edit by harryslilbigtoe

"Gracie, darling!" Jay gasps as the door opens, Gracie bursting into the house wearing little dungarees and striped shirt. Jay squats down and wraps her granddaughter up in her arms. "Goodness, love, you're getting so big."

"I swear, she wasn't that tall this mornin'," Louis says, grinning adoringly. He loves seeing his mum with Gracie–the two most important girls in his life. "No more veggies or milk for you, Gracie girl."

"What about chocolate milk?" Gracie asks. Of course that's the first thing that comes to her mind. She really is Louis' daughter. Louis pretends to think about it.

"That's fine, I guess," He sighs, and he can't help but let a smile break through when she grins up at him.

"Where's Harry, Lou?" Jay asks, standing up straight and giving him a hug.

"Um, he had some work stuff to finish up," Louis explains half-heartedly. He knows Jay will see right through him, she always does. "He's coming, though, he'll be here as soon as he can." Jay furrows her eyebrows, but she nods.

"Ernest and Doris are upstairs, lovey," She says to Gracie, smoothing her hand over her hair. Gracie runs towards the stairs, making Louis chuckle. Jay closes the door and puts her hand on Louis' back. "Would you like a cuppa, sweetheart? I reckon you have something on your mind."

Louis just smiles weakly. Jay leads him to the kitchen, sitting him down at the breakfast bar before going to prepare a cuppa for him. "How've you been, sweet boy?" She asks, her tone gentle. She knows something is up. She always does.

"Me and Harry have been fighting a lot," He mentions. Jay frowns sympathetically. "Last night I asked if I wanted a divorce, and he said he wasn't sure. He said he thinks maybe we're broken beyond repair."

"Oh, baby," Jay sighs. "That's always hard."

"I don't want to divorce him," Louis sighs. "I...I don't know. Maybe I'm clinging onto this idea that we can somehow go back to the way we used to be. Things are different, I know that. We're adults. But I miss him."

Jay starts to heat up the kettle, sighing and leaning her lower back against the counter. She crosses her arms. "That's exactly how I felt with Mark," She says softly. Louis can feel his face fall. His mum and Mark, his old step-dad, had ended up in a pretty messy divorce.

"He's at work so much," Louis says. He feels so small talking about this. "I feel like I haven't had a real conversation with him in...in years. He used to be this sensitive, hippy-dippy, loving person who would make me take spiders outside instead of killing them and filled the house with plants we didn't need. Now...I don't know. All he does is work. I don't get it."

Jay approaches Louis and wraps her arms around him, kissing the top of his head. "No matter what happens," She says gently, resting her cheek against the top of his head. "Gracie is what matters most. Your actions affect her a lot more than you'd think."

"I know," Louis' voice is barely even a whisper. Gracie then comes running into the kitchen.

"Daddy," She walks up to Louis just as Jay stops hugging him, tugging at the hem of his shirt. "Is Papa coming soon?"

Louis gives her a weak smile. "I think so, peanut."

"Can I call him?" She asks, frowning a little. Louis doesn't know how to say no to her. He opens up the app and hands over his phone. She knows what to do, and calls Harry, holding it up to her ear.

"Hello?" Louis can hear after just a couple of rings.

"Hi, Papa!" Gracie's grin is a kilometre wide.

"Hi, lovey. What's up? Are you at Nan's?

"Mhm," Gracie leans against Louis' torso, and he puts his hand on the top of her head. "Are you comin' soon?"

"Yup, I'm almost done. Just have a few more things to finish up. Is Daddy there, pumpkin?"

"Yeah, you wan' talk to him?"

"Yes, please. I love you, Gracie. See you soon."

"Love you too, Papa," Gracie says, smiling. She hands the phone to you. "It's Papa."

Louis tries not to laugh. "Yes, I know, thank you, Gracie," He takes the phone and puts it up to his ear while Gracie runs back upstairs. "Hey."

"Hi. Just wanted to say if I don't get there in time for dinner, you can start without me."

"But," Louis furrows his eyebrows, lost. "But you...you just told Gracie you were almost done. Dinner's not for another two hours."

"I know," Harry sighs. "I'm sorry, Louis. They keep dumping shit onto me, I have deadlines, I have to get it done. I really wish I could be there with you guys."

"I bet you do," Louis scoffs bitterly. Jay raises her eyebrows.

"Don't be like that," Harry pleads. "I really am sorry, L. I'll be there as soon as I can. Tell Jay I apologise."

"I-" Louis' shoulders slump. "Okay. I will. She'll understand. I don't know if Gracie will, though."

"I'll make it up to her."

"You'd need a whole month to account for all of the times you've said that," Louis laughs, more than angry at this point. "I can't wait for the day she realises how much of a liar you are."

"Louis, please. Can we talk about this tonight? The longer you keep me on the phone just to tell me off, the longer it takes me to get over there."

Louis pinches the bridge of his nose. "Fine. Just hurry, please. I'll see you later."

"Goodbye."

Harry hangs up. Louis puts his phone down on the counter and looks at his mother. "He has some stuff to get done and he's going to be late. He says he's sorry."

Jay frowns. Louis can't keep himself from looking down at his lap, twirling his wedding band where it's resting on his finger. "I can't keep doing this for much longer," He whispers. "I'm so sick of making up excuses for him."

"I know, love," The kettle boils. Jay turns to make Louis' tea. "I wish I could help you, it's a tricky situation. You can see how well it worked out for me."

Divorce. Goddamnit. "I need to use the washroom," Louis says softly, getting up from the stool he's sitting on and walking out of the kitchen before Jay can protest. He gets into the washroom and shuts the door, looking at himself in the mirror. Louis leans onto the sink. He can't remember when he aged so much. Harry's heads echo in his head. "We're not kids anymore."

He takes a shaky breath, running his fingers through his hair. He can't believe they ended up here. He remembers a time he looked at Harry and knew he wanted to spend the rest of his life with him, knew that no matter what he would stay by Harry's side. Now he doesn't know what he knows.

♛

"Papa!" Gracie's head whips towards the door as soon as she hears it open. Louis looks away from where he's talking to Lottie to see Harry standing there. He looks so tired, so worn, Louis can't believe that's his husband, can't believe the difference between Harry now and Harry when they first met.

Gracie climbs out of her chair, running over to Harry. Harry leans down and lifts her up, smiling into her curls as she holds onto him tight. "Hi, pumpkin," He says softly.

"Harryyy!" Ernest cheers from the table.

"Hey, guys," Harry carries Gracie to the kitchen. She's still clinging onto him, her face buried in his neck. "Sorry I'm late."

"No problem, love," Jay stands up and hugs Harry, kissing his cheek. Harry smiles sheepishly at Louis, who returns it. "I can heat up a plate for you."

"Thank you," Harry's small smile grows with gratefulness. He sits down in the empty chair next to Louis, having Gracie sit in his lap. He looks over to Louis, who just smiles at him wearily. Harry sighs and whispers, "I'm sorry."

"I know," Louis whispers back. "We can talk about it later."

Harry nods solemnly. Louis twists his mouth before slowly resting his hand on Harry's thigh. Harry smiles to himself a little, kissing the top of Gracie's head.

"How's work going, Harry?" Dan asks, Doris sitting in his lap and spooning scoops of peas into her mouth.

"Busy," Harry rubs Gracie's back. "They keep dumping more and more stuff on me for this one case. I can't wait until we're done with it."

"They shouldn't have you working so much, love," Jay tuts, setting a plate of food into the microwave. "Don't they have any other employees there?"

"They know I won't say no," Harry sighs, licking his lips. "If I don't do it, it probably won't get done. Not up to their standards, anyways."

"You should stop workin'," Gracie mumbles into Harry's neck. "And stay home with me n' Daddy everyday."

Lottie sticks her bottom lip out, eyebrows furrowing softly. Louis kind of misses being her age. "I know, baby," Harry frowns. "I would if I could."

"'M sleepy, Papa," Gracie says softly. "We go home?"

"Why don't you go put her down in Doris' bed?" Dan suggests. Doris yawns, and he grins before kissing her head. "Maybe you should go with her, D."

"'M not tired, Daddy," Doris says through another yawn. Dan stands up, holding Doris on his hip.

"Sure you're not, love," He holds his hand out to Gracie, who climbs out of Harry's lap and takes it.

"Bye, Papa," Gracie says as she rubs her eyes. "Bye, Daddy."

"We'll come get you when it's time to go, love," Louis assures, smiling adoringly as she follows Dan upstairs.

"Daisy, must you be on your phone, love?" Jay rolls her eyes and sets Harry's plate in front of him. Harry thanks her, Louis' hand that's still on his thigh a comforting weight.

"Hold on," Daisy sighs, typing furiously, her long nails tapping against the screen.

"Everything alright, Dais?" Louis asks.

Daisy sighs again, setting her phone down before rubbing her eyes. "Okay, so, like," Louis can tell this'll take a while.

♛

"Tell me the story about how I was borned again," Gracie says, sleepy from being out cold during the car ride home. Louis and Harry lay on either side of her, Harry brushing her hair out of her face. Her eyelids are drooping. "I like that story."

"Well, you were very late," Harry says softly, grinning down at her. "Take after your Daddy, I suppose."

"Oi," Louis pouts. Gracie giggles.

"And you decided a good time to arrive would be in the middle of the night," Gracie closes her eyes. "So I woke up, and I woke Daddy up."

"He was shaking me and going 'We have to leave now,'" Louis uses a deep, gruff voice that makes Gracie laugh. "So, I got up-"

"Oh, you jumped up," Harry teases. Louis huffs. "He was running around the bedroom, going 'oh my God, oh my God,' Daddy was freaking out."

"Scaredy cat," Gracie taunts.

"Anyways," Louis says pointedly. "We drove to the hospital, and at that point we still didn't know if you were a boy or a girl, and Papa was trying to convince me to name you Forrest if you were a boy."

"That's a weird name, Papa," Gracie opens her eyes to look up at him, giggling.

"I still like it," Harry pouts.

"And that's why I'm so glad you came out and you were my Gracie girl," Louis picks up Gracie's hand and kisses the back of it, and Gracie closes her eyes again. "You know I was the first one to hold you when you were born?"

"Before you came, Daddy went on and on about how he didn't want to do anything except hold my hand while you were being born," Harry smiles fondly at Louis, who returns the smile almost immediately. "But when it was time, he was so into it. The doctor asked if he wanted to catch you when you came out, and his eyes lit up."

"Okay, it was so cool," Louis' beaming talking about it. Gracie's grinning up at him, eyelids lowered. "All the birthing videos and stuff make it seem so gross, but actually being there, it was amazing."

"Was Papa scared?" Gracie asks softly.

"Papa was scary," Louis chuckles. "He squeezed my hand so hard the nurse had to get ice for it. The only time he wasn't terrifying was when this nurse came in and put a cold towel on his forehead because he was so hot. He looked right up at her and said, 'I love you'."

Gracie laughs, and so does Harry. "I'm the one standing next to him, all thirty-four hours he was in labour," Louis can't help but laugh as well. "And he tells this nurse he's known for two seconds that he loves her."

"Well, you should've gotten me a cold towel," Harry shrugs. Louis rolls his eyes, but he's smiling.

"Are you guys gon' have another baby?" Gracie asks, voice quiet with sleepiness. Harry frowns.

"I don't know, Bug," Louis says softly. "What do you think?"

Harry's eyes are shooting daggers at Louis. He pretends not to notice. "I think it'd be fun," Gracie whispers. "If you don't name it Forrest."

Louis laughs, and even Harry cracks a smile. "Goodnight, kitten," Harry leans down and kisses Gracie's forehead. "See you in the morning."

"G'night, Papa," Louis leans down and kisses her cheek, both him and Harry standing up from the bed. "G'night, Daddy."

"Night, Gracie girl," Louis whispers, turning out the light and following Harry out of the room. Harry's down his throat as soon as they close the door.

"You seriously did not just get her hopes up about us having a baby," Harry sighs. "What the fuck, Louis?"

"What's so wrong with that?" Louis scoffs.

"Because we've been mentioning getting a divorce all week!" Harry pinches the bridge of his nose. "We're not...we can't get her hopes up about anything like that, Louis. It'll just make it worse if we have to tell her we're separating."

"So you don't want another baby?" Louis asks.

"That's not the point!" Harry groans.

"Answer the question," Louis demands, crossing his arms. Harry sighs again.

"No," He says. "No, I don't. Not right now."

"Ever?"

"I don't know, Louis," Harry covers his face with his hands. "I don't know where we'll be when I do want one. If I do want one. Do you really think we're at a place right now to have a baby?"

"No," Louis says softly. "Well, maybe. I don't know. Maybe we need a baby."

"We can't have a baby just because our marriage is failing," Harry scoffs, shaking his head.

"No, I know, I-" Louis groans. "Forget it."

Harry just looks at Louis for a moment. He nods, turning and walking into the washroom before shutting the door. Louis sighs, putting his hand on his forehead.