Louis' never been good with grief.

He remembers when he was younger, and his Nan had passed away. He was only eight, and Lottie must've just been born. He was really close with her–while his Mum was working night shifts at the hospital, he would often sleep over at her house, waking up to pancakes or waffles. She was the nicest woman ever. He thinks if she were still around, she'd love Harry, and absolutely adore Gracie.

But, anyways. The day his Mum got the call that she had passed, she cried and cried. Louis never did, not once. He's not really a huge crier anyways, but he felt so numb, even as an eight year old. So, while his Mum laid in bed for days, he kept himself busy. He played with his baby sister and kicked his football around and played on his PlayStation. Anything to distract himself from the pain.

And, right now, with his husband laying in bed, and him doing the laundry, he's seeing parallels. Gracie's at Niall's, and as nice as it was for Niall to take her so Harry and Louis could be alone, Louis wishes Gracie was around to distract him.

He didn't sleep at all the night before. Harry's been sleeping more than usual, but Louis gets it. He just had a miscarriage, his body's going through a lot. But, Louis' feeling pretty lonely.

He finishes folding the laundry just as he hears footsteps coming down the stairs. Looking up, he sees Harry in his work clothes, eyes puffy and red, a solemn look on his face. Louis furrows his eyebrows. "H, love, what're you doin'?"

"Getting ready for work," Harry says, voice hoarse. Louis sighs a little, putting the laundry basket down.

"Babe, I don't know if that's the best idea," He says gently, approaching Harry. Harry swallows thickly. "The doctor said you should rest for a few days, remember?"

"I have to go to work," Harry's voice wavers. Cautiously, Louis puts his hands on both of Harry's arms, forcing him to look in his eyes.

"How about I make you some brekkie, and then we shower and go back to bed?" Louis suggests softly, giving Harry's arms a small squeeze. "I'll even call in for you."

"No, I-I have to go," Harry's voice breaks as he tries to wiggle out of Louis' hold. He forgets how strong Louis is. "Let go of me, I have to go to work, I-I need to."

"Harry, stop," Louis grabs Harry's hand before he can push him away. Harry takes in a deep, shuddering breath, eyes becoming watery as Louis gently pins his arms to his chest. "Harry. Relax."

"I-I," Harry sniffles, face crumpling. "I'm sorry."

Louis softens a little, Harry's shaky breathing making his chest ache. "Okay, it's okay," Gently, he presses Harry's back to the wall, letting go of his arms and wiping his tears. "Breathe, love, you're okay."

"Nothing's okay," Harry weeps, sliding down the wall until he's sitting on the floor, curled up, his knees to his chest. Louis goes down with him, sitting against the wall next to him. Harry's shoulders shake as he cries. "I'm so sorry."

"Hey, hey," Louis wraps Harry up in his arms, letting Harry cry into his chest. "Why're you apologising? You didn't do anything."

Harry doesn't say anything, he just keeps crying. Louis tells himself to stay strong for Harry as he kisses the top of his head, holding him close on the hardwood floor. "It's not your fault, okay?" Louis mumbles into Harry's curls. "None of this is your fault."

"Th-They said it could've been stress," Harry chokes out. "It's my fault for working so much, I was so stressed out and you told me I should be coming home earlier and I didn't listen-"

"Harry," Louis says sternly. "It's not your fault. You can't torture yourself like this."

"I killed your baby," Harry weeps.

"No, you didn't," Louis holds Harry tighter. "I need you to breathe for me, okay? If you work yourself up into a panic attack, you're only going to feel worse."

"I deserve it," Harry sobs, clutching onto Louis' t-shirt. Louis hates seeing him like this.

"Harry," Louis says gently. "Breathe."

Harry finally does, closing his eyes and letting Louis wipe the tears from his cheeks. Louis pulls Harry into his lap, kissing his cheek as Harry wraps his arms around him. "You're a really great dad," Louis says softly. "And this wasn't your fault. Shit like this just happens sometimes, and it sucks, but it's not your fault."

"I love you," Harry says shakily.

"I love you too," Louis can't help it, his voice wavers a little as he says it. "You wanna get changed and eat?"

"Mhm," Harry leans back a little, allowing Louis to lean up and kiss him briefly.

♛

"Daddyyy!" Gracie bolts into the house, squealing as Louis lifts her up and holds her. "Daddy, me and Barbara made cookies for you n' Papa!"

"You did?!" Louis gasps, grinning wide despite how exhausted he is. "That's awesome, baby, I can't wait to try them. Why don't you go put your bag in your room?"

"M'kay," Louis sets Gracie down, and she takes her bag from Niall before lugging it upstairs. Louis looks at Niall, sighing a little. "Uh, hey, thanks for taking her, mate."

"'Course, you know we love her," Niall gives Louis a small smile. "Um, is...is everything alright?"

No. Nothing is alright. Louis sighs again, running his hand over his face. "Do...do you wanna stick around for a beer?" Louis asks. Niall's face softens a little bit.

"You know 'm always down for a drink, Tommo," He laughs a little, following Louis to the kitchen. Louis grabs a can of beer out of the fridge, tossing it to Niall before grabbing one for himself. "Y'know, Gracie's the funniest kid I've ever met. She must get that from H."

"Oi!" Louis laughs, opening his beer. "Hazza's only funny because he's known me for so long."

"Right," Niall rolls his eyes. He's quiet for a moment. "Is Harry okay?"

Louis swallows thickly, avoiding Niall's eyes. "Harry...um. Harry had a miscarriage."

Niall's face falls. He sets his beer on the counter, clearly concerned. "Holy shit. I-I'm so sorry, Lou. Do you need anything? I-I mean, I can drive G to school, I can bring you dinner or summat, shit, is Harry alright? Are...are you okay?"

Louis seriously loves Niall. "Ah, I think we'll be alright," He assures, voice shaking. Niall raises an eyebrow at him. He knows him too well–longer than he's known Harry. Louis sighs, quietly saying "Harry's a mess. He totally broke down this morning. He...apologised to me for killing the baby."

Louis' eyes are watery as he says it, sniffling. "I don't know what to do," He can feel the tears start to slip down. Within the thirteen years he's known Niall, he doesn't think he's ever cried in front of him. "We've been at each other's throats for years, and we were finally getting better, and now-" Louis wipes his eyes. "Holy shit this sucks."

"Lou, mate," Niall says softly, walking around the island and wrapping his arms around Louis. "I'm so sorry."

"I'm losing him, Ni," Louis sniffles. Niall doesn't even have time to answer, because they both hear footsteps coming towards the kitchen. Louis shoes back to see Harry standing there, staring at Louis' teary face. Louis wipes his cheeks quickly, giving Harry the most genuine smile he can muster. "Hi, baby, how was your nap?"

"Good," Harry says softly, wrapping his arms around himself. "Hi, Niall."

"Hey, H," Niall smiles at him weakly. "Um, I was just heading out."

"No, it's okay," Harry assures. "I was just wondering if we had any sheets clean, I need to change 'em. I'm still...um..." Harry looks down.

"Yeah, um, laundry basket's in the lounge," Louis says. "Are you okay?"

"I'm fine," Harry practically whispers. "Thanks for taking Gracie, Niall. Nice to see you."

Harry turns around and walks back into the lounge. Louis looks to Niall, sighing a little. "'M really worried about him," He whispers. Niall just twists his mouth.