Anguish: severe mental or physical pain or suffering.

Keith pov

My vision was becoming spotted and my body began to ache.
Blood was soaking into my clothes and pooling around my arms.
I moved my leg and knocked over the bottle of pills I'd just downed half of.

"Lance please" I cried softly into my phone. I wiped my eyes and blood got onto my face.
I whined and tried to get it off but just smeared my bloody hands all over my face and hair.
I tried to put more pressure on the wounds but my arms were weak.
I picked up my phone.
"I'm coming over right now Keith, Please hang on baby, I'm coming!" Lance sobbed.
I smiled softly at the ray of hope that was his just spoken words.
"Thank you" I said softly.
I heard Lance yell to his family and I heard him rush out the door with his keys and into his car.
"Fuck distracted driving, Just this once" I heard him mumble.
I felt my lungs tighten up and the pounding in my chest slow down.
"Lance-I'm so scared" I whispered.
"I'm coming angel" He said and I heard his car start up.
I heard sirens in the distance.
Tears mixed with the blood smeared on my face.

I know it's cheesy but my life flashed before my eyes like a movie.
I remembered my foster father and the way the cigars burned into my skin, The way his hands and feet felt as they were thrown against my body.
I remember crying and hiding under my bed as he yelled at me.
I remember that family with all the kids that I didn't get along with.
I remember all the foster families that didn't want me.
I remember the first boy I liked, The first time I realized I liked boys, The first time I got punched in the face.
I remember all the kids I punched, all the people I fought.
I remember the vague things I remember about my birth father.
I remember the day Christine and Dane brought me home, The day I met them and the day I met the kids.
I remember the day Christine gave me the first hug I'd received in a year, The night she kissed my forehead goodnight.
I remember the day I told myself that I liked boys.
I remember the day I changed, When I had a change of heart and realized the world wasn't totally against me.
I remember the day I fell off my bike, Racing home from kids who were chasing after me from school. I remember scraping my knees against the concrete and running the rest of the way home.
I remember the hot Texas sun, The way it would beat down on me.
I remember when I came out to Christine and Dane, The first time we went out for dinner and a movie together.
I remember the day we moved, Dane patting the truck and Christine yelling at me to not break the dishes.
I remember putting my hair in a ponytail.
I remember the first time I saw the house, The first night. The way my ceiling looked weird without my nirvana poster.

I remember the first day I met Lance, When he crashed into me and how mad I got.
I remember his face and how his pretty sea blue eyes sparkled at me when they met mine.
I remember when I fell in love with him, When we went to that bridge, The night we made out.
I remember the first time we held hands, The first time we kissed.
I remember when he hugged and cuddled for the first time.
I remember our first date and all of our dates.
I remember our first I love you's.
I remember when we went camping, When we fell completely and utterly in love with each other.
I remember when he met my family and when I met his.
I remember the first time I cried in front of him, When he pointed out my scars, When I told everything to him, When he told me everything.
I remember the first time we had sex and all times afterwards.
I remember our birthdays and when Lance gave me the promise rings.
I have never loved anyone more than I love Lance.
I love him so much and I love my family.
Why did I do this??
What have I done??
I looked at my blood covered hands and saw my promise ring covered in blood.
I let out one last sob.

I felt my breaths shorten.
"I'm almost there baby" I hear Lance say.
"Lance" I said, Barely audible.
"Yes?" Lance said, His voice so raw.
"I love you, So much" I said.

Lance pov

The ambulance and a police car were in the driveway.
Christine's suv was on the sidewalk.
I parked right behind Christine.
I yanked my keys out of the ignition and ran out of my car and up the driveway.
The front door was wide open.
"You can't go inside!" I heard a paramedic yell from behind me.
I didn't listen and bounded up the stairs to where I heard someone ordering people around and Christine crying.
I saw Dane at the end of the hallway holding both kids in his arms.
"Lance!" He cried.
I wiped the tears from my eyes.
I saw paramedics standing in the edge of the bathroom.
I walked over swiftly and shoved past the two paramedics.
I saw Keith's unmoving body in Christine's arms.
The floor was almost COVERED in blood, Ths floor was smeared with bloody handprints and fingerprints.
Keith's phone was still on, It was still dialled my number.
I hung up on my phone.
Multiple deep gashes were in Keith's wrists and arms.
Blood was all over his face and in his hair.
Christine was cradling Keith's head.
Tears rushing down her face.
I fell to my knees and held his pale hands.
My fingers were soon covered in his blood.
I held one of the gashes to try and stop the bleeding.
"Keith, Hey Keith baby I'm here" I said and moved some damp hair from his face.
"Please tell me he's not dead" I said.
"He's in critical condition" Christine mumbled.
"You can't be in here, We need to get hon to the hospital" One of the paramedics barked.
"I'm his boyfriend! I have the damn right to be here!" I shouted.
One of them grabbed Christine and the other me.
I screamed and kicked.
There were in total 6 paramedics.
3 ran over to Keith.
"He's almost completely severed one of his main veins, He's going to bleed out" One of them said. They put gloves on and got gauze pads and put pressure on Keith's horribly mutilated arms.
I've never seen something so horrifying in my whole life.
My boyfriend...My small little boyfriend, The love of my life unconscious and bleeding on the bathroom floor.
"Keith!" I screamed as two picked him up and ran downstairs.
The paramedic held me back.
I glanced over at Dane and the kids. Meenah was sobbing and gripping her fathers pant leg.
I kicked away from the strong woman that was holding me and ran down the stairs with Christine at my heels.
"Stay here Dane!" She ordered.
I almost fell down the stairs but didn't.
I burst out of the front door as they put Keith onto a stretcher.
Blood was dripping from his arms and onto the concrete driveway.
Two of them hurriedly wheeled Keith into the back of the ambulance.
Christine ran after them and I after her.
She helped me into the scary looking ambulance.
"Are you a family member?" One of the paramedics snapped.
"No, I'm his partner" I explained.
"You can't be here, You need to leave" He said.
"Let him stay!" Christine yelled.
They were too busy to argue.
The doors were shut behind us and Christine sat me down.
Keith's face was pale and almost lifeless.
Why?
Why did he have to do this?
I rubbed Christine's back as we sped off.
4 paramedics were yelling orders at each other and they wiped the blood from Keith's face and arms and began to wrap the gashes with heavy gauze.
I cried into my hands.
"Why Keith" I cried softly.
"He's losing too much blood" One of then said.
How is this happening??
What if Keith dies?
...What if Keith dies?

When we got to the hospital Keith was rushed to the ICU.
Christine and I rah after the paramedics but were told that we have to wait outside of his room.
I collapsed to my knees on the hospital floor.
I was sobbing.
Christine sat next me to and hugged me tightly.
"He's going to be okay Lance" She assured me.
Is he though?

We were escorted to the waiting room and I sat in a chair crying as Christine consoled me.
She dried my tears and kissed my forehead.
Within a few minutes I saw Dane and the kids come in.
Meenah ran over to Christine and hugged her.
"Mama, Is Keith okay?" She cried.
Her blonde hair was a mess and he face was bright red from crying.
"I'm sure he is baby" She said.
I got up and found a bathroom so I could wash Keith's blood off my hands.
I hate this.

I came back out and we waited for almost 3 goddamn hours.
We were finally allowed it, Only Christine and I came in.
Keith's frail body was laying in a hospital bed.
He was in a hospital gown, His soft belly pressed against the thin fabric.
He had an oxygen mask and an IV.
Both of his arms were bandaged from his wrists to his elbows.
At the sight of him I began to cry again.
"How is he doing?" I asked quietly.
"He's not doing great, He's lost almost 7% of his blood" One of the doctors next to me said.
That made my stomach churn.
"7%?!" Christine exclaimed.
The doctor nodded.
Christine slowly walked over to him and cupped his pale face.
"What happened? What's the full story?" Christine asked.
"He obviously made a suicide attempt. He swallowed almost half a cup of Anti depressants. That alone almost stopped his part. In total he has 12 self inflicted wounds on his arms, 6 on each side. We just pumped his stomach and we're getting some fluids into him right now" A nurse explained.
"And you are his...?" The doctor asked Christine.
"Mother" She said.
"And you?" She asked me.
I paused.
"I'm his boyfriend" I explained.
The doctor pursed her lips and nodded. Christine stroked his hair and carefully picked up his hand and kissed it.
She spent about 5 minutes with him then let me have my turn.
I anxiously sat in the chair next to his bed.
I stared at him.
His eyes closed and breathing steadily, His heart monitor beeping.
I held his hand which was very cold. I held it to my lips and kissed his knuckles.
A tear rolled down my cheek and into his skin.
Keith shifted a bit and my heart jumped.
I saw his bloodshot eyes tear open and he looked terrified.
He sat up quickly and began to hyperventilate again.
He ripped the oxygen mask off.
He was shaking.
"Hey, Hey Keith it's okay" I cooed.
A nurse came and put his mask back on and laid him back down.
He was panicking.
Christine ran over and cupped his face.
"It's okay honey, You're safe" Christine whispered to him.
Keith was so upset.
He was silently crying, Tear slowly running down his cheeks and onto his oxygen mask.
I clutched his hand tightly and kissed his knuckles again.
"I'm so sorry" I whispered.
Keith raised the same hand and touched my cheek gently.
I held it there with mine.
"I'm here now, I'm not going anywhere" I smiled weakly.
"I love you" I said.
Keith's body was so cold and shaky.
Keith's weak hand fell back down but I caught it and held it again.
Dane then entered and just one look at his weak son barely clinging to his life made his eyes become shiny and wet.
Dane covered his face with a hand.
Meenah and Cole peeked into the room and Meenah began to FREAK out.
"Keith!" She screamed and tried to run to him but Dane grabbed her.
"Daddy no let go! I need to see him. Keith, Keith!" She screeched. Dane threw the small girl over his shoulder and took Cole's hand as they went back to the waiting room.
Keith's eyes met mine and they closed.
His heart monitor was still going.
"We should let him rest" Christine said and put an arm on my shoulder.
"I don't want to leave him" I whimpered.
"Come on Lance" Christine said softly.
"No!" I cried and clutched Keith's bandaged arm.
"I'm not leaving you" I whispered.
Christine let go and went and stood in the corner of the scarily neat hospital room.
Keith's hand went limp as he fell asleep.