Jean knew better than to test a threat from Eren, so he made sure never to mention Armin or Mikasa again, and he refrained from homophobic language while at work. After all, he did not want to risk losing his job just for some jabs at his old rival.

That did not mean the pranks and small torments stopped. On Monday, Jean microwaved Eren's coffee while he was in the restroom, so when he came back and took a sip, it burned his tongue, sending Jean into peals of laughter.

On Tuesday, Jean sent Eren an email about important tasks that Eld Jinn needed to be done before morning, and conveniently sent it at 4:45 PM, forcing Eren to work overtime, so late into the night that by the time he got home, he skipped dinner and collapsed into bed.

The next morning, Eld called Eren into his office, concerned about the shoddy, rushed work. Eren apologized but noted that if he had been given more time, he could have polished up the draft. Eld looked confused and said he had requested the task first thing in the morning. Eren showed the email from Jean, sent at the end of the day. Eld said he would have a talk with Jean, but the man's work up to that point had been impeccable, so one late email was not enough to punish him.

Of course, Eren had noted that none of Jean's pranks were ever done twice. He was smarter than to make something habitual. When Eren left Eld's office fuming with rage, Jean was right down the hall, chuckling with that annoying smile.

Eren's brow tensed as he glared down the hall. "You have a sick sense of humor, putting the reputation of this company at risk just to get some laughs."

Jean shrugged nonchalantly. "I knew you could do it in time."

"I couldn't, you ass. It took me until eight at night, and Eld was disappointed in the work. Even if you had given that project to me when he first asked, it would have been an all-day task."

Jean smirked slyly. "Then maybe you're not as talented than Reiner insists you are. Better watch out, or I'll take your job." With that, he turned away, sauntering off.

Eren let out a growl and returned to his desk.

Two days later, Eren saw Jean again, seemingly waiting for him in the hallway to the executives' offices.

"Chatting with the CEO again?"

Eren shouldered past him. "I'm busy. Can I ignore you some other time?"

"You sure do get called into Levi's office a lot. Is everything okay?"

"None of your business," he snapped.

"Whoa, I'm just asking as a concerned friend."

"You are not my friend," Eren snarled quietly.

"Are you gonna get fired? Should I polish up my resume to take your job?"

"In your dreams, horse-face."

Jean's eyes narrowed. "Seriously, what have you and Levi got going on? No one gets called into his office as much as you, not even Eld. Holy shit." He paused in his loping gait beside Eren. "Are you having an affair with the CEO?"

Eren spun around at him. "What the hell are you talking about?"

"Well, he calls you to his office at least once a week, you're in there for hours, and Reiner said something about you being obsessed with him."

"I respect Mr. Ackerman. That's a big difference."

Jean grinned playfully. "Do you have the hots for the boss?"

Eren grabbed Jean by his shirt. "You do not disrespect him, got it?"

Another voice shouted out, "Hey, you two!"

Eren pulled back, cursing himself for letting Jean's taunting get the better of him. Luckily, it was Reiner coming up the hallway and not any of the managers.

"You both seriously need to cool off."

"Tell that to the stalker here," Eren said, thumbing over at Jean.

"What did I do?" Jean asked, feigning innocence.

Reiner's ice cold eyes shifted to Jean. "I heard enough. I know you're trying to rile Eren up, just like you always did in school, but do not talk that way about Levi Ackerman. Trust me, you don't want to piss him off."

Jean bowed his head, although he was still smirking. "My apologies. It won't happen again."

Eren shook his head. He leaned into Jean and whispered, "I swear, you're the same as you were back then: a pathetic, angry, little child."

With that scathing hiss, Eren walked away, and Reiner jogged to catch up with him in order to give Eren the same lecture he had a dozen times before: not to let Jean get the better of him.

Jean's smile slowly faded as he watched Eren's back walking away from him. "Pathetic and angry? Yep, that was me. And it's all your fault, Eren Jaeger."

https://youtu.be/LaTGrV58wec

APRIL 22, 1991 (Age 12, 6th Grade)

"Did you hear? Eren said he's going to the spring dance."

"No way! Does he have a date already?"

"I wish! He's taking that adopted sister of his since no boy wants to ask her out."

"What a waste! I would die if Eren Jaeger asked me out."

Jean tried to focus on his social studies book, but the surrounding gossip forced out paragraphs on history.

Eren! All the girls swooned over Eren. After all, he had good looks, a father who was a doctor, a mother who won the school baking contest every year, and when his family decided to adopt an orphan named Mikasa, that made every girl in school cry that they were so jealous of her. One went so far as to say she wished her parents would be murdered so the Jaegers would adopt her too.

Jean put on his most charming smile and leaned toward the two girls. "Hey, I'm free for the dance. How about you be my date?"

Both girls drew back. "Eww, no."

"Yeah, Jean! You may be Eren's neighbor, but you are no Eren Jaeger."

One went into a fake swoon. "Ooh, he can hunt my heart any time."

"He can capture more than just my heart."

They began to giggle, and Jean pulled back.

Seriously, Eren had everything. The looks, the money, the popularity. And worse, he didn't even seem to notice how fortunate he was.

At lunch, Jean got his tray of food, glaring at the half-burnt lump of meat that the lunch lady claimed was roast beef.

"Jean!"

He looked up and saw Eren waving to him. With him was Mikasa, trying to hide behind her scarf like always. Jean hesitated. After the rejection of those girls, he really did not feel like eating lunch with The Prince of sixth grade. Still, he forced his feet over, since he had no one else to sit next to. Who else wanted to be friends with a loser like him?

Eren looked at Jean's school lunch. "Wow, that looks gross. Hey, wanna share my pudding?"

"No thanks," Jean muttered.

Eren began to pull out food from his Star Trek: The Next Generation lunch box with Wesley Crusher, Captain Picard, and Data on the front. The show had really captured the heart of the sci-fi-loving Eren.

Jean watched as Eren set the food on the lunch bench. A turkey sandwich with swiss cheese and honey mustard on some fancy artisan bread, homemade cookies, yogurt, celery sticks, radishes cut into roses, a small jar of ranch dressing, home-baked sweet potato chips, and a Starship Enterprise thermos of apple juice.

Jean glared at that lunch box as if it summed up all the bitterness that had begun to take hold in his heart.

"Hey, are you okay?" Eren asked, worried about Jean's cold stare. "Is your dad still mad? I don't know what I did wrong, but I'm sorry."

"Ignore him," Jean grumbled. "He's just a cranky old man. So hey, I heard you and Mikasa are going to the school dance."

"Yeah, Dad gave us permission to go. How about you?"

"If I ask my mom, she'll let me go. I just need a date. Hey, why not let me take Mikasa and you can take one of your millions of fans."

Eren laughed awkwardly. "No, I'd rather actually have fun. I tried asking out Annie. She turned me down. I'm not really comfortable around most girls, except for Mikasa."

Jean's eyes narrowed as he fell silent again.

"Armin!" Eren suddenly shouted, waving excitedly.

Jean scooted over to give the tiny blond boy enough room on their bench. Due to his many allergies, his grandfather packed him a special lunch: a plain chicken sandwich on potato bread, carrots, apple slices, and a bottle of water.

"That looks better than mine," Jean grumbled.

Armin's huge, innocent eyes blinked in surprise. "Is it? I can share the carrots."

"Nah," he grumbled, silently hating everyone's pity.

Armin shrugged off his scowl. "So, what were you guys talking about?"

"The dance," Mikasa said, deftly picking through her packed lunch, which was identical to Eren's. "Can you go?"

"Well, my grandfather didn't say no, but I doubt anyone wants to go with me."

Eren perked up. "Hey Jean, ask Armin out."

His fist hit the table. "Fuck off, Eren!"

All three of them froze, and Armin whispered in horror, "You said the F word." No one said that word!

Eren looked upset. "What's your problem? If you go with Armin, then we can all go to the dance."

"You go with Armin," he snapped.

"Fine. Mikasa, are you okay going with Jean?"

She shrugged. "It makes no difference to me."

"Gee, thanks," Jean grumbled.

"And Armin, are you okay going with me?"

"Sure!" he said brightly.

"Well, there we go! See, no need to get upset."

Jean slouched and looked away. "You don't understand."

News around school spread. That morning, all the girls had been lamenting that Eren was going to the dance with Mikasa. The new rumor rocked both boys and girls.

"Wait, Eren is going out with Armin?"

"Isn't he that class brain with all the allergies?

"He sort of looks like a girl. Did Eren get confused?"

"Does this make Eren ... g-g-gay?"

"I heard that Armin is gay."

"Wait, does that mean all of his friends are gay?"

"Is Jean gay?"

"I'm not gay!" yelled Jean.

The gossipers looked over at his shout. "Do you have a date?"

"Yes, I'm going with Mikasa."

"Only because Eren needs someone to take his sister. I bet you can't get a girl on your own."

The laughs haunted him.

* * *

https://youtu.be/xweiQukBM_k

APRIL 27, 1991 (SATURDAY)

Finally, it was Saturday night, the day of the Spring Dance. This was the very first dance for the sixth graders, and so it was a huge rite of passage. Girls wore their best dresses with their hair done up. The boys all wore ties and nice shirts. Jean's mother had gone out and bought him a little suit, complete with a small handkerchief folded in the breast pocket.

Jean was honestly nervous about being with Mikasa. He had a crush on her since they were seven, but Eren had been clear that she was off limits, and she never returned his affections. They stood in line to get into the dance, everyone waiting eagerly with their dance tickets in hand. Looking around, most of the couples looked bashful and awkward. Only a few were bold enough to hold hands. Biting his lip, Jean reached his hand over and grabbed hold of Mikasa's fingers.

She yanked away and glared at him. "What are you doing?"

"Uh, holding your hand?" he said sheepishly.

"Don't," she said brusquely.

Jean slumped and wished they could get inside already.

Finally, the vice principal guarding the door collected their tickets and wished them fun. Inside, the school's cafeteria had been transformed into a party.

"This is awesome," Eren cried out.

The lights were low, there was a disco ball casting bubbles of light on the walls, and up on the stage was a DJ playing Paula Abdul's latest hit single, Opposites Attract. Eren laughed and ran to the dance floor, dragging Armin along with him. Armin blushed and tried to refuse, but there was no getting past Eren's enthusiasm for fun.

Jean remembered what his mother had told him before he left. Be a gentleman to Mikasa. He turned to her, bowed, and said in his most suave voice, "May I have this dance?"

Mikasa looked at him with emotionless eyes, making Jean nervous. Had he said it wrong? Had he bowed wrong? Was bowing an inappropriate thing to do for her, being half-Japanese? Would she think he was mocking her?

She turned from him and looked out to the dance floor. "I'd rather just stand here with you."

"Oh." It was a no but at least she wanted to be near him, which made Jean happy. "Uh, you look pretty."

"Thank you," she said with no hint of an emotional response.

"Are you wearing perfume?"

"Carla sprayed something on me. It's a weird smell."

"It's really nice. Like flowers."

She made no comment back.

Jean frowned, knowing this was not how things were supposed to go. He glanced around at other couples. Most were not dancing, looking just as awkward as they were, except the girls were blushing and the boys looked confused. Jean at least knew how to flirt ... sort of ... he had dated someone before, and he had practiced some pickup lines.

He had also practiced kissing.

https://youtu.be/0iAzMRKFX3c

A few songs later, the tempo changed to a ballad, and Bette Midler's Wind Beneath My Wings came on.

"I like this song," Mikasa suddenly said.

"Yeah?" Jean asked hopefully.

"Yes. I always thought that I would love to fly."

His lips pulled into a pout. "I don't think it's actually about flying."

She glanced over, looking surprised. "No? But she says I can fly higher than an eagle."

"I think it's what the teacher calls a metaphor."

Mikasa looked disappointed.

"But what do I know!" Jean cried out. "Maybe it's about flying after all."

"Well, at least I want to be someone's hero."

He smiled flirtatiously. "You're my hero. You're everything I would like to be," he replied, quoting along with the chorus.

Just then, Eren and Armin left the dance floor. "I don't wanna dance to slow songs. Why did they have to play something boring?"

"I need to pee," whined Armin.

"Me too," said Eren. "Be right back! Tell the DJ to play something fast and fun." Then the two left together.

Jean glanced around the school dance, licked his lips, and fisted up his hand in determination. "Hey, you know what we're supposed to do at a dance?"

"I don't want to dance," Mikasa said flatly.

"I mean other than that. How about we eat something? There's cookies, and I see a punch bowl."

She nodded with a hum of interest—cookies were always good—and they set off. Jean was glad to be walking around, not just standing against the wall staring out at the fun.

"Oh hey! Reiner!" Jean waved as he saw the large blond at the punch bowl, pouring a drink for himself and his date. "Historia! Wow, you look amazing," he cried out. She really did, shining like a star in a dress fit for a queen. Jean felt a sting of jealousy.

Historia blushed and giggled. "Thanks. Mikasa, that dress is really pretty on you."

"Thank you," she said softly, focused on the selection of cookies.

"So," Reiner said, pulling Jean aside from the girls. "Mikasa, huh? I heard you only went with her because you couldn't find a date in time."

"That's not my problem. I thought I was going with Hannah, but she dumped me the minute Franz asked her out."

"I heard rumors about that. That sucks, man. Well, Mikasa is cute."

"She sure is," Jean sighed, looking at her as she ate cookies while Historia chatted excitedly.

"Have you two danced?"

"She said she didn't want to yet."

"Yeah, Historia wants to wait until more people show up. I guess we're getting pictures taken with some of her friends, and then she said we can dance."

"Oh. Maybe that's it," Jean said, feeling a little more hopeful now.

"Have you two ... you know," Reiner whispered, nudging him.

"H-Have we what?" Jean stuttered, already blushing.

"Kissed, you doofus." He leaned forward and whispered into Jean's ear. "Historia let me kiss her on the cheek, but honestly, I'm hoping for more before the end of the night."

"Oh, uh..."

Mikasa walked over. "I would punch him in the gut if he tries."

Jean leaped back, and Reiner looked shocked. He glanced back over at Jean with pity.

"Good luck, man." With that, he took Historia by the arm and asked her where she wanted to go next.

Jean now felt even more awkward as he stood against the wall with Mikasa munching on cookies, looking satisfied with merely watching. He tapped his foot, really wanting to run out there and dance to the music, but also feeling like the gentlemanly thing was to stay with his date.

He turned to her. "Hey, were you serious back there? You'd punch me?"

"Yes," she said factually.

"Then why did you agree to go to the dance with me if you don't want to dance, don't want to hold hands, and won't kiss me."

She shrugged. "You couldn't find a date."

"I could have if Eren hadn't butted in."

"Then Armin wouldn't have had a date."

"You could have been Armin's date. Eren and I can find girls if we want to. Eren's got the looks, and I'm an amazing kisser."

"Says who?"

Jean's face went bright red. "That's ... n-none of your business. I'll show you!" he suddenly challenged. "I can get any girl I want."

Mikasa shrugged, not interested in his bravado. So Jean stomped over to a mousy girl who had come with her best friend.

"Hey, Mina. Dance with me."

The tiny girl with her hair done in modest black braids squeaked at the command. "O-Okay?"

Jean took her out to the dance floor. See! He could get a girl. He could get any girl he wanted.

After the song, Jean leaned over and kissed Mina on the cheek. Her face burst solid red, and her friend had to run forward as it looked like she might faint. Jean then went over to Anka Rheinberger, a 13-year-old known for being one of the smartest girls in the school. He liked the shocked expression on her face when he, a mere 11-year-old, asked her to dance. She agreed, looking amused by his courage. After the song, when he asked to kiss her cheek, she giggled—she honestly thought it was adorable of such a young boy—and allowed him.

Another song, another girl, and another. Fast songs, ballads, it didn't matter. He was working his way around the room, hitting up not only girls in his grade, but all of them. Even girls who came with other boys said yes to him. The evening went on, and Jean's ego boosted.

That is, until Eren stepped between him and his next target.

"You haven't danced with Mikasa."

She was right behind her adopted brother. "Stop, really. I told you, I don't want to dance."

"That's not the point," snapped Eren. "Jean took you, and he should stick with you. That's what a gentleman does."

"What would you know about that?" Jean shouted. "You took a boy to the dance. That's what a faggot does!"

Eren's mouth dropped, and he stood silently on the dance floor, looking stunned, confused, and hurt.

Jean smirked sadistically. Perfect Prince Eren Jaeger with his perfect rich life, and now look at him! Ready to cry! A sick pleasure twisted in Jean's stomach, while his heart screamed at him to apologize.

Mikasa was suddenly right in Jean's face with murderous eyes, scaring Jean back a few steps. She had gone from wallflower to femme fatale in no time.

"Take that back."

"I said nothing wrong," Jean argued. "He took a boy as his date. And not just any boy: a known faggot."

"What you're saying is dirty. Take it back!"

Eren placed a hand on Mikasa's shoulder. "Let me handle this."

Mikasa stepped aside as Eren stepped forward. His head was down, his bangs hiding his eyes.

Jean smirked at him and folded his arms in a challenge. "Whatcha gonna do about it, Perfect Prince Eren?"

The glare that shot up flared with anger. "No one ... insults ... my friends."

With no other warning, Eren's fist flew, and Jean was punched right across the face. He fell to the wooden dance floor, and people screamed as they got out of the way.

"Fight, fight, fight!" a few boys chanted.

Jean leaped right back up and punched Eren, getting him in the jaw. Eren took it in stride and slugged Jean in the stomach, sending him doubled over in pain.

The two grabbed at each other's clothes, grappling, with the sound of fabric ripping mixing to the music of Guns N' Roses's Welcome to the Jungle. Children screamed, some cheered, and teachers blew whistles.

https://youtu.be/o1tj2zJ2Wvg

* * *

[TRIGGER WARNING: The following scene contains a lot of homophobic language. I want to show how Jean got brainwashed into the man he now is, and sadly, this is the way many people talk, and how parents can pass on hate and intolerance to the next generation. I rarely issue trigger warnings—I'm opposed to them from a professional perspective—but I just want to warn you, it can be upsetting. It should be! Language like this has NEVER been appropriate, not in 1991, not in 2003, and not today.]

Jean could not remember what happened afterward, only that when their parents were called, Jean kept shouting, "I don't want to ride home with a faggot!" In the end, Linny Kirschtein came to get his son, while Grisha came to take Eren home.

Jean's face hurt, but he had a smug smile that his father caught.

"Did you win the fight?"

"Of course," he boasted.

"What was it about?"

"Eren didn't like that I was popular with the girls."

Linny burst out in a laugh. "That's my boy! So, what did he say?"

"Not much, but then I said he was a faggot for taking Armin to the dance, and he punched me."

Linny looked over sharply. "Eren took the Arlelt boy as his date?" He sighed and shook his head in disappointment. "Sick! The school shouldn't allow that, nor should his parents. Not like I expect much from a couple of liberal commies like the Jaegers. I'll have a talk with Grisha tomorrow about this, try to make him see the problem, and hopefully convince him to get his son away from that gay little twerp. There are ways to make sure boys don't become faggots, therapy to keep 'em straight. I'm gonna suggest they get started on Eren while he's still young. It's too late for the Arlelt boy, but I'd hate to have neighbors with a homo kid. I'm also worried if that Mikasa girl is a dyke."

"Dyke?" Jean asked, not recognizing that word.

"Boys who like boys are faggots, girls who like girls are dykes, and all of those sick people are lumped together as homos."

"Girls can like girls?" Jean whispered. His cheeks went pink with visions of two girls kissing.

Linny grumbled, "Fuck, I hope that isn't a family of homos. We'd have to move out of the neighborhood just to keep you safe."

"Safe from what?" Jean asked in worry.

"Faggots rape little boys."

"What's rape?"

Linny paused and looked down at the young boy, only to turn his eyes back on the road. "Forget that word. They're dangerous and immoral, leave it at that. They spread AIDS, and AIDS can kill you. There are some horrible parents out there, letting their sons do that and condemning them to death. The Jaegers are good people, for a bunch of liberal commies, so with any luck, Grisha will listen to reason. He's a doctor, he knows how bad AIDS is. It's been killing off the gays for years. Eren can be cured of this homo sickness before it gets too bad and he comes down with AIDS too."

"Armin is always sick. Does Armin have AIDS? Is he gonna die?"

"Who knows! You have gay sex just once, and God will strike you down with AIDS."

Jean frowned sadly. "I don't want Armin to die."

"Then pray he starts to like girls and turns straight. Pray every night for his soul, ya hear? Pray the gay away! If that don't work, ya beat it out of him." Linny glowered at the dark street ahead of him. "That Arlelt boy has got all sorts of illnesses since his birth, so being a faggot is just one of 'em. With any luck, he'll be too sick with everything else to ever go totally gay."

"So, he's not totally gay yet?"

Linny muttered, "I sure as fuck hope not."

"How do I know if he goes totally gay?"

Linny glanced over again, judged his age, and tried to come up with something a young boy would understand. "Ya know your thing down there in your pants?"

"My peepee?"

"Yeah, gays like to stick it up men's butts."

"Eww!" Jean cried out. "That's gross."

"Exactly. It's gross and gay. If Armin ever says he's done that, there's no saving him."

"Will he get AIDS and die?"

"Yep. God sent that plague to rid this world of their evil."

Jean hugged himself as he trembled. "If Armin goes totally gay, will he have to leave school?"

"He should," Linny snapped. "Back in my day, schools kicked out the fags and dykes, but these damn liberals are all oh no protect the homo. They don't give a damn if they spread AIDS around. Fuck, if I was President, I'd round 'em up an' shoot 'em all."

"Shoot Armin?" Jean asked in horror.

"Every last one of 'em," he insisted. "Or send 'em all to France, fatherland of the fuckin' faggots. Instead, fags can still go to school, get jobs, even run for office, but in the end, they're all going to Hell. It's in the Bible, y'know. Sodomy is a sin."

"What's sodomy?"

"Sticking dicks up your butt. Don't do that, and you won't have to worry." Linny softened his voice into a secretive whisper. "Seriously, watch out with that Arlelt boy, and don't be around him all alone. He may try to kiss you."

Jean jolted and looked over in horror. "Kiss me? W-What do you mean? Why would he do that?"

"Because he's a faggot, that's why! Faggots spread their gayness like a disease, and Eren's been friends with Armin since y'all started school. I think it's rubbing off on him. It better not rub off on you. Dammit, I will not have a faggot for a son!"

Jean frowned at his father's raised voice. "What ... What if I am one?"

"You're not! Do you stick things up your butt?"

"Of course not!"

"Do you wanna kiss boys?"

A gasp caught in Jean's throat. "What if you kiss one on a dare?"

"Who?" Linny roared.

Jean shrank down. "I dunno. Since third grade, on the playground we dare each other to kiss boys or girls. Is ... Is that gay? Does kissing make me a faggot?"

Linny slowly calmed down. "If it's a dare, it doesn't count, but never take a dare like that again. If someone dares you to kiss a boy, they're probably a fag and should be punched."

"But I'm not gay yet, right?"

"Only if you really wanted to kiss the boy. Fags wanna kiss boys and touch them in disgusting ways. They're dangerous. Armin's never tried to kiss you, has he?" Linny shot Jean a sharp look.

"No, of course not!" he shouted, trembling at the cold stare.

"Good. I'd fuckin' shoot him myself if he did."

"You'd ... shoot him ... if he kissed me?"

"Hell yes! No faggot's gonna touch my son."

Jean looked down at the bruises on his knuckles. "What happens if Armin does get me sick and makes me gay? Are you gonna shoot me too?"

Linny turned, ready to yell, but he saw his son looking scared. His voice calmed down. "Of course not. I could never shoot my own son."

He sighed in relief.

"Although, I'd have to kick you out of the house."

"What?" Jean shouted.

"Don't worry." Linny flashed him a reassuring smile. "Before it gets that bad, I'd get you into therapy, make sure you're cured." He ruffled up Jean's hair. "I'll make sure you grow up pure and straight as an arrow. And hey, uh ... don't tell Ma I told you all this. She don't like me talkin' about homo stuff 'cause her brother is one."

"Do you mean Uncle Gary?"

"Yeah, that's why we never visit him. He's not only a fag, he's a fuckin' fairy."

"Uncle Gary's a fairy?" Jean cried out in amazement.

"Not that sort of fairy. The bad sort. You know how he tries to look like an ugly woman? That's what I mean by fairy. All that makeup smeared on his face, tryin' to get everyone to call him Sandra, like he can't figure out if he was born a boy or a girl."

"He's a boy, right?"

"Sure as God made him, but if you listen to him, you'd think he couldn't look down at his dick and figure it out for himself. Anyway, don't tell Ma I said all that."

"Okay, Pa." It was a secret between father and son.

"And if you at all think you're turning a little gay, you let me know right away, ya got it? I wanna know so we can get you some help."

"How do I know if I'm turning gay?"

"You stop thinking girls are pretty and start thinking boys are. Which do you wanna kiss: a girl or a boy?"

Jean chuckled smugly. "At the dance, I kissed Susie from Class B. She's the prettiest girl in school. And I kissed Anka, who's two grades above me."

"That's my boy! So, other than the fight, did you have fun?"

"Yep! I danced with lots of girls, and I kissed a few of them."

"Already a lady's man!" Linny said proudly, lightly punching Jean in the arm. "You're gonna make me proud, boy. How about Mikasa?"

"She was boring. She didn't want to hold hands, she refused to dance, and she said she'd punch me if I tried to kiss her."

"Yeah, I bet she's a dyke," Linny muttered. "When you grow up, find yourself a hot babe with really big boobs, not some flat-chested tomboy like her. That's how you have fun in life."

"Big boobs?"

"Yep! Girls in your school are gonna start growin' boobs, so you keep a lookout for the ones with the biggest tits, an' make sure she's a pretty girl. Sure wish I had done that. Your Ma is a great cook with a heck of a rack, but as for looks, well..." He caught himself and closed his mouth tightly. "Get yourself a hot babe. The prettiest one in school."

Jean hummed and nodded. "A hot babe," he muttered.

Dancing had been fun. Watching the shocked faces of those girls when he kissed their cheeks had been amusing.

This was what normal boys did.

At least he wouldn't disappoint his father by being a faggot.

* * *

PRESENT DAY: APRIL 11, 2003

"Perfect Prince Eren," Jean whispered.

Even now as an adult, Eren had the perfect job, lots of commissions, a good relationship with the CEO, and all these years later, he was still handsome with those boyish cheeks and brilliant teal eyes. Jean bet he had lots of girls chasing after him. Probably boys, too.

"Fag-Eren," he mumbled, smirking at the old nickname he had come up with shortly after that day, when he heard Eren and Armin talk about boys they thought were pretty.

A Nokia tone rang, and he pulled out his flip phone. He groaned at seeing the name and quickly answered the call.

"What, Ma?" he said brusquely. "No, I'm at work. Look at the time! What? Fuck, again? Oh God ... okay, which bar is he in? What? Wait, what did he do this time? I see. Did he win the fight? Well, I wanna know if he won! Yeah, okay, okay. How much is the bail? Goddammit..."

He ran his hand through his hair.

"No, I have the money. Barely. I'll need to be paid back." Jean cursed under his breath and shouted, "I don't know, tell him to get a fucking job or sell his gun collection before he shoots someone. Shit..."

He shook his head in exasperation.

"Yeah, yeah, I'll drive out there after work and bail him out. He can sit his ass in jail for a few hours and sober up. It's a long-ass drive, y'know! I expect dinner at the very least. Seriously, though, I need you two to pay me back this time or I won't make rent." He listened, and suddenly Jean yelled in outrage, "No, I am not moving back in! I've not forgiven him, and you shouldn't either. You should get the hell out of there before he kills you."

Jean listened again and groaned. He forcefully shoved down his emotions.

"No, Ma, I ... okay, fine, fine, I won't bring it up." Still, he shook his head in disgust. "Yeah, I'm fine. Work's good. I met some people from the old neighborhood, including that Jaeger kid. Yeah, Eren Jaeger. He works here. Hah! No, of course we're not getting along. Yeah, everything's fine. I really gotta get back to work. Talk to you later. Love you too, Ma."

Jean hung up and shoved his cellphone back into his pocket. He slumped against a wall and ran his hand through his hair.

"Fuckin' Jaeger never had problems like this with his father." He sighed in a low groan of frustration. "Stupid old man."

He buried that down for now and went back to his desk. After work, Jean bumping hard into Eren, causing him to spill his coffee mug. He heard Eren growl at him, but honestly, not even that could alleviate his anger this time.

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Break Stuff was a 2000 hit by rap rock band Limp Bizket. This is absolutely the sort of music I listened to in my angsty years.

Gonna Make You Sweat (Everybody Dance Now) by C+C Music Factory came out in 1990 and was a staple of school dances and clubs for pretty much the entirety of the 90s. The video features model Zelma Davis dancing and lip-syncing to vocals by singer Martha Wash. However, C+C Music Factory did not credit Wash on their album. She tried to negotiate with the producers for credits and royalties, failed, so she had to sue for fraud and commercial appropriation. The case was settled, and in an unprecedented move, Sony requested MTV to add a disclaimer that credited Martha Wash for vocals and Zelma Davis for "visualization" to the music video.

Opposites Attract was a mega-hit by Paula Abdul. It reached #1 in February 1990, where it remained for three weeks. The music video features Paula Abdul dancing with a cartoon character called MC Skat Kat animated by members of the Disney animation team during their off-hours (presumably when they were not working on Beauty and the Beast or Aladdin). It won a Grammy for Best Short Form Music Video.

Wind Beneath My Wings was performed by Bette Midler. The song was named Record of the Year and Song of the Year at the 1990 Grammy Awards.

Welcome to the Jungle by Guns N' Roses released in 1987. In 2009, VH1 named it "the greatest hard rock song of all time." It has been featured in everything from Guitar Hero III, Grand Theft Auto: San Andreas, the trailer for the The Spongebob Movie, and in Thor: Love and Thunder.

Star Trek: The Next Generation aired from 1987 to 1994. In 1989, a lunch box was released with Wesley Crusher, Captain Picard, and Data on the front. I had a friend with this lunch box. Wil Wheaton was my first male "Hollywood crush." (Princess Leia was my first ever Hollywood crush, before I knew what a crush was. When she stepped out of the Ewok hut with her hair down, little 3-year-old me was blushing and utterly smitten.)

Personal Notes:

In my middle school, only 7th and 8th graders could attend school dances. I went, but I never danced with the boys. I came VERY close to asking my crush to dance with me on the very last song of the graduation dance, but some other girl beat me to him. (That song was It's So Hard to Say Goodbye to Yesterday by Boyz II Men ... yes, I remember the song because, as the final song of our middle school life, the lyrics made me cry!)

A little private in-joke: our school turned the cafeteria kitchen into a karaoke room where students could pay for a recording of them singing karaoke. However, anyone could stroll inside, and there was quite the audience. One group of boys decided to sing Welcome to the Jungle. Guns N' Roses was my brother's favorite band, so I knew all the lyrics. It was painfully obvious that these boys didn't know the words to the song besides the chorus. I was singing along, they were getting lost in the rapid parts, and before you knew it, the only kid singing WAS ME. They all shot death glares at me. Here was this LITTLE GIRL singing a heavy metal song!

So in this chapter, Welcome to the Jungle is playing as Eren and Jean fight.