Caleb

She's not talking to me.

Eversince we got off that fucking elevator, hindi na niya 'ko kinausap ng matino. I tried to explain to her na ginawa ko lang 'yun dahil ayokong mabulilyaso ang misyon niya, but she didn't listen. She just stood there, nodded and silently went to her room.

That's it. Ni ha, ni ho, wala! Nothing!

Who the hell am I kidding anyway?

Hindi ko lang ginawa ‘yon dahil ayokong makita siya ni Axel o para protektahan ang lintek na misyon namin, ginawa ko 'yon kase gusto ko! Gusto ko siyang halikan! I'm dying to kiss her! Lalaki lang ako! And I like her. And I was so turned on! What the hell am I supposed to do? She said, Caleb, do something! 

Ginawan ko ng paraan..

And now she's mad at me? Oh hell fucking no!

Nabubwisit ako! At sa sobrang bwisit ko, guess what? I called my menace of a cousin, Ava. Alam kong pagsisisihan ko ito sa bandang huli, but I've got no choice, I'm taking my chances.

"Hi, my handsome cousin, what's up? To whom do I owe this pleasurable call of yours?"

I groaned as I heard her purr on the other end of the line.  Napailing ako. This woman is a whack job. Napabuga ako ng hangin. Here goes nothing.. "Listen, Ava, I have a situation.."

"What? Are you in jail?" she asked, chuckling. Ni hindi man lang kababakasan ng pagaalala ang tinig niya.

Sometimes, I wanna crowbar this little piece of shit. Kung hindi ko lang siya kadugo, masasaktan ko sya eh. At kung hindi ko lang kailangan ng makakausap ngayon, na maaaring makaintindi sa kung ano’ng nararamdaman ni Natzkie ngayon, I wouldn't call her. May saltik ang babaeng ito. She even told me once, she had a crush on me. Nakakarimarim.

"No, Ava. I kissed a girl."

"What the fuck is the matter, it certainly isn't your first kiss. I am-"

"Shut up!!" suyang suya na saway ko. Shit! I knew it! I shouldn't have called her! Pero wala naman kasi akong choice! Wala akong kaibigang babae! I'm not going to call my exes, I'm not that crazy!  At lalong hindi ko tatawagan ang mga gago kong kaibigan. That would be insane. Suicidal, even. At oo! Fuuuuuck! Ava's my first kiss.

Napailing ako. Don't ask me why, when, where or how. Just fucking don't ask me! It's creeping me out! Hinimas himas ko ang mga braso ko dahil pinananayuan ako ng balahibo.

"Eh sa totoo naman eh." she said in a teasing voice.

Napaupo ako sa kama ko. "Pwede ba Ava, wag na nating pagusapan 'yan? Forget about it! May problema 'ko and I need your advice, be a good cousin to me, alright?"

"Okaaay.." she giggled. "Hindi ko na ipapaalala sa'yo that I was the one who taught you how to kiss."

I let that pass. Hindi ko hahayaang idistract ako ng babaing ito. Mas importante si Natalie kaysa sa katotohanang pinsan ko ang first kiss ko. I took a deep steadying breath. "So, here it goes.. I kissed a girl.. And I don't think she liked it." hininaan ko ang boses ko dahil baka marinig ako ni Natalie. Baka lalo pa siyang magalit sa’kin.

The next thing I knew, Ava was laughing like a maniac on the other line. Hay bwisit 'tong babaeng 'to! Ano bang nakakatawa? Ngali ngali ko nang ihagis ang cellphone ko sa dingding!

"She didn't like it? You mean you sucked at kissing? Ew Caleb! What happened to what I taught you? Had I known na hindi ka naman pala natuto, sana rumound two pa tayo!" she said. Hindi parin siya matigil tigil sa katatawa. Gago talaga. Siguro dapat si RD na lang ang tinawagan ko? At least kung tawanan man niya 'ko, matatanggap ko. Coz that's what bros do. They laugh at your shit but still would end up helping you. Hindi katulad ng bwisit kong pinsan! Hell, why did I ever thought of her helping me? Demonyita nga pala ang babaeng ito!

"Stop it, Ava!" gigil na sabi ko. "I mean.. Hindi niya gusto na hinalikan ko siya, not that she didn't like it coz I sure as hell she did!"

"Oooh! Yabang!"

"Tumigil ka na ha? Napipikon na 'ko."

"Alright, jeez! Keep your hair on, couz!" tumawa ulit siya. "Why do you think hindi nya nagustuhan na hinalikan mo siya? Did you force her? Ohh! Don't tell me, you planned on raping her?"

"Don't be an idiot!" ikinuwento ko sa kaniya ang nangyare. Simula umpisa kung paano ako blinackmail ni Natalie into helping her snag her boyfriend back. I can't believe I feel kind of relieved right now. Parang may malaking tinik sa lalamunan ko na biglang natanggal.

"Wait a minute?" ani Ava. "Let me make this clear, okay? She blackmailed you and now you're helping her so she could have her boyfriend back who you set up with Heather so you could get away from your engagement?"

I nodded. "Yes."

"And now, you end up liking her? How in hell are you going to help her kung gusto mo na siya?!" she shrieked. "Paano na ‘yan? Are you still going to help her? Shit! I don't want you getting hurt, couz! Just shit! Patay ka d’yan!"

It was my turn to laugh. Tama naman siya, patay talaga 'ko sakaling magkabalikan nga 'yung dalawa. Hell, hindi ko alam kung anong gagawin ko kung mangyare man 'yun. Pero as of now, I'm determined to make her fall for me. I'm gonna make her realize that guy isn't even a half of the man that I am!

But first, I gotta get out of this shit I'm in. Kailangan ko maintindihan. Ano ba talagang nangyare kay Natalie? She responded with my kiss, for heaven's sake! Hindi mo pwedeng sabihin na ayaw niya na halikan ko siya! Kase tumugon naman siya eh! Shit talaga, naguguluhan ako! Ang hirap intindihin ng mga babae! Fu-ck, women should come with an instruction manual!

"Are you gonna help me, or are you just gonna keep on yakking there?" naiiritang tanong ko.

"She's probably just confused, my dear cousin." She lazily answered. "You said, she's still after her ex. What do you expect her to feel? Or do? Jump from one guy to another?"

She had a point. Hindi ang tipo ni Natalie ang basta basta na lang magpapalit ng lalaki. She's likely thinking right now. Baka naguguluhan nga siya. "What do i do?"

"Give her some space, man!"

I sighed. Space? Kaya ko kayang ibigay 'yon? Parang hindi yata. What if bigyan ko nga siya ng space? Knowing Natalie, baka kinukumbinsi na niya ang sarili nya ngayon na mahal niya si Axel at hindi nya dapat nararamdaman 'to para saakin. That is, kung may feelings nga siya para saakin. I can feel she's attracted to me—coz, seriously? Who in her right mind wouldn't be? 

Pero anong laban ng attraction sa love?

"Seryoso ka ba sa ginagawa mo? Ha, Caleb?" untag ni Ava sa kabilang linya. "Alam mo ba 'yang pinapasok mo?"

I fiddled with my fingers. "I honestly don't know, Ava."

"Hindi mo sigurado? Dude, if you're not sure, you might as well back off a little." aniya. "Magiging rebound ka, Caleb Damien, okay lang ba sayo 'yun? Sa totoo lang, yun na nga ang pinakamagandang scenario na pwedeng mangyare. Pwedeng maging panakip butas ang labas mo niyan. Papayag ka ba?"

Shit. Why didn’t I think of that? Me? Panakip butas? No! Fuck no!

"Hinay hinay lang," payo ni Ava. "I know, for sure, this girl is attractive. Para ma-hook ka ng ganyan?" I heard her sigh on the other line. "You're my cousin, Caleb. Ayokong masaktan ka."

Nahulog ako sa malalim na pagiisip matapos ang usapan namin na 'yon ni Ava. Pati ako ngayon, naguluhan na. What if maging panakip butas nga ako ni Natalie? Rebound? No biggie. I can deal with that! Pero yung maging panakip butas? That's gonna hurt like a motherfucker.

---

Natalie

Nakakabingi ‘yung katahimikan sa loob ng sasakyan ni Caleb habang pauwi kami ng maynila. Kulang na lang talaga yung effects na kuliglig. Kahit pa gusto ko sana siyang kausapin, hindi ko naman magawa. Wala kase akong maisip na sabihin. Parang kahit anong sabihin ko, magiging mali sa pandinig nya. Isa pa, mukhang wala siya sa mood. Base na rin sa pagiging tahimik niya at nakasalubong ang mga kilay nya. Baka barahin nanaman niya 'ko.

Nakuntento na lang ako sa pagsasight seeing. I didn't dare look at him. Ayoko.

Maaalala ko nanaman kase yung halikan namin sa elevator. I blushed furiously. Tumingin na lang ako sa labas at baka mapansin pa ni sungit na namumula ako. 

Never in my life have I been kissed that way. Sumasasal ang tibok ng puso ko just by thinking of it! Hindi naman iyon ang first kiss ko, at kung minsan nake-carried away din kami ni Axel sa mga make out sessions namin. Pero yung paraan ng paghalik sakin ni Caleb kagabi.. Hindi ko maidescribe!    Nanginig ng husto ang tuhod ko nun! Naramdaman ko yung dila nIya sa labi ko! At kung hindi pa nagsalita yung lalaking kasama namin sa elevator, baka nadevirginize na ng dila nIya ang bibig ko!!

Hindi ko pa nasubukan ang french kiss.. Sa tuwing tatangkain ni Axel na gawin 'yon, umiiwas na 'ko. That's how far my experiences get. Nakakadiri naman kase yung magta-tongue to tongue kayo, tapos maghahalo ng husto ang mga laway niya. Yuck! Kaya hindi talaga ako pumapayag na halikan ako ni Axel ng ganon.

Ang kaibahan lang, si Axel pinipigil ko dahil ayoko. Si Caleb pinigil ko, dahil gustong gusto ko!

Nakaramdam ako ng kakaibang sensasyon ng mga panahon na 'yon, like something funny was going on in the middle of my body. When we got back to our hotel suite.. The evidence of my arousal was there.. My wet panties.

Naikuyom ko ang mga palad ko sa aking kandungan, iyon nanaman.. Nararamdaman ko nanaman! Tuwing pipikit nga ako, naiimagine ko ang mga kahalayan thoughts ko kay Caleb! I even had a wet dream last night, and it was all about him!Shucks!! Hindi naman ako dating ganito. Pero simula nun dumating si Caleb sa buhay ko, nagiba na ang pakiramdam ko towards the opposite sex. Napailing ako. Nakakaramdam na 'ko ngayon ng pagnanasa!

Pinagnanasahan ko ng husto ang lalaking ito!

Kung malalaman lang ni Caleb ang mga naiiisip ko, iyon na siguro ang pinaka nakakahiyang mangyayari sa buhay ko! I'm so glad that eventhough he's my hero, he have no special powers like reading minds. Ang special power lang siguro nya ay ang kapangyarihang iseduce ako! He had seriously potent power over my ovaries!

"Natalie, whatever you're thinking, just please, stop.." he said in a strangled voice.

I looked at him in horror. Had I said any of those things out loud?! Nakita ko kung gaano niya kahigpit hawakan ang manibela. Taas baba din ang adam's apple niya, at pulang pula ang pisngi niya na animo sinabuyan ng atsuete. "H-ha?"

Hininto niya ang sasakyan sa tabi ng daan at may kinuhang kung ano sa likod ng sasakyan. It was my scarf.

He threw it at me.

"W-what—" noon ko lang napagtanto nang yumuko ako ang dahilan ng pamumula ni Caleb. I was wearing a thin blouse at dahil nagmumura na sa laki ang boobs ko, hindi ko kailangan ng mga bra na makapal ang padding.

Shit. My nipples are puckering at halatang halata iyon sa suot ko!

This is so embarrassing!!