Indiana: You know that moment when one of your boyfriend's has a huge problem with a friend of yours because of some stuff that happened in the Civil War, so now you have to hang out on the roof with this friend?
Indiana: Cause I do.

Illinois: How many salamanders you got?
Wisconsin: What the-
Illinois, slamming his hands on the table: How many you fucking got!?

Geo: My husband fought in the revolutionary war, and had to go through a bunch of stuff in the civil war.
Geo: But the moment he sees a spider he starts crying.

Indiana: You ever wondered what it would be like if snakes had legs?
Alabama: Go to bed.
Ohio: They don't just have four like lizards, they have hundreds and move like centipedes.
Alabama: Please, I am begging both of you, go to bed!

DC: So, do you have any goals?
Gov: To pet all the dogs!

Kentucky, sick: A little cold never stopped anyone!
Kentucky, 2 seconds later: Geo please help I'm dying!

Alabama: I swear, if I hear another incest joke I will through myself out a fucking window!

Ohio, drinking:
Indiana: You know doing that can kill you right?
Ohio: Nice.