damn we really do be out here LOVING people and not having them love us baccc huh

damn we really do be missing people real fucking hard and wanting them so badly that any interaction with them is the happiest part of the day.........

hA

hA

ha.

took a personality test yesterday and found out that i'm cold and insensitive! which like i kinda get it but also no???? i'm a big feels person ya know i just don't like expressing it to other people

feelings are WEAKNESS

just kidding but it sure do feel that way sometimes.

let me sit here with my poker face ya feel

people be like hahahahahahhh i like you and i'm like NOPE

people be like let's be a thing and i'm like THREAT TO INDEPENDENCE

damn i really do be out here with my #commitmentissues

i'm so afraid of losing myself in another person. people liking me that much is like giving part of myself up, but unwillingly

i say nO to clinginess and nO to neediness because gimme space

and then i go and fuck shit up with the ONE person that i'd actually do anything for.

hahahahahahAH

fr tho i've never felt shit like this and i want OUT it's such a WASTE OF MY TIME AND ENERGY

but also i wouldn't take the initial feeling back. no. i wouldn't. i wouldn't trade that feeling for anything. it was so wonderful and i'm so happy to know that it exists

but i'm just so afraid that i'll never find it again

because it's not just that i'll never find someone like him again.

i'll never find him.

i just want things to go back to the way they were.

sorry for the shit posting y'all