Even then, I am doubtful a full Acolyte could die, for the Spell's successful form yields freedom from magic strain. The Acolyte could heal from all wounds, rendering the power a horrid danger in the wrong hands.

❂❂❂

Carmen sat in the city hall of Alwyn, dabbing her face with a rag. After hard, bloody work, they'd seized the city for the Horde.

She didn't care about the tactical advantages; she didn't even have an appetite for their exotic Meyan food. All Carmen wanted to do was relay her responsibilities to someone else. The apathy scared her, but she ignored the fear and filed papers.

Carmen couldn't resist the numbness in her heart as she read the translated letters from the other cities. Elberon, Erelandia, and other major cities had rioted in response; Queen Angella sent the regional guard to quell the fighting. Moreover, her lady – who disappeared without warning – was nowhere to be found.

I don't get it, Carmen thought. Raiya...he was s'posed to only punish us...

Maybe Hordak was a radical cultist. Maybe he'd gotten it wrong. But Shads agreed with Carmen that Hordak basically never lied. He was brutal, but honest. And he had walked, dined, and conversed with Carmen's god.

She wanted to shift her thoughts elsewhere, but her mind had always been either on her lady or Kryteya. Both topics of focus had become draining to her. You can talk to me... Angella's voice whispered in her ear. Carmen refused to fraternize with the enemy, but maybe there was another way to learn...

She swallowed. "I'm goin' to the library," she said softly. "Are you nuts comin' with?"

"Of course, Force Captain," one guard said quickly, and they fell into step behind her. Carmen guessed it would be fine with her lady if she read the Seraphite texts for herself; Shads encouraged learning in the Horde.

Carmen walked up to the librarian. "I wanna see the Seraphites' Kitab Al'Aqdas."

"I don't know what that is," the older woman muttered from behind her desk.

Carmen struggled for the words in Meyan. "The Seraphites'...Book...of Holies."

"Hm. Do you mean the Book of Seran?"

"Yeah, that."

The woman walked over, her green tunic and brown leggings making her look like a forest fairy. She selected a large blue book out of the case, handing it to Carmen. "It's in Standard," she said.

Carmen frowned; she didn't know squat in that tongue. "Any copies in Ramish?"

"Girl, there are fewer Ramish Seraphites than there are stars in the sky."

Carmen gritted her teeth. "But don't they wanna convert more folks to their religion?"

"Yeah, but the Ramish were...very fond of the Kryteyans. We don't take issue with your faith, but Seraphism forbids some of the...ah, activities...that the Ramish enjoyed with their servants."

Carmen sighed. "Figures. Anything in...Kriesges?"

"That language? Hell, no."

"What about Meyan?"

"Sure. I'd just assumed since you're...you, you wouldn't speak it."

"I know a li'l bit," Carmen said in a small voice as the librarian picked out another book. This was probably her best bet, even if Carmen didn't consider herself fluent.

She inhaled. "Thanks," she said in a small voice. "You're right kind to me."

"Don't get used to it. You're still my enemy."

"Ain't no skin off my back." Carmen took the book, hugging it to her chest, and exited the room – her guard trailing her silently.

✧✧✧

Beck walked into the town hall, finding Carmen staring at a book intensely. Why is she reading? Tilting her head, she sat down. "You alright?" she asked gruffly.

Carmen nodded. "Just...doin' some research."

"I see Shads rubbed off on you."

The felinetta frowned. "Beck, if you're gonna quip at me all day, I'm not in the mood."

Beck leaned back. "I'll be quiet if you want. Whatever." She closed her eyes, waiting patiently for her bait to work. She'd worked for months on Tara – once the Force Captain defected, she would be able to retake Alwyn with Micah's forces.

Except Micah was gone. He followed Shadow Weaver into the Seraphite tunnels, and hadn't been seen for two days.

Carmen banged her head on the table. "It's no use. I can't read squat here."

"It's in Meyan?"

"Yeah."

"I'm fluent."

She looked up. "Seriously?"

"Yeah. What'cha reading?"

"The Book of Seran."

"You? A Kryteyan?"

Carmen blushed hard. "It's...homework. From my lady."

"Your lady, an atheist, wants you to read the Book of Seran."

"Yeah. For research."

Beck shuffled close by. "I could read it to you in Ramish, if you want." She wasn't religious, but she couldn't deny how nice the lies of faith sounded. If people wanted to live by the stuffy texts of the old book, who was Beck to judge?

"That'd be good. But...Beck, I got a question."

"What's that?"

Carmen sighed. "Why do you keep talking about tools? You keep sayin' we're all worthless. I just...wanna know what you mean."

Beck tilted her head, sadness springing up in her chest. No one had ever asked her what she meant by that – they just assumed it was an aspect of zany Zeka, who said things that didn't make sense sometimes. "I just want you to be free, Carmen," she said quietly. "Not bound to anyone – least of all Hordak and his master."

"It ain't my lot in life," Carmen said softly. "I was born Felali. That means –"

"That means nothing!" Beck said sharply, surprising herself with the emotion behind her voice. "Carmen, listen to yourself. You're letting yourself be abused, neglected, and blamed because of something you don't even know is true!"

"Yeah, and?" she snapped. "Got any better ideas? I know there's somethin' out there, Beck."

"Better ideas exist than Kryteya," Beck said. "I just..." She lay her face in her hands, tears dripping down her cheeks.

Carmen put a hand on her shoulder. "You awright?"

Beck shook her head. "I don't want you to end up like me," she whispered. "Always chasing someone else's dreams, being approached to fulfill another person's fantasies."

"What'cha mean?"

Beck bit her tongue. She couldn't tell Carmen. She couldn't, damn it, not without revealing that she was a shifter. The words died in her mouth. Nell only saw me as a means to an end. He wanted me to become Alura. He wanted to...to...

"He wanted to have sex with me," she whispered. Finally admitting the truth out loud, something she had buried deep within her mind.

"Huh?" Carmen asked. "Who?"

"A...a friend. Long ago. I was an object to him. I loved him, Carmen. But he just wanted to use me." Beck was sobbing now, head bowed down with sorrow.

She'd expected the socially clueless felinetta to not understand – to ask why Beck was so upset about it if she loved him. But Carmen wrapped her arms around her, pulling her close. "I know what it's like," she murmured. "Kinda, anyway. Sucks to be betrayed by a friend, don't it?"

Of course Carmen got it. Beck gripped her back, crushing her eyes shut. "We're all tools, Carmen," she whispered. "You. Me. Everyone here. We're worth nothing..." she shuddered. "We exist to be the pieces in other peoples' games."

Carmen was quiet for a long time. "Beck...you don't have to be a tool. You ain't bound like me."

Beck sighed. "It's too late for me," she said softly. "I've thrown my lot in, Carmen. But you can still save yourself."

Carmen didn't answer. She just held her, quietly and kindly, in the town hall – built on the bodies of the people they conquered.

❂❂❂

Did you know...

- This plot twist with Nell is one of the most controversial writing choices I've ever made. My betas were evenly split on that idea, but I felt it was necessary in order to really get the reader to understand Nell's shame and guilt.

- A heavy amount of this chapter is inspired by Brandon Sanderson's book The Well of Ascension.

Tell me what you think...

- Do you agree with Zeka? Why or why not?