[Quick message] Before you start reading, I feel like I have to warn everyone. It's been a long time now since this chapter has come out and I'm writing this message from the future *waves* but a lot of people have gotten/will get really mad at Leo and even stop reading, I have to come here and yell, KEEP FREAKING READING, a lot quit after the first few chapters and there are over 30 chapters. You WILL get mad and annoyed at certain characters because that's naturally what I intended, KEEP FREAKING READING, everything will make sense and unveil itself. You will not hate anyone by the end, I promise you. There needs to be a storyline and you will not get the full picture in just the first few chapters, so please . . . KEEP READING.

My story wasn't always complicated. Once, it was actually quite simple. My mom and dad split when I was a baby, my mother was half American so she moved back to the states when it happened, leaving me an airport baby.

Airport babies feel like they don't really have a home, except the airport, because it's always the same. I flew back and forth between America and Italy growing up, until my mom popped the question that would change everything.

"Do you want to come live with me?" she had asked.

Having spent most of my life with my dad's side of the family left a lot of mixed emotions in me about what it would be like to live as an American. Summers were always the best time, because those two months were what I had with my mom every year and they were the best memories I've ever had.

I was blinded by all the moments I had on the beach, carnivals, theme parks, Disney Land, that I immediately said yes, not thinking that I would be leaving everyone behind and that it would not always be theme parks and sunny days at the beach. I didn't think of the fact that I'd be going to a new school, meeting new people, being in a completely different culture and way of living.

Obviously, she was a good mom and had asked me many times if I wanted to change my mind. I never did, I wanted that Hollywood life that I endlessly saw in the movies. But real life wasn't like the movies, it wasn't sunshine and daisies.

And that was how my story began. I spent one summer with my mom before we moved out of her apartment and into a new home. A home that already had a family, but a family with a missing piece. And I wasn't prepared to be that missing puzzle piece.

But a lot of things changed since then. Eventually I realized I was no one's puzzle piece, I was my own damn puzzle artwork. I was young, it shouldn't have been my responsibility to save a family that was already breaking apart. And falling in love and acting on those feelings didn't help the family, instead I made things harder on everyone. I blamed myself for a lot of things that happened. But again, I was a child, so it wasn't fair.

Thankfully, I was no longer a child now and from the moment I wasn't, I made sure everything was going to feel different. It definitely happened, everything was different, just in the way I didn't expect.

Even if it sounded kind of harsh, I was free. Everything I went through with Derek and his family just didn't matter anymore. It happened, it was in the past, and even though I was still connected to the family since I was still with Derek, I wasn't put the weight of having to worry every second about everything. Like getting caught kissing him and feeling like shit because we were step brothers and our parents didn't feel all that comfortable even though they tried to be supportive.

Ultimately, it was our fault they got divorced. And only one of us wanted to admit it.

Going on this road trip would be the longest I'd ever been physically with Derek since we went our separate ways to college. Our visits were usually just the weekend and sometimes holidays. But now? It was going to be a mega long road trip across the United States of America.

I was happy but nervous. We fought a lot, but rarely in person because of the circumstances. Whenever we did fight in person, one of us would usually be leaving the next day because school was starting again and it would make us not talk to each other for days, sometimes weeks. I was stubborn and he would get depressed and not talk to anyone.

I already knew that there were going to be tears and yelling and possibly a lot of making out. I was excited for everything but there was a daunting feeling in my stomach that things could go very wrong very fast.

Either way, I drove my happy ass into the apartment complex where Derek lived and parked outside his building. The black minivan he told me about occupied his parking space. It was big, shiny and looked expensive. As I stepped out of my car, I saw that the van was already loaded and ready to go. The back was filled with so much crap, it made me nervous for what Derek had stored for me. I knew that he had planned this for a long time and wanted to keep most of it a secret but damn Derek.

I nervously played with my car keys and walked up the stairs to his door on the second floor. I took in a deep breath, knowing extremely well that I hadn't seen him in more than half a year, and knocked.

"Oh god," I whispered under my breath. "This feels like highschool all over again, amazing, Leo. And now I'm speaking to myself in third person."

The door opened and I swear to every gay emotional bone in my body I wanted to cry. It was like falling in love at first sight, except not really. Looking at Derek in front of me after so long felt almost unreal. I never thought this day would come, and daydreaming about it never helped either. It just always felt like a faraway dream I could never reach.

He was usually pale, but working so much outside from his construction job gave him a nice little warm color to his skin. He was still white as hell and his ass would probably shine a new moon, but it felt good to see some life in him. No dark circles under his eyes this time, his eyes were as beautiful as ever. He shaved his face, which . . . hell ya. But damn he looked good.

"Yaas."

"Did you just Yaas me?" he asked, raising a brow.

"I swear that was a thought," I muttered.

"Not gonna lie this feels awkward." He felt awkward, yet he was looking up and down at me like this was an all you could eat Leoffet.

Awkward or not, I knew how hard this was for him. I leaned in and hugged him, squeezing hard. He returned it by wrapping his hands around my waist and kissing my cheek as lightly as a feather.

"You smell really good," I chuckled in his ear.

"You smell like ketchup."

"Yeah," I said, letting him go, "I was hungry so I ate a few packets of ketchup."

"What?"

"What."

"Do you want food? Why would you eat packets of ketchup?"

"I didn't say it was a smart idea, I was just hungry and they were in my car."

"You didn't answer my question."

"Well, I'm still waiting for you to kiss me and stop being so awkward."

He looked me in the eyes, lifted my chin and pressed his lips against mine, parting our lips open to let his tongue in. I was thankful I was wearing anti-boner-revealer pants, so he would never know how excited this kiss actually made me. I just wasn't expecting that, I thought he was just gonna give me a quick kiss, not this poison to my human balance and weak knees.

I hummed into the kiss, accepting more of his tongue, more of his full delicious lips. He felt strong, but so delicate and careful and full of control. Usually it was me who controlled everything, down to our kissing, but this felt really nice and I could just stand here outside his door letting his neighbors see us kissing for hours.

"No," I immediately complained when he pulled back with one last bite of my lips. "More."

"Get some food then maybe I'll kiss you more."

"UGH!" I walked past him and went inside his apartment, heading for his bathroom. "Fine, but I'm using the bathroom first."

"You better not jerk off."

I stopped walking towards the bathroom and walked towards his kitchen instead, ignoring the look of surprise on his face. I looked through his fridge but all he had was crap food. Hot pockets mostly. I took one, threw it in the microwave violently and pressed in the time.

"Is your car open? Gonna take your luggage and put it in the van."

"No," I answered as I took out the hot pocket when the microwave beeped, screamed like a girl when the heat of hell burned my fingers and tossed him my keys.

Few minutes passed and he came back, catching me in the act.

"Why are you putting your hot pocket in a bowl of water and ice cubes?"

"How else am I supposed to eat it, Derek?"

I reached into the bowl and screamed from how cold it was and dropped the hot pocket on the floor.

"Oh my god. We'll get you something to eat on the road, you're unbelievable."

I left the hot pocket on the floor for all the rats and bugs who needed to feed their families while we were away. Derek picked it up and put it back in the freezer and I gagged like I was trying to win the high school's most popular competition.

"That is gross, Derek. You are gross."

"I'm gross . . . I'M gross. Okay."

"That's what I just said, genius!"

He sighed, defeated. "Are you ready to go, babe?"

"Yes, daddy," I said, walking out the apartment, trying not to snicker.

"Wha?"

I made sure my car was locked and there was nothing on the seats that people wanted to steal. My things were already in the van so I popped inside and waited for Derek, who was slowly closing his apartment. I watched his sexy ass walk down the stairs. Turned me on how he walked like a hot man. Made me wonder if it turned him on that I walked like a penguin.

I smiled at him when he climbed in and started the van. He returned it, his eyes sparkling with joy and his teeth shining white. It wasn't often that I saw him smile like that, especially at me of all people. Once again, I felt this heavy weight on my shoulders. I caused him so much pain, yet so much happiness. How could anyone balance something like that? How could I manage that kind of power over someone?

He made sure I ate before we were really on the road. He got us both In-N-Out and milkshakes. We ate quietly in the parking lot of the joint, then we were on the road again. Even though I could feel our problems slowly trying to make their way up to the surface, our big talk was unavoidable, I still felt excitement for the trip. I had no clue what was going to happen. Only one thing I was sure of, and I knew because I was an evil monster who bribed Molly into telling me what Derek had planned. Apparently, Derek was planning for us to go camping.

"Are you going to tell me where we're going to first?"

"Las Vegas," he replied.

"Oh no . . ."

"Oh, yes."

"Derek, you know I don't like casinos or gambling. I don't want us to waste money on machines," I complained, feeling kinda bummed out. I was extremely against this.

"We aren't going to gamble or go to casinos, we're going to see Britney Spears."

My eyes widened and I gasped so dramatically I had to question who I was for a moment. The inner gay in me screamed so hard I had to think about boobs to chill down. My friends and I wanted to watch her live for so long but we were so problematic when it came to trips that we never got around to it.

"Derek . . . I honestly can't believe it."

"We have good seats as well."

"Shut your hole."

"I'm serious." He looked so happy with himself to see the totally superfluous reaction from me. "And we're also staying in a nice hotel for a day to just relax and be together before we see her and go back to the road."

"You mean so we can fuck?"

"Uh."

I mostly said it as a joke, expecting he'd blush or act all cute and dorky, but it didn't happen. Cold ran through my body as I remembered. I felt my stomach drop when I took a look at his face.

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to . . . I just-"

"It's okay."

So much had happened between us, how could I be insensitive and forget the biggest mistake of my life? How could I have mentioned that after I cheated on him, after I shattered his heart and made it obvious that I was an immature piece of shit who didn't deserve him?

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[Author's Message]: Keep reading. Don't you guys dare stop because of how this chapter ends lmao. KEEP GOING. Everything will be answered and your anxiety will be relieved.