Chapter Thirteen

Everything I knew.

The fear I had felt for Amy up until a few minutes ago transformed into something else. I felt an urge to run, to lie and said I didn't know anything. But between my selfishness and guilt, I thought about how Amy almost died, and how it could happen to someone else near me soon. Like Dee. So I swallowed down that part of me that wanted to save my own skin, and told the principal that I'd tell her in private.

With a nod, she led me to her office. I didn't glance back at Dee. If she was already starting to hate me, I couldn't imagine how she would think of me later when she knew everything.

I told the principal everything from the beginning. Or at least, the beginning of what I remembered. The memory about my parents were still locked away. All I remembered of them started that night when they died. And the man who had been there—who had killed them. Who had spared my life for a reason I never understood until years later, when I killed my foster father with raw magic.

Maybe I hadn't known what it was called back then, but I had always known it was wrong, what I did. And still, I couldn't feel remorse over it. Every time I was reminded of that monster, I was glad he was now too dead to hurt anyone else. And that satisfaction, that rush of thrill when I had used the raw magic on him—I had always known that was wrong.

I hadn't known then—not until I read about it in a dusty section of the library a few years ago—that using raw magic to kill was a black magic practice. Generally, witches and warlocks were supposed to possess only enough raw magic to do little more than disarming someone—that was why spells were created to manufacture and channel magic better. But I had always had more. That was why the man who killed my parents had spared me. He had seen the potential of me becoming a black magician like him.

The academy taught me control. I might have not regretted killing my foster father, but I also didn't want to hurt anyone else if, for example, I was having a temper tantrum. When Mr. Hollister died the same way my parents had, I'd had suspicions that it might have been done by the same person. I had hoped I was wrong.

Yesterday, I started to realize denying something didn't make it not true.

When I finished, I couldn't meet Principal Edgerton's eyes. I remembered her sitting me down just like this when I was seven. I'd told her a lie. And I had been lying every single day in the academy after that by downplaying my raw magic. PE had always been my favorite because it was the only class I could release some of it, though I sometimes slipped. I also suspected it was why I could be underwater for so long—that raw magic helped me preserve my air.

I stared at my hands and waited for the principal to yell at me or call the mages to throw me into the Council dungeon. But she only kept quiet for a few minutes after I was done telling her everything. It was the longest minutes in my life.

"Very well, Miss Williams," she said. "I need to make some calls."

"But—"

"You're welcome to go back to your dormitory."

A dismissal. I sniffed and tried hard not to let any tear fall out of my stinging eyes. Rising up from the chair, I walked to the door and swung it open, wanting to get away as fast possible before someone passed by and saw me crying.

But when the door opened, it revealed Luke standing there in the doorway, looking down at me as if he had been standing there for a while. His hair was no longer green and the look on his face made me want to hurt him physically more than just changing his hair color. I released a straight force field to his chest and slammed him to the wall to keep him in place. He grunted, but didn't take his eyes off me.

"How much did you hear?" I asked.

He said, "Enough."

I released the force field and felt everything spin around me. Asphodel was no longer my home. In a few hours, everyone would know what I was. And if they had already disliked me before they knew what I was capable of, they would try to kill me if they knew what's good for them.

I went back to the dorm. My first destination was Dee's dorm, but no one answered the door. Either Dee wasn't inside or she just didn't want to speak to me. I half-hoped that she was still in the infirmary with Amy. It would make everything easier for me. The rest of me hoped that they would be there in our room when I came in, telling me that they were fine with everything, that Amy forgave me and that I was still the same girl they had known for years.

But Amy wasn't there when I came in. I wiped my wet face with the back on my hand, hesitating for a few beats. And then I hardened my resolve and strung into action, throwing my clothes into my bag and some cash from my yearly allowance. If I found myself needing more later I could sell that brand-new phone my uncle sent me. No one would call, anyway.

Suddenly I heard footsteps approaching. I threw the bag down and kicked in under the bed.

Amy stopped short at the doorway when she saw me.

I waited for her to say anything, but she didn't. She looked better now than she had a few hours ago. The color was back in her face, which was currently expressionless. "I'm sorry," I told her.

Instead of answering me, she lay on her bed and murmured a spell to switch off all the lights.

I sat on my bed and waited until she really fell asleep. By then, it was close to midnight. Careful not to make too much noise, I dragged my bag out from under the bed and slipped the straps over my shoulders. I contemplated my choices. If I got out from the door, I would be faced with mages. If I got out of the window, there would also be mages. Plus, at the very least, I would break my ankle.

Unless I didn't jump.

Taking a deep breath, I imagined a force field of raw magic under me, levitating me slowly. At first, nothing worked. I wasn't surprised, because levitating objects with raw magic was something we wouldn't learn until senior PE. But then I felt the magic rushing under me suddenly and suddenly my shoes were no longer touching the floorboard. I looked to down to make sure I was really levitating instead of just imagining it.

My shoes were two feet above the ground. I put a little more in the force field and winced when my head hit the ceiling. And then I looked back at Amy, who was still sound asleep.

Blinking back tears, I flew into the night.

Flying was strange. I didn't feel like I was floating free or gliding across the air. I just felt like I was standing on an escalator. A really high escalator. I didn't move—only my force field did. And it felt good. I had never released so much raw magic before and I didn't feel anywhere near drained yet. Under me, I saw the mages standing guard surrounding the academy buildings. Sadness and regret hit me as I saw all the places I had grown to be fond of. The stadium, the gardens, the offices, and even the backyard pond.

I didn't know where I would go now. I just knew I was no longer welcome here.

I was still in the air, hovering above the woods that led to the gates when I heard it, coming under me.

"Williams!"

The voice startled me, and I lost the grip I had on my force field. You know that metaphors people make about feeling the ground beneath you falling, your stomach dropping, and you feel like you're going to throw up? Those people should be glad that they weren't experiencing it in literal. One second I was still standing on my safe force field, taking in the night setting of the academy—the next second I was falling and grabbing at the air, trying to find something to hold onto while I struggled to reenact the force field. My heavy bag was dragging me down faster and faster. The person shouting my name didn't help my panic.

And then, at the very last second, survival instinct kicked and I was able to throw out a force field under me just a few inches off the ground.

I exhaled and let the force field go, feeling my breath knocked out of me as my back made an impact with the damp forest soil.

A pair of green eyes appeared in my vision. "Riley? Are you—"

He dodged my fist just in time. Inhaling deeply, I pushed myself up and stood, glaring at him. "Never do that again! I could have died!"

"You're damn right!" he angrily snapped back. "What were you thinking, flying like that? How could you fly on the first place?"

"Well, I'm not sorry I'm just so amazing I don't need any wings or broomstick to fly!"

"What's in that bag? You want to do your dramatic run now, with everything happening? You're either stupid or you're even more self-absorbed than I thought."

"You—what are you doing here, anyway? It's hours past curfew in the middle of the woods. You are the idiot."

It was as if I hadn't spoken at all. "Do you really think running away now is going to make all your problems go away? Where did you think you were going? You think the world is really about you, don't you?"

"Actually, it is! More people will get hurt because of me! And everyone hates me because I'm an abomination!"

"So am I!"

I stared at him, not sure if I had just heard him right. He was breathing hard, angrier than I'd ever seen him. I was suddenly reminded of the first time I had seen him, the openness in his eyes where I could see everything in him that reflected me. And I remembered what Jack Clyde had said yesterday, about Luke being different.

"What—"

Before I ever finished that question, his lips was suddenly on mine, kissing me as if I was the last person on earth he could kiss. Against my better judgment, I sank into him, muddling my mind until I forgot what and where I was supposed to be. In the back my mind, I knew there was something wrong with this.

He was playing my attraction to stop me from asking questions.

With that thought, I pushed him away. "You bastard!"

"Miss Williams!"

We both turned to see Principal Edgerton rushing our way. Carter was with her. I felt self-conscious as his gaze landed on the little space between me and Luke, so I stepped away from Luke. The principal's furious face was kind of frightening in the dark, even though she was wearing what I thought must be called a nightdress. I braced myself and asked, "How—"

"Your protection spell was triggered a few minutes ago." When I fell from the sky, then. The spell linking me to them must have warned them when I almost hit the ground hard and killed myself. Luke's fault. The principal's gaze went to my bag, the dirty handprints on Luke's uniform, and to my soil-covered hands and clothes. "Do I really want to know what happened here?"

Luke, the tattletale, told her that I was going to make my dramatic escape from the school and was flying across the air when he startled me and made me fall to the ground.

The principal rubbed her temple and sighed. "My office. Now."