Art: "Alura In Another Style" by ShadowReader29

Though this essay is for your benefit, I would encourage you to conceal it from others. It would not do for me to be exiled for informing you of this danger, or cause a stir amidst your royal court.

❂❂❂

Shadow Weaver exited the spell with Carmen, landing in the Whispering Woods. She felt the foliage – rich with magic – steam and crumple as the Spell of Obtainment absorbed its life force.

Shadow Weaver kept holding the younger woman; sometimes it was easy to forget that Carmen was two years Micah's senior, for she acted so childlike. "Are you hurt?" she asked her servant.

Carmen shuddered. "Not a bit, my lady. This blood ain't mine. I'm right hungry, though."

"They didn't feed you?"

"I mean, they did, but I don't like fruit. Way too sweet."

Shadow Weaver sighed, smiling. At least Carmen seemed her normal self. But she was shaken about something – Shadow Weaver could feel it. "I'll find you something suitable. However, I expect to hear why you're pale and looking at the ground."

Carmen blushed. "It's nothin', my lady. I won't question your orders."

"Do they trouble you?" Shadow Weaver asked, looking in the pond by night. She caught several blobs of heat moving through the water. Blue trout – a staple of Meyan cuisine.

"Well...yeah," Carmen said. "I met a man tonight – not the boss. He was one'f the ones you told me about last time we were in Erelandia. Sir Nell."

Shadow Weaver's stomach did a backflip. "Nell?" she repeated, forcing her voice to stay relaxed. "You spoke with Nell?"

"Yes, my lady. You know he's got scars all over his arms, yeah? Is he Kryteyan?"

Shadow Weaver snorted; the idea of Nell participating in the frivolous rituals was almost funny. "I had no idea he was scarred," she answered honestly, "but I doubt it. Only those born into Kryteya would follow it."

"You know him?"

Shadow Weaver's fists clenched. "No." She manipulated the magic in the water – though it took a toll on her power – and brought up a blue trout, throwing it on the dead grass. The creature flopped pathetically on land, gasping for air. Shadow Weaver took out a small dagger and plunged it into the fish's belly, bringing it to Carmen.

"What did Nell tell you?" Shadow Weaver asked.

Carmen ripped the meat straight off the fish. Around the bite, she replied, "Well...he didn't think you were a person. I tried to tell him, but he's right convinced you're some sort'f animal."

What an odd thing to worry about. "Why does this trouble you? I don't particularly care what he thinks." Though her voice was calm, a subtle pain laced her chest. If only that statement was true...

Her flippancy seemed to surprise Carmen. "Probs 'cause he don't know you like I do, my lady. He's a doctor – he's s'posed to see everyone as human, or...whatever you are..."

Shadow Weaver had no intent on sharing her ethnicity with Carmen; she had to keep hiding for as long as possible. "Nell is inconsequential," she said softly. "I don't care about what he thinks, and neither should you."

"But he's sad, too," Carmen said. "I can feel it."

"You can never tell when I'm sad."

"In my defense, you're wearin' a mask," Carmen reminded her. "But he almost told me, yeah?"

A peculiar answer. "I order you not to speak with him again," Shadow Weaver said, her voice hard. "He will stab you in the back."

"Yes, my lady." It was a whisper.

"And one more question," Shadow Weaver asked as her servant dropped the fish.

"Yeah?"

"Did Nell have a ring on his finger?" Her servant was eastern, so she wouldn't know the significance of a wedding ring on one's hand.

Carmen tilted her head. "No," she said. "He didn't."

Shadow Weaver's heart suddenly felt warm. But no – Nell had chosen his path, and she had chosen hers. And she would not let her servant betray her.

Finally, she replied. "Very well." Though she had no hope that Nell would love her again, Shadow Weaver was at least pleased that he hadn't left her for someone else. At least then, she could believe that no one was good enough for Nell's affections.

Least of all her.

✧✧✧

Carmen donned her white shirt and black pants to go to the priesthood. Tonight, she needed to clear her head with worship; it was the best thing for her worry at this point.

She rode the skiff to the priesthood. Shads had been asking some right strange questions last night; the older woman seemed troubled by her meeting with Nell. Why would he stab anyone in the back? He'd been so sad, so troubled by something when Carmen spoke to him.

Shads is a person too. Carmen had said that, then killed an innocent man. Of course, Miles, son of Arlon was not completely innocent – he had engaged in low-level corruption and often took risky business gambles. But couldn't everyone be considered 'low-level corrupt' in some way? Shads killed and didn't seem to care. Carmen disobeyed her religion and hid her womanhood from her old master, who'd been intending to breed her.

Miles was undeserving of death, and Carmen couldn't wash the blood from her hands. Would Marh Jibril have some wisdom? Could he soothe her conscience?

Carmen exited the skiff and brushed the sand off her clothes, then entered the priesthood. Marh Jibril stood at the back of the room; he was the only other person in the room. When he saw her, he waved to her with a smile, rearranging the books on the wall.

"My priest," Carmen said softly, "I have somethin' to say 'bout my sins."

"If you've sinned, you should be talkin' to your master," Marh Jibril said, dusting the walls.

"But...she ordered me to sin."

"Did she ask you to violate one'f the permanences?" Marh Jibril ratified Carmen's servitude to an atheist, but that didn't mean he respected Shads for it.

Carmen shook her head; her lady had not asked her to commit suicide, leave the faith, or get married. "She asked me to kill a man, a man who'd done nothin' wrong."

"And this...bothers ya?"

Carmen bit her lip. "Yes," she said. "I dunno why, an' I'm confused. I told Nell she was a person, too...and then I committed a right awful thing in her name. How could a person do this? How could she not care?"

Tears played at the corners of her eyes. Was Carmen so concerned that she was willing to disobey her lady? "I'm sorry," she sniffled as he sat next to her. "I know I gotta. It's just...I love her. And I don't wanna do stuff that'll hurt her."

"Shadah Eevah is a Horde officer," Jibril said. "This'll only make her life better, same as yours. Remember last week?"

Carmen sniffed. "'Good for good. Evil for evil. Circumstance for recompense.'" The words sounded hollow. Was she being tortured by the Almighty for hesitating? For talking with someone her lady hated?

Marh Jibril nodded. "Yes, child. Be good to your master, and Lord Raiya will reward both'f ya."

Carmen nodded, standing to go. "Thanks," she murmured, the reminder that she was in control of a small comfort. But she could not completely dispel the niggling feeling in her chest.

❂❂❂

Did you know...

- While I based Kryteya much more off of fundamentalist Islam than Christianity, it's still meant to criticize a lot of unbiblical behaviors I see sometimes in the Church (though in a much more extreme way). Sometimes Christians have an idea that turning the other cheek and serving others means being a doormat and never being willing to stand up for what's right. This is, of course, in contrast to the self-righteous types who care more about being right than the people around them. Both are unhealthy extremes.

- Shadow Weaver's feelings about marriage and rejection are very personal to me. I have a hard time believing I could be loved enough for someone to want to marry me, especially given the fact that I'm really, really bad at social things.

Tell me what you think...

- How will Shadow Weaver and Nell interact with one another later in the story? What do you think their mindsets will be?