I'd like to think I deserve the things I want. I mean, I've been through my fair share of hardships, so after months of running around chasing a dream until my feet bled, I'd like to think that dream will come true.

I deserve it.

Of course I deserve it.

Why wouldn't I deserve it?

I deserve it, dammit.

I...

No matter how much I try to convince myself of otherwise, there will always, always, be a part of me that feels like I don't deserve it.

I think I work hard? Wrong. 

I feel like I don't know what real hard work is. I don't know what it feels like to wake up at 5 in the morning and start working.

Work till I can't take it anymore.

Work through the night.

Reach my breaking point.

And still keep working.

Still keep fighting for what I want.

I'm not that hard working at all.

I'm so deluded.

I keep telling myself I do work hard. I do deserve the things I want.

I say and do things to make it seem like I'm working oh so hard.

Everyone thinks I work hard.

They expect me to go far in life.

No one knows I'm a fake.

And a liar.

So I don't deserve their praise.

I don't deserve any more chances.

I don't deserve to accomplish anything.

I don't deserve the things I want.

I don't.

I don't.

I don't.

I don't deserve to be happy.