Today is the day of the funeral. I've been prepping for this since he died. Me, a 24 year old girl is going to her dad's funeral that she mostly did on her own. So many things have happened since then. Haynes got his job at the hospital back, I met my long lost brother, Donnie kissed me, I signed a band, I'm keeping the whole Donnie kissed me thing a secret to myself and Haynes. See, a lot of things. But screw all that, today is a day where we honor someone who we lost. Someone close to me. My dad. He was awesome and still is. Dead or alive. God, this is so weird to talk about.

One second he was here and the next I was planning this funeral. It's so weird to think about. Anyone in this room could be gone by tomorrow. I could lose my best friend, my co-worker, my boyfriend. Life really does seem too short. Gracie, Lewis, Chloe and I were the first ones here along with Sam, Sabrina and the caterer, Tom. Lewis and Tom were giving each other dirty looks. I told Lewis to be mature for once.

The reason why Haynes isn't here is because he had an early shift at the hospital. He had to go, it was an emergency. I said as long as he shows up, it wouldn't be an issue. I can't tell you how bad he feels. I had to keep telling him that it would be okay. Save someone's life.

I was wearing a black sleeveless dress with a lace collar, black sneaker wedges and a silver with black gem moon necklace. Gracie was wearing a black sleeveless dress with gold spikes on the Peter Pan Collar, black boots with gold spikes outlining it, a black lace cuff, black and gold nail polish, bright red lipstick and a perfect wing eyeliner. Chloe was wearing a black blouse with a pleaded black skirt, cat flats, black lipstick, black eye shadow, a Gothic star and black rose necklace and blackheart Pentagram earnings. Lewis was wearing black jeans with a black t-shirt, a green and gold necklace and black sneakers. Sam was wearing a black button down shirt with black pants and black boots. Sabrina was wearing a black and blue ombre dress with black and blue heels, an angel wing bracelet and black earrings that says, "game over." Tom was wearing a grey and black button down shirt with the sleeves rolled up, black pants, maroon and black shoes, a black ring and a cross necklace.

"Cute earrings, Sabrina." I pointed out.

She smiled, "Just trying to lighten things up."

"My dad would've wore that shirt that said I didn't want to come. He would've loved those earrings for a funeral." I replied.

I noticed Lewis and Tom still being childish. I pulled Lewis by the collar of his shirt over to Tom, who was setting up. I let out a big sigh.

"I get it, you two can't stand each other and I knew I would have to deal with this problem. Just grow up, the both of you."

Lewis shook his head, "The things he has done."

"I got help. I got court mandated anger issues classes, I fucked up, but I've changed." Tom added.

"You could never change."

"I've been eight months sober, I'm married with a daughter on the way, I found God, I have apologized to everyone who I have wrong." He replied.

Lewis just shook his head and left. He looked really distraught. I looked at Tom and shrugged. How could I help this situation? What could I say to make Lewis change his mind? Nothing. He hates Tom. Granted he has reasons too, but I'll be honest, I thought getting them together like this would have them forgive each other. Tom already looks like he wants to. I just wish Lewis would let him back in his life. It just kind of sucks.

Gracie walked up to me. It's hard to explain her facial expression, but in away she looked caring and forgiven. Words that I never thought would ever describe her. She didn't say anything, just hugged me tightly. I hugged her back. I knew she wanted to cry but was holding it back.

Eventually everyone else showed up. I knew it was time to start. I took my seat in the front row, right next to Chloe and awkwardly to my left, Donnie. Haynes was still at work. It was hard seeing everyone I know I'm one place with no smiles on their face. I just want everyone to be happy. The priest started his sermon and we waited and waited for him to finish. To me, it felt like a lifetime. Once he finish, one by one, everyone closest to my dad went up and said a few words. Some were crying and could barely get a word out, other's were just so depressing. This isn't how I wanted it to go. Then it was me, my family and friend's turns. They at least made the whole vibe a lot better.

Lewis started, "Richard treated me like a son, well, mostly a son-in-law. He always considered Chloe one of his own kids and I was the lovable boyfriend. Let me tell you, I was definitely a lot better than Eliza's choice in guys. But he has always been there for me. He understood my problems and cared. It's something I didn't get from my family and it was nice to know that someone cared. I know I would say this every single time I saw you, but thank you. Love you, man."

Next was Gracie, "He always liked me, no matter how rebellious or selfish I was being. He made me feel like I wasn't alone in the world, like I could actually do something with my life. And I took that for granted. I never listened to his advice or cared whenever he said something and I should've. Maybe I wouldn't be hanging on high school with just a thread. Maybe I wouldn't be doing half the stupid shit I've done. I wish I would've listened more and not have been so full of myself. I just hope wherever you are, you'll forgive me. I'm gonna try and do a lot better."

Now Chloe, "I love my dad, my blood related dad. But I loved Eliza's dad like ten times more. And yeah, I said Eliza's dad. For Pete sakes, I call him my dad. Calling him by his first name was always so awkward. It felt like I was calling my real dad by his first name and I actually did that. Calling him my dad meant something special. It meant I trusted him and how could I not? He's been in my life for so long. And he always made sure Eliza and I were going to be friends forever. He always told us that he was getting old and one day he wouldn't be with us and he wanted to make sure that Eliza and I had someone we could be as close to as we were with him. I'm happy to be by Eliza's side in this dark moment in life. I guess all that's left to say is, I love ya dad."

Then Donnie, "I never thought I would say that my boss is one of my best friends. I had so many shitty jobs before the studio and all my bosses were assholes. I would go out to drinks after work with him. We would close the studio the next day cause we're too hungover. I slept on his couch, he slept on mine. All my mistakes, no matter how bad, he would always forgive me. I was a brother to him and he's still a brother to me. I could talk to him about anything. I wish I wasn't up here, I wish I was in his apartment, talking to him about one of the biggest mistakes in my life. I don't really believe in heaven or hell, but I hope you're somewhere good. Rich, if you can hear me at all, please know I'm sorry, I never meant to do that. I really need your advice man. I love you."

Donnie was talking about the kiss, I know because he was staring at me the entire time. Next was suppose to be Sabrina, but she said that she couldn't say anything because she didn't know him well enough and it didn't feel right. So next is Sam.

"When I was first scheduled to Richard's studio, I was mostly confused. I was suppose to go to a different one, but my manager got mixed up and thank god he did. His studio is like a second home to me. Every single time I'm in LA, I have to at least visit. If he wasn't there, I would call him up and no matter how busy he was he would make room for me. That's the kind of guy he is. Put everyone before himself. I've never met someone in this business to put themselves last. He's awesome no matter what. Thanks for everything and I know Eliza is going to be great at owning the studio. You left it in good hands. Love you, Rich."

Now it's time for my family. Andy's daughter, Ashley was being a brat. She didn't have anything to say, so first was her brother, Jones.

"He was literally the coolest guy ever! Best granddad ever! I mean he would spoil us, which was always awesome, but he would also spend quality time with us. He was there to stay. I'm happy he reunited with my dad, because some of my best experiences were with him. I felt like I could talk to him about anything and I wouldn't have to deal with the awkwardness of talking to my parents. One time, two years ago, when was babysitting us cause my parents went out of town. He caught me trying to smoke pot and he told me never to tell this story unless it was at his funeral. But he didn't take it away from me, he made fun of me for doing it wrong. And then proceeded to help me and smoke it with me. That's one of my favorite memories with him. Love you, grandad!"

Jessica was up next, "Okay, so I'll have a talk with Jones when we get home. But he was a great father-in-law. He treated me with respect and unlike my dad, he wasn't sexiest at all. He would cook us dinner, clean the house, anything 'the wife of the house' would do. I loved him for that. I noticed a lot of people said he was the dad they never had and yeah. I can see why. He's so cool. Makes you feel special, even when he's making other's feel special. Eliza, I know I just met you, but you are the luckiest girl alive to have such a great father. I'm so jealous. Thank you, Richard for bring the coolest person ever."

Now Andy, "I wish mom never left you and took me with. I was old enough to know that you were a great guy. I just couldn't understand why someone would ever leave you. Growing up, mom and I never had a relationship, she never understood everything I was going through and always told me to suck it up. The day we reunited, I was a junior in law school. You were giving a lecture in my one class and I loved it so much. I waked up to you afterwards, I had a sense that I knew you. When you saw me, you smiled and I knew you wanted to hug me. You knew who I was and deep down I knew who you were. I told you the lecture was amazing and asked you for tips. You took me out to lunch. We talked and talked and talked until I realized I skipped all my classes talking to you. We went back to the university and you hugged me tightly. I hugged back and I called you my dad. You told me everything, why she left you, about how my little sister is growing up well, you gave me hope again. When I met Jessica, you loved her right away. You blessed our wedding and were the best man. Thank you for coming back into my life and making me feel like I had a family again. I love you, dad. You meant the world to me."

Finally it was my turn. I stepped onto the stage and just looked at everyone. I never had a problem with public speaking, but this time it just didn't feel right. I took a deep breath, "My dad didn't want anyone to cry at his funeral. It pains to watch as you people cry. He wanted a celebration. It's okay to be sad, but don't cry. Talk about all the great times you had together. Don't worry about your problems for once, this is a party. Drink until you forget who you are, smoke until you start to see laser cats fighting dragons, just let loose. All of you know that he wouldn't want this. I have so many stories about how great he is and how much I love him, but I'm not going to say a you those. Because you guys can hear them any other day. When was the last time you felt free? The last time you smiled and generally was happy? I'm not going to end this with saying thank you or I love you, I can do that whenever. I'm going to end this by inviting the band up here to play some songs. And we're all going to party like we're all in college. Well, what are you waiting for?"

The band started to set up and I walked over to them. Aaron was wearing black pants, black converse, a long sleeve black shirt and an all black watch. Bentley was wearing black pants, black shoes, a black long sleeve button down shirt, black suspenders and a black and brown ring. Derrick was wearing black jeans, black shoes, a black t-shirt, dark grey vest and an anchor necklace. Amber was wearing an all black dress with lace at the end of the collar, bottom and sleeves, black heels, a black flower in her hair and a black chocker with a red heart charm. Lydia was wearing a black corset dress covered in lace, bright red heels, black lipstick, black gloves, black and gold stud earrings and a black flower crown. I just wanted to make sure they were all on the same page and there would be no fight. I could still feel tension between Lydia and Bentley. They promised there wouldn't be. I honestly threatened not to pay them. And I'm giving them a generous amount. I stepped off the stage and went over to the food. The band started to play music. I am so hungry. Haven't had much food for a while, so this is all great. I was talking to Tom.

"You can't try and reason with Lewis?" He asked.

"He teaches kindergarten. What do you think? Plus, it's not my day to care."

"You forgave me, why can't he?"

"I forgave you because I gave you consent and I had no reason to be mad at you. On the other, you try to drunkingly hook up with Chloe, who has pushed you away everything time."

He just looked at me, "I didn't mean to."

"Chloe is his girlfriend. You crossed the line." I grabbed a shit ton of food and walked over to Haynes, who finally showed up.

He was wearing black pants, a heavy metal t-shirt, a black letterman jacket and black converse. I just looked at his shirt and then his stupid smile.

"It's Goatwhore, one of my favorite bands. I don't own any plain black shirts and I was in a hurry to get here. So it was whatever was in my car."

"Goatwhore?"

"Right, I see how bad that is to wear at a funeral, bu-"

I kissed him, "I needed this."

"Same here. Question, would it be too weird to have sex tonight?" He asked.

I smiled and shook my head, "are you kidding? Perfect stress reliever."

We hugged and k saw Donnie just watching us. It was a little creepy, but I kind got why. I would too, if I just kissed someone. God, I hope he doesn't have feelings for me.

"I'm going to go over to Donnie, see how he's doing. You good?" I asked.

Haynes kissed me, "I'm good, I'll talk to Lewis."

I walked over to Donnie, who was wearing a black button down shirt, black shoes and black pants. Pretty much what everyone else was wearing. I just looked at him, waiting for him to say something. Too be honest, I did not have anything to say.

"You want an apology? Cause I can't give you one."

"How are you and Emma?"

"Dumped her for good."

"Cool." The tension was almost like we hated each other. "I'm gonna go to someone who isn't you."

I walked over to my brother and his family. Andy was pretty much wearing the same thing that Aaron was wearing except with black dress shoes. Jessica was wearing a long black skirt with a sheer layer, a black bralet cover by a black leather jacket, a black flower crown and black heels. I really really liked her outfit. Jones was wearing a button down black shirt with black ripped jeans and black shoes. Ashley was wearing a black skater dress with open toe black lace up heels and black black earrings. Andy hugged me.

"Man, it doesn't feel like we just met." He said.

I nodded, "It feels like we've always been together"

"How much longer is this going to be? I made plans with Steph." Ahsley complained.

I looked at her, "What's your deal? You don't have anything to say about my dad and now you just want to leave?"

"I can handle this." Andy stopped me.

But I didn't listen, "No, I want to know what your problem."

"He said I had a bad attitude and that I was his least favorite."

"Well you definitely have a bad attitude. Too be honest, you're my least favorite."

Andy pulled me aside, "that's my kid you're talking to."

"Right, sorry. You're kid is a bitch. My dad was the best man on this planet and she has to be a complete bitch about it. At least she got to meet him." I stopped myself.

Andy looked at me concerned, "You alright?"

"Grand kids, he'll never be able to meet my kids whenever I decide to have them. He got to meet your kids, but he'll never meet mine."

"Hey, I'll talk to Ashley."

I shook my head, "If she's that ungrateful, have her leave. I don't want her here and I know dad wouldn't either."

He nodded and walked over to Ashley. She looked upset and pissed, looked at me. She left. Andy told me that she hated me. I just called her a spoiled bitch. I don't care if I offended my brother and his family. Do not disrespect my dad. The one person who has been in my life no matter what. I walked away from them. I walked up to the casket, which was open. I just looked at him and smiled, a tear roll down my face.

"I know you said not to cry, but I can't help it." I said to him.

I knew there wouldn't be a miracle where he suddenly burst alive. Life just doesn't work like that. But this is the last time I'll ever see him in person. I just started at him, speechless, trying to hide my tears. Some women came up to her. She was wearing a black hair that cover all of her hair, but I saw one strand of red. She has blue eyes and was wearing a long black dress and bright red lipstick. She looked like someone out of a movie.

"I'm sorry, who are you?" I asked.

"An old friend." Her voice was soft.

"I invited everyone to this party, I don't remember you."

"Party? Thought it was a funeral."

"It is, but my dad wanted it to be a celebration."

"That doesn't surprise. Always a party animal."

"Again, who are you?"

She just smiled, "You were lucky to have him."

She walked away. I just watched her leave, confused. Who could that be? Haynes walked up to me.

"Who was that?" He asked.

I shrugged.

"Well, she kind of looks like you."

That's when it hit me. Was that my mom? Could I just have a conversation with someone who left me? She seemed so sad. I looked for her, but she was gone. Was that the last time I would ever see her? I just wanted to know why she left. Everyone else seems to know why. Haynes hugged me. He knew I needed one.

"We can cry later. Lets party." He smiled.

I smiled back and we walked into the crowd. Sabrina and Sam both sang, it finished with them and the band singing together. Everyone enjoyed themselves. It was amazing. I wouldn't want it any other way. Tom and Lewis even got along, but trust me that wasn't going to last. Donnie left early when he saw me kissing Haynes. That was fine. I knew I would have to see him tomorrow anyways. But everything worked out and everyone had a great time. I wouldn't want it any other way.