met Dakota," I said, hoping this was my ticket out of this conversation.

He dropped the egg roll but caught it mid air. He almost choked on his food but he swallowed everything (like he was going to tonight) before he spoke. "What?"

"I met Dakota," I said, slower.

He clicked his tongue, rolling his eyes. "I heard what you said, I mean . . . what?"

"Did you give him your address?" I asked.

"Yeah. So he was here?"

"Derek," I said, pulling out my serious voice, "I do believe our relationship is going to change, for the better, of course, so I'm going to start that by saying I'm . . . worried."

He squinted his blue eyes, confusion written on his face. "Why are you worried?"

"Dakota lives very close to me," I said. "He came all the way from there to check why you haven't answered his text messages. That's a little weird, in my honest opinion. And I don't think he was expecting your ex to be here."

"Oh."

"Oh?"

"I didn't tell anyone I was going to be away," he replied. "And I didn't think it was going to be a whole month. He was probably worried, I don't know. And before you ask, I told him where I lived because we planned to hang out. I got to see where he lived, even meet some of his friends, and he wanted to do the same with where I lived."

"Derek . . ."

He sighed and slouched back on the couch, looking completely done.

"Leo, I'm not going to cheat on you," he said, groaning.

I made a face. "I didn't say that . . . I wasn't even thinking that . . ."

"Then what? Why are you acting so suspicious of him?"

"You guys had sex, you spent time together during an emotional time for you, and he came looking for you because you were ignoring his text messages. Not to mention, he thought you were still single. Maybe . . . I'm worried that he likes you."

"I don't think he likes me, but if he did, why would that make you worried?" he said. "Dakota is a good guy. He doesn't have many guy friends because they're all transphobic idiots and I'm one of the first that doesn't care. I think if I were in his shoes, I'd do anything to keep that friendship."

Dakota did seem like a nice person, but he still liked Derek, I was sure of it. Who wouldn't like Derek? Especially after sleeping with him. Catching feelings was as easy as catching these hands. I wanted to give Dakota the benefit of the doubt, but I couldn't comprehend why someone would drive all the way up here just because their text messages were being ignored? As if he didn't understand what being ghosted meant.

With all things considered, they only knew each other for a few days, so the possibility of a gay man ghosting another gay man after sleeping together was too real in this community. My friends did it all the time because they were assholes and only wanted sex. But then again, Derek was different than most gay men and I truly didn't know what happened between them. I wasn't there to know the things they talked about–no doubt he talked a lot about me, since Dakota knew who I was by name.

"Alright, but I'm watching him and if he tries anything I'm going to beat him up."

He dropped his plate of food on the coffee table and inched closer to me, pulling my hand towards him. All of the sudden I got nervous like a school girl seeing her crush. He planted a soft kiss on my lips and got up.

"I love you, don't worry about a single thing, okay?"

"Sure."

"I'm gonna take a shower, I'll be back."

While he showered, I went into his bedroom. I heard him and Sasha talking for a bit and it warmed my heart how happy Sasha had reacted seeing him. Sasha was going to be staying in the living room, so I had to go into the closet to grab some blankets and a pillow to give to him.

"Do you know how to work a pull out couch?" I asked him.

"No."

"Okay, come," I said, walking out of Derek's room and dragging Sasha along. "Just remove the cushions from the couch and literally pull the bed out. It's easy."

"Cool," he said after I demonstrated how.

"You okay?" I asked, stepping back as I dragged the coffee table away.

"It's just nice having people around that actually like you," he said.

That made me touch my heart sadly. "Aw, Sasha. We do like you, very much."

"When Derek is inside you, does he pull out?"

I should have known he was going to ruin the sentimental moment.

"Um . . . I can't . . . get pregnant? He doesn't need to." He threw the blankets and pillow on top of his new bed, mumbling words to himself. "Why are you asking this?"

"When we were in the hospital, we talked about everything. It's really boring in there, so sex came up and we shared our experiences. He said you were the only one pretty much, besides that trans dude."

"Dakota," I corrected.

"Yes, Dakota. The one who is more attractive than you."

"Unneeded, but go on," I muttered.

"What? That's it. I don't know how gay sex works."

"It's not that hard, Sasha."

"So how does it feel knowing you're not the only one anymore?" he asked, staring at me as he waited for an answer.

I glared at him. "What are you doing?"

"I'm asking the real questions," he said, sitting down on the bed. "You're not the only one Derek has had sex with anymore, how does that feel? Sting a little? Yeah, I bet."

"Sounds like you're the one who's jealous."

His jaw dropped. "Okay, that was kind of good, I sound like a jealous girlfriend."

I flipped my invisible hair back. "You do."

"Don't worry, I asked him the same thing when he mentioned you had sex with a random dude."

That caught my full attention. "What did he say?"

"He was mad and jealous."

That wasn't new.

"Does he hate me for it?" I asked, keeping my voice low in case he heard through the walls.

He shook his head. "No, he loves you."

"I think we're just too smart to be pissed at each other. It happened while we were technically single, so neither of us can really be mad at each other."

Sasha sighed. "I don't know what being in a relationship feels like. I'm too weird and unstable for one. And sex really isn't the same, and you can't date your cousin, so."

"Wait, what?"

"Derek is out of the shower, go get your blowjob, buddy," he said, slapping my ass.

I raised my fist at him and he yelped, rolling to the other side of the bed where I couldn't reach.

"It's not my apartment but if you keep spying on conversations I'm kicking you out," I said.

"I'd like to see you try, bitch."

I gasped loudly, losing my shit completely. Who the hell raised this child?! Why was he the most savage person I'd ever met? How was he worse than me? I tried to run around the bed but he was faster than me.

"You need to watch your mouth when you speak to your mother!"

"You're not my mother and you never will be."

"Guys?" Derek called out when he left the bathroom and stopped to watch us.

"Not now, Derek. I'm trying to beat our son," I said.

"Well, Daddy Derek needs you, so say goodnight to our son and come back to our room," he said in a tone that I couldn't defy.

Nervously, I marched my ass straight into Derek's room, leaving Sasha untouched, for now, and closed the door behind me. Derek was only in a towel, looking through his drawers. I stared hard at his back and drooled a little. The last time we were . . . close, was in that dark tent and honestly, never again. Even going outside to finish the job against trees was not all that pleasant. That was the last time we did anything, and even before that we never had sex because of everything that happened.

I walked up behind him and hugged him, pressing my groin against his butt. I reached around his body and felt down his abs until the towel stopped me.

"Do you want to fuck me?" I asked quietly as I grabbed his dick through the towel.

He sighed. "I do, I really do, but I don't have the energy." He turned around and cupped my face, pulling me to his lips, kissing and swallowing my taste. "I just want to touch you tonight, nothing else."

"Whatever you want," I said.

Derek turned off the lights, but walked to the lamp he had in a corner with five different settings and turned the lowest one on. It was still dark with the lowest setting, but gave enough light that we could still see each other.

"I can never say it enough–I missed you," he said, kissing my cheek, pushing me back till my legs hit the bed. He lifted my shirt over my head and tossed it aside. "I miss driving you crazy. I miss being the reason you got hard. I miss being the one making you cum."

His words sent shivers down my body like never before. He was being highly vocal and that was rare for him, but it was working because I could feel myself getting painfully hard within seconds.

"I-I miss all of that, too."

"Shh, don't talk," he said.

"Okay." I covered my mouth instantly. "Shit, I talked. Oh, I talked again. I keep talking."

Leo, now is not a good time to be an idiot.

"I wish I could fuck you," he said as he grabbed my ass and squeezed hard. His dick was half hard and was teasingly rubbing against mine through my shorts. It was the last clothing I had on and I was getting impatient, but something told me Derek wanted to be in control of every moment. "I want to feel my dick in your hole. I want to feel you tighten around me. I want to see you arch your back when I push deeper."

Oh, Lorde. Did Derek even jerk off at the hospital? This Derek wasn't a new one, for sure, but it was a rare one that only appeared on special occasions. Like if Derek was a pokemon, this would be his shiny form.

Last few times he was like this, he was so horny he fucked me like seven times in one day. Against the kitchen counter, on the couch, in his car on the way to McDonalds, on the floor of his apartment–let's just say my hole wasn't the same for a while.

This was mostly the reason I could never top him, he was just too dominant and controlling, and I was okay with it because it turned me the hell on. But bruh, my poor hole couldn't handle that much action, he still had the biggest dick I'd ever seen on anyone alive or dead.

It was a miracle my hole still looked so damn good. I knew this because I always sent my friend hole pics, and they sent some back. It was good to have trusting friends that could provide you with honest reviews.

Not being able to talk was causing some real frustration. If I couldn't say what was on my mind, I'd start shaking and crying.

"Do you miss my dick?"

"Y-Yes," I stammered, shaking.

"You know what I miss?"

"No, what?"

"I miss your dick."

I gulped.

Derek hooked his fingers underneath the waistband of my shorts and pulled down till I was naked. He looked down at my erection and bit his lips, grabbing it and pulling gently. It was my turn to be vocal as his warm hand massaged my length. I closed my eyes as he attacked my neck with his mouth, leaving wet prints over my skin.

I fell on top of the bed with shaky knees, unable to stand anymore. I crawled all the way back until I hit the headboard. Derek followed me, leaving his towel on the floor and crawling over me until his hard dick was poking mine. We made out for a while, grinding rhythmically, moaning softly into each other's mouths. Then Derek moved down, spread my legs apart and went in.

My first response to having his mouth on my dick was a laugh. It was a laugh of pure terror, because I almost came. Derek was more talented in me when it came to bed actions, the only thing he couldn't take from me was being the best bottom. But when he wanted to suck my dick, he wanted it. He really went for it and didn't look back. He didn't care if it could make me explode in seconds because he'd finish with a sly smile on his face and a proud self-entitled "you're welcome".

The last time I ever measured myself said I was about seven inches and Derek had no problem taking it all down his throat. I wish I could say the same, but taking his would require medical attention after. So maybe he was cheating, maybe he wasn't better at sucking dick than me.

He bobbed his head, humming as he swirled his magical tongue around the length. I watched him with sleepy eyes, mouth parted in bliss, hands forming knuckles at my side. He spread my legs further, pushing them up as his mouth licked down to my balls. I bit my lips as he sucked them into his mouth, pulling, swirling his tongue around. He let them go with a loud Pop and went down to my hole, pressing his tongue and making me shudder.

"If you keep doing that, you're gonna have to fuck me," I said, breathing heavily.

He stopped and smirked, letting my legs rest a little. He stared back into my eyes, the smirk still on his face, and kissed my dick. He grabbed it with one hand and kissed the other side, watching me with lustful eyes. Then my dick received the slowest lick and I hissed.

It wasn't a lie that this was the best feeling ever, to see Derek so hot and sexy and sucking, but it was also painful and in some countries it could even pass as torture.

"Please," I begged.

The torture part was having to hold back. I was sensitive these days and if I fucked into his mouth, that would be the end of it. I wanted it to last, but at the same time I just wanted it to be over. My whole body was feeling tingly at this point.

"Do you want it?" he said.

"Yes," I cried out as he sucked the tip like a lollipop.

"You're so beautiful when you beg."

It was so easy for him to last longer when he had more opportunities to practice. I was always the one taking his dick, riding it into the sunset, sucking it, teasing it, he built up an immunity, basically, while I was stuck cumming to the simplest touch because I couldn't handle having such a hot boyfriend.

I looked away as I suddenly tensed up. My eyes landed on his nice ass and I imagined burying my dick in it–totally not helping my case.

"Derek, I really can't hold it anymore," I said.

"Then let go."

He tugged, twisting his hand up and down my length, trapping the tip with his mouth as I released. My brain stopped working as the inevitable drowsiness tore through my body with every pulse of ecstasy. Derek drained me, swallowing me whole and not stopping until every movement left me twitchy.

"Oumagad," I slurred, feeling my body sink into the bed.

Derek laughed and left the bed to get a towel, came back and cleaned me up.

"How was that?" he asked.

"Good," I responded weakly.

"Love you," he said, kissing my face.

"Wait, put your dick in my mouth, let me fini–"

"No, it's okay. Let's go to bed, I'm tired."

"Are you sure? You know I don't care."

"Tomorrow."

I giggled with my eyes closed, feeling exhausted. "Okay, tomorrow."

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[Message]: IT FEELS INCREDIBLE TO BE ABLE TO WRITE WHATEVER I WANT AGAIN. AHHHH!!!!! TIME FOR MY BOYS TO GIVE EACH OTHER BLOW JOBS EVERY PARAGRAPH! I'M FREAKING READY, LET'S GOOO!!! Lmao. K. I apologize for the delay, but this is why I took a while. I was preparing myself mentally to turn Step Brothers mature, since I couldn't handle the frustration that came with trying to make yourself PG just so that your story still has a chance to be in What's Hot lists and whatnot, but I really don't care about that anymore. I want to write what I want. If I write sexual things every chapter, then so be it. And apparently I can't even talk about drugs, suicide, or even say more than one bad word without it being mature, so it's been mature since the beginning. I hope you guys still support me with this change ): I know there's a few of you who don't like/care for the explicit chapters/scenes.