[finally I've updated! Get your votes and your comments ready cause we're going to serious town!]

(Derek's Point Of View)

I . . . was being released.

Don't get me wrong, I wasn't complaining. Life behind these walls had been dull and uneventful ever since Sasha got released. He and I became pretty close for the three weeks we got to know each other, but once he was gone . . . it was as if I became deaf. It was quiet. My new roommate had barely spoken a sentence to me and I couldn't befriend anybody else in here no matter how hard I tried.

The first week was tough on me, but after that I stopped wondering and asking when I was going to be released, and focused more on what I was going to have for dinner. But now after a month it was finally happening.

Last time I talked to Dr. Vestine was yesterday. Nothing had changed minus the dose of my medicine.

I waited on my bed with a brown bag full of my things. I counted the time in my head, waiting for a nurse to come get me and tell me it was time. No one showed up for the longest time. Or so it seemed that way. I zoned out, staring at the walls and listening to the sound of music playing down the hall.

When someone did show up, they had to call my name multiple times to snap me out of the zone. I blinked and rubbed my eyes, feeling overwhelmingly tired all of the sudden. The nurse helped me up and led me out of the room, down the halls and to the front desk, just outside the big doors that led to freedom.

"I'm gonna miss you a bunch!" said one of the nurses. "And we better not see you come back. Be good, okay?"

I nodded slowly.

When the doors opened, a man in black was standing just outside with his back facing me. I was so confused with the stranger that one of the nurses had to gently push me forward. I almost tripped and held my bag tightly as the stranger turned around. He was tall. So tall his head could touch the ceiling if he jumped.

"Derek Morrigan?" he said, his monster deep voice sending chills down my spine and waking me up a bit.

"Yeah?"

"Come with me," he said and started moving towards the elevators.

"Am I in trouble or something?" I asked.

The stranger didn't respond. It wasn't that he didn't hear me either because I was standing just behind him and there was no one else around. He chose to ignore me and not answer my question. Maybe I was in trouble. But what did I do? Could it be because of the drugs I took? He didn't look like a cop, more like . . . a bodyguard.

The elevator dinged and opened. I marched in after him and decided to look up at him as we descended floors. He was so tall my neck was hurting looking at him. If he wasn't going to tell me anything then I was going to make him feel uncomfortable.

Oh, God.

What if . . . What if he was with the FBI? Don't they look like that? All mysterious with their suits and everything.

Mentally, I sighed. I was being arrested. Why else was I being released so abruptly? I wasn't even making progress in this place. I had become increasingly worse. They had given me so much medication that I felt drugged all day long and just wanted to sleep most of the time.

"This way," he said when we exited the elevator and left the hospital building.

I followed him across the parking lot and found the fanciest car parked away from all the other cars and ambulances. Now I was even more confused. This was a fancy arrest for sure. I liked it.

"I'm ready to be arrested, sir," I told him as we approached the vehicle.

The man looked at me weird. "In you go," he said, opening the back door.

Happily, I climbed in and then it hit me, I was getting into a stranger's car with absolutely no knowledge of what the hell was going on. There was no way my brain was this loopy right now.

Before I could get out, the door was slammed shut.

"Hello, Derek," said a woman who was seated in front of me. This car was so expensive looking that even sitting on it made me feel like my bank was being drained. It had four seats that each had a million dollar look. And that was only the back.

"Who are you?"

"Don't you recognize me?" She smirked.

I closely examined her; she was an older woman, silver-blonde hair, wavy and shoulder length, blue eyes, wrinkly skin but a hint of plastic surgery that I wasn't going to point out because that was rude and I wasn't Leo.

"I don't recognize you, no."

"It's me, grandma."

As soon as the word hit me, tears formed but did not fall. I only recognized her when she said who she was. Memories of her when I was a child hit me, but they were not good ones. They were blurry, so my memory of her was limited, but I knew her nonetheless.

I was teary eyed because I was reminded of my mother. I was never okay when I thought about her and I never thought I'd be thinking about her in times like these. I missed her greatly. I missed her so much.

My grandma hadn't changed much from what I remembered. She was older, but still looked as youthful as she did all those years ago. I wondered what else was the same . . .

"Why am I here?" I asked, looking away as sickness took over and my loopy brain began to work its depressing magic.

"I'm here for you," she said.

"Here for me?"

"I know it's been years," she said all serious, "but I was informed of what happened. I know we're not close, we've never been really, but I was not aware of what you were going through."

I shook my head.

"Don't pretend you care. You didn't care when I was five years old, you don't care now."

"That's not true, Derek."

"Oh, really?" I said, sitting up and leaning forward. "I still remember the looks you gave me when I was a child. A child. My mother had to sit me down so many times and explain that my own grandmother wasn't going to be in our lives, because she chose that. She had lie to me when I asked her why you didn't like me. I still remember everything."

"Everything you remember was a lie," she said. "Derek, there were things happening that you couldn't have understood. You were young and even now I know that you don't know the whole truth. I wasn't in your life not because I chose it, but because it's what your mother chose herself."

"And now you're her for . . . for what exactly? To tell me things I didn't know as a child? What is that going to do now? Why are you here?"

Her eyes began to glisten as she studied my angry expressions. Something behind her blue eyes made me feel calmer, so I let my guard down a little. I didn't have the energy to have heated emotions towards a person that meant nothing for me. I wasn't going to waste the little energy I had on her. I wasn't going to waste anything on her.

"Your father told me what happened, Derek."

"Okay, and again I ask you, why are you here? Why do you care?"

"Because your mother didn't–" her voice cracked and she had to take a moment to breathe before she began again. "Your mother didn't die the way you've always known. She committed suicide."

I gazed into her eyes as if I was searching for a sign that I knew I wasn't going to find. When the first tear rolled down her cheek, I knew it wasn't a lie. I knew it wasn't a sick joke or a gimmick to try to talk me into thinking twice if I were to ever do something to hurt myself. This wasn't a set up by my father, this was real.

"W-Why are you telling me this?" I asked.

She looked me dead in the eyes and said, "Because my husband also killed himself and when I heard about you I knew I had to step in immediately before something happened. You have no reason to allow me into your life, but I give you my word that the time you give me, if you choose to give me any at all, will not go to waste."

Even though I heard everything she said perfectly, I could not bother to respond or pay attention to her. I was completely engrossed in the thought of my mother. The horrific visions my brain had conceived were burning into my thoughts like fire.

My mother had . . . she had ended her life. She had not passed away from the condition I had always been told of. She, a wonderful human being full of happiness and joy, had done it. It wasn't making any sense to me. Whenever I pictured her, she would always be smiling. She was always happy. She was a beautiful flower with so much compassion and care. But all this time she had been suffering?

"Why did she do it?" I asked.

"That's why I'm here," she said, quietly wiping her tears. "Not only to be there for you and provide assistance, but to show you who your mother really was."

"You say that as if the person I knew wasn't real."

She smiled, it was a sad smile. "Once you see where she came from, you can decide that for yourself. She didn't have an easy life and my husband and I didn't make it better. I blame myself for a lot of things, but in the end I have to live with it."

If I wasn't drugged out of my mind, the real me would have reacted differently. Finding out my mother ended her life instead of how I'd always known broke me. If everything I knew was a lie, then did I want to know the truth if this was how it began?

"What do you want to do?" I asked.

"I want you to come to my home and meet your family. Then I want us to sit down comfortable and talk."

"Will you tell me everything?"

"Everything." She smiled.

"Can I use your phone first? I need to call someone. And is there something else I can call you besides grandma? I don't feel comfortable using that."

She snapped her fingers and the window behind her, that I had not even noticed, slid down and a hand popped out, handing her a phone.

"You can call me Roselle," she replied, passing the phone to me.

I dialed Leo's phone number and felt my stomach twist with nerves. I wasn't even sure why I was nervous. I guess I was reminded how I lost him, got him back, and didn't want to lose him again.

"Hey, you know we're coming to see you in an hour, right?"

How he knew it was me calling, I'd never know. To this day I believed he had psychic senses, maybe boyfriend senses, that would explain a lot of things.

"Hey," I replied, trying to think of what to say but my brain wasn't working properly and I couldn't shake the image of my mom out of my head. "Don't come."

He took a long pause before he responded.

"Are you okay?"

"Yeah, I'm okay. I was released." Roselle grabbed my attention as she tapped the window and the car started to move.

"Wait, really? I'm confused. When?"

Roselle watching me made me feel uncomfortable. I didn't want her to hear me speaking to Leo. I still didn't fully understand what her intentions were with me, but I knew for certain I didn't want to involve him in any of this mess. I'd tell him everything as soon as I got back, but for now it was better if I just kept it quiet.

"Couple minutes ago."

"I'll come get you."

"No, it's fine," I replied as I watched Roselle look at her watch. "I'll talk to you soon."

"D-Derek? Is everything okay?"

"Yeah, everything is fine. I love you." I hung up as Roselle extended her hand.

"Girlfriend?" she said, smiling with her eyebrows raised.

"Boyfriend," I corrected.

When her smile dropped, I was taken aback. So, having learned from the best, I let my own smile appear as I gave her the most sarcastic look. I hope it looked bitchy, I didn't want to disappoint Leo.

"Maybe it's best if you hold that information," she said.

"Um, why?"

"Our family . . . Our family isn't the most open minded."

"Interesting."

Just from that little bit of information, I was starting to feel closer to my mother. A few months after my dad found out I was gay, he took me into the living room one day and told me my mom was bisexual and she even dated a girl before him. So, with Roselle's reaction and the little line she gave me, I knew so much already.

I was then noticing more and more that I hadn't before, like my brain was clearing up finally.

The car we were in was a mercedes. No regular person owned this car, only filthy rich people did. And on top of it, Roselle had either a driver or a bodyguard or both at the same time. She had shiny, expensive looking jewelry and a high-headed attitude.

Thinking about everything I came to the conclusion that I was about to meet the worst people I'll ever have the displeasure of knowing.

What the hell did they do to my mother?

~ Squishy guiding you through the wonderful world of privilege

When the gates opened, a large luxurious mansion was not what I had pictured. A large home? Sure. But a freaking mansion. Never in a million years.

The mansion was two stories, but still as tall as a castle. It had a beige color and a fountain to match. We drove around the fountain and parked in front of the large double doors. I could not believe what I was seeing. I must still be in the hospital.

"Leave your things in the car," Roselle said as we exited the car.

"Am I allowed to ask how you're this rich?" I asked as we walked up the steps. I felt like I was walking into a palace. I felt odd in this foreign place.

"I'll tell you everything you want to know inside," she said, reaching the top of the steps first. "I believe only Chandler is home right now."

"Who is Chandler?" I asked.

"Your uncle. I have seven kids. Only two live here and the other one is in New York at the moment. But they all want to meet you and are very excited."

"Did they know I existed before my dad told you what happened?"

"They did."

Interesting, so not only did she not care before I tried to end it all, but neither did my aunts and uncles. It didn't bother me, I didn't even know they existed, honestly. My mother never talked about her family when she was alive, at least from what I remembered.

I felt like the medication I was given was starting to truly wear off because suddenly I cared about my decisions. Maybe I shouldn't have accepted coming here and asked for some time. Crazy how medicine affected you. I couldn't even remember what medicine I was given; they changed it so often that by the time I memorized the name there was a new one being forced down my throat.

The giant doors opened and blasted me with so much light I had to squint.

"Welcome to the home your mother grew up in," she said as she waved me inside.

I walked in first and was immediately drawn by the crystal chandelier above my head. Bet it was worth more than my life. But I wasn't going to lie, it looked better inside. It was cozy and warm and not full of diamonds like I had anticipated. All of the furniture pieces looked classically old and antique.

As I walked down the entrance hall, I spotted family photos and recognized my mother. She was young, in her teens most likely, and she was gorgeous. There was a family portrait that made me chuckle; it was of all seven kids and the parents and while all of them looked similar with blonde hair, blue eyes and a sun tan, my mother was the only one with dark hair and pale skin.

"Ah, yes," Roselle said as she approached me. "Your mother was always different. She came out just like my grandfather. Looks and personality. But she had the most beautiful blue eyes."

I wasn't going to comment on how all of us had blue eyes because I knew exactly what she meant. While everyone had simple blue eyes that could be easily overlooked, hers you couldn't ignore. They could be spotted from far away like two stars.

There was definitely an eerie feeling being here. It truly felt like some part of me was still back in the hospital. One, I couldn't believe I was finally out. Two, finding out more about my mom and my family was emotionally exhausting, and I was at my peek when it came to emotional balance.

Honestly I just wanted to go back to my apartment, lay in my bed with my boyfriend and just not have to pack more weight on my shoulders.

"I really look like her, don't I?" I said as I admired the photo some more.

"You do, very much."

"Well, are we going to talk now?" I said, moving away from the portrait.

"Come with me."

We passed by a few large rooms with a ton of open space and more fancy chandeliers. There was a maid walking around who ignored my presence, so I ignored hers and continue following Roselle. We entered an office room that had the walls filled with books. The floor was the shiniest floor I had ever seen.

It was cool, like a personal library. It even had a spiraling staircase that led to a second floor with more books, tables and seats.

There was a guy sitting at the main mahogany desk, two computer screens blocking his face. When we walked in, he looked up and jumped to his feet.

"Is this Derek?" he asked.

"Yes, it is," Roselle said and turned to me. "Derek, this is your uncle, Chandler."

My what.

Chandler barely looked older than I did, how was he my uncle? He was blonde, hair slicked back, eyes bright blue, face clear and young and not uncle-like at all. He was about the same height as me, maybe a tad bit taller. The only thing that gave away that he might be older than me was the suit he was wearing.

"Nice to meet you, Derek," he said, his voice deep and crisp. I hated it already and didn't want to hear it more.

"Yeah, nice to meet you," I said, shaking his hand as he held it in front of me. "How old are you?"

He laughed. "Thirty. I know, I look way younger."

What the hell. Did they sacrifice virgins, too?

From the photos I saw in the front hall and seeing Chandler in person and seeing how my grandma had aged, they were all strikingly beautiful. It made me self-conscious; I was just this gay poor guy with mental problems.

I still didn't believe he was thirty.

"Can you give us some privacy, dear?" Roselle asked her son.

"Of course," he said, heading for the door. "We're gonna have a good time, you and I." He pointed at me before he left.

What was that supposed to mean?

"If you like drinking and golfing, you'll like him, but if you don't then I hope you're good at acting," she said as she walked to a cute little seating area in a corner next to the wall sized windows that reminded me of Dr. Vestine's office.

"How are you so rich?" I asked instantly as I sat down on one of the couches.

She laughed nervously as she sat down. "We own hotels and casinos."

"Why did you hate me so much when I was little?"

She sighed deeply. "I didn't hate you. I actually wanted you to be a part of our family, but things went wrong. I will be honest with you, Derek, but you may not like a lot of what I'm going to say."

"As long as you're honest and tell me everything, then it's fine."

"Would you like something to drink before we start?" she asked as she used her phone to text someone.

"No, thank you," I said as a different maid entered and poured Roselle a glass of wine.

"Your grandfather was a very strict man and he had a vision for all of our children," she started. "He wanted them to be someone and not fall through the earth like most people. Your mother did not agree with anything he believed in. He had mapped out her life, and like most people who valued their own destiny, she rejected him."

"Is this supposed to be a story about how my mom was a rebellious teenager?" I asked.

"No, it goes beyond that. What he wanted for her and what she wanted for herself were on two completely different worlds. Their relationship was always rocky because of it. It's like when a parent wants their child to be a lawyer or a doctor but they end up wanting to be an artist. There's nothing wrong with that, but unfortunately he didn't have the same mindset as I did."

"Did she want to be an artist or was that just an example?" I wondered as she took another sip of her wine.

"She was a hacker."

I wasn't the one drinking but I choked anyway.

"She was a what?"

"She loved technology. And the word love doesn't even begin to describe her obsession with computers." She rolled her eyes as if her daughter was still alive, disappointing her by being a tech geek. "She spent most of her days locked up in her room, shrouded in darkness, not eating or sleeping. Sometimes she'd have friends over, but they were just like her."

"And your husband didn't like it?"

"It's not the life he wanted for her. He wanted her to be a part of his company. We all knew she was smart, the smartest of all the children actually." She gulped down the rest of the wine and placed the glass on the coffee table between us. Although I did not know her, I could tell this was going beyond her comfort zone. I wondered, if ever, when was the last time she spoke about her daughter like this. "And then shit hit the fan when police came knocking at our door."

Hearing this story was hard on me. I had this mental image of my mom burned into my mind and no matter what Roselle said, it couldn't alter it. Did I not want to believe the truth? Maybe I was questioning if it was true at all. This didn't sound like my mom, but then again, the sad realization was that I never knew her at all. I knew nothing about her life before me and dad. I was too young for intelligent conversations with her. The last few memories I had were crystal clear because they mattered so much to who I was, the conversations we had were impactful. I was young, she knew I was gay and she wanted to make sure I knew I was loved and accepted by her. That was the one memory I had of her that fed me the image of her being a perfect mom who loved the world and cared about people. But it was all a lie. It was fabricated by my mind. It was a way to fill the missing patches in my life. I had built up an imaginary mom because I didn't grow up with one like other kids.

"She got in trouble with the cops?" I asked, raising a brow. I was surprised, but intrigued.

"Multiple times. She was getting herself in dangerous situations and dragging our family name into these dark scenarios. My husband was tired of it all."

"But a hacker?"

"She hacked for a living. She did small jobs like finding out for people if their partners were cheating to huge ones like finding out secrets about governments. If you can imagine it, she did it. Her skills were feared by many, and soon people started putting the pieces together and found her. We received so many threats that we had to leave the country for a year."

My eyebrows were permanently furrowed at this point.

"Why does this sound like a movie?" I asked.

She shook her head. "Honestly . . ."

"Stressful?"

"The shit she put us through I could never forget. She got arrested a couple of times. It got so bad my husband had to put money aside called 'Evelyn's Bond Fund' just for when she got into trouble."

"I'm assuming there's a lot more to this story, since nothing adds up. Why was your husband's relationship with my mother so bad? Why did she kill herself? Why did I not hear about you until now?"

"Their relationship is complicated, but simple if you look at it as a father marrying his daughter off to a man she didn't love."

I gulped at that. "Does . . . Does that mean my father . . ."

"Oh, no! It was just an example, dear. Your mother loved your father very much, and that . . . that is one of the reasons they had problems. My husband never liked your father, he didn't want them together, he did everything possible to make sure they couldn't be together. And when she got pregnant, he threatened to abandon her if she didn't get an abortion."

I blinked, hard. "And you . . . You loved this man?"

"Honey, I'm a survivor. I did what I had to do to make sure my children had everything. Even at the cost of my own happiness. And that's my sin . . . never speaking up."

"Why didn't you speak up? She was your daughter."

"The last time I tried that I ended up with a black eye. I was scared. I've had a lot of years to reflect and if I could go back in time, I would protect my daughter and fight back. You want to give me a black eye? Not before I give you two."

"I'm sorry that happened to you."

She waved her hand. "It was a long time ago, I've forgiven and moved on."

"It still doesn't make it right."

"That's true, but here is where the story turns dark. Your mother and your grandfather both got into trouble with certain type of people. Even when we came back to the United States, the feeling like we were constantly being watched was overwhelming. My husband is not an evil man, he was a moron, extremely ignorant and hard headed, but he was not evil. Unfortunately, he killed a man. He brutally killed a man."

"Please don't tell me my mother was involved."

"Shh, speak after I'm done," she said, waving a finger at me. "The man he killed had people. They found my husband and he managed to escape them, but not for long. He knew they were going to kill him and it was all because of Evelyn and what she had done. So he took his own life. And as you can imagine, your mother didn't take it well, even though they disagreed and fought, they still loved each other."

This information hit my feelings. Knowing this much about my mother made me happy, but at the same time . . . it hurt. Roselle didn't need to continue for me to understand. Whatever my mother had done cost her father's life.

"And your mother," Roselle continued, " . . . she ran into the same people. They kidnapped her and did God knows what. She refused to speak about it. But whatever happened and the fact that she's the reason her father was dead, it tormented her. Do you remember the last few weeks with your mom before they told you she passed?"

I shook my head. "I don't remember. I don't think I even saw her."

She pursed her lips sadly. "They found her dead in a motel bathtub."

"I don't understand why no one told me this. Especially as an adult. Did I not deserve to know?"

She hummed to herself, contemplating whether or not to share more. I could read people easily and I knew there was so much more. I felt betrayed by my own father now. Was he ever going to tell me all of this or was he going to take it to the grave? It made sense why he never spoke about her. Everything made sense now.

"Don't get frustrated with my answer," she said as she leaned forward and placed her hand on my knee, "but I believe it was to protect you. The least you knew, the better. These people didn't just want to come for my husband and your mother, they wanted to come for your father, your little sister, our family and you."

So in the end, everything that happened to my mother got to her. Even though my grandfather and her ended their lives, they were for two different reasons. One was an escape, because he knew they were going to capture him and hurt him. He knew his life was over. And my mother . . . I could only imagine what kind of things she went through.

"I want to go home," I announced, getting up.

"I understand," she said, standing up with me. "You're welcome here anytime, I hope you know that."

"There's still a lot of questions I have, but it's been a long month and this has been more than I can handle right now."

She followed me through the door and down the hall, where we both stopped to look at each other. She was my blood, but she was not family. To me, it took more than DNA for me to be able to call you family. Sasha was more family than she was.

"Promise you'll come back?" she asked.

"Yeah, sure."

She smiled. "We've taken care of the expenses, by the way. And if you let me, I'd like to pay for your treatment and therapy sessions. I want to help you in any way I can."

"Okay, sure."

"Just let the driver know where you want to go."

"Goodbye, Roselle," I said as I went through the double doors. It didn't seem like I was there long, but it was night already.

I went down the long steps and stopped in front of the bodyguard driver, who was waiting for me with his hands behind his back. I gave him my address and he nodded, opening the back door and letting me in.

"I'll be in touch!" Roselle said as she waved.

I waved back, but not as enthusiastically.

Leo, I'm coming back baby.

__________________________________________

[Message]: Pls don't kill me for taking so long to update, I have a good excuse! I've been working long and hard on TWO new BoyxBoy stories. One is now being delayed and I'm taking a break from it because it requires a lot more effort than I had expected, SO I'm only working on one new BoyxBoy right now and it's romance and cute and the best story you guys will ever read. It's SO good. WAY better than Step Brothers, College Life, Ect . . . and it's a bit different from regular boyxboy's so to kind of introduce you guys to the idea, there's gonna be a Step Brothers chapter soon that will have the idea of this new story, but sort of minimized, just to show you guys what it might be like and hopefully get you to read it. But honestly, it's so freaking good. I've released the book cover, title, description on my facebook and twitter so go over there and check it out if you're curious. It's probably going to come out soon maybe in a month? I don't know yet, I work very hard on my stories and characters. ANYWAY. Hope you liked this chapter, it was a lot I know, now you know a little more about Derek's mom. If you have any questions, don't be afraid to ask!