MAY 30th (Friday)

Eren was glad for the chance to slip back into a work routine, where he could exist in this moment and not have to worry about everything going on. He got texts from his mother once a day, reassuring him that she was fine. Her lab work was coming back with hopeful results. At least the cancer had stopped spreading. Dr. Erwin Smith had explained everything to Eren, and he felt confident in the doctor's expertise.

Finally, Friday rolled around. Bertholdt came by twice to make sure Eren did not forget about going out for drinks after work. Eren preferred to think about clients and communications, not going to a bar and trying to look interested.

He had gone to bars and clubs in university, but the loud music and crowded dance floors were not fun unless he was very drunk. Then he regretted it the next morning.

How was getting drunk fun if it made you feel miserable for far longer than the time you spent feeling relaxed and uninhibited?

Still, it was a chance to hang out with the people who helped his mother. Or, that's what he preferred to think. In reality, it was only going to be his three former classmates.

When five o'clock struck, Reiner and Bertholdt rushed over to Eren's desk, as if they had planned to ambush him before he had a chance to escape.

Reiner stated, "You don't have a car, so you'll ride with me."

"Thank you," Eren said, really glad he did not have to humble himself by asking for a ride.

Jean soon joined them, and the four headed out. At the elevator, they saw Levi also waiting to leave for the weekend.

"Sir," they all said, respectfully greeting the CEO. The short man with squinty eyes silently nodded back.

Jean piped up, "We're going out to drink, a boys' night out to celebrate Eren's mother getting started on treatments."

Levi looked over at Eren. "Is she getting the help she needs?"

"Yes, sir," he said with a beaming smile.

Levi nodded and looked straight ahead. "That's good."

"It's thanks to your donation, sir."

"What I put in was seed money, nothing more."

The elevator dinged, the doors opened, and the group shuffled inside. Suddenly, they heard a shout.

"Hold the elevator!" They turned and saw Hange racing toward them.

Levi hit a button to close the door instead. Despite that, Hange reached the doors before they had fully shut and pushed them back open.

"Whew! Made it." The Chief Administrative Officer looked around. "Looks like we got a party here. I heard rumors of a boys' night out. That sounds like fun. Mind if I join?"

Reiner began to say, "You're not a—"

Reiner elbowed him sharply before his next few words offended the genderqueer executive officer.

Levi sighed. "Hange, let them have fun without your meddling."

"Meddling?" Hange huffed indignantly, folded their arms, and insisted, "I have no idea what you're talking about."

The elevator reached the bottom, and the group stepped out.

"Have fun, boys!" Hange shouted out, waving at them. "Oh, I can't wait to get them together."

Levi glanced up in curiosity. "Eren and Jean? Or Reiner and Bertholdt?"

Hange chuckled deviously. "Oh, those other two are a sure thing. It's just a matter of announcing it. Eren and Jean, though... that's a worthy challenge, no?"

Levi rolled his eyes and walked away. "No. Drop it."

"You're no fun!" whined Hange.

# # #

https://youtu.be/5qm8PH4xAss

They went to their cars, with Eren riding in Reiner's pickup truck. They arrived at a club where music was already pumping. Many of the people there were also getting off work and getting an early start on Friday.

"Eat up while it's happy hour," Bertholdt urged them all.

They found a booth for all of them. Reiner immediately ordered a starter plate of hot wings and soft pretzels with cheese dip to share.

Eren nibbled on his lower lip as he eyed the menu, obviously trying to find the least expensive item.

Bertholdt saw him and sighed. "Order whatever you want. My treat tonight."

Eren jolted. "Oh! No, no, it's—"

"I insist, really."

"You already gave me money. I can keep it under twenty bucks."

"Use that to buy your mother flowers instead. I insist! My gift to her, understand?" he said, and Bertholdt beamed him a grin. "This is my way of supporting you on this hard journey."

Eren looked stunned, but he smiled gratefully. "I'll just have a hamburger, then."

"Make it a bacon cheeseburger or I'll be sad," Bertholdt teased.

"You're twisting my arm here," he chuckled as he folded his menu. "Fine! I'll even make it bacon mushroom cheeseburger."

Bertholdt slapped him on the shoulder. "Now that's how to make me happy."

Food arrived, and they ordered a round of shots. They talked about work while they ate. When the drinks came, they all held their glasses aloft.

"To Eren's mother!" Reiner shouted.

"To Mrs. Jaeger!" Jean joined in.

Bertholdt added, "To the whole Jaeger family in this time of need."

Eren joined in with a gentle smile. "To Mom, and to health."

"To health!" they all cheered, and knocked back the drinks.

Jean and Bertholdt immediately started into a discussion about the upcoming NCAA playoffs. Both were obsessed with basketball since their days on the high school team. Jean told them that his father was going to throw a party. He had not done that in years, but apparently he was doing better and needed the distraction.

They then got into a reminiscent conversation about how each of them met the others.

Jean began, "Well, Eren and I were friends since we were four."

Eren looked over. It felt weird, hearing Jean so casually say that they had been friends. Eren still wondered about those memories that kept resurfacing.

Reiner chuckled. "I think we have you beat." He glanced over at Bertholdt. "Our mothers went to the same church, so we grew up together since infancy."

"Your whole lives!" Jean exclaimed, looking back and forth between the two. "That's crazy."

Eren added, "I remember you two were always together, all through middle school and high school."

Reiner hummed and nodded in agreement, while Bertholdt had a tiny, bashful smile. His arm moved, clearly shifting his hand under the table. A second later, Reiner's arm also moved a little closer to Bertholdt. Eren caught onto it right away, but he said nothing.

Jean seemed to not catch the subtle movement happening under the table as he chomped into his burger.

Eren secretly smiled. "I bet you two know everything about each other."

"Pretty much," Reiner had to agree, glancing over at Bertholdt, who could not meet his eyes.

"You know about all the firsts. First crush... first kiss?"

Bertholdt suddenly jolted at that, and Eren saw his arm pull back.

Jean had been distracted by a waitress passing by, but he looked over now. "Ooh, when was your first kiss, Reiner?"

"Fourteen. Do you remember the teacher's assistant, Pieck Finger?"

"She was in college, working at the school for credits," Jean recalled.

"And I fell for her. Hard. I think she just humored me so I would get my grades up, but she did give me a kiss. It was really small and probably stupid, but I was a kid and thought it was the most amazing thing ever. So yeah, my first kiss was an older woman... or at least, older by five years."

"Sneaky bastard! And you, Bertholdt?"

The tall man was practically squirming. "M-My... first... k-k-kiss?"

Reiner glanced over. "Should I tell him?"

Bertholdt looked horrified. "No!"

Reiner still turned to them. "It wasn't until about three months ago."

"Reiner!" Bertholdt snapped, solidly red in the face.

Jean's mouth dropped. "Wait, seriously? Dude, you're twenty-four years old. Did you seriously just now get kissed for the very first time?"

Biting his lip, he nodded bashfully.

"Who? She must be awesome to break a celibacy that long."

Eren glanced over. Could Jean really not see it? "Jean's right. Your partner must be really special." He glanced over at Reiner and then back at Bertholdt.

The tall man's face lit up to see that Eren understood and accepted him. Still, as he muttered, his gaze turned back down. "Y-Yeah... very special."

Eren saw both of their arms tense for a moment under the table, and he could not help but smile supportively. He would not out them, but he gave them both a smile.

Reiner asked, "What about you, Jean? When was your first kiss?"

Jean puffed out his chest. "I was nine."

Eren burst out in laughter. "Seriously? Nine? You must have forced the girl into it."

Jean glared at him but said nothing.

"What about you, Eren?" asked Bertholdt.

He shrugged. "I honestly don't remember. There was Annie in middle school, but I recall telling her that it wasn't my first kiss. However, I can't remember who I kissed before her."

"I remember," Jean said, still glaring bitterly.

Eren looked over to him in shock. "Seriously? You remember who my first kiss was? Who? I wonder if I remember her."

"Who said it was a her?"

Eren's mouth dropped. "Wait, what?"

"Also," Jean said with a wide shrug, "you shouldn't be picking on someone whose first kiss was when they were nine, considering yours was when you were eight."

"What?" Eren yelled.

Reiner chuckled. "I think it barely counts at that age. Kids kiss anyone. Hell, I probably kissed a few elementary school friends without knowing what it meant."

"I'm pretty sure he didn't know. In fact," Jean said, looking harshly at Eren, "I teased you about kissing that boy."

Eren mumbled under his breath, "I can imagine that." As far back as he could remember, Jean had been a jerk; in middle school he started with the homophobic slurs, so it was unsurprising that Jean was that way even younger.

"Which is why I wouldn't really count that as your first kiss. Plus, you only kissed him on the cheek."

"Then that definitely doesn't count. My family all kiss on the cheek."

"So," Jean went on, "I'd count the second person ... someone you kissed on the mouth... when you were nine."

"Same age as you?" Bertholdt asked, looking suspicious.

Jean shrugged. "We were in competition even back then."

Eren shook his head. "I'd never kiss a girl out of a competition."

"Who said that one was a girl?" said Jean.

"Wait, another boy?" Eren cried out. "Dude, I'm not gay. Was this a kid in my class? It wasn't Armin, right? I'd remember that. Who was it?"

Jean shrugged. "If you can't remember, I'm not going to tell you. I will tell you this much: you kissed him more than once."

Eren stared down at the table, shaking his head. "I seriously have no memory of anything like that. You've gotta be lying."

"Who was your first crush?" asked Bertholdt.

"Annie Leonhart. See, I remember that clear enough."

"Wait, Annie Leonhart!" Bertholdt cried out.

Eren jolted. "Uh, yeah? Do you know her?"

Reiner bellowed out a hearty laugh. "Ooh yeah, Bertholdt knows her. She's his cousin."

"What?" Eren yelped. "I... I'm sorry. We were kids."

Bertholdt let out a long breath. "It's okay," he said, although it sounded mostly to himself. "She can kiss whoever she wants. So, you liked her, huh?"

Eren laughed awkwardly now. "Y-Yeah, kinda, I guess."

Jean piped in, "You had a crush on her for years. My God, I remember you gushing about her as early as third grade."

"Well, nothing came of it. She was pretty cold to me. I tried to ask her out in middle school, and she shot me down hard. She felt bad about it afterward, so she let me kiss her. It was just one kiss, though. I distinctly remember, she asked if I had ever kissed someone before, and I said yes. She said she had also kissed someone before, so she didn't feel bad about letting me have one kiss with her. When I later admitted I couldn't remember who my first kiss was, she slugged me in the gut."

Bertholdt muttered, "She told me some classmate asked her out. You were eleven."

"I thought it was okay. I mean, Jean was dating at that age."

"Jean's always dating. I bet he's had a hundred girlfriends by now."

Jean snapped, "Hey, not a hundred. Well, at least not girlfriends. If you count hookups, then it's well over a hundred. You don't need to have a crush on someone to have a good time."

Eren shook his head. "One-night-stands aren't my thing."

"Oh? And what is?"

"Something serious, a person I can talk to, get to know, see if there's chemistry."

Jean scoffed. "Do you really need to know her favorite food and color before you fuck her?"

"At the very least, yes!" Eren shouted. "I bet you don't even know the names of half the women you've slept with."

Jean freely admitted, "I sure didn't know the name of the girl last weekend."

Eren shook his head. "Sick."

"Don't judge," Bertholdt advised sagely. "Some people need to know the person and fall in love first, some don't, and some need to become best friends before they can fall in love." He smiled over at Reiner, who surreptitiously glanced over at him.

Eren turned to Jean. "Seriously, who did I kiss back then?"

"Which time?"

"Both!"

"The first boy was Boris Feulner."

Eren made a face. "Okay, the name's not familiar at all."

"He was in another classroom than us, but I guess you two were playground friends. You kissed him on the cheek during lunch in second grade."

"And I bet you called me a fag," Eren said wryly.

Jean frowned and mumbled, "Not that word, but I did tease you."

"You really have always been an asshole. So, who was the second guy?"

Jean grumbled, "How should I know?"

"You said you did!"

"I didn't see you two kissing. I remember Boris because I saw it."

"Then how do you know for sure that it happened?"

Jean stared at him hard. "Seriously, what happened to your memory?"

"I don't know, I forgot most of my childhood. Isn't that normal?"

"Forgetting the name of your first grade teacher is one thing. Some of the things you've forgotten... shit, it's not normal to forget something that important. Like the fact that you kissed your best friend."

Eren looked confused.

"It was Armin, you idiot."

Eren's mouth dropped, but then he scowled in fury. "I know you're lying. If I had kissed Armin, he would have told me."

"Ah, you're right," he said playfully. "It was me. Gotta say, you kiss like a dog in summer, all slobber and drool."

Eren gave him a shove. "Shut up, asshole."

"Oh wait! Maybe it was that greasy-haired kid, Porko Galliard."

"Seriously, go to hell." Eren paused and cringed. "It wasn't really you, was it? Because that would explain why I have amnesia. I'd want to forget a trauma like that."

Jean shoved him back. "Fuck you. As if I'd demean myself to swapping spit with you, of all people." Jean stood up. "I was going to tease you a bit and tell you at the end of the night, but I've changed my mind. As far as you know, you kissed greasy Porko, and you can't prove you didn't."

Eren made a face. "It wasn't him, was it?"

"Yeah, I'm lying again." Jean flashed a smile. "It was that fat rich kid, Flegel Reeves."

"Oh God, that's worse!" Eren wailed, and Jean laughed as he left for the toilets.

Jean was surprised to find that teasing Eren had a calming effect. Sure, Bertholdt had scolded him over and over again all week that the goal of this hangout was to get closer and understand each other better, a chance to rekindle a friendship after a long-lasting rivalry. Jean thought he would at least give it a chance, but teasing Eren was so much more satisfying.

After all, he had known Eren through most of his childhood. As friends and neighbors, they argued about almost everything. That gave Jean a feeling of knowing and understanding Eren the most out of any other person in his life.

When he returned, Reiner had ordered another flight of drinks. There were cheers all around, and glasses tipped back. They teased Bertholdt, whose face went red every time he drank, which embarrassed him as he defended that he simply did that, no matter if it was a sip of beer or a fifth of scotch.

They ignored talk about past relationships and instead wanted to know everything about Eren's mother. This included catching them all up on what type of cancer she had, her first diagnosis around Thanksgiving of last year, all the rounds of chemotherapy, many surgeries, all leading up to the trip to the UK and what would be involved.

Jean was shocked by all of this. Eren had been dealing with a lot, and it all started shortly after he graduated from university. Reiner and Bertholdt also were surprised that Eren had risen so high in the company, securing top clients, when all that time he had been battling for his mother's survival. They only began to realize something was off in the last few months, when Eren had grown increasingly desperate for money.

"Your mother's a fighter," Jean assured Eren. "She's always been that way. Hey, I never did tell you about Halloween when we were eight."

"Yeah, seriously, what's that about?"

Jean motioned to Reiner and Bertholdt. "You two have gotta hear about this, so you know the sort of bad-ass lady Carla Jaeger is."

# # #

https://youtu.be/SRvCvsRp5ho

OCTOBER 31, 1987 (Age 8)

It was Halloween, and eight years old was the perfect age to go trick-or-treating. They were old enough to go up to the doors alone, and young enough to still get some great candy without adults eying them suspiciously.

Jean had dressed as a cowboy that year, all the while singing Bon Jovi's latest hit, Wanted Dead or Alive. Eren wore a vampire cape with fake fangs that kept falling out of his mouth. It was a Saturday, they had not gotten to see one another at school, so their costumes were a bit of a surprise for each other.

When they met up in their front yards, they immediately began to insult one another. Eren chuckled at the boots and hat.

"Nice cowboy costume, except you're missing a horse. Oh wait, you are a horse!"

"Yeah, well, you dressed as the perfect thing. A vampire. Because you suck!"

Eren launched himself at Jean, knocking him down. "I vant to suck your bloooood," he said in a cutely menacing voice, and he tried to latch onto Jean's neck.

"Stop that, eww, I don't want your cooties on me. Oh gross!" Jean screamed, flailing as he felt wetness on his neck.

Eren pulled back, having lost his plastic fangs again, and with them a huge dollop of saliva spilled out onto Jean's skin. "Oops, sorry." He wiped his wet lips and picked the teeth back up.

Jean scurried back. "You're gross!"

"It was an accident."

"You really do suck." As Eren began to put the fake teeth toward his mouth, Jean slapped them out of his hand. "Don't do that! They were on the ground. Go wash them."

"Five second rule," said Eren.

"That's only for kitchen floors, idiot. Go wash your teeth."

Eren picked the fangs up and ran into the house, while Jean used the handkerchief tied around his throat to wipe up his neck.

"Gross," he grumbled.

Carla left the house wearing a bright white gown and angel halo. Mikasa was dressed as a knight wearing a tunic, plastic helmet, and a small plastic sword strapped to her side. Jean's mother Nancy came out and waved to Carla.

"Eren, you look so scary!" she said with a beaming smile to the boy vampire. "And Mikasa... um... you look... very knightly." Nancy looked up in concern to Carla. "Shouldn't she be dressed as, I don't know, a princess?"

Carla chuckled and shrugged. "It was either a knight, one of the Three Musketeers, or She-Ra."

Mikasa muttered, "I am She-Ra, but I don't like skirts." She held up a She-Ra doll clutched tightly in her hand, and a tiny pair of white trousers had been added to the action figure to cover her bare legs.

Nancy looked up to Carla in surprise, and the woman had a tiny smile.

"I sewed a pair of trousers for the doll," the doting mother explained.

Nancy laughed at how dedicated this woman was to her children, including the one they adopted into their home. She patted Mikasa on the head. "You're such a strong, independent girl, Mikasa." Then she looked back up to Carla. "Thank you so much for taking Jean-boy. Linny insisted on going to night church. Last time Halloween landed on a weekend, he refused to take Jean trick-or-treating because of his church duties. Luckily, he was only three, too young to really understand and be sad about missing it. Now... well, I'm worried that it's something he would never forgive his father for. So really, I'm in your debt."

"It's nothing. How's your health?"

"Better, but the doctor said I shouldn't be out at night. Jean-boy, you stick close to them, got it?"

"Yes, Mama," he called out, more interested in looking at Mikasa's plastic sword. "That's so cool. I wanted to carry a pistol, but Mama wouldn't even let me have a water gun."

With Carla shepherding them along, they went around the neighborhood. There were other families out with their children. The grownups all knew the kids and were excited to see what costumes they wore that year.

When they had finished looping around the block and came back to the house, Carla looked around.

"Well, it's still light out. Should we continue? Are you kids tired?"

"More candy, more candy!" Eren cheered.

"Candy, candy, candy!" Jean said in chorus with him.

"We can drive to another neighborhood. Mikasa, how about we visit your aunt? Kiyomi might like to see you dressed like that."

She shook her head. "The Azumabitos don't celebrate Halloween, and my aunt never gives anything out for free."

"How about Old Town?" asked Jean. "Marlo in school said all the shops hand out candy."

Carla clasped her hands together. "Oh, that would be fun! Let's drop off these bags, get some more, and we can drive over there."

They dropped off their bags of candy, loaded up in the car, and went into the older part of town, with classic buildings and vintage themed shops. Sure enough, children swarmed the area, with all the streets blocked off to automobile traffic for their safety, creating a safe area for families to take their children.

Every shop had an employee dressed up in a theme that matched their products. The stationery store had someone dressed as a giant pencil, the hairdresser was dressed up in leather with hair teased out like a hair metal band, the hat shop had someone in a Mad Hatter costume, and the bridal shop had their very own Bride of Frankenstein, all handing out candies to the children who excitedly went from store to store.

Mikasa grabbed hold of Eren's hand. "Stay close to me so you don't get lost."

"O-Okay," he said, stunned by her insistence.

Jean grinned charmingly. "Can you hold my hand too, Mikasa? I might get scared."

She glared at him coldly. "You're a big boy."

He huffed as she walked off.

They went from one store to the next, and Carla chatted with some of the shopkeepers. As they passed by a gun store, Jean ran right up to the window and pressed his face against the glass.

"A real cowboy gun," he whispered in awe.

The shopkeeper, dressed up as a Wild West lawman, saw him. "Something caught your eye, kid?"

"The pistol. My dad has one like it, but this one looks old."

"Well, because it is!" the man said with pride. "That there is a Colt Single Action Army Revolver, also known as the Peacemaker, the most popular gun of the Wild West, used by cowboys, outlaws, and sheriffs alike."

Jean's eyes lit up in amazement. "Wooooow! A real cowboy gun."

"Well, that one is actually from 1956, but the carved ivory handle is a replica of General Patton's Peacemaker that he carried in World War II—"

Jean did not really care for details. To him, it was a cowboy gun. "Hey Eren, come look." He glanced around. "Eren?"

The shopkeeper looked instantly worried. "Uh-oh. Lost your group?"

"They're around here somewhere. Thanks, mister!"

"Hey, wait up, kid." He went into the shop and came out with a king-sized Snickers bar. "Here, have this. Nice to meet a boy with an interest in firearms."

His mouth dropped and almost started to drool right away. The coveted king-sized candy bar! Kids at school told stories about getting one of these for Halloween.

"Tell your daddy to drop by my store, all right?"

"Yeah! Thank you, mister. Thank you so much!" Jean ran down the street with the candy bar firmly in his fist. "Eren, Eren! Wait 'til you see what I got." He ran to the end of the block and slowed down. "Eren?" He looked around. "Mikasa? Mrs. Jaeger?"

A father with his daughter paused. "Are you lost, little boy?"

"No!" he stubbornly insisted, and he ran across the street. "Eren," he called out, looking around.

"Don't you want a candy, kid?" asked a shopkeeper as he passed.

"Oh." He paused to get a Skittles packet. "Hey, have you seen a vampire? I think he got lost."

She looked sympathetic. "I've seen a few of those tonight, sorry. Is he your brother?"

"No, he's just a jerk who lives next door." He went on down the street. "Can't even wear an original costume, stupid little Jaeger."

He came to the end of another block, pausing to get candies and to look around. Where were the others? Maybe they were a little further down.

Soon he was getting out of the brightly painted buildings and into darker, rundown stores. He stopped seeing kids in costumes, and the streets were not closed off to traffic anymore, so he had to wait for the lights to cross.

"Eren, Mikasa?" he called out timidly. He stopped and looked back to the bright lights of the event. "I... I should go back."

"Hey, kid."

He yelped and looked around. A man wearing a long, black coat stood against a store wall, smiling in a scary sort of way.

"You said you're looking for Eren, right?"

"Y-Yeah," he muttered, taking a step back.

"I found someone wandering around named Eren. Come on, he's over here."

Jean sighed in relief. Finally! He hurried along beside the guy, following him into an alley.

"He's right back here, nice and safe."

Jean was glad to find help. However, halfway into the shadows, he slowed down.

No, this was wrong.

He suddenly turned, but a rough hand grabbed him.

"Don't you wanna see your friend?"

"Let me go!" he yelled, struggling to break away.

Arms lifted him straight up. "Don't worry, kid. It's just a trick-or-treat prank," he said with a sadistic laugh, forcefully carrying Jean deeper into the alley.

"No! Let me go. Stranger! Stranger!" he shouted at the top of his lungs.

"They all closed up shop down here, kid. No one around. You might as well shut up."

He struggled and tried to bite the man's arm. "Let go of me, asshole!"

"What a dirty mouth for a kid! I can take care of that," he said with a lecherous smirk.

Jean felt the pit of his stomach drop. This was the sort of man adults warned about.

Suddenly, the man was knocked forward, and his hold loosened enough for Jean to break free. Jean scrambled away, hiding beside a dumpster as he heard an enraged scream and saw a vampire attacking in the night.

"Eren?" he whispered in awed shock.

Suddenly, Mikasa was kneeling beside him, a real knight in shining armor now. "Jean! Are you hurt?"

He looked over to her in astonishment. "What are you guys doing here?"

"You got lost. We looked all over for you, and then Eren saw you way down the street following a stranger."

"He... He said Eren was with him."

Mikasa stared at him hard. "And you believed a stranger?"

Jean flinched. It really had been stupid.

"Fucking kid!" the man yelled. Eren was flung away, right into the alley wall, hitting his head hard and collapsing into a pile.

"No!" Mikasa leaped forward and grabbed the man by the legs, sending him falling.

"Fuck!"

The man kicked at the new attacker, hitting Mikasa in the head and cracking her knight's helmet in half. She moaned as she lay stunned. The man slowly got to his feet, wiped blood from a cut to his face, and faced the children. That was when he saw long, black hair flow out of the broken helmet.

"Oh hey, you're a girl! You'll fetch good money. Fuck you boys, I'm taking her."

He lunged to grab Mikasa, but Eren tackled him from the side, while Mikasa pulled out her sword and stabbed him as hard as she could right in the groin. The plastic sword was driven in with enough force to break it at the hilt, and the man screamed in agony.

"Fucking bitch!"

Just then, Carla rounded the corner, her angelic wings fluttering. "Kids, down!"

Eren and Mikasa dropped, and Carla's arm raised, showing a canister in her hand. Suddenly, a jet of liquid shot out and hit the man in the face. He howled and reached up to his eyes. Carla ran forward like a flying angel and kicked him squarely in the chest, sending him sprawling to the ground. The stranger began to lift himself, but Mikasa repeatedly stomped her foot down hard onto his head, knocking him out.

"Okay, that's enough, Mikasa. That's enough." Carla panted hard, having to chase after the two remarkably fast children, as well as motherly terror as she heard the struggles of the fight. Slowly, her fierce stance sank, and she was able to look around. Eren was already starting to cough from the spray.

"Don't breathe, kids. Back up out of the alley. Don't breathe!"

"But the stranger," Mikasa protested.

"It's okay. He won't be able to see, so he can't run far even if he escapes. We need to get out of the way of the spray."

Mikasa pulled Eren away as he coughed hard, but Jean was too scared to move.

"Jean!" Carla ran forward and dropped to her knees in front of him. "Jean, are you hurt?"

He silently shook his head.

She grabbed him into a hug. "Thank God you're safe."

Slowly, Jean began to realize what just happened. That man was going to kidnap him, and he had been saved by Eren and Mikasa. He looked at the two other kids. Eren had a bloody nose from getting hit into the wall, and Mikasa rubbed her head, still hurting from getting kicked, with the broken helmet fallen to the alley floor and the snapped hilt of her sword still clutched in her hand.

Tears began to fill Jean's eyes as the fear finally sank in. He realized he owed this family his life, and he grabbed Carla into a crushing hug. She picked him straight up off the dirty alley ground.

"It's all right, Jean. It's safe now. You're safe."

He wailed in belated terror, but he fully believed that he was safe now. An angel was hugging him. A guardian angel! Then suddenly the spray began to spread his way, and he coughed as his throat burned.

"Don't breathe. Hold your breath and count to ten, okay?"

He nodded, and she carried him away from the attacker.

"All of you, get out of this alley, quickly."

"What was that spray?" asked Mikasa.

"It's called bear spray. Grisha bought it when we went camping in Yosemite a couple years ago and asked me to carry it around for self-defense. I thought he was being silly, but now..." She let out an emotionally drained sigh. "It won't kill him, but he won't be feeling good for a while. Are any of you hurt?"

Eren muttered, "My throat is hot."

She set Jean down and knelt to look at Eren's face. "You were closest to him." She pulled out a tissue for his bleeding nose. "Oh my son, I am so sorry." She hugged him tightly. "I'm so sorry." She looked up to the little girl. "Mikasa, find a pay phone."

"There was one on the street corner."

"Good. Call 911. Tell them we've stopped a kidnapper, but he needs an ambulance."

"I don't have coins."

"You don't need any for 911. Now, hurry."

Carla kept her arms protectively around both boys. She tried to clean up Eren's blood and softly consoled Jean, rubbing his back and soothing away the terror. A minute later, they heard the sound of sirens approaching from not far down the street.

The police were luckily in the area, precisely due to worries about pedophiles and human traffickers aiming for lost children on Halloween. The man was taken away in handcuffs, and as Carla gave her statement to police, Jean's name was left out. She instead said the target had been her daughter, and she left it at that. She smiled at Jean and gave him a reassuring hug. She had left out his role in the whole thing so he would not get in trouble with his parents.

As they drove home, the thoughtful mother made a stunning declaration.

"Let's not tell the Kirschtein family about this. Nancy has been sick, and they don't need more worries."

Jean sank in relief. "Thank you." Seriously, it was sheer luck that he got to go trick-or-treating that night. If his father heard about him almost getting kidnapped, he might never let Jean do this again.

As they rode in the Jaeger's van, Jean pulled out the King Size Snickers bar. With determination, he thrust it out to Eren.

"You have this. You saved me."

Eren looked stunned, but he shook his head. "Mikasa got her costume ruined by attacking him, and her sword broke. She deserves it."

Jean turned to the adopted sister and held the candy bar out to her. She looked amazed, took the coveted Halloween treasure, and whispered, "Thank you."

Then Jean turned to Eren. "I owe you a Snickers."

He grinned with a bright face. "I'll keep you to that. Don't ever forget that I saved your butt today."

"I won't! Pinkie promise!"

# # #

PRESENT DAY: 2003

"Then this suicidal idiot," Jean concluded, thumbing over to Eren, "comes running into the alley with his sister, and they both tackle the bastard. Well, we're just eight, so it was pretty pathetic. Just as he's preparing to nab three kids instead of one, Carla comes around the corner screaming 'Kids, down!' She's like Sarah-fucking-Conner, arms straight out holding what I thought was a gun at first, except it was a bottle of bear spray. She nailed this guy in the face and brought him down. She had to carry me out of there, and Eren was a bloody mess. Then she lied to the police to cover up my role in the whole thing so my parents wouldn't flip their shit. She saved my life that day, and I will never forget it!"

Eren shook his head, stunned at hearing the story. "Seriously, I'd almost think you were making that up since I don't remember it at all, except I know Mom had a can of bear spray. I remember her carrying it around in her purse before tasers came out."

There was no way Jean could know about the bear spray unless this really did happen. Eren had to wonder, how could he have forgotten something like that?

Jean patted Eren on the shoulder. "You should be proud of your mother. I told you, she's a fighter!"

Eren's face glowed in the dim lights of the club. "I know she is. She's amazing."

Reiner and Bertholdt exchanged an amused glance. These two had gone from Jean scowling and Eren acting like a wallflower, to the two laughing, with Jean relaxing, his arm stretched out behind Eren as he slouched back, starting to get comfortable with a few drinks down him. Maybe the two of them could manage to become friends again after all.

Eren stood up and stretched. "Mom's awesome, and I'm going to order another round."

"Cheers to that!" Jean shouted. Once Eren was gone he looked over to Reiner and Bertholdt. "Ya know, as much as I gave that guy hell for years, he's not all bad. Still a shit-stain," he said, simply to clarify that he and Eren were not buddy-buddy by any means, "but any guy who loves his mother this much has at least one redeeming quality."

Bertholdt seemed well-pleased about Jean's change of heart. "I think you'll find Eren is quite a great guy when he's not stressing out."

"And," added Reiner, "that includes being stressed from guys who call him Fag-Eren."

Jean groaned and flopped his head back against the booth. "I know, I was a fucking loser as a teen."

"I believe you called him that recently," Reiner said with a stern glare. "You owe him an apology. More than that. You owe him at least five years worth of apologies."

"I know, I know," he muttered. "Fuck." Jean swung himself up onto his feet. "I'm gonna drain the old anaconda again before we hit more drinks."

"Drain it, don't milk it."

"Fuck off," Jean laughed, flipping Reiner off as he left to the men's room.

# # #

# #

#

In da Club was on the 2003 debut album of rapper 50 Cent and soared to #1 on the US Billboard Hot 100. It got a Grammy nomination for "Best Rap Song," but lost to Eminem's Lose Yourself. The video won Best Rap Video and Best New Artist at the MTV Video Music Awards. So yeah, this is definitely a song you'd hear at a club in 2003.

Wanted Dead or Alive by Bon Jovi is an iconic song from 1987, the year Jean's flashback takes place, so I'm including it to set the time period. Plus the chorus line "I'm a cowboy, on a steel horse I ride" fits with Jean dressing up as a cowboy.

In my opinion, 1987 produced some of the most iconic music of all time, with hits still covered or used in movies today: Whitney Houston, Madonna, Prince, Bon Jovi, Cyndi Lauper, Gloria Estefan, The Bangles, U2, Duran Duran, Genesis, Huey Lewis and the News, Billy Idol, Janet Jackson, Michael Jackson... Titans of Music! Picking one song to represent that year was tough.

She-Ra: Princess of Power — The show ran from 1985-1987 as a girl-oriented companion to the immensely popular He-Man and the Masters of the Universe. In the show, Princess Aurora is the twin sister of Prince Adam (AKA, He-Man). She was kidnapped as a baby and taken to the planet Etheria. Brainwashed, she leads the Evil Horde as a captain until He-Man rescues her. With the Sword of Protection, her brainwashing is shattered, and she transforms into She-Ra. Rather than staying safe with her family, Aurora realizes that Etheria needs to be defended against the Evil Horde, and She-Ra has the power to do just that. She returns and leads the Great Rebellion to free Etheria.

I was VERY young when She-Ra was on TV, but I was obsessed with her. (Probably my second crush, after Princess Leia.) My treat for good grades in early elementary school was to get a She-Ra book or new action figure. However, even as a kid, I strongly disliked the outfits, as they made no sense. Why would anyone go out into battle wearing bathing suits, mini skirts, tights, and sleeveless tops, but all the women wore vambraces? Even the male character had his abs showing on the sides of his breastplate.

The battle armor made no sense at all, other than sexualizing a female character meant for little girls... I mean, no wonder so many of us turned out bisexual! (Kidding.) Still, I loved that she was a bad-ass female warrior in a television landscape where little girls were expected to be cutesy, helpless princesses, or "the healer" in the 5-man band, not the warrior charging into battle on a horse with her sword raised high.

While I think the new She-Ra was fantastic with better diversity and a gripping storyline, I still think it's ridiculous that the new She-Ra design wears a full breastplate (better than only covering her boobs and belly) but freaking bicycle shorts under a mini skirt. It's like they acknowledged that the OG She-Ra design was sexist as heck, but they didn't fix that it's also ridiculous to little girls who watch way too many swashbuckler movies.

King Size Snickers — In 1975, Snickers introduced their King Size bars. At the time, a regular Snickers bar was 1.5 ounces, and the King Size was 2.4 ounces.

In 1983, Snickers was picked as an official sponsor of the 1984 Olympic Games in Los Angeles, and as part of their ad campaign they increased the candy bar size to 1.7 ounces. The size would increase again to 1.86 ounces, where it stands today, while the King Size increased to 3.7 ounces. (I went down such a rabbit hole of candy bar sizes and "shrinkflation.")

In 1979, "Fun Size" Snickers were introduced, particularly for Halloween. So in the 1980s, the tiny Fun Size bars were far more common. Getting a full-size candy bar on Halloween, or even the coveted king-size bar, was a huge deal.

King Size Snickers were discontinued in 2012 as part of a campaign to fight obesity. Instead, Snickers created the resealable (and ideally sharable) "2 to Go" bar, 3.29 ounces with two bars that were meant to either be shared or eaten at separate times. In a sense, these two "mini bars" are still bigger than a Snickers from 1975.

Bonus fact:

In 2019, Snickers campaigned to change Halloween from October 31st to the last Saturday of October. Many parents liked the idea because it allowed kids to trick-or-treat earlier in the day, rather than right after school ended. Snickers liked the idea since sales boomed when Halloween was on a weekend. They even promised to give away one million free Snickers bars if the Federal Government changed the holiday. It didn't work.