yet i can hear the love in your voice each time we talk

. . .

"Ugh! Where is it?!" I have already thrown all my clothes on the floor, and flipped my closet, but my black lingerie is missing. I don't remember throwing it away. Oh yes of course, I didn't throw it away because I didn't take it off in the first place!

"Jeon Jungkook!" I hastily went out of my room and barged into his. I searched his drawers while I waited for him to end his love talk with, I suppose, his new girlfriend? Don't care, don't mind. He's a dead meat to me.

"Talk to you later, babe. My roommate is raising hell in my room." He dropped the call and approached me, acting all innocent and confused. "What are you doing?"

"Where did you put my lingerie?!" I slapped his arm with his shirt I'm holding.

"Aw! Why do you need to know? Are you wearing it again?!" He rubbed his arm, trying to recover from the sting.

"Of course, I'm wearing it again, dumba.ss! Tell me where it is!" I kept hitting him until he finally spilled the tea.

"I hid it, okay?! and I'm not giving it back, you cannot wear that unless we're together or we have a date; I told you that before. How could you forget?!"

"You can't tell me what to do; I'm not your girlfriend anymore! How could you forget?!"

There was a brief moment of silence. He took a gulp, visible enough for me to notice the movement on his throat. I didn't think what to say. It came out as quick as lightning, it's just how my heart felt. He's no one. He's just a friend.

"I'm still not giving it back though. I bought that for you, so I have the right to take it back," he spoke proudly.

"So we're taking back things now huh, fine then!" I went straight to the living room, he followed. I snatched his Overwatch CD and broke it infront of his eyes. That's what you get for fuc.king around, jerk!

"Hyeri, what the fuc.k?! I love that game!"

"Not anymore, assh.ole!"

He glared at me, thinking of a way to get back. He entered his room, and went back holding my lingerie. Oh thank you, violence will keep him moving. I see. He smirked before pulling out a pair of scissors and cutting it into pieces.

"Jungkook! That's from Victoria's Secret!"

"I'm aware, bi.tch. I bought it!"

Our argument was halted by a sudden call. From my mom.

"Aren't you gonna answer that?" he asked.

"Shut up, your voice annoys me."

I took a deep breath and picked up the phone, "Mom?"

"Be ready by 8. Dinner Tonight. Heechul will fetch both of you." And just like that, my mother ended the call. I can't believe she would even ask Heechul, our family driver, to fetch us. Wow, how I wish I could do the same to her. But she'll end up asking shi.tload of questions.

"What is it?"

"Dinner at 8. Our driver will come."

We'd calmed ourselves for a short while before diverting our attentions back on the wrecked CD and the torn cloth.

"You know I'm not gonna forgive you after what you did," I grumbled after throwing his good for nothing CD.

"Neither will I." He tore my lingerie completely, leaving no hope of repair.

"Fine!"

"Fine!"

"J.erk!"

"B.itch!"

"D.ouche!"

"S.lut!"

Whhhhhhaaaat? My jaw dropped at the last word he threw. Oh, he's trying me!

"P.ussy!"

"Ohhhh, how dare you?!"

I mocked him by sticking my tongue out at his ugly face. "Boy, are you gonna cry?!"

He pointed his finger at me and ran to his room.

***

"Jungkook, hurry up! The driver is here!" Goodness gracious, what's taking him forever to dress up? We're not going to prom or something!

"Stop jerking off, let's go!" I knocked his door a few times, and after the one hundredth eighty seventh knock —

"How do I look?"

...

Wow, okay, he looks fine. I mean, soooo fine. Damn I wish he was still mine. Ergh, no, stupid brain. I stared at his visuals for a solid minute before slapping myself back to reality.

"Are you eye-raping me?" He moved closer, his face thoroughly inspecting my expressions.

"We're almost late, thanks to you!" I pushed him away and slacked myself in the car. We were both seated at the backseat, leaving a huge space between us.

"I'm sorry to ask but are you on a fight, ma'am, sir?" the driver asked.

"No," he exclaimed at the same time I said "Yes". We gave each other fiery looks. There were imaginary lightnings and thunders on the space between us.

I saw Heechul raise an eyebrow upon hearing our unusual response. "Love is patient, love is kind," he claimed.

Yeah right, as if there was still love between us — even just a little. Sometimes I wonder if a little amount of care from him would save us both, but the more I see his pretty face, the more I'm pushed over the edge of giving up.

"It does not envy. It does not boast. It is not proud," he continued.

Heechul has been our family driver since I was a little girl and I watched him blurt out random bible verses every time my mom and dad are in a fight, and somehow it worked. But sometimes, no matter how hard you try and patch things up, it's still damaged. It works best when it is broken.

"It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres."

With every word he said, I was more driven mad. I tell myself I don't love him anymore, but something aches every time I look at him. There's always a feeling of uncertainty every time he's around, and it haunts me.

"I love you," he spoke out of the blue.

I froze on my seat not knowing what to do. Did he just — tell me he loves me? I didn't respond, but a shockwave of fear crawled on my spine when I felt his hand on mine. What the hell is he doing? Heechul was smiling on the rear-view mirror, proud of what he had done.

I fixed my eyes on Jungkook, and his brown, sad eyes reflected, not anger, but regret. Regret over the wasted time. We stayed that way until we finally arrived to the restaurant where my mother arranged our dinner.

After Heechul drove off, my palm drew a quick slap on his face.

"What the f.uck was that?!"

"A warm up?! Could you stop slapping me? My cheeks are gonna be saggy in the future." He cupped his cheeks and led the way inside.

"Jeon Jungkook, look at me! We're still up on the deal, right? My mom won't know."

"I think my acting skills worked a while back. Don't worry, babe. I got this!" He held my hand and dragged me along his path.

"There you are! Jungkook! Hyeri!"

"Mom!" We walked over to her, Jungkook still holding my hand, acting all boyfriend-ish while I try to do my part.

"So? Do I hear wedding bells?"

I chocked on the glass of wine I was drinking. I don't hear wedding bells, MOM! I hear demons whispering, telling me that I should kick Jungkook on his nuts because his hands are crawling on my thigh!

"I'm sorry, I don't like the taste of this. It's too bitter! Excuse me?! Waiter?"

That was the best excuse I came up with. Kookie snatched the glass on my hand and approached the counter. He really went for it. While he's away, my mother gave me a gawking look, a flinch might cause my death.

"Your father's just like him. I don't have to move when he's around because he's practically doing everything for me."

Okay, mom, if only Jungkook was as good as my father, but he's not. If only he was. I really hoped he was. I just smiled in response. There's no way I could top what she said. In a span of minutes, he came back with a new glass and a bottle of wine. He opened it and poured some on my glass.

"Hmmm, this is better!" He poured some in mom's glass, as well as his.

Throughout the night, my mom nonstop interrogated us about our relationship and in all fairness, the dinner went smooth. She asked us over to eat to bring us good news, or rather, bad ones.

"I'm supposed to bring this news with Kookie's parents but they were too busy so here I am. We're merging our companies, which means— "

"I'm stuck with him?!" I uttered abruptly. Shi.t! Now I'm dead! My mom gave me a confused look, questioning my face in all respects.

"Did you just raise your voice on me?!"

"I'm sorry. I didn't mean to, I was just surprised. Congratulations, mom."

"Watch your manners, young lady. Jungkook, your parents have been very specific with their terms. The entire corporation will fall on your hands after your marriage."

He squinted his eyes after hearing what she said. Who on earth gave her the permission to tell us what to do with our relationship? If only I could disagree, but that would blow our cover. F.ucking hell! I had to keep my firestorm to myself, I wanted to explode. Why is she deciding the rest of my life? I will marry who I want to marry! But all I could do was fake a smile.

The night ended fine in the restaurant, but all unspoken rants went downhill when we arrived on the apartment.

"Why the hell is your mom deciding who I'm going to marry?!" He angrily threw his coat on the couch and placed his hands on his waist.

I know he's dead serious when he does it and I don't play with him when he's like that. But there's nothing to lose now, is there?

"Mind your words, Jungkook. I know she's being a total bi.tch but she still is my mother!" I tossed my bag on the table and paced back and forth in front of the television. We are so fuc.ked!

"Yeah? then tell her we broke up so this whole skit is done!"

"Why don't you tell her first?! Since you're the one who messed this all up in the first place!"

"Okay, fine! I fu.cked up! But that doesn't mean you'll just let her dictate my future! Don't you mind about my feelings at all? Do you hate me that much?!"

"I so fu.cking loathe you! Stop acting like you're the only victim here because I'm just as mad as you! If only there's something I could do, but I'm stuck with you and trust me, I can't wait for you to leave. I still want you gone, so please just lose this bet for the sake of my sanity." I snagged my bag and walked away. The door frame shook at the amount of strength I released when I violently closed the door.

Upon throwing myself on the mattress, I cried solid tears. It feels heavy inside, and I don't know why. I wish his arms are around me right now. I still need him and I don't know why.

Jungkook's:

She slammed the door after her. Unknowingly, I shed a tear. It cuts deep inside, the words she said. Why do I still worry this much? I want to hold her and tell her I'm sorry, but I'm afraid she'll push me away.