Michigan: *Winter time go brrr* Hey can I see that bottle of wine?

Ohio: Uh... Ok?

Michigan: *Takes the wine and it freezes in his hands then returns it to Ohio* Thanks. *Leaves*

Ohio: *Crying*

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Texas: *Doing intense math on his 7th whiteboard*

Mexico: What are you doing?

Texas: I'm still working on the math for the amount of Tom fuckery that comes out of your mouth. Like- HOW THE FUCK DOES DEPRESSION NOT EXIST DAD?!

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Wisconsin: *Eating a wheel of cheese*

Minnesota: Maybe you shouldn't eat so mu-

Wisconsin: Shhhhh

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Alaska: Rhode. You're a good friend of mine, so I wanted to give you your Christmas present early. Here *Hands him a miniature kitchen that actually works* ya know. Because you're short.

Rhode Island: This is cool... But still, go FUCK YOURSELF YOU WORTHLESS PIECE OF SHIT! I HATE YOU! BURN IN HELL-

Alaska: *Wheeze*

Rhode: DON'T LAUGH AT ME DICK HEAD!!

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Florida: *Violently shaking Louie* WAKE UP OR I FUCK YOUR MOM!

France: *Who was there the entire time* Excuse me, little man?

Florida: Oh shit-

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London: Oh wise Austrian of the east

D.C: What wisdom do you have to give to us today

Vienna: Penguins can fly if they are thrown hard enough it works with kids too

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Cali: *Walks by a giant lego version of the Titanic*

Cali: All we need now is an ice burg

Gov: You can't just say that-

(True story, totally worth it tho.)

---

Random dude: *Calls D.C* 

D.C: Hello?

Random dude: We have your states.

D.C: which ones?

Random dude: wha- uh... Red beanie... one with a devil on his shirt and... one wearing an Eagles jersey. 

D.C: Pfft- Oh no. Do you mean New York, New Jersey, and Pennsylvania? Yeah. You're not the one who has them bud. Tell them I expect them home before dinner. We're ordering Red Lobster. 

Random dude: Oh...? Ok- *high pitched screams* OH GOD IT'S GOT ME- *Cue the call ending*

Florida: Who was that?

D.C: A dumbass. 

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Georgia: *Sleep talking* One day. One day. I will be sponsored by league of legends... 

Texas: Same bro-

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Miami: *Kisses Houston*

Houston: What did you do wrong this time?

Miami: I... I uh. Broke the vase...

Houston: *Pats his head* I knew it.

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bai bai-