Nebraska: if a woman dies from childbirth can you press charges on the baby?

Ohio: that's actually a good-

Missouri: don't engorge him

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Atlanta and Georgia: *napping and cuddling*

N.Y: MY HEART-

PA: AWWWWW~

Mass and Oklahoma: *dying*

Raleigh: *nose bleeding all over the fucking carpet again-*

Florida: *taking photos*

Gov: WHO CRASHED THE CAR!?!

Georgia and Atlanta: *disappears*

Gov: KNEW IT

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N.Y: *beatboxing*

(Toddler) Albany: I can do that too! Daddy look!

N.Y: alright Lil' apple

Albany: *attempts and ends up getting spit it everywhere* oh noes! Sowwy....

N.Y: *heart melts* it's ok. I'll teach you when you're older ok honey come here-

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Austin: dad im hungry

Texas: hi hungry im dad!

Austin: dad im serious!

Texas: I thought you were hungry *trying not to laugh*

Austin:...

Austin: fuck this im asking Mr. California for something to eat.

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Cali: I'VE HAD BABY SHARK STUCK IN MY HEAD FOR A MONTH IT WON'T LEAVE!!

Georgia: I heard that when a song gets stuck in your head it means your soul mate is singing it.

Cali: who the fuck out be singing that at 3 am?

Texas: *at 3 am drunkenly singing* BABY SHARK-

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Wyoming: everyone be worried about Idaho disappearing but then they don't know I exist.

Wyoming: nice :)

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Gov: FLORIDA NO

Florida: *not doing anything for once* what?

Gov: oh sorry force of habit ARIZONA NO-

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Colorado: THAT'S IT!! ONE MORE PUN AND IM DOING IT!! ENDING IT ALL!!

Nevada: MAKE LIKE A FROG AND LEAP BITCH!!

Everyone: *looking at him disgusted*

Colorado: ALL I DID WAS DRINK YOUR WINE CALM DOWN!!

Nevada: WE CAN'T EVEN DIE THAT EASILY DUMBASS

Colorado: OH FUCK YOUR RIGHT WELL IMA GET DOWN THEN *slips and falls off the roof*

Colorado: FUUUUUUUUCK-

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(This one is kinda sad and is before Mary and Geo became BFF's, takes places on April 28)

Maryland: Hello everybody! Today we're going to be making a birthday cake. (or in this case statehood cake)

Mary: Happy birthday!

Mary: Now let's decorate the cake!

Mary: I mean no one else is gonna do it for you because no one is coming over to celebrate your statehood day with you...

Mary: they wouldn't dare.

Mary: no one would want to be around you and even if they did they wouldn't risk it. What if everybody found out they were handing out with you? They'd be a laughing stock!

Mary: they'd be criticized and brutalized and shunned... You understand how that feels and you wouldn't want anyone to feel as hated, lonely, and isolated as you do!

Mary: that's why you don't even bother inviting people over to celebrate anymore. I mean you don't even really celebrate, you just make yourself a sub-par cake and decorate it yourself....

Mary: Alone in the dark... Alone completely alone...

Mary: to decorate a birthday cake spread some buttercream on it and make it into a design! Who cares...

Mary: Why do I even do this every year. I don't even like cake... I thought eating it would make me happy... But it doesn't, nothing does...

Edit: I like fixing things