Alaska: So, why is Putin invading you?

Ukraine: Russia once owned my land. And he's never gotten over it.

Alaska: *Nervous sweating*

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Vietnam: *Whose also kicked a world superpower's ass in war* Finally. A worthy opponent. Our battle will be legendary.

Ukraine: *Confused*

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Texas: *Gasps in gun*

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Florida: I need you to open this for me. *Holding a jar of pickles*

Louie: I got chu. *Slaps it out of his hands*

The Jar: *Dies on the floor*

Florida: Thanks, man. *Picks up one of the pickles and eats it.*

NY: *Standing there visibly disgusted*

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India: *Accidently fires missile that enters Pakistan*

DC: I will commit die now-

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NASA: SIR SIR-

Houston: WHAT?

NASA: I-I CAN SEE ZELENSKY'S BALLS FROM FUCKING HOUSTON-

Houston: *Takes of random pair of sunglasses* God damn...

Miami: *Wheeze*

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Germany: I will help on the side of Ukraine!

The entire world: What-

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Cali: THE WORLD IS ON FIRE AND NOW YOU HAVE THE AUDACITY TO ASK ME FOR HELP?!

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Hawaii: *Likes Spam*

The lower 48: This is why you're adopted-

Alaska: The fuck we are all technically adopted...

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Crimea: *exits*

Russia: Mine-

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Michigan: I forgot to tell my sis that I'm going out hold on. *Takes out his phone and calls her*

Ohio: Ok?

Upper Peninsula: *Picks up* What do you fucking want...?

Michigan: Hey I'm going out-

UP: Fuck off and delete my number please. *Hangs up*

Michigan: . . .

Ohio: . . .

Michigan: What is it like to have a loving family Ohio-?

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Bai bai-