Rhode: *Being carried by Alaska* Do I even weigh anything to you?

Alaska: No. it's like holding a couple of grapes.

Rhode: :C

—-

Cali: We don't talk about-

N.Y: A L E X A N D E R H A M I L T O N

Cali: W-we... Don't talk about-

N.Y: HAMILTON!

Cali: *Trying to ignore him* But-

N.Y: I'ma get a scholarship to King's College! I probably shouldn't brag, but dang, I amaze and astonish. The problem is I got a lot of brains but no polish. I gotta holler just to be heard. With every word, I drop knowledge I'm a diamond in the rough, a shiny piece of coal. Tryna reach my goal my power of speech, unimpeachable-

Cali:WE DON'T TALK ABOUT-

The rest of the OG13: HAMILTON! CLICK BOOM *Gun noises*

---

*Sometime in the early 1800's*

Geo: I think I'm raising a psychopath...

Virginia: What do you mean?

Geo: Savannah told me to come here he wanted to show me something. And I go into his room and there's a small wooden box on the floor with flowers all around it. So I ask him what's going on and he said. "This is a funeral daddy you have to pay some respect."

Virginia: Excuse me??

Geo: I KNOW! AND- AND THEN I ASKED WHAT IN THE FUCK HE MEANT! HE SAID SALLY AND JESSICA KNEW TOO MUCH SO IT WAS THEIR TIME TO GO! They are his toy dolls I bought him on his birthday. So I of course was like what did YOU do. And he said, "You're asking a lot of questions daddy. Are you working for the government?!" and started trying to bite my legs.

Virginia: Holy hell...

Geo: So anyway I grab him by the collar and I said, "YEAH YOU BET YOUR LITTLE ASS I DO! I WORK FOR THE TTB! THE TINY TERRORIST BORROW! And you're going to jail. You know what he does? Bites my fucking hand so I drop him cus I'm in pain. And he runs away screaming. "AS FREE AS THE NATION! YOU CAN'T TAKE ME ALIVE!"

Virginia: You're raising a new killer...

Geo: *Shaking* I know...

---

Texas: What are you doing?

Gov: Handing you adoption papers sign here please-

---

Salem: *Answers phone* Hello?

Rochester: I'm in your house

Salem: Ok! *Hangs up and his phone starts ringing again*

Rochester: WHY DID YOU HANG UP?!

Salem: If you're in my house just come talk to me.

Rochester: I'm in your closet. :)

Salem: Oh so you're gay? That's cool bro.

Rochester: Wha- That's not what I meant! I am literally in your closet!

Salem: Wait- What? WHO IS THIS?

Rochester: Come find out :)

Salem: WHERE ARE YOU?

Rochester: ARE YOU STUPID OR SOMETHING-

---

Coco: Frogs don't have buttholes.

Nutty buddy: Why...?

---

Florida: I got you a present! It's a new mug!

Geo: Florida this mug is shaped like someone's ass-

Florida: I know the shit you're into don't act like you don't like it.

---

Miami: I SAVE DICK BY GIVING IT CPR~

Atlanta: I AM IN MISERY~

Missouri: No you're not-

---

Montana: *Doing his job*

N.D & S.D: MONTY~!

Montana: *Confused screaming*

---

Wyoming: D.C is so hot... And smart... And-

Idaho: So why not tell him you like him?

Wyoming: He's already-

Idaho: I swear to fucking god you dumb ass. If you say it's because he's with Louie and Florida when it's an open relationship I will stab you.

Wyoming: Uh... It's because he's with them...?

Idaho: *Takes out his potato peeling knife* Gimmie that skin-

---

Bai bai-