I need some time just deliver the things that I need for now

Everything that I feel's like a warm deep calm casting over me

And it's taking me to somewhere new

"P-please don't leave me. Josh please." I beg.

He can't really be leaving me.

"Tyler, I'm sorry, but you'll find someone better, you'll be happier."

If you believe that everything's alright

You won't be all alone tonight

And I'd be blessed by the light of your company,

Slowly lifting me to somewhere new

"But Josh, you said you'd never leave me." I argue as fear trickles down my cheeks.

He sighs, and when he puts his hand on my shoulder, I can't help but to flinch.

"See? Tyler, I can't even put my hand on your shoulder without you flinching! I don't know what I did, but I can't be with someone who's afraid of me."

"Josh the only thing I'm afraid of right now is you leaving me! Please don't do this. Please." I break down as he gives me one last look before exiting the house, letting a little of the summer rain into the foyer.

Oh can you tell, I haven't slept very well

I stand in the foyer, shaking violently.

No. What? Is there really something wrong with me?

"No." I whisper, staring at the door that Josh shut on the way out.

"No no no." I shake my head.

I sit down rather harshly, falling to the floor, sobbing.

"No no no Josh, Josh come back."

Since the last time that we spoke, you said

"Please understand if I see you again don't even say hello."

I run up the stairs, tripping slightly on a few.

I grab my phone off of the bedside table and speed dial Josh.

Please

"Hi, this is Josh's voicemail! I'm Tyler and he most likely loves me more than you! Unless this is Ms.Dunn, then no... Anyway, leave a message and the most perfect man ever will try and call you back!"

I let out a sob, remembering when we set each others voicemail.

I hear the beep and let out a very shaky breath.

"J-Josh. Please, please come back. I'm sorry. I'll change! I'll be someone else if that will make you love me!" I start sobbing again and press the disconnect button.

What a night it is, when you live like this

And you're coming up beneath the clouds,

Don't let me down

I pull up the sleeve of my floral shirt and look at the faded writing left sitting on my skin.

It reads, "Josh loves Tyler". He wrote it the other day after I had been trying to draw on him with Sharpie during a show.

He said he wouldn't leave me.

I need him, I need Josh. He's the only one who I ever thought could possibly love me, and he left.

All the love's still there I just don't know what to do with it now

You know, I still can't believe we both did some things

I don't even wanna think about

This, this isn't okay! I, I trusted him! I believed him when he told me he loved me.

He lied he lied he lied.

"No! No, go away! I got rid of you! Josh got rid of you."

Well, I'm back, and I told you so.

Josh never loved you, I told you that he didn't!

NO no no, "Blurry, Get the fuck out."

Just say you love me and I'll say "I'm sorry,

I don't want anybody else to feel this way"

Why do you insist on calling me that? I'm just your thoughts Tyler.

No, no, no

"But, Josh, Josh said that I was better than you. Better than this!" I speak out loud. Nobody's here to hear me anyway.

Josh lied Tyler, he said a lot of things but they were all lies. He said he loved you, he said you were worth something; he said he would stay with you. All lies Tyler.

Oh can you tell, I haven't slept very well

Since the last time that we spoke, I said

"Blurry SHUT UP." I scream, throwing a cup from the side table across the room.

"HE LOVES ME." I shudder and collapse on the bed. "He has to love me."

"Please understand I've been drinking again, and all I do is hope"

You know how you can fix this Tyler.

"No Blurry, no I can't do that anymore. I can't do that again."

Tyler you know you want to.

I stand up and walk down the stairs, feeling like a zombie.

Please... stay

I pull a bottle out of the cabinet and open it.

Do it.

Please stay

My hands shake as I take a drink.

The first time in months.

You always were a sad drunk.

"Well Blurry, I guess it's just you and me now."

I say as I slide down the cabinet, sitting on the floor once again.

I lift the bottle to my moth again, ugh, I hate the taste of Vodka, but it's all that we have.

I'll admit I was wrong about everything

Cause I'm high and I don't wanna come down

Suddenly, there's a knock at the door. My heart both flutters and falls in the hope that it might be Josh.

It's not Josh.

"Shut up." I mutter as I stare at the door.

"Tyler, Tyler it's Josh! Please open up!"

I drop the bottle and run to the door, throwing it open.

"Josh?" My eyes water and I blink a few times.

All the fun that we had on your mothers couch,

I don't even wanna think about

Josh rushes to hug me as tears spill down my cheeks again.

"I'm so sorry Tyler, I thought, I thought that if I left you would be better off. I- I thought I was hurting you. I didn't know how, I just.. thought I was. You seemed afraid of me at times. I didn't want you to be afraid."

"Josh, Josh I wasn't afraid of you. I never have been. I've always been afraid of loosing you. I'm always comfortable with you and sometimes I regret that because I knew if, if you left I couldn't bare not having your subtle touches and kind words. They burn my ears because your oxygen will set my world on fire if you ever say goodbye. Josh please. Please stay." I sob into his shoulder.

I'm not strong enough for the both of us

What was I supposed to do

"I'm so sorry Tyler, I'm so sorry." Josh kicks the door shut and locks it.

Josh turns around and stops when he sees the bottle on the floor in the kitchen.

"Tyler, baby." He says, wrapping his arms around me again.

"No no no" he whispers. "I'm so sorry baby, I'm so sorry." he strokes my hair and we stand there.

The silence not so deafening this time.

"Blurry came back Josh. I thought you were gone, and Blurry came back."

You know I love you

Josh pulls away and looks into my eyes. "I'm so sorry Tyler, I don't, I- I'm so sorry baby boy, I'm so very sorry."

Whoa-oh

"It's okay Josh." He engulfs me in a hug once more, and rests his head on top of mine.

"You know I love you, right?"

Please just stay

I wait a moment, expecting Blurry to say something, to tell me it's a lie, but he never does.

"I do now Josh." he sighs and pulls me closer.

"I love you so much Ty. I really do."

"I love you too Josh. Please stay. I'll always be afraid, but I need you here."

"Don't worry baby, I'm never leaving you again."

Stay