Jensen

SUTTON: In case you forgot, brother, it's Friday. Roxy's, remember?

SUTTON: You doing ok? You've been off lately. You'd tell me, right?

SUTTON: Ok, you're ignoring me, like usual, but come to Roxy's. Stop being a hermit. Teddy is here. Doing shots. You know how that always turns out.

SUTTON: Are you guys in a fight? Like a real fight?

SUTTON: J! It's not nice to ignore your favorite sister. Get your head out of your ass already.

SUTTON: Just come to Roxy's. Please, J. I miss you.

SUTTON: Shit, Teddy is dancing. Hello, tequila! Your girl is spicy tonight.

Ignoring my sister's texts, I pace the length of my dark apartment. I didn't bother turning on lights once the sun set, and now the ambiance complements my mood. Dark.

This morning I woke up holding my girlfriend. It was pure torture sneaking out the way I did instead of rolling her over and waking her up properly, like I would have only a few short weeks ago. My body misses her touches with a fevered desperation, but we don't need to muddy the water with sex right now. It's already murky enough.

Once I reach the end of the apartment, I turn and head back the other direction, all the while giving myself a pep talk. I've been trying to work up the nerve to dial the number for a good 45 minutes now. Every time I try, I chicken out.

Sutton's texts reverberate in my brain. Teddy and tequila are never a good mix. If she's dancing, she's already reached the fun stage of the alcohol's effects. Soon, it'll pivot a hard left into the not-fun stage.

Groaning, I suck it up and hit dial on my stepmom's number. It rings a few times before she picks up.

"Jensen? Hi, sweetie. Is everything ok?"

She's surprised to hear from me. I rarely call, especially late at night like this.

Clearing my throat, I reply, "Yeah, yeah, everything is fine. I'm just wondering if I can ask you for a favor?"

"A favor? Of course. Always. What do you need?"

I can hear the forced calm in her voice. She's probably remembering my behavior the last time we were together when I barged in and spat accusations at my dad. I may not always be the cheeriest guy, but I am usually respectful. That was out of character, even for me.

"Caroline's number. Do you think you could get it for me?"

"Uh, yeah, yeah, of course. I'll call her mom and get it. Do you need it tonight?"

"No, no. It's late. Tomorrow is fine."

"Ok. I'll call her tomorrow morning then."

I resume my pacing, my legs eating up the space of my apartment quickly before I turn and walk back the way I came. "Thanks, Mom. I appreciate it."

"Of course. I'm always here for you, Jensen. You know that."

"Yes, I know." I clear my throat again. "Ok, it's late. I'll let you go. Sorry for interrupting your night."

I hang up after we say our goodbyes, and I halt my pacing, bending over at the waist with my hands resting on my knees. "Shit," I whisper, my heart racing. And that was the easy part.

-

ROXY'S IS ALREADY LOUD AND CHOATIC by the time I get here. Usually, I'm leading my girlfriend out the door before it gets to this energy level. Arriving at this stage of the night is disorienting and off-putting. I already want to leave.

Somebody elbows me as I weave through the sea of people on my way to the makeshift dance floor, and I wince. Drunk people are annoying unless you are also drunk with them. They're also mostly oblivious, which helps my cause as I use my shoulders to carve a path through the groups milling around, blocking my way.

I exhale the breath I hadn't realized I was holding the minute I emerge on the other side of the crowd, stopping on the perimeter of the mob of people dancing. I search for my girlfriend, my eyes scrolling over the sea of heads until I find her in the center.

I smile as I watch her lift her hands in the air, her head titled back, the soft curls in her hair fanning behind her. She alternates between jumping to the loud beats of the music and twirling in circles. All the while a wide grin lights up her whole face.

When the music switches to a slower song, she shifts her dancing, her hips swaying in the most sensual way. I'm drawn to her like the siren she is, and before I realize it, I'm making my way through the dancers to get to her.

Rylie beats me, though, wrapping her arms around Teddy as they slow dance together.

I'm almost to them when I notice Rylie pull a guy into their circle. Teddy laughs, backing away, allowing Rylie to dance with the intruder. But Rylie is insistent, drawing Teddy back in. The guy laughs and that's when recognition hits me.

Fucking Applejax.

Suddenly, the music becomes a dull roar in my brain as I zero in on the scene before me. I see Teddy's mouth moving, her whole body turning to face me, but her words are drowned in the noise. She steps in front of me, her hands on my stomach, her mouth continuing to move, but I move her aside and I bump my chest into Jackson, who stumbles back a few steps before he gets in my face.

"What's your problem?" he demands, shoving me.

"You! You're my problem!"

People notice our altercation, and they give us a wide berth on the dance floor.

Teddy inserts her small body in the space between us, pushing me back, her hands spread on my chest to hold me in place. "Jensen! Stop!"

A quick glance down at her tells me she's pissed, but I'm not done yet. Tucking her under my arm, I point an accusing finger at Jackson. "I'm sick of you always hanging around. Stay away from my girl."

He laughs. He fucking laughs. "I don't want your girl, man. Relax."

"Jensen." Teddy tugs on my arm to get my attention. "Come on. Let's go."

With a last glare at Jackson, I allow my girl to pull me off the dance floor. She doesn't say anything as she leads me through the groups of people.

Finally, we make it outside, and the abrupt absence of noise is startling. It takes me a few seconds to realize that Teddy dropped my hand and continued to walk away without me.

"Teddy!" I yell after her, jogging to catch up. "Wait up."

She rounds on me, her face a mask of anger. "No, I will not wait up, you asshole. If you can't tell, I'm a little busy being pissed at you."

God, she's cute when she's feisty. I resist the urge to smile at her, though, not wanting to risk further upsetting her.

Grabbing her wrist, I pull her under the shadow of a tree, providing some semblance of privacy for the fight I know is coming.

She rips her arm out of my grasp and props both hands on her hips, glaring at me like looks could kill. "Why are you so infuriating? God, you are so infuriating."

"Teddy, you know how I feel about that dickwad."

She throws her hands up. "He wasn't there for me, you stupid idiot! He's there with Rylie! Not every single person with a dick wants me. Not every single person with a dick is trying to get in my pants. Jesus, Jensen, you are so stupid sometimes. Everyone is this stupid ass small town knows I belong to you. And everyone knows what a possessive asshole you are. If anyone ever gets within ten feet of me, I assure you it's only to piss you off. And you make it so easy. You hotheaded, stupid dumbass. Jesus, Jensen."

She inhales a big breath and lets it out slowly. When she notices me trying to hold back a smile, she jabs a finger into my chest. "Don't you dare laugh at me!"

I snatch her hand, bringing it up to my mouth to cover the grin as I kiss her wrist. "Baby," I say, shaking my head. "Tequila makes you mean."

"Newsflash, dickhead," she says, ripping her hand away from me. "You make me mean. Don't go blaming the tequila."

"I'm sorry, Teddy." I drop my hands to her waist, being unable to resist the urge to touch her when she's so close. "I feel like I'm always going to fail when it comes to being protective of you."

"Possessive. I think the word you mean is possessive," she corrects me. "If I was in danger of something—anything at all—then it would be protecting me. But since I wasn't in danger of any kind—unless, of course, you count being ditched by my friend so she could get her sexy on with a man you hate—then the word you mean is possessive."

I laugh. I can't help it. A riled-up Teddy is one of my favorite things. "My apologies. Like I was saying, I feel like I'm always going to fail when it comes to being possessive of you. But I promise to at least try my very hardest not to go all caveman every single time a 'person with a dick' goes near you. Ok? Is that good enough for you?"

"I suppose it'll have to be since you obviously suck at being a reasonable boyfriend in these situations."

I grip her neck lightly, running my thumb over her skin, smiling down at her. "You're so fucking hot when you're all spicy like this."

"Yeah? What you going to do about it?" The temptress wraps her arms around my neck, flattening her body against mine.

I grab her ass as I lower my mouth to her ear. "Nothing. I'm going to do nothing."

Groaning, she shoves me away from her, crossing her arms over her chest. "We're back to that shit, huh?"

"Just for now," I say, wrapping my arm around her waist to tug her back into me. I dust my lips over hers, only meaning for it to be a tease, but she strikes quickly, snatching my lower lip between her teeth. That's all it takes for me to lose control and sink into her for a proper kiss, my tongue darting into her mouth to taste her and my hands hungrily roaming her body.

She's the one that breaks the kiss, smirking up at me victoriously. "You don't have all the power, Jensen. See how easy I just took it." Then she steps away from me.

"So just how much tequila did you have, baby? Should I schedule some bathroom time for you later tonight?"

"I'm not drunk, J." She laughs. "Ok, maybe a little drunk. And there will most probably be some bathroom time in my future."

"Ok, let me take you home then."

We walk hand-in-hand down the sidewalk toward her apartment for about a half a block before I remember I have my truck, but somehow the walk feels like the better option. I'll get to spend more time with her this way.

"I feel like I should clarify something," I tell her, pausing my words until she looks over at me. "You know I would not be ok with you being with someone else while we're on a break, right?"

She throws her head back at laughs. "This isn't an episode of Friends, J. I know it wouldn't be ok. And, besides, I'd never do that. One boy is trouble enough. I don't need any other ones in my life."

When I glare at her, she laughs. "Stop it, you big baby. You know you're the only one I want. Plus, we're not on a break. We're just giving each other space, right?"

I come to a complete stop on the sidewalk. "Fuck space, baby. I'm so over space."

"You and me both. It was your stupid idea."

Running my hands through my hair, I grit my teeth against my exasperation.

"I didn't mean it," I admit. "Not really. I don't think. I never wanted it to be like this anyway. It feels like we're on a break, Teddy. I don't see you. I don't talk to you. I don't get to fucking touch you. I don't know how I'm supposed to fix the other shit when all I think of is how much I miss you."

"What are you saying?" she asks, the amusement from earlier fading from her face.

"Just come back home, baby. Please."

"I don't know, Jensen," she says, gathering her hair over her shoulder, her fingers absently braiding the strands as she thinks.

She abandons the brainless task of braiding her hair, her hands dropping to her sides with a soft thunk. "I hate it, too. But maybe it wasn't the worst idea."

Her voice is soft but firm as she takes my hand in hers.

"You're so bad at confronting shit. You need to confront your shit. I don't want to enable you. And I definitely don't want to go back to how it was. You were there, but you weren't, you know? You were basically going through the motions, ignoring me and not touching me. I missed you but you were right there. I don't want to go back to that, Jensen. I deserve better than that. And I know you're better than that because you've shown me."

She sucks in a breath, tears trickling down her cheeks as she looks up at me, and slowly lets out the breath.

"You're going through some shit right now so you're not at your best. I get that. But you can't push me away when something gets hard. You basically threw me away because you didn't have the capacity to deal with your shit while also being a good boyfriend. But, newsflash, Jensen, you don't have to be a good boyfriend every second of every day. Just let me in. Just let me be in it with you. It makes me feel disposable when you only want me when things are good. You're supposed to want me even when they aren't. I want you all the time, Jensen. I want to help you, but you won't let me."

I step forward to wipe the tears off her cheeks and then press my lips onto hers, holding them there without moving. When I pull away, I leave my hands framing her face, my thumbs softly caressing her damp cheeks.

"You're right. I'm so sorry I made you feel that way. You aren't disposable. If I learned anything this week, it's how indisposable you are. I'm going to learn how to do this better. I want to do this better. You deserve better."

I bring her in for a hug; and we stand like that, our arms wrapped around each other, for a long time.

Finally, I clear my throat and whisper, "I called my mom for Caroline's number. I need to talk to her. It's time."

Teddy pulls away enough to look up at me. "That's good, J."

"You're ok with that?"

"I told you to do it," she reminds me.

"I know, but are you really ok with it? I don't think I'd like it very much if it were you talking to your ex."

She laughs, shaking her head. "I mean, I'm not thrilled about it. Especially since she clearly still has a thing for you."

"What the hell are you talking about, woman?"

She steps away from me, flips the half-braided strands of hair over her shoulder, cocking a hip. In a fake, sugary voice, she says, "Oh, Jensen, you've grown into the handsome man I always knew you would."

She rolls her eyes and fixes her hair. "Besides, who gets all dolled up to walk around Lake Hope on a Saturday morning anyway?"

"Some people are natural beauties, Teddy, and don't need all that extra stuff." I lean down and press my lips softly to hers, swiping my tongue into her mouth just once before pulling away. "That's you, baby. You're gorgeous all the time but my favorite Teddy is when you're lounging at home in comfy clothes with messy hair and no makeup. Well, that and Just Got Fucked Teddy. She's sexy as hell."

"Huh," she says, a smirk curling her lips, "it's been a while since you've seen that Teddy. Maybe we should do something about it."

"You. Are. Naughty," I say, booping her nose with each word. "Now be a good girl and let's get some Tylenol and food and water in you before tucking you in bed with a bucket, yeah?"

She throws her head back with a groan. "Fucking tequila! Why must you hurt so good?"