Austin: *Finding out that someone spread a bunch of rumors of him sleeping with a ton of people* I DON'T HAVE ANY HOES OAK!!!

Oklahoma City: *Laughing*

Austin: BECAUSE BITCHES WON'T FUCK ME!!! SO HOW THE FUCK DID I GAIN THIS SORT OF REPUTATION HUH?!

Oak: *Shrugs*

Austin: I DON'T HAVE ANY HOES BECAUSE NO ONE WANTS TO FUCK ME, BRO-

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(Atlanta's reaction to Texas suing the swing states)

Atlanta: *walking up to Texas in the middle of a meeting* mind ya fucking business.

N.Y: *starts beatboxing as she goes on*

Atlanta: Mind ya fucking business *dancing*

Atlanta: Mind. Yo. Fucking. Business.

Atlanta: because your options don't change my vote *moonwalks out the room*

Illinois: that was fire-

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Raleigh: *Attempting to flirt* Hey A-Atlanta...

Atlanta: oh hey Ral what ya need? *Cooking*

Raleigh: I-i uhh well... Fuck.

Atlanta: *blushing* you wanna fuck?

Raleigh: WAIT THAT'S NOT WHAT I-

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Phoenix: GUYS MY NAME IS PHOENIX I CAN FLY TRUST ME!!!

Tallahassee: 70 bucks he ends up breaking his legs.

Montgomery: You give me 70 if it's the arms.

Tallahassee: deal.

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Denver: Dad, Are you ok?

Colorado: *clearly high* yes my son let's go to the beach!

Denver: dad... You hate beaches...

Colorado: Ohhhhh yeahhhhhh

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(When he was like a kid) Harrisburg: daddy?

PA: yes honey?

Harrisburg: So... Mr. New York said that if you put a Weiner in a donut a baby is born... Is that true?

PA: *sweating* uhhhh- HOW WHY DON'T WE MAKE A CAKE!! HUH?

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(also when he was a kid lol-)Sacramento: Papa dad. I had a nightmare. *walks into their bedroom*

Texas and Cali: * I think you understand 😏*

Sacramento: what are you guys doing?

Cali: W-were playing twister son!

Texas: *nodding and quickly getting off Cali*

Sacramento: oh ok!

*several years later*

Sacramento: *about to eat some five guys*

Sacramento: they weren't playing twister...

Cheyenne: what?

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Carson City: Ok dad, im going to help you learn to count

Nevada: Uhh what comes after 2?

Carson: 3

Nevada: then after that?!

Carson: 4...

Nevada: THEN AFTER THAT?!?!

Carson: 5 father. It's 5

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Columbia: *on top of a building* IM GONNA JUMP

Austin: NO

Charleston: NO

Boise: NO

Atlanta: *recording* DO A FLIP

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FrankFort *Macking mac&cheese*

Dover: that's what good pussy sounds like-

Frankfort: DOVER SHUT THE FUCK UP!!

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I've run out of ideas-