remember when i said i was gonna focus on school? yeah me neither

"Should we be letting her do this? It smells weird."

"She's getting rid of bad vibes...I think?"

Louis stares at Fizzy as she waves some burning roll of leaves around in the room. He held a lot of those when he was a teenager, but he doesn't think they're the same thing. She told him it was sage, and she had to sage the nursery before they painted it to get rid of the negative energy. Louis doesn't get it. Harry thinks it's cool.

"The smell's gonna make the babies wanna stay in," Louis mutters. Harry nudges him in the ribs with his elbow, and Louis laughs a little.

"Be nice," Harry tsks. Louis kisses his cheek as an apology. Harry takes a sip of his tea. "If you can believe Nickelback is good, Fizzy can believe in whatever she wants."

"Ouch," Louis puts his hand over his heart. "I'm gonna pretend that's just the hormones talking." He dodges the pillow off the bed Harry throws at him.

Fizzy pokes her head into the room. "I'm done," She chirps.

"Why does it smell like that?" Louis wrinkles his nose.

"Louis," Harry sighs.

"If it smells bad, that mean there was negative energy," Fizzy says before smiling. "Not anymore, thoughhh."

"Thank you, Fiz," Harry grins brightly, his whole face glowing. He's really cute, it melts Louis' heart a little.

"Of course," Fizzy says before frowning. "Where's Gracie? She never even said hello."

"I think she's in her room," Harry furrows his eyebrows. Louis tightens his lips. Gracie hasn't been herself lately. She hasn't thrown any other fits lately (which, thank God. Harry's eight months pregnant with twins, and Louis doesn't know if Gracie would survive the hormonal fit of rage that would follow another tantrum) since the major one a few weeks ago.

"I'll go check," Fizzy shrugs. "I have to head out, anyways. 'M meeting my friend at the shopping centre," She looks over to Harry and points at him. "Hold those babies in for a few more weeks."

"Yes, ma'am," Harry salutes her.

"See you, Fiz," Louis nods. Fiz waves and walks down the hall to see Gracie, and Louis plops down on the edge of the bed next to Harry. He looks over at him. "Do you think something's wrong with Gracie?"

"I don't know," Harry admits, frowning a little. "She seems quiet. I think she's a little jealous."

"Of who?" Louis asks. Harry smiles a little.

"The babies," He reminds.

"Oh!" Louis twists his mouth, looking down at his lap. "I don't know. Maybe. She seemed fine with it before."

"Yeah, but now we're putting the nursery together, and coming up with names," Harry points out, reaching up and brushing Louis' fringe out of his face. "I think it's getting a little more real to her."

Louis' quiet for a moment, looking down at his lap. "'S like she doesn't even like me anymore," He says, and he knows it's ridiculous. She's six years old. Harry frowns, moving his hand from Louis' hair to his face. Louis leans into his touch. "'S like I work so much now I never get to see her, 'n when I do she prefers you over me. I probably sound stupid."

"Yeah, I'd have no idea what that feels like," Harry says, sarcastic. Oh. Louis' stomach drops at the thought. Harry's face softens a little. "Hey, L, I was just kidding."

"No, but...but you're right," Louis says quietly. He's in the exact same position Harry was in a year ago. And, the thing is, Harry's much better to him than he ever was to Harry when was the one in his place; stressed out and tired and anxious. He grabs Harry's hand off his face and kisses it. "Holy shit, H, I'm so sorry."

"Lou," Harry says gently. "I didn't want to make you feel bad. 'M sorry. It was just a joke."

"I know," Louis squeezes Harry's hand, swallowing the gush of apologies that rise in his throat. Instead, he kisses his hand again and says. "You're so lovely, Haz. I'm very lucky."

Harry smiles weakly. "Thank you, Lou," He says. He can probably sense the shift in Louis' mood, because he leans over and pecks his lips. "'N thank you for working so hard for us."

"All I do is carry wood around," Louis laughs wearily.

"But you look really sexy doing it," Harry offers, only half-joking, and Louis laughs again, a little more genuine this time. "Nobody can work fluorescent green like you."

"I'm not quite sure that's really a compliment," Louis stands up off the bed, leaning down to kiss Harry's forehead tenderly. "I think I'm gonna go talk to Gracie. Stay in bed."

"But-"

"Harold," Louis warns. Harry pouts up at him with big, doe eyes. "Nope. Doesn't work on me. And I resent you for teaching Gracie to do that too. Dr. Bajaj is probably gonna put you on bed rest soon anyways."

"I don't wanna go on bed rest," Harry whines. "I'm fine."

"Yeah?" Louis raises an eyebrow at him. "Get up by yourself."

"I can get up by myself," Harry huffs.

"Show me."

"...I don't feel like it."

"That's what I thought," Louis smirks, but it's fond. "At least call me in if you need to get up so I can help you?"

"Okayyy," Harry mumbles. Louis grins and leans down to kiss Harry's forehead again before walking out of the bedroom and walking down to Gracie's room. She's sitting on the floor, playing with tiny plastic dolls and a big dollhouse. Louis knocks on the wooden frame of the doorway, and she looks up at him.

"Hey," He greets.

"Hi," Gracie says quietly.

"Can I come in?"

"Mhm."

Louis walks into her bedroom, sitting down on the edge of her bed. Gracie continues to play with her little dolls. "Your room's pretty clean," He observes.

"Papa said I needta' keep it clean," Gracie says. "Because the babies should come home to a clean house."

Louis smiles fondly. "I don't think they'll be here for a few more weeks, peanut," He says, leaning his elbows on his knees. "If they're anything like you, they'll be a little late."

"They needta' finish growin'," Gracie chirps.

"That's right," Louis' grin widens. He's quiet for a moment before saying, "Hey, will you come sit with me for a sec?"

Gracie drops her dolls to the floor, walking over to the bed and climbing up to sit next to Louis. Louis rests his chin in the palm of his hand, looking down at her. "How're you doing?" He asks softly.

"Good," Gracie says, swinging her little legs.

"You don't seem like you're acting like yourself lately," Louis admits, watching as Gracie looks down at her lap. "You know you can tell me how you're feeling, yeah? Even if you think it'll hurt my feelings."

"I-I feel bad sometimes," She says.

"What do you mean?" Louis asks, his tone gentle. Gracie hesitates. "I can't fix it if you don't tell me, love."

Gracie bites her bottom lip sheepishly, like Harry does. "I feel left out," She admits quietly, like she's afraid Louis will get mad at her. Louis furrows his eyebrows. "Y-You're always workin', and Papa's always restin' 'cuz of the babies. 'N Papa says not to botha' you when you come home 'cuz you're tired. But nobody plays with me anymore."

"Oh, baby," Louis sighs softly, scooping Gracie up and holding her in his lap. Gracie buries her face into his chest.

"D-Do you guys love the babies more than me?" Gracie asks, looking up at Louis with her big green eyes. Her bottom lip is trembling, eyes becoming shiny. "'Cuz I can clean my room more. And I-I can be quieter. Y-You always say I'm loud."

"Sweet girl, no," Louis kisses Gracie's forehead, holding her tight. Gracie sniffles, blinking tears out of her eyes. Louis wipes them away. "You don't have to change anything about yourself, okay? You're perfect the way you're are. Papa's been telling me off for being messy and loud for years, and he still loves me," Gracie giggles a little. "Me and Papa love you so, so much just the way you are. We love you and the babies equally, okay?"

"What if you love them more when they come?" Gracie asks, voice shaking.

"Nothing is ever going to make me love you less," Louis assures, squeezing Gracie a little and pressing his nose into her curls. "I have space in my heart for our whole family. You're my special girl. You always will be."

"What if one of the babies is a girl?" Gracie asks. "O-Or both? Then I won't be your special girl."

"You're still going to be my special girl," Louis smiles. "And you'll always be special because you were my first baby." Gracie's still crying a little, no doubt getting snot all over Louis' shirt. He can't bring himself to care right now. He holds her tighter.

"You know I've been alive for twenty-seven years, yeah?" Louis says. Gracie nods. "'N the six and a half years you've been here have been the best part of those twenty-seven years."

"Really?" Gracie sniffles.

"Yup," Louis grins. "The six and a half best years of my whole entire life. 'N Papa feels the same."

Gracie snuggles into Louis more. Louis holds her tight. He kind of feels like crying too. No matter how naughty or sassy Gracie might be, he never wants her to feel left out or like she's second to someone else in Louis' eyes. The tantrums are probably her wanting some attention, even though that kind of behaviour is not okay. She has a lot of big feelings for such a little girl. She has Harry's big, sensitive heart, Louis thinks.

"I'm sorry I haven't been able to play with you as much," Louis says softly. "Sometimes I get so worried about Papa, I forget. I'm gonna get better, though, okay?"

"Okay," Gracie sniffles.

"'N once the babies come, Papa won't have to rest as much," He tells her. He leaves out the part that neither of them will be resting much at all. "You can play with him and the babies all day. But carrying babies is a lot of work. He gets real tired."

"H-He still makes me cookies," Gracie says, leaning back from Louis' chest so she can look up at him. "And reads me stories, even when he's tired. Papa's cool."

"The coolest," Louis agrees. "Besides you, of course." Gracie giggles, and Louis smiles and peppers a few kisses to her cheek, stopping once she starts to squirm through her fit of laughter. "Hey, G, I've gotta paint the nursery today. Do you think you'd wanna be my extra special helper?"

"Yes!" Gracie gasps. Louis grins and presses a kiss to the tip of her nose.

"Okay, find some clothes you wouldn't mind getting paint on," He says, setting her down on the floor. "I'm gonna go check up on Papa. Cool?"

"Mhm," Gracie opens her shirt drawer and starts to dig through it.

Louis leaves her room and goes to the bedroom to find Harry sleeping, one hand resting on his bump and the other tucked under his cheek. Louis smiles to himself, walking over to throw a blanket over him and kiss his cheek.

♛

"How do ya know the babies like green?"

Louis puts his hands on his hips, staring down at the can of sage-green paint. "That's a good point," He admits before shrugging. "I guess we'll find out."

Gracie has her hands on her hips just like Louis, looking down at the bucket of paint as well. "Are the babies gonna sleep in here?" She asks.

"For the first six months or so they're gonna sleep in cots in Papa and I's room," Louis says. "But then they're gonna sleep in here. We're gonna keep all their clothes and nappies in here."

"They need clothes?" Gracie asks.

"You think they were gonna go starkers all the time?" Louis laughs, looking up at the white walls. Gracie giggles. "Babies need lots of clothes. Nana Jay and Auntie Lottie already bought them some, and they're gonna wear some of your old ones, too."

"You have my baby clothes?" Gracie asks.

"Yeah, c'mere," Louis nods out to the hallway, leading her out of the room. There's a box sitting right outside of the nursery, and he reaches in and pulls out a tiny blue baby grow. "Look, you wore this right after we took you home from the hospital."

"That's tiny, Daddy," Gracie marvels at the little piece of fabric in his hands.

"The twins will probably be tinier," Louis grins. Gracie's eyes go wide, and Louis laughs. "Twins are usually really little. You should've seen Ernie and Doris when they were babies."

"How tiny?" Gracie asks. Louis spreads his hands apart.

"This tiny," He says.

"That's really tiny," Gracie says. Louis smiles, fond, and puts the baby grow back in the box.

"Okay, now you're distractin' me, we've gotta go paint," He lifts his foot to tap her bum, and she giggles as he leads her back into the nursery.

It turns out Gracie isn't much of a help. Louis stands there and paints the walls while Gracie sits on the floor and babbles on and on. He doesn't mind it.

"You should name one of the babies Cinderella," Gracie says, sitting with her legs crossed on one of the sheets covering the floor. Louis smiles, painting big, green vertical strokes on the wall.

"I'll sneak it onto the list for you," Louis says. They have a whiteboard on the fridge of names. "Though Papa might be a little suspicious."

"What else is on the list?" Gracie asks. "I-I can only read some of them."

"Umm," Louis sighs, dipping the brush into the can of paint. "Miles is our top name for a boy, I think. Papa really likes that one. I like Ezra, I think Papa's a little iffy on that one."

"I don't like Ezra," Gracie says bluntly. At least she's honest.

"Noted," Louis nods with a chuckle. "Auntie Lottie wrote Luca on the list. That's a pretty good one. Papa's still pushing for Forrest, but that's absolutely not happening."

"What about the ones for girls?" Gracie asks.

"We're strugglin' a little with the girls names," Louis admits. "Papa and I both like Willa. He really likes Evelyn, and Evie for short. I'm not too sure about that one. And that's literally it. If it turns out to be two girls, we're in trouble."

"And Cinderella!" Gracie reminds.

"That's right, and Cinderella," Louis nods, smiling. "Papa and I are really not great at the naming thing. We didn't name you until after you were born."

"But I have a good name," Gracie points out matter-of-factly.

"You have a wonderful name," Louis' grin widens. "I still have the book we found that name in."

Gracie watches as he paints the wall, almost all of it covered in the green paint. "I-I think the babies will like this colour," She says. Louis looks at her over his shoulder and chuckles.

"Yeah? Good," He nods. He continues to paint until he can hear Harry getting up out of bed across the hall. He should've known he wouldn't listen to him. He rolls his eyes and shakes his head a little as he hears Harry shuffle out of the bedroom.

"Are you being a good helper, Gracie?" Harry asks.

"Hey!" Louis points at him. "Back it up, mister."

"But the windows are open, and I wanna see," Harry whines.

"There's still paint fumes, take a step back," Louis orders. Harry scowls, but he steps back anyways.

"I'm bein' a very good helper," Gracie nods. Louis smile, holding in his laughter at the fact that she hasn't helped at all.

"You should be restin', pet," He says to Harry. "I thought you'd still be sleeping.

"Yeah, I was until your kids woke me up," Harry grumbles.

"They kickin', Papa?" Gracie gets up off the floor and rushes over to Harry, lifting both of her hands up. "I-I feel?"

Harry beams, taking Gracie's hands and resting them on his tummy. "Here," Gracie feels the little thumps against her hand and squeals, and Harry giggles. "They must be excited because they hear your voice, G."

"Hiii!" Gracie shouts towards Harry's tummy. "My name's Gracie Mae, 'n I'm your big sista!"

Louis smiles, fond. This might be the sixth time she's told them she's her big sister in the past two weeks. "Tell them they better like this colour, Gracie, 'cuz I'm not repainting."

"Daddy's paintin' your room!" She tells the babies. "It's green. Do you like green? I like green, but I like pink more. Papa painted my nails pink, maybe he'll paint your nails too."Gracie continues to babble on to the babies while Harry looks up at Louis with his big, pretty, dorky smile of his. Louis feels good about everything for the first time in a while.

call me t swift the way i keep writing and writing

i don't mean any harm w the sage thing i just think it's funny whenever i burn sage everyone complains it smells bad

if ur a witch i have so much love for u

anyways hey this fic is gonna be finished soon and i am not ready i am #emotionallyattached