Pennsylvania: Hey New York can I get a sip of your water?
New York: It's not water.
Pennsylvania: Vodka, I like your style!
New York: It's vinegar.
Pennsylvania: Wh-Wha-
New York: It's vinegar, PUSSY.

Texas, setting down a card: Ace of spades
Louisiana, pulling out an Uno card: +4
Florida, pulling out a Pokémon card: Jolteon, I choose you
Gov, trembling: What are we playing?

Louisiana: *Screams*
Florida: *Screams louder to establish dominance*
Gov: Should we do something?
California: No, I want to see who wins

Ohio: *Walking in to a room* Sorry I'm late... I was... doing things.
*Sounds of running footsteps progressively getting louder*
Michigan: *Out of breath* HE PUSHED ME DOWN THE FUCKIN' STAIRS.

California: People are always asking me if I'm a morning person or a night person.
California: And I'm just like, 'Buddy! I'm barely even a PERSON!'

California: So apparently the 'bad vibes' I've been feeling are actually severe psychological distress.

*The squad is over at Gov's house*
Florida: Ohhhh, we each get our own oven?
Gov: ... N-No...
Gov, laughing: How many ovens do you think I have???
Florida, motioning to their kitchen: Three, I thought!
California: I see a-
Gov, motioning to one device: This is a microwave.
Florida: Oh, well I-
Gov: Hey wait wait, actually- hang on- *fiddles with the buttons on the microwave*
Gov, amazed: Its got a bake setting!
Louisiana: Ohoho, you learn something new every day!
Texas: Do we- Do we roshambo for who gets to pick first?
Gov: Now I've just discovered I have more ovens than I thought, we don't have to roshambo nothin!
Gov: I am someone who owns four ovens...
Gov, louder and way too happy: I am someone... who owns FOUR OVENS...
Gov: I didn't know I was so rich with ovens...
New York, pointing to another appliance: Also the toaster oven!
Gov:
Florida: Ohhh, toasty boy! Four- Five ovens!
Gov:
Gov, fucking ECSTATIC: I AM SOMEONE WHO OWNS FIVE OVENS