[oh!]

[Derek's Point Of View]

"I'm only staying for like two days."

Dakota glared at me as he dropped my suitcase next to his bed, kicking it gently while starting directly at me. I felt threatened. I dropped the two backpacks I was carrying on my shoulders and sighed loudly.

"You should get that checked," he said.

"Get what checked?"

"You sigh every five seconds."

"Funny," I said, not laughing.

"Is this our first fight?" Dakota said as he closed the front door. "We aren't even married yet."

Why was everything actually triggering me? I shuddered thinking about actually verbally fighting someone. I knew he was joking, but I already started getting a headache and war flashbacks and had to sit down.

"You blow me and you're already planning on marriage?" I said, hoping he'd caught on that it was a joke but he didn't. His jaw dropped. And if we were in a cartoon, it would be on the floor.

"With how much work I put into it I think I deserve a fuckin' ring!" he said, stomping away into the kitchen. He popped his head out a second later. "You want anything to eat or should we order pizza?"

"I'm not hungry. Do whatever you want," I said.

He came out, full body, just so I could see him place his hand on his hips. "You barely eat, why is that? Are you okay? Oh my GOD, Derek. You know I'll support you and be there for whatever you're going through but you gotta eat, man."

I knew what he was hinting at but that was not the case at all. "No, I'm just used to not eating."

"But . . . your body? Like, I don't want to even talk about what happened but it's gonna happen whether I want to or not. You have . . . a bomb body. You can't get that not eating."

I shrugged, waving my hands like I had no idea what emotion I was even trying to portrait. "It's all . . . just construction. I'm always moving, whether I'm working or home."

"Yeah, no, that doesn't make sense to me."

"So you like my body?" I said, changing the subject.

"Uh." He looked around uncomfortably and dove back in the kitchen to hide.

"What else do you like?"

Dakota took out a spatula and he waved it at me. "I'm not talking to you."

Was it bad that I loved messing with him this much? There was something funny and hot about getting him all flustered up with bright cheeks. I was thinking of more ways I could torture him and maybe make him laugh.

"You don't have to be shy. I obviously liked it . . . a lot."

He showed half of his face and the other kept hidden behind the wall. "Like . . . how much is a lot?"

"Were you not paying attention to how much I ca-"

"NO!" he screamed, going back into the kitchen, but he came back again. "That's not even a good answer. Your . . . thing is huge. It's family size!"

I gulped at the mental image. That was . . . so wrong. Why Dakota? Why.

"It's n-"

"Don't you say it's not that big, because yes, it is. You could cut it in half to give me my own dick and it would still be too big. Why is it that big? That's not normal!"

"Do you want to look at it again?"

"Um. I spent like an hour looking at it, I'm okay for now, but thank you."

"You said you were hungry," I said in the most serious tone.

Dakota threw the spatula at me and I had to duck because his aim was good. He left the kitchen and jumped on his bed, not bothering to pick up the spatula from the floor. He screamed into his pillow and then just chilled for a bit.

He rolled on his back and stared at the ceiling. "Would you . . . would you ever have, um, sex with someone who is really cool but has a vagina?"

I almost fell out of the couch. I wasn't into dramatic responses but that was my authentic response and I felt like I suddenly lost touch with reality. I did not expect I'd hear that come out of anyone's mouth. Girls have tried it on me before, so I've thought about it, but never crossed my mind with a transgender guy.

"Never really thought about it. I've never met a transgender person before so . . ."

"Pft, what?" He made a face at me from the bed, pursing his lips and looking flabbergasted. "You assuming I'm talking about me? Nah . . . maybe."

"You said you were a virgin and you want to have sex with someone who is family sized?"

Dakota shrugged. "I'd do it with someone I like, regardless of how big or small they are. I have a couple of gay trans guy friends who are all tops, and even if they decided to bottom they don't want to use their front part, and I'd like to try it from the front but it's not exactly easy and I don't know anybody else who I can talk to about these things. I could ask a guy, or find a guy on Tinder to tear me up against a wall, but I've been fetishized enough. I'm not anyone's kink and you don't treat me like I am so . . . just thought I'd ask."

"I don't know. I don't want to say anything offensive so I also don't know what I'm supposed to say," I said.

"Just be honest, it's okay. If you say something stupid I'll just kick you out and keep your stuff."

I laughed and slouched back against the couch, relaxed and not so stressed anymore. "If I identify as gay, which I do, what does it mean if I have sex with you . . . in your vagina? Like I've never even seen someone who looks like a guy and not have . . . it . . . between their legs."

"Good question!" he said excitedly and then dropped his tone. "Next question."

"Wait, what?" I said, slouching forward now and losing my comfortable position.

"It's hard to answer because honestly as much as we want to deny it, everyone works differently. Some gay guys will be okay with it because they still see us as a guy either way, some can't even think about it because they love those cucumber sized pieces of meat all over their faces. And I can't ask a straight guy, who most likely likes the V, to have sex with me, because I identify as a gay transgender man, and that would make me feel uncomfortable. I'm not a girl, I'm a guy. So you see my dilemma?"

"Yeah, sounds confusing."

"Sometimes it is and sometimes it isn't. Everything depends on people."

"I mean . . . I obviously do see you as a real guy and I really liked your mouth on me last night, but I can't promise I'd be turned on and I don't want to hurt you and make you feel like you're not a guy because I couldn't get hard or whatever."

Dakota sighed, stealing my thing, and closed his eyes. "I feel like I'm gonna be alone forever. And some may be okay with that, but I'm not. Everyone likes me till they know."

"That's not true. Just because of those assholes? Like I said, you are better than them. I'd rather fuck you twenty times in a row, in the front and in the back than do them once."

He touched his heart and pouted, looking at me with puppy eyes. "That's the sweetest thing anyone has ever said to me."

"I'm serious."

He held his hands up. "Didn't say you weren't being serious."

"You shouldn't care what people like them think."

Dakota dropped his hands back over his eyes and went quiet. I stared at him as he laid on his bed. There was something special about him that I could see clearly like looking through glass. But he wasn't just special, he was unique, one of a kind, a good soul. And I didn't want to hurt him.

For a long time I've known that I wasn't okay. I never denied that I wasn't okay. There was a lot wrong with me, it's just that I didn't care that was the problem. I couldn't drag someone else with me; whether that was a friend or more didn't matter either. The truth was that it would take me too long to get over Leo to start something with someone new. What I was doing right now . . . it was almost like rebelling. I wanted freedom from the pain and I got it, so now I was basking in the glory of deliverance.

Not making a sound, I stood and moved to the foot of the bed where Dakota laid. My hand hovered curiously over his legs. He was still unaware that I was in front of him just watching like a creep. He really was a beautiful person; inside and out. Warmth surprised me between my legs as I thought what was going to happen.

I touched his legs as I climbed over him, my right leg between his thighs. He gasped when he felt me all of the sudden when he probably thought I was still on the couch. His eyes looked up at me with a spark of innocence.

"Derek?"

"Dakota?"

"You don't have to do this."

"I want to. You want to."

He tilted his head back when I went for his neck, pressing a wet tongue against bare skin. He shuddered from my touch as I dragged the kiss down to his collarbone and bit down. His hands pulled me closer to him and I felt him kick off his shoes. I moved my lips to his and kissed him gently.

All I could think about was how this would be his first time and I felt lost at what I should be doing. But I wasn't going to say anything, I was going to try my best and give him something to remember forever.

Dakota's hand reached up and he smacked the light switch, shutting them off. It didn't go completely dark; the sun was setting, so beautiful orange colors cascaded through the window blinds behind the bed. The colors illuminated the back of Dakota's head, giving his hair an angelic look.

He pulled me back into a kiss, this time taking control of it and guiding me along. We breathed heavily against each other, not bothering to take breaths until we couldn't hold empty lungs anymore.

I used the break to remove my shirt and toss it over my head. Dakota studied my body but made no move to remove his, so I dragged my hands under the fabric of his shirt and helped him remove it. He was purposely covering his scars from his surgery.

"It's okay," I told him as I planted a quick kiss on his lips.

He smiled shyly and dropped his arms. He was obsessing over my body when his was ten times better? He worked out a lot apparently because he had really nice muscles for someone his build. He had neat body hair that looked better than mine. So again, what the hell was he talking about? My body wasn't even close to his. He actually worked for his, all I did was move things and hammer shit.

"I like your body," I told him and teased him with another slow kiss.

"Thanks, I like yours, too."

"Can I?" I asked, motioning to his shorts.

[This is my first time writing a sex scene like this. I am sorry if I disappoint. I tried my best with the little knowledge I have. Please enjoy, vote and comment. Also please understand that not every FTM trans man is comfortable with this, but my character is 100% comfortable with this]

He swallowed and nodded.

The shorts went off easily, but he was wearing boxers underneath. I didn't want to make him feel alone so I pulled back for a second and dropped my own pants and briefs. It was nothing he hadn't seen already. I moved back to him and touched his boxers, looking at him for a sign that he wanted to stop, but he didn't show me any expression except one of a nervous boy.

I pulled his boxers down and he kept his eyes on me like he was trying to look for something. My eyes went straight to his clit which looked bigger than normal and I already knew this was because of the hormones. I wasn't totally ignorant.

"Say something."

"What do you want me to say? That I'm grossed out by you? Well, you won't hear it, because I'm not," I said.

He wasn't completely shaved, but he did keep it tidy. I really didn't mind this at all. I liked Dakota, so I liked whatever he had. Whether it was a humongous dick, a small dick, or a pussy.

I kissed his thighs and he shook in a strangely cute way. He had never had anyone close to him like this before. I was truly first on every category like he had said.

He yelped when I grabbed him and moved him back so he was resting his head against the pillows, giving me more room to work with. We were completely naked now with only a dark sun watching. His head was now under the windows so the sun wasn't hitting him anymore, but it was hitting me.

Pushing his legs apart, I laid chest down and moved my face closer. He was trying not to show that he was close to freaking out but he wasn't going to hide emotions from me. I could see them miles away.

Purposely, I teased him more by leaving kisses near the good parts. He was still trying to go strong but I could see everything I was doing to him. Then I dove all the way down and gave him a long lick. He kind of just gasped and groaned at the same time. I wasn't going to pretend like I knew what I was doing, I was just going along with what I thought was right, but holy shit was this harder than it looked like.

"Tell me if I'm doing anything wrong, okay?" I told him and he nodded.

I spread his pussy with a thumb and I dipped my tongue through the hole. It didn't taste different than I had expected. It was nice, actually. I switched my attention to his clit and gave it a nice swirl of my tongue. He reacted more to this so I kept going, using the tip of my wet tongue to rub around, kissing, sucking, doing what I thought he liked.

So far I was doing a good job. Dakota wasn't complaining. He was still trying to hold back and I wasn't sure why. If he wanted to moan and scream and tell me to fuck him, he should tell me.

He was getting wet, so I used this chance to slip in a finger inside him while my mouth worked over his clit. I was enjoying his pink pussy more than I thought I was going to. I was fully hard and he didn't even know that.

Finally, Dakota began to moan. I had to be doing something right. I mean I had a finger in him, moving in and out while I rubbed him in many ways. He was super tight, which made me feel nervous. My index finger barely fit in when I tried to and it took some adjusting before I went in. And it wasn't even all the way in, I really couldn't.

"I know you have lube, I saw your toys when you were in the shower, can I?" I asked.

"Yeah."

I left the bed quickly, also showing him how hard I was, and went into his not-so-secret hiding place where he kept his private things and took the very large bottle of lube. I brought it back and jumped back between his legs, dripping some lube on his hole and using my fingers to spread it around. This time sliding a finger in was easier and I fingered him until my index was all the way in. It seemed like he liked it when I was rough so I fingered him faster while my thumb brushed over his clit, stroking it as if it were a regular dick. His mouth opened as he let the sexiest moan out. I kept going and brought my face closer to his and kissed him while my right hand worked him up.

When I let my thumb rest for a second, he took over and rubbed his clit up and down quickly, almost like he was tapping it. I had no idea if he was going to cum or how it even worked so I just kept fingering him while I kissed him everywhere and then his body spasmed, getting tighter and wetter. But he kept going, so I didn't stop.

"Put your dick in my mouth," he said breathlessly.

I obeyed and crawled closer to his face, keeping my hand where it was and not once stopping my motions with my finger. I shoved my hard cock in his mouth and he bobbed his head as he sucked. The way he used his tongue under the tip of my dick made me feel like he was a pro at this but I was still his first time even for this. But how hard could it be to suck a stick? Definitely not like eating a pussy.

Dakota couldn't put the entire thing in his mouth, and as much as I wished he could, he still made me feel incredible. He stopped sucking and started licking under my length. My dick was so hard and long that it just rested on top of his face and he licked from the balls to the tip. I was so wet and it wasn't even because of his saliva. It was the precum coming out with how much I was excited.

I couldn't let him blow me too long, I'd bust just from that and be out for an entire month. I moved back in front of him and thought about what I could do. I grabbed the head of my dick and I brushed it over his clit, spreading the wetness further. He moaned deeply, arching his back as I teased his beautiful parts with my dick.

He brushed two fingers over his clit as the tip of my dick rubbed up against it. It was driving him crazy and he was giving me these hot hooded eyes that drove me crazy. I dragged my tip down and pressed it against his hole but didn't enter. I wasn't sure how it was going to fit so I grabbed more lube and coated two fingers that I used to stretch him some more while he played with himself.

"Don't think that I've been planning this like some evil scientist, but I bought condoms, just in case it did get this far," Dakota said.

"I already saw condoms in your secret stash."

"Those are for my toys, and they're small."

"Oh."

"They're under the mattress if you want to get one."

I was close enough to the edge that I was able to reach between the mattress and find the magnum packets. I tore one out, placing the rest back under the mattress. These were the same type I used, so it was very familiar to me, and then other thoughts tried to sneak in and I pushed them away.

"I don't want this to hurt you."

"It's gonna hurt, but it will also feel good as long as you go easy on me."

I didn't put on the condom just yet. I worked with his hole some more, using two fingers to go in and out, rubbing his insides and pushing deeper, using different motions, everything I could do to make him feel good and ready for my dick.

When I thought he was ready, I opened the condom with my teeth and placed it directly on the tip of my dick, pulling it down till it covered me entirely. The feeling was tight against my skin and all it made me do was rub my dick on something. I needed friction, touch, a hole, something, anything.

"Are you ready?" I asked him as I poured more lube over him and my dick.

"Yeah."

I massaged his hole with my dick, rubbing it up and down, sliding over his clit and back down to meet the gaping hole. He still looked super tight and if it didn't hurt him, then it was going to feel amazing for me.

I moved in closer between his legs and began to push the tip in. My jaw slightly dropped at the feeling of tight warmth squeezing my cock. I pushed in further, watching Dakota's face as I stopped halfway because he was showing discomfort.

"Are you okay?"

"Don't stop."

I moved his hand away and rubbed him where he liked as I gave the last push to enter him fully. He gasped loudly and then slapped my hand away so he could take back some control. I pushed his legs up to get a better position and began to fuck him. Sliding in and out was easy, but holding back the orgasm was not. This was a whole new experience to me and not many things could top it. I didn't think sex could feel so different from what I had been used to. But fucking Dakota felt so right, so good.

We moaned together, leaning closer and closer till our mouths touched but we didn't kiss, just breathed heavily. I was so lost in the new feelings that I moaned his name loudly. He stared into my eyes, his eyes half shut but trying to focus on my face. I couldn't read his expression this time. But our eye contact was intense and we didn't look away for a long time.

I kissed his soft lips as my thrusts slowed. I moved until my weight was fully on him, our chests pressing tightly against one another. I liked the feeling of his skin against mine. He was warm and his skin was beautiful, he was beautiful.

His hands came up behind me, scratching my back as I fucked upwards. He wasn't as quiet as he was in the beginning. He was very mouthy now. Every second was a moan or a low groan.

"Oh, God," Dakota whispered, closing his eyes as his body twitched and his back arched, orgasming again. He was furiously rubbing himself while I slowly pulled out and pushed in.

The reason I was going slow wasn't because I was tired, but afraid that I wouldn't hold it and I wanted to go longer. It made me think about how much more amazing it would feel without a condom, but that would be dangerous even if he didn't have any diseases, which I knew he didn't.

But I was very curious about it and wanted it. Maybe one day.

"I'm sorry," I breathed against his neck, "I don't think I can hold it longer." It was a new person, the only other person that I had ever been with sexually that wasn't Leo. It was a new person, new skin, even a different type of hole that I was used to. I wasn't going to last very long, but I was still proud at how far I made it.

"Cum over me, Derek," Dakota said.

His voice sent shivers down my spine and traveled all the way down to my dick. I quickly pulled out, watching how his hole stayed open in my shape. I pulled off the condom desperately as I felt the orgasm coming and I jerked myself as I inched closer to Dakota's body and released. My balls tightened as the tingling exploded through my body, my cum shooting all over his body like a fountain.

I collapsed beside him on the bed, arching my back as I felt the tingling go on. Pretty sure I just had a body orgasm as well.

"Did I do okay?" I asked, my voice coming out deep, raspy and lazy.

"You did good," Dakota said, laughing and patting my chest while he took looked drowsy. "For a first time, that was really nice. Can't imagine what a second time would be like when I'm not awkward."

"A second time would be destructive," I said.

"You're gonna throw me against the walls? Flip me like a piece of non tenderized meat?"

"Oh, that sounds nice. You seem flexible, I can get some crazy positions."

"We're gonna fuck for the next two days aren't we?" he muttered.

"My balls hurt thinking about it."