I've been super bored lately and I've had this chapter written for a while. I can't wait to update next Friday tbh so I though I would update now. Surprise if anyone actually read my story. If you've read this far then u r truly fantabulous!!! Enjoy!!!

I watch the boys play Fifa for a little while longer and then they finally decide to start band practice. They all pile into a dimly lit room in Michael's basement and grab their instruments. Ashton takes a seat at the drums, Luke grabs his guitar and adjusts his microphone. Ching Chong grabs a bass guitar and Mikey grabs his guitar. They all fix their microphones one more time and tweak their guitars. I take a seat on an extra stool in the corner and continue eating my waffles. (I grabbed some more in the way down to the basement!)

"1,2,3,4." Ashton says.
"Wait, what are we playing?" Michael's says with a confused look on his face.

I laugh and so do the boys. Mikey puts his hand on his hip and then smile and laughs. Luke goes over to him and gives him a big hug. Mikey rests his head on Luke's shoulder and I can't help but let out a small laugh. Mikey and Luke love. Muke? Yeah, Muke.

"Try Hard." They boys say.

They finally go back to their microphones and get ready to play.

"1,2,3,4."

She dropping outta school 'cause she don't need the grades.
The colors in her hair don't seem to fade.
I get dressed up when I go out, but she gets dressed down.

She's 17, I told her I'm 20.
I couldn't take her out 'cause mum's got no money.
It's stuff like this that makes me wish that I could change somehow.

Sitting here at home.

It's obvious,
She's so out of reach, and I'm finding it hard
'Cause she makes me feel, makes me feel,
Like I try, like I try, like I'm trying too hard,
'Cause I'm not being me, and it's getting me down
That she makes me think, makes me think,
That I try, that I try, that I'm trying too hard again

'Cause I'm trying too hard again

She's got a rose tattoo but she keeps it covered,
I play guitar but she's into drummers,
She's seen my face around but she doesn't even know my name

I pierced my lip so she thinks I'm cool,
I ripped my jeans and dropped out of school,
I followed her 'round the town but she thinks that I'm a weirdo now

Sitting here at home.

It's obvious,
She's so out of reach, and I'm finding it hard
'Cause she makes me feel, makes me feel,
Like I try, like I try, like I'm trying too hard,
'Cause I'm not being me, and it's getting me down
That she makes me think, makes me think,
That I try, that I try, that I'm trying too hard again

But now, who knew?
That she's in the crowd of my show
Nothing to lose,
She's standing right in the front row
The perfect view,
She came along on her own,
And there's something that you should know

You're so out of reach, and I'm finding it hard
'Cause you make me feel, you make me feel,
Yeah she makes me feel, she makes me feel

It's obvious
She's so out of reach, and I'm finding it hard
'Cause she makes me feel, makes me feel,
Like I try, like I try, like I'm trying too hard,
'Cause I'm not being me, and it's getting me down
That she makes me think, makes me think,
That I try, that I try, that I'm trying too hard again

(And again, and again, and again, and again)
'Cause I'm trying too hard again
(And again, and again, and again, and again)
'Cause I'm trying too hard

They stop singing and look over at me. I'm shocked! They're amazing! Wow!

"Wow! I mean wow! That was fucking amazing!!!" I say.

Mikey gives me a stern look, because he hates it when I cuss. He knows I know better. I give him a small smile and put my hands in my hips. He smiles and relaxes.

"Seriously, that was amazing!!" I say again.
"Thanks!" They say together.
"Play something else!!" I practically scream.
"Woah!!" Ching Chong says and puts his hands up like he surrenders. I giggle and they mess around a bit.

Luke looks over at me and smiles. My dark green eyes lock with his gorgeous bright blue ones and we stare at each other for a while. I could stare into his eyes all day. He smile widens and his dimples pop out of his cheeks. I remember how my mom would always stare at me and smile when I was upset. It would always make me feel better. I choke and I can feel tears forming in my eyes. I can't cry in front of the boys! I get up and turn towards the staircase that goes up to the main floor.

"Nice to meet all of you." I say as I exit the room.

"Bye mate!" I hear Ashton say.

I run upstairs and sob. I cry into the couch as hard as I can. I miss my family!!!

Will killing myself take the pain away?

I run out of the house and onto the street. It's only a few blocks away and then I  can take all of my pain away.

I run through the door and feel tears pouring down my cheeks. I search for anything sharp. I scream and bury myself into my pillows when I can't find anything. I get up and ransack every room in the house. I find a box with tiny knives in the kitchen cabinet and throw the contents everywhere. I pick one up and stare at my pale wrist. I've never done anything like this before. I let the blade graze over the skin on my wrist, then I slowly break the surface. Blood instantly oozes out of my wrist and pain surges through my arm.

This will take all of the pain away.

Just a little more pressure and everything will be gone. Everything.

Hey guys. It crushed me to write this chapter. I promise it will get better tho. I just wanted to say that if you're going through something like this that you are important. You matter and if nobody can see that then they are blind. You are loved by someone out there. You are cared for and hurting yourself because you think all of your pain and suffering will go away isn't the key. If you need help please speak up. Silence is the worst call for help. YOU. MATTER. Love you guys.