Despondent: low spirits from loss of hope or courage.

*A/N Just a reminder that NOTHING in this chapter or this story in general are reflections of my life or my experiences. I just make this deep for the angst and feels so I apologize*

Keith pov

The ride home seemed like hours but was maybe around 20 minutes due to traffic.
When we got home I've never been more happy to see the tan concrete place I call my home.
Lance helped me out of the suv and Christine took the bag and my empty fry container.
"The door should be open boys" She said.
I nodded.
"I can walk fine Lance don't worry" I chuckled weakly.
"Sorry, I'm just worried about you falling over or something" He said.
I opened the door and stepped inside.
Warm comforting air greeted me.
Christine followed up in.
Lance clutched my hand to his chest.
I hate the look of the ugly bandages on my arms but it's better than what's hiding underneath.
"Daddy he's home!" I heard Meenah yell.
She came barreling down the stairs.
Lance let go of my hand and she threw herself into my arms, Crying loudly.
"Don't ever leave like that again! I hate you for leaving us! I missed you so much" She sobbed into my shoulder.
I hugged her back.
"Don't cry Meen. It's okay, I'm home. I'm not going anywhere" I assured her.
Dane and Cole came up from the basement.
Cole rushed over and latched onto me too.
I've only seen Cole cry when he was a toddler.
He wasn't in hysterics like Meenah but a few tears softly fell down his pink tinted cheeks.
"Welcome home" He said softly.
I hugged him with my other arm.
"I'm happy to be back" I whispered to them both.
After I calmed Meenah down they both let go.
I wiped Meenah's tear stained cheeks with my thumb.
I stood up and not even a second later Dane pulled me into a huge bear hug. He almost lifted me off the ground.
I laughed. He always gives really good hugs.
"Don't you dare do anything like that ever again you hear me? You stay here where you're loved. You have a home and it's here" He said, Choking back a sob. I have never seen Dane cry, Ever.
I hugged him back.
"I'm sorry" I whispered.
"I can't lose you. I don't care what happens, You'll always be my son no matter what" He said.
Dane let go of me and put his large hands on my shoulders.
"Welcome home" He said and gave me a weak smile.
"You look thinner" He said looking me up and down.
"He lost nearly 11 pounds" Christine chimed in.
"Jesus really? In under two weeks?" He asked.
Her and Lance nodded.
"His doctors and nurse suggested for him to lose some weight anyway" Christine said.
I come home and they're talking about my weight already.
Dane let go of me finally. Lance pulled me back and pressed his front into my back and put his arms around me. He rested his hands on my belly.
"They suggested that?" Dane asked, Tone changing from a crying from happiness to overprotective Dad mode.
"Yes" Christine said.
"C'mon. Let's get you some water" Lance said and lead me into the kitchen.
I strained my hearing to listen to them talk.
"Keith looked perfectly fine. He was healthy. Do you remember what he looked like a year ago? The poor boy was skinny as a rail. This has been one of the best changes to him!" Dane said firmly but softly as to not be as loud.
They moved over into the first living room.
Lance got me some water and I thanked him.
He sat me down at the breakfast bar and I drank most of it.
"They're doctors Dane! They know what's best for overall health. He was getting pretty big. His nurse wanted him to get rid of some weight so he didn't dabble into being severely overweight. He's perfectly fine now. This was good for him" Christine argued.
"Were these people even feeding him? Keith looked damn fine to me, I didn't see a problem in the first place!" Dane hissed.
"Yes they were feeding him! 3 meals a day. He wasn't getting enough vitamins and his body was on lots of painkillers and junk so he lost some weight" Christine explained.
"He gained nearly 40 pounds since Christmas Dane! That's a significant amount of weight" She added.
"He looked healthy to me before and he looks healthy. As long as he is truly healthy; I'm content. I'm done this discussion. I need to spend some time with him" Dane said.
I grabbed Lance's hand innocently and pretended I didn't hear anything.
"Are you still hungry? I'll make you anything you want" Christine said.
"I'm okay, Don't worry" I smiled.
"I haven't had a shower in so long. I need one really bad" I said.
"Oh right! Yes go do that" Christine encouraged me.
"Will you need some help?" Lance asked.
"Maybe, Probably just with taking off my bandages" I said.
"Is that okay with you Lance? Helping him?" Christine asked.
Lance laughed.
"I've seen Keith naked dozens of times, Taking bandages off his arms and watching over him in the shower will be a breeze" Lance chuckled.
"Lance!" I yelped and my face got hot so I covered it up.
Both my patents exchanged awkwardly uncomfortable looks.
Meenah and Cole snickered.
"They're big boys now, They can do whatever they want to with each other" Dane said.
"Okay I'm not continuing this conversation. We'll be back down in a bit" I said and pulled Lance upstairs.
We just went straight into the bathroom. Lance got me some fresh towels and put them on the floor next to the shower entry arch.
"Do you need to shower too?" I asked him.
He shook his head.
"Can you help take my shirt off? My arms and shoulders ache really bad" I asked.
"Of course" Lance replied and stroked my cheek.
"Try not to look at my ugly stomach for too long" I said harshly and avoided eye contact.
"It's not ugly. Your tummy is so very cute" He giggled.
I slid off my sweats.
Lance carefully took the hem of my shirt in his fingertips and pulled it over my head and arms.
"I'm not going to touch it since you don't like me touching very much" He said.
"Thank you" I said weakly.
I looked down and my stomach looks smaller for sure.
Lance gently took my left arm and undid the metal clasp on the bandage and carefully unwrapped it. Same with the other and laid them out on the counter.
I took the ones on my thighs off too.
"These are going to scar so, so bad. What was I thinking?" I whimpered.
"They'll just be a reminder of how brave and strong you are" Lance said.
"No...They'll be a big reminder of how cowardly I am" I whispered and felt a lump form in my throat.
"Don't say that Keith. You are not a coward,  Very much the opposite" Lance said and held my hands.
I couldn't even look at him.
"Can you come in with me? I hate to ask since you're looking so nice" I said softly.
"Of course I can" Lance smiled.
He let go of my hands and peeled off his cute shirt, jacket and everything else.
I turned away from him and stepped into the shower.
I turned the water on and let it warm up.
Lance gently put his hands on my waist just to let me know that he's here.
I felt warm.
I just got straight to business and washed my hair.
It feels so good to finally shower.
Lance rubbed my shoulders as I worked.
I washed every inch of my body but skipped the...injuries until the end.
I finally shakily picked up the soap.
Lance looked worried. His hair was all wavy from the water.
I started on my thighs.
I shuffled the soap around in my hands and got a nice foam before gently rubbing it in to get them all clean.
It hurt pretty bad.
I did both thighs, Now onto the big targets.
I was shaking so bad.
Lance held my waist and rubbed my sides to comfort me.
I made some bubbles again and rubbed my hands gently over the puffy wounds.
It hurt so bad, It stung like 1,000 wasps.
I fell to my knees and yelped out in agony.
"Hey hey Keith baby it's okay, It's okay" Lance cooed.
My skin felt like it was on fire.
I just quickly washed both arms and bit down on my lip so hard it bled.
I was crying at this point. I washed all the soap off and turned the water off and stumbled out of the shower.
I fell onto my knees again and whimpered.
Lance put a towel around me and helped me stand up.
Without a word Lance gently dried my arms off and wrapped my arms back up.
Same with my thighs.
Lance wrapped a towel around his hips. I did the same.
I groaned when I saw my stomach.
I have the start of an overhang that is bulging out over top of the towel.
I put both of my hands on it and sighed.
"So, So cute" Lance whispered and came up behind me and rested a hand on my tummy.
I wriggled out of his grasp.
I was embarrassed and tried to cover up my body as much as I could.
I quickly just slid my shirt back on.
"Awe Keith" Lance sighed.
I dried off my legs and slipped my underwear and pants back on.
Lance changed quickly.

We hung up the towels but didn't bother to dry our hair.
Lance then hugged me tightly.
"I'm so happy you're back my little boy. Please just stay here with us all. We'd miss you too much if you left" Lance said.
I noticed he was crying.
"I'm sorry Lance. I'm sorry..." I trailed off.
"Have you even thought about what this did to me or your parents?" He asked.
I looked at him confused.
"I saw the half dead body of the love of my life on this very floor. Covered in blood and clinging onto life. Do you think that's something I can just get over? I'm scarred Keith. I'm never going to forget that sight" He whimpered as a tear fell down his dark tan cheek.
"I don't think I'm recovering from that. It was the scariest thing I've ever seen. Horror movies can eat shit. I saw my true love almost die in front of me!" He cried.
"I'm sorry Lance" I whispered.
"Sorry isn't going to fix this Keith! You tried to fucking lill yourself. You almost died. Think about what this would of done to us all. You were just thinking of yourself" He spat.
I let go of him suddenly.
"How do you think Meenah and Cole would react? Christine and Dane coming home and telling them that their big brother isn't coming home. Think about that Keith! If you thought Meenah was in hysterics just a while ago...Just imagine.
Think about me. What would I have done when they told me? What would Pidge, Matt, Hunk and even Shiro have done?!" Lance yelled.
I sank to the floor.
Lance paused, As if he was trying to say something he shouldn't.
"D-Do you wanna know what Keith? I've never been suicidal but I was planning ways to do it if you didn't make it out of there! That's how badly this effected me" He sobbed.
I skittered into the corner and hugged my knees to my chest.
"You're never going anywhere without me. You're going to stay here, I will be by your side until the day we die. I love you Keith, But you made a really selfish and fucking stupid choice" Lance huffed and dried his eyes.
He helped me up and hugged me again.
We then heard a horrible boom from outside.
I screamed like a scared child and gripped onto Lance like a grappling hook.
"It's just a thunderstorm baby" Lance said.
"No! No. No, No" I whimpered and burried my face into Lance's chest.
"What's the matter?" He asked.
I didn't say anything.
"Oh shit-I-I forgot Keith I'm so sorry" Lance said and rubbed my back.
"I forgot you're afraid" He added.
Another clap of thunder came and I practically jumped onto Lance's frame.
"We'll spend some time with everyone later. We'll wait until it stops" Lance said.
I nodded.
We turned the bathroom lights off and he walked me to my room.
It was just how I'd left it.

Lance pov

I trotted downstairs to the kitchen.
Christine and Dane looked at me confused.
"Keith's in a bit of a panic right now. He despises thunderstorms so I'm just going to try and calm him for a bit okay? He's just a bit embarrassed right now" I explained.
"Thank you" Christine said and pulled me into a hug.
"Go keep him safe" Dane chuckled.
I nodded and ran back upstairs.

Keith pov

Each clap of thunder sounded like the items of furniture being knocked over, The sounds of beer bottles bring shattered against the walls...The faux leather belt being lashed across my bare back.
I don't like thunderstorms because they remind of when I was being abused.
"Don't like" is an understatement.
I'm not going being subtle about this.
I would get hit when thunderstorms occurred.
It was a sort of game the one foster father of mine would like to play.
A game that only was fun for him.
That man might of looked human but nothing about him was truly human.
Pure evil, If still infects my mind at times.

I would try and lock myself in the bathroom whenever I heard that first clap of thunder. But I would never be fast enough.
Each boom of thunder would result in a hit from whatever object that man could find.
My back is buzzing just thinking about it.
Those moments really scarred me as a young kid.

I crawled under my throw blanket as Lance entered the room.
He sat on the bed next to me and put an arm around me.
A loud burst of thunder came.
I screamed and snuggled so tight to him.
"He can't hurt you Keith. You're safe baby" Lance cooed and rubbed my back.
I've only told him this only once...he remembered...
This makes me feel better.
I wrapped my arms around Lance's waist.
I was laying down and he was sitting cross-legged.
He rubbed my back soothingly.

Lance pov

"Lance-I'm so scared. I don't like this. I just want it to stop" Keith whimpered.
I've never seen him this scared ever. Plus I've never been with him during a thunderstorm either.
With each boom of thunder Keith would jump as the noise would startle him.
He was absolutely distraught.

Keith told me only once late at night why he's so scared of them.
It still hurts me deeply to even think that Keith was abused so badly.
That foster "father" of his would beat him always during thunderstorms. It was his thing. He would hurt Keith almost every day but it just got worse during storms.
A fucking evil excuse of a man.
I still ask myself how anyone could hurt someone as sweet as Keith.
Especially Keith as a little kid.
I haven't ever seen pictures of him before the age of 13.
God I bet he was a cutie pie.

Keith's tears had stained my khaki shorts.
"It should be over soon baby. Please don't cry. You're safe. You're safe here with me Keith" I cooed and continued to rub circles on Keith's back through the covers.
At this point he was all cried out.
I scratched the back of his head gently. His damp shaggy hair between my fingers.
The thunder became more and more distant as the time progressed.
Soon you couldn't even hear it anymore.
The rain wasn't as heavy now and it was just sprinkling.
"It's over Keith. No more thunder" I whispered.
He lifted his head from my lap and looked up at me.
His face was red and his eyes were all puffy.
I wiped a tear from his cheek with my thumb.
"You're safe" I said and gave him a small smile.
He sat up next to me and just kinda stared at the flood and sniffled a few times.
"I'm sorry I'm such a coward. I'm 18 years old and I just had a meltdown over a thunderstorm. That's pathetic" Keith scoffed.
"You're not a coward Keith. You just have some old trauma that surfaces at times. You have a good reason to be scared" I explained and stroked his cheek.
Keith sighed.
I know he's not just thinking about the storm now.
He has a lot on his mind.
"Everyone wants to see you still. We should go downstairs" I said softly and stroked his hand.
Keith nodded and got up.
He gave one last sniffle and I got up too and hugged his little frame.
"You always give the best hugs" He giggled weakly.
I gave his forehead a little peck before heading back downstairs.
"Are you okay?" Christine asked him.
"I guess, but at least I'm not scared right now any more" He mumbled.
"I know you want family time now but can Lance please stay? I just need him a lot right now too" Keith said softly to Christine.
"Yeah I guess so" She sighed.
"I-I can leave Christine. I understand why you guys all want one on one time with him" I stammered.
"Don't worry about it Lance. You'll make him more comfortable so don't sweat it" She replied.
Keith then turned paler than usual and wobbled a bit. I quickly grabbed him and sat him down at the breakfast bar.
Christine looked panicked.
"Hey Keith? Are you okay?" She asked nervously.
Keith looked really weary.
"I'm okay. I just had to sit down" He murmured.
"Get him some more water please Lance" Dane spoke up.
I nodded.
I took the glass he had earlier and filled it up from their water cooler.
"We have Gatorade too do we not?" Christine asked.
"I think we do" Dane said.
"There's one bottle left...I hid it from Meenah because she drank all the others" Cole giggled.
"Cole!" Meenah whined.
Cole giggled mischievously and got up and ran into the pantry.
He climbed up a shelf and pulled a small bottle of blue Gatorade from behind a cereal box.
"You can have it Keef. You're sick so you need it" He said and put it on the counter.
"Thanks" Keith smiled.
"Drink up okay? We have to get some sort of nutrients and electrolytes in your system. You have to get strong again. You can barely stand up kiddo" Dane said and came over from the table to us.
He patted Keith's shoulder.
Keith took a big gulp of the water.
"I was thinking about this but do you guys have any pictures of Keith from when he was little? I've only seen a few of when he was 13 maybe 14 but that was like maybe 7 months ago" I asked both his parents.
Christine looked at Dane.
"I have a few of him in a folder when we first began to foster him" Christine said.
"Oh god please no" Keith huffed.
"I wanna see Keith as a baby!" Meenah squealed.
"We don't have any baby pictures. But I'll see what we have" Christine said.
Keith groaned.
"I have some. They're in my box of stuff in the hall closet. You can go look through them" He said annoyed.
Christine nodded and went into the hall and dug around for a minute.
"In the green box?" She called.
"Yeah" Keith grunted.
She then came back with a folder and a little box.
"I've never seen any from in here" She said and looked at the first few.
"Well I guess it's about time huh?" Keith chuckled.
I sat on the right side of Keith while
Meenah and Cole shared the stool to his left.
Dane looked over his shoulder and Christine stood next to me.
"You guys are crowding me jeez" He huffed.
We all moved back a bit.
Christine handed him the few photos from the tab folder now laid on the counter.
"These are his 5th, 6th and 7th grade school photos" She explained.
Meenah cackled at them.
The 5th grade one Keith was wearing a red polo shirt and had a front tooth missing. His hair was so long and straight it nearly reached his shoulders. He had the fakest smile across his face.
"I lost my baby teeth late" He explained unenthusiastically.
He pushed the small photo over to Meenah and Cole.
He brought the 6th grade one over and oh my god...
He has short hair!
His hair was short on the sides and longer on the top.
He looked very angry in the photo and was glaring into the camera.
He was wearing a tank top covered in Pokemon.
"Look at you!" I beamed.
"You look so grumpy in that one" Dane chuckled.
Then the 7th grade one.
"This was taken the year before we first brought you home" Christine sang.
"This is the photo that sold us into fostering you" She added.
Keith flipped it over and dear god was he ever cute in this one!
His hair was back to similar to what it is now. Shaggy and really emo looking. It was a tad bit wavy, Almost in beach waves.
He was wearing a button up black shirt with pokeballs as the pattern.
2 years of Pokemon shirts.
His face was thinner than before and his eyes were soft and rounded.
He looked a bit worried and confused.
The little "O" Mouth he had just made me want to squeal.
"You were such a cutie pie oh my god!" I exclaimed.
Keith groaned.
"That's what we thought. We saw that photo and read his synopsis online and just fell in love with him instantly. Who could say no to that cute little face? You were so small" Christine said and pinched Keith's cheek.
Keith was flushed from embarrassment.
Keith then opened the very thin box.
"I don't like any of these photos. They were all taken from my elementary and middle schools as photographing the kids was their forte. He explained. 
"I was going through a lot and I don't like remembering these years before I met you guys" He added.
Keith took out a picture of him and a group of a few girls and boys playing in a sand put.
The tiny Keith in the photo had messy hair and big frown across his face.
He couldn't of been older than 8.
"Even as a kid he was a little grouch" Dane teased.
Keith just put the photo in the ongoing pile.
He took out another one of him holding a soccer ball to his hip and he had a small smile on his face and a band aid on his cheek.
"This was in grade 3. I won a soccer game in gym and that was a big deal for me" Keith explained. He was all dirty and had grass stains in his knees.
The next one he pulled out I could tell he didn't like.
"Ugh this was in 4th grade when we all lined up against a wall from tallest to shortest...Guess who was the shortest...even including the girls?" Keith groaned.
All our eyes followed the line of smiling faces and right at the end was tiny little 4th grade Keith. His arms were crossed and he was pouting.
"You were the shortest even with all the girls!" Meenah howled with laughter.
Keith growled and shoved the photo into the pile.
"Here comes the middle school ones..."Keith trailed off.
He just didn't say a word and flipped over a few photos.
I barely even recognized him.
His face was pale and gaunt. His arms were almost skeleton like they were so small. His thighs were so far apart you could fit a whole fist between them.
Keith was with another boy and the boy was smiling but Keith wasn't.
"That was a friend" He mumbled.
"Jesus you looked like a skeleton" Dane put in.
Keith shoved that one aside.
The next was of him and two other boys sitting on a curb eating popsicles.
"8th grade" He mumbled.
It was kind of an artsy photo.
His hair was greasy and stringy. His wrist bones were sticking out and his knees were jutting out like daggers.
The other boys looked like twins.
"I remember those boys, The Dominick twins. They lived down the road from us. Keith would skateboard with them" Christine said and pointed to the blonde hair boys.
Keith really was anorexic...It was getting hard to look at how skinny he was.
I've never seen photos of him like this, It's almost gut wrenching how frail he looked.
The next one I had to look away. It was of Keith and a brown hair girl holding up a big longboard wearing skateboard helmets.
Keith's arm was so skinny you could nearly see the bone. He was smiling weakly and had bad eye bags.
"I remember her too. That was the day you two were riding that skateboard together" Christine said.
"I only took one or two of these" She added.

Dane and her know about Keith's previous eating disorder and are trying not to make a big deal out of it in front of the kids.
But they both looked nervous.
Keith brought out a few more of him with various kids. He still looked the same in them; Skinny, on the verge of death tired and just blank expressions.

Meenah held up one photo of him in a tank top and shorts, pouting.
"You were like a skinny stick!" She exclaimed.
"You're a chunky monkey now" Meenah giggled mischievously and poked Keith's tummy.
Keith looked taken aback and a little offended.
"Don't Meenah!" Christine hissed at her viciously.
"That's all I have" He said quickly and yanked the photo from his sister's hands and gathered the rest up and put them back in the box.
He got up fast.
"Don't tease him Meen. He just lost some weight you know? We should be proud of him" Dane scolded her.
"I'm sorry Keef" She apologized.
Keith was so done.
His face was flustered and embarrassed.
I kissed his cheek.
He got up and flopped down on the nearby loveseat.
I sat next to him.
"I happen to think you're the cutest chunky monkey" I giggled and squished Keith's chubby cheeks.
Keith glared at me.
"Grumpy grumpy" I sighed teasingly.
Keith crossed his arms and his cute belly jutted out from under his folded arms.
I ran my hand across it and Keith smacked it away.
Angry little thing, Jeez.
"Don't hit me" I giggled.
I then began ticking him.
Keith squealed in surprise and I pinned him down on the couch. I then pulled his shirt up and blew a raspberry on his squishy tummy.
"You're so chubby and cute!" I exclaimed and kissed him.
"Go easy on him Lance. Just be gentle" Christine warned and chuckled.
Keith then yanked his shirt down angrily.
I rested my hands on his tummy gently.
Keith was on the fence about this touching.
I gave his belly a little rub and smiled.
"I didn't know you were going to have a baby Keith" Meenah teased.
Keith looked horrified and quickly shoved my hands away and sucked his tummy in.

He covered his face from embarrassment then just snapped.
"I get it I'm fat. Can everyone PLEASE just lay off me? I've gained lots of weight yes, I'm fat, I have a big stomach. I get it. Enough talk about this from everyone. It's been months of just this garbage and I don't want to hear it anymore. Enough from you Lance, Enough from all of you too!
I-GET-IT! I don't need daily reminders of how big I've gotten or how I'm so fat I look like I'm pregnant. I don't want to be called names or touched. Just leave me alone already!" Keith screamed and got up from underneath me and stormed upstairs, fuming.
We heard his door slam.
"Meenah!" Dane barked at her.
She looked worried.
"Don't tease Keith about his big tummy okay? He really doesn't like it. He's trying his best to lose some weight and he just got out of the hospital. Keith is a boy so he can't have a baby anyway" Christine scolded her daughter.
"You guys were just saying how he looked like a skeleton. Is this not any better? He looks much healthier now than he did" I said and pointed to one photo on top of the box.
"I'm sorry" Meenah whimpered.
"Lance, You don't tease him either. I know he can take it from you better but you leave him alone too. He's so insecure right now and wants nothing more than attention being directed towards his body okay everyone?" Christine ordered.
"I just said earlier how great I think he looks like this. No more skeleton arms and sunken in face. I happen to think he looks fantastic a little bit larger. He looks healthy" Dane exclaimed.
"His belly and thighs make great pillows" I giggled.
"They do?" Meenah asked happily.
"Indeed. Maybe give him a few days to a week and he might let you rest on them like I tend to do. They're really soft" I giggled.
"I'm going to comfort  him" I announced and went upstairs.

I didn't knock before entering and Keith had his shirt pulled up and was poking at his belly.
He squeaked when he covered his middle.
He flushed with embarrassment.
"I'm sorry I've gotten so goddamn fat Lance. You fell in love with skinny, confident Keith. Now you have big fat insecure Keith" He sighed and sat down on his bed.
He shielded his tummy with his arms.
"You aren't fat Keith. You have never been fat. You look beautiful. You know I like you with a little extra cushion. I love your big butt and you're just so precious" I giggled and sat next to him.
"Your tummy makes the best pillow for when we watch movies" I added and gave him a peck on the cheek.
He smiled a small little grin at this.
"I just want to lose a few more pounds. I can't handle dieting and exercise. I despise it. I've always had a fast metabolism but it just slowed down recently. I'm really ashamed of myself really. I didn't mean to let it get this bad" He mumbled.
I put an arm around his shoulders.
"Nobody is mad at you but yourself. You need to learn to accept yourself for who you are; Which is a cute tiny boy with the sweetest yet spiciest personality out there. Nobody cares that you gained weight. People have noticed but nobody cares that much. There's absolutely nothing wrong with having a tummy. I've said this lots but it's true. I like Keith with a belly. It just makes you even cuter" I gushed.
Keith was blushing.
"I want to lose a bit more tummy fat. Just so it's not hanging over my pants so much. I'll keep some since everyone doesn't seem to mind. And I don't have the motivation to get back to my old shape" He explained.
"I still want my comfy thigh and belly pillows though!" I teased and kissed his nose.
"That really was not how I wanted my coming home to go. It wasn't good" Keith sighed.

We both shared some cool off time. Keith laid on his tummy and scrolled through Instagram.
A few messages from Hunk and Pidge he received just telling him to be positive and that they love him.
I had to be myself and I used his huge ass as a pillow. It was very comfy frankly.

When I finally calmed my feisty little Texan boy down, It was dinner time.
Christine texted Keith for us to come down.
Keith didn't want to move so I had to pull him to his feet.
I had my arm around his hips to steady him as we went down the stairs.
Keith's little face lit up when he saw the kitchen.
They got sushi for him.
He looked so happy.
"Awe...guys" He whined joyfully.
"We last minute ordered it from post mates" Dane laughed.
"I'm sorry I'm being such an ass" Keith apologized and hugged both his parents.
"Don't worry. You have good reason to be upset. You have a lot on your mind right now" Dane said.
He's so short compared to them awe.
"Somebody would like to apologize" Dane said and motioned for the ashamed looking Meenah to come over.
"I'm so sorry Keith! I didn't mean to hurt your feelings. I don't want you to be mad at me. I know you just got home and I missed you so much! I didn't mean what I said! Please please please please PLEASE forgive me!" She cried. Christine let go of him and he turned around and Meenah hugged into his waist.
She pushed her head into his tummy and I could tell she was comfy.
"It's okay Meen. I'm just being a grouch right now and overreacting" Keith said and hugged her back
"You're just a little Mr. Grumpy-pants all the time. Don't act like being grouchy for you is abnormal" I giggled.
"I agree with that!" Christine exclaimed.
"I do too" Dane added.
Keith frowned.
"You may be grumpy but we love you so much" Christine said and hugged him. Dane came over and did too. Cole and I had to join as well.
Keith finally smiled as he was wrapped in a big hug from us all.
"You guys are crushing me" He giggled.
"Sorry" I chuckled and we all let go.
"We all love you so much" I said and kissed Keith's chubby cheek.
"We got your favourite sushi" Christine said.
"I noticed" He laughed

We all ate so much sushi.
I'm really warming up to sushi. I wasn't a huge fan of it at first, but I understand why Keith likes it so much.

Christine suggested we go to bed early. Keith needs some good sleep.
At around 9 pm Keith was getting sleepy.
Him and I were sat at the breakfast bar making some cute but cheesy string bracelets.
Meenah and Cole were sat next to me colouring and giggling.
It was just a calm and pretty night.
Christine and Dane were sat at the kitchen table just chatting and watching us.
Like I said: Keith was getting sleepy and rested his head on my shoulder.
"You tired?" I asked him and rubbed his side.
"Mhm" He replied bleakly.
"Let's get you to bed then" I said.
Keith agreed.
I cleaned up the string bracelets and put them in their container.
"Off to bed?" Dane asked.
I nodded.
"Carry me Lance" Keith mumbled sleepily.
"As you wish Princess Keith" I chucked.
I scooped him up bridal style.
"Goodnight Keith" Christine laughed.
He lazily waved to everyone.

In under 5 minutes Keith and I were both in our underwear and in his bed.
Sleepy little Keith was snuggled up right next to me, Hands around my waist.
"Goodnight Lance. I love you so much baby" Keith said softly and kissed me sweetly.
"Night Keithy. I love you too, So much. I'm so happy you're home now" I smile smiled and kissed him back.
He squeaked happily.
I gave him some sweet kisses on his chubby cheeks and nose.
Then we decided to call it a night and decided to go to sleep.

Lance pov

It's been a long time since we've slept over at each other's houses.
I forgot how soft Keith's bed is.

I was jolted awake by his screams in the middle of the night.
I sat up and he did too.
He was screaming literal bloody murder and began to cry.
That was I think the loudest I've heard him scream.
Keith clung onto me and sobbed into my shoulder.
Christine and Dane then rushed into the room with terrified looks on their faces.
"What happened?!" Christine yelled.
Keith was totally distraught.
I rubbed his back, His body was really hot.
"Keith hey, What's wrong?" Christine asked.
She sat by my knees and touched Keith's shoulder.
Keith just gripped onto me and continued to sob.
"I don't want to die" He whispered between a sob.
"I caused everyone so much pain. I'm sorry...I-I had a nightmare that I really did die and the rest of you did too-I can't handle that. I don't want to die, I can't die. I don't too!" He cried.
I felt the wetness of his tears.
Christine tried to put her hands on his bare sides to pull him away from me, He was holding onto me really hard.
Keith just wailed and scooted closer to me.
"You're safe Keith. We're all safe" Dane cooed.
Meenah and Cole sleepily stood in the doorway.
Dane got up and pushed them out and went into their room with them.
"You're safe baby" I said gently and continued to rub his back.
"I don't want to die" He whispered.
Christine just looked at me concerned.
"Keith honey you're digging your nails into his shoulders" She said and tried to pull him off me.
Keith released his grip on me and Christine pulled him off me.
"Move your big butt" She chuckled and pushed him over. Closer to the wall so she had more room to sit.
I rubbed his side.
"We're safe Keith. We're not going anyway. Neither are you" Christine said.
Keith scooted close to me again, Smushing his face into his duvet.
It was only covering his calves.
He's only in his underwear so Christine covered him up.
"That's only for Lance to see" She chuckled and gave his butt a little pat.
"Stop!" Keith groaned into covers.
Me and her laughed.
"You're suffocating yourself Keithy" I said and tried to pull him up.
"Sit up please" Christine added.
He lazily sat up and crossed his legs.
His stomach folded into a few soft little tummy rolls.
"Cute" I giggled and ran both my hands over them.
"Don't touch my fat" He grumbled.
"Your tummy is cute. It's like a baby's" I said.
"He's getting grumpy, Leave him alone" Christine cautioned.
"You would never get mad at me would you?" I said in a baby voice and put my arms around his waist.
"As much as I want to punch you at times, I want to kiss you more" He mumbled.
I gave him a loud and dramatic kiss on the cheek.
"You're safe Keith. We're all here for you, But you need some sleep" I said and hugged him like a big teddy bear.
"Are you okay?" Christine asked him and stroked his hair.
Keith nodded.
"I'm gonna go help the kids get back into bed. Do you got him Lance?" She asked.
"I got him, I'll help him get back to sleep" I assured her.
She gave Keith a kiss on the head and said goodnight to us then left.
I squeezed Keith tightly.
"Ow, Too hard" He whined.
I loosened my grip.
"I'm sleepy now" He whined.
"Well let's get you back to bed then princess" I said.
I let go of his little body and got him back under the covers.
Keith snaked his arms around my waist and pressed himself right to my back.
He poked my tummy a few times just for payback.
Keith kissed my back then nuzzled his face into my neck and fell asleep there soon after.
Poor baby.

The next morning I woke up before Keith which was nice.
I could watch my sleepy little angel for a while.
He needs good rest.
I propped my pillow up so I could watch him.
This isn't creepy, I've done this lots.
Keith's hair was a mess and was scattered all over the place.
He was breathing softly, Soft plump, chubby cheeks pressed to his pillow.
I smiled at him and reached my hand over to stroke his hair.
"I missed you so much" I whispered.
His eye lids then fluttered open.
"Sorry! Did I wake you?" I asked.
He nodded sleepily.
"Sorry princess" I said and kissed his forehead.
"It's fine" He yawned.
"You can go back to sleep. Don't mind me" I said.
"It's okay Lance, Just cuddle me okay? I missed that" He said.
I nodded furiously.
I put my arms around his waist and pulled his smaller body right to mine.
I nuzzled my face into his neck. His soft hair greeting me. I kissed his neck a few times.
Keith giggled.
"You need to shave, You're all prickly" He grumbled.
"I barely grow any facial hair, I don't know what you're talking about" I chuckled.
"Your chin! It's all poky!" He squeaked.
I felt my chin and I'll admit it's a bit spiky.
"What about you?" I asked and felt his face with my hand.
"I don't grow any, I've only shaved a few times. It's hard for me to grow any" He replied.
"But you need to shave! You're poking me!" He complained.
I just kissed him on his jaw and neck.
"It tickles!" He squeaked.
"Suffer!" I teased and got his arms in my grip too so he couldn't move.
"Lance!" Keith whined. I smooched his back and bare shoulder.
He sighed and just gave up.
"I thought you wanted me to get more sleep!" He mumbled.
"Okay okay. Go to sleep cutie pie" I said and kissed his cheek.
I loosened my grip on him and just left my arms around his waist.

I ended up falling back asleep too.

Keith pov

When I woke up again Lance was awake.
I rolled over and smiled at his pretty face.
"Mm you're so handsome" I grinned and laid on my stomach and stared at him.
"Why thank you, You're not too bad lookin' yourself" He said in a really bad southern accent.
"I love you" I said and kissed his pointy little nose.
"I love you too" Lance replied and kissed above my top lip.

The next few weeks went by.
I didn't go back to school until the second week of June.
I have a lot to catch up on.
I spent all that time catching up on sleep, Catching up on gossip with everyone over Skype. I was really looking after myself well thanks to some of Lance's self-care tips he'd given me.
Taking baths, Reading, Painting my nails and organizing my room.
I've lost a bit more weight, Maybe 5 pounds as I've been going on walks and eating better which has sped up my metabolism.
My tummy isn't as big as it was but it's still really soft and pudgy.

My bandages officially came off on the 10th after weeks of urgent and constant cleaning.
My doctor gave me the thumbs up to finally remove them.
He himself even said that the scars would be nasty so he prescribed me some scar cream. It'll reduce the amount of scar tissue that's already forming on my injuries.

The 13th was when I came back to school.
It then all hit me at once.
This week marks a year since we moved and since I met Lance.
I can't believe it's been this long.
My first day back was nerve wracking.
I was wearing short sleeves as it's supposed to be getting past 100 degrees today.
My doctor said to wear short sleeves to let my arms breath and all.
I felt horribly insecure.
I felt like everyone was staring at me but I doubt that was the case.
I lit up when I saw Lance, Hunk, Pidge and Matt all waiting for my by my locker.
A big grin spread across my face.
Hunk ran up to me and literally
swept me off my feet into a big bear hug.
"I missed you so much Keith! Please never leave again! We all love you too much" He cried.
I laughed.
I hugged him back once my toes hit the floor.
Pidge hugged me next and she's never much of a hugger.
"Welcome back" She said softly.
I held her little head to my chest.
I rested my chin in her fluffy hair.
"I'm happy to be back" I mumbled.
She finally let go after almost a full minute.
"You look stylish as usual" I commented.
She beamed.
She was wearing a green and white striped shirt under a pair of short overalls and knee high socks.
Matt was the last to hug me.
He's a bit of an awkward hugger but this time he was good.
"Welcome back you emo dork" He teased and gave me a noogie.
I giggled.
"You've lost weight. You look good man" He commented.
"T-Thanks" I said nervously.
I was wearing some new black jeans and my rainbow tie-dye shirt that's still just a bit tight in the tummy.
Nothing I can't handle though.
"Uh I think you're forgetting someone here!" Lance exclaimed and held his arms out.
He looks super cute.
A blue tank top with little sharks all over it and jeans similar to mine but with rips in the knees.
"Hmm I think I hugged everyone here..." I teased and tapped my finger to my chin.
Lance looked offended.
"I'm kidding!" I laughed.
I ran over to him and he wrapped his arms around my waist and hugged my tight, Kissing me while he was at it.
I cupped his face.
"How could I ever forget you?" I giggled when we broke away.
"Y'all are still disgustingly cute" Matt teased.
I kissed his stupid nose and ran my hands through his short soft hair.
"Welcome back" Lance said and rubbed my back.
I kissed his cheek.
He let his hands trail down my back and he grabbed my ass right there in the middle of the hall.
"Okay nope! None of that!" I squeaked and squirmed away from him.
He chuckled.
I put my books in my locker after struggling to remember my combo.
Pidge saw my arms and gave me a sympathetic look.
"Should we get to class then?" Lance asked.
I nodded.
He took my hand and we went out separate ways.
I've barely been here for any of semester 2. I have to write my first semester exams in the summer as I missed them.
I couldn't even remember what class this was.
"What class is this?" I asked Lance.
He laughed.
"Psychology" He replied.
I nodded and sat down next to him.
"How are you feeling?" He asked.
"Tired, And I'm hungry. My diet has been killing me" I sighed and rested my head on his shoulder.
"You're still on a diet?" Lance asked, Shocked.
"Yes" I said softly.
"You look perfect" Lance replied.
I sighed.
"You've lost a decent amount of weight Keith. I think you're good" Lance said.
"I lost 10.5 pounds in the hospital, Then 5 in the first 2 weeks after but I just gained the 5 back" I huffed.
"I still have some to lose" I added.
"You look gorgeous. I'll never be able to tell you that enough. Keep some belly chub, It'll help keep ya warm" Lance giggled and poked my stomach.
"I'll think about it" I mumbled.

Psychology was actually pretty cool!
We were learning about the minds of criminals, It was fascinating really.

Next I had English with Lance and Hunk.
The teacher is a bit of a strange old women but that's what has made Shakespeare fun.
The class was just finishing off Macbeth.
Shakespeare is always boring but the wacky old lady made it fun.
Her name is Ms. Trundle.

Then it was lunch.
All I brought was a bento box like think of veggies and a bag of banana chips.
I've just had such a bad relationship with food in the last few months.
I'm almost scared of food now.
Food and my ungodly amount stress is what got me so fat in the first place.
I just don't want to be that big again. I know I'm only 10 pounds lighter but it feels like 50.

"Is that all you brought?" Hunk asked me.
Hunk always has yummy lunches. Lots of different things as he loves to cook.
"Hm? Yeah" I replied.
"You used to bring more than that" Pidge said.
"What? Are you on a diet or something?" Matt teased me.
I squirmed.
"I am actually" I mumbled.
"Leave him alone!" Lance snapped.
"It's fine Lance, Let him say what he wants" I said, Mood dropping a few notches.

Lance pov

"Heya Matt buddy, Could I take to you for a minute?" I said in a fake enthusiastic tone.
"I uh-sure" He said and got up.
I lead him to the corner of the rooftop where nobody else could hear us.
"I don't want to go full protective boyfriend mode but you gotta leave Keith alone. Don't mention his weight, Don't mention what he eats or even what he wears!" I hissed at my friend.
"Keith is not happy with the way he looks and I'm trying my hardest to boost his confidence and I don't want anything to crush that. Even just teasing can do a lot of harm to him. If you just noticed his mood changed just like that. Just don't tease him Matt, That's my baby okay?" I explained.
"I'm sorry man. I know Keith's going through some hard shit still. I'll lay off" Matt said. He looked ashamed.
"Thank you. I appreciate it. Keith just needs all the support he can right now" I said and patted his shoulder.
We came and sat back down.
Keith looks sad now.
"Eat up. Get some food in your system" I said to Keith.
He nodded and took a bite of a carrot from his little box.
He's miserable eating this stuff.
I then remembered what my mom packed me in my lunch.
I pulled out a puffed wheat square and broke it in half and gave one side to Keith.
"Wha? What is this?" He asked.
"A homemade puffed wheat square. They're so good babe. Try it. You deserve a treat" I smiled.
Keith carefully took the half of the piece from my hand and took a small bite.
He smiled.
"Good huh?" I asked him.
"Mhm!" He nodded and took another bite.
"I'll ask my mom to pack an extra for you tomorrow" I said.
"Don't worry about that Lance" Keith said.
"You can eat some sugar sir. It won't kill you" I chuckled.
Keith sighed and took another bite.

Keith pov

I felt guilty after eating the puffed wheat square.
I've been so self-conscious about people watching me eat.
I'm just convinced that whenever I eat everyone around me is thinking shit like:
"What a pig"
"Fatass"
"Cow"
All that.
I'm sure it's not true but I just hate eating around people now.

Lance could sense I was uncomfortable and stopped talking about food.
I snuggled close to him and he rubbed my thigh.
"You're okay cutie pie" Lance cooed and kissed my cheek.
I'm so nervous at school now.
I get nervous and scared so easily now.
The thought of the notes still scratch my mind.
Nothing has come from that last one. Whoever that is deserves to burn in hell. They caused all this: My fall back into depression, Extreme stress, Self-doubt, Returning to self-harm, Suicidal thoughts, An eating disorder I never thought I'd experience.
All of this just from some letters.
I hate whoever it is.
The letters were so ominous that it was cheesy to read.
I just still can't believe I let myself get as bad as I did.
I could of eaten myself to death honestly. Good thing I stopped. I'm STILL not used to being so big. My stomach and just everything is so big and I hate it. I've been over this before but I just think about it constantly now.
Where did my flat stomach go?
What is all this weight stuck to my body now?
I can't even see my dick at times.
My stomach is too big.
I want my small body back, This is foreign. I feel like I need to try and make myself  look as small as possible at all times. I have to look little.
I now can't have people watch me eat. Well I can, I'd just rather nobody watches me.
I'm not used to wearing such big and baggy clothes. I just want to wear crop tops and shorts again. I want to become the person Lance fell in love with...Not whoever this nervous, paranoid, easily startled little fat boy is. I don't know who I've become.