"I did say this PA needed my seal of approval," Loki reminded Tony as they considered the idea of a new assistant.

A few months had passed but they still hadn't got round to replacing Natasha.

"I do remember that, I'm not stupid," Tony replied.

"I thought Agent Romanoff might be able to help you find a substitute," Loki suggested. "It is her fault we are lacking an assistant, after all."

"We could always go back to not having one," Tony commented. "You weren't pleased that I hired one without you."

"Well, Natasha went on to save both of our lives," Loki pointed out. "Who would've thought?"

"Certainly not me," Tony grinned.

"I had my doubts," Loki shrugged. "But Natasha knew that. I'm sure she would be happy to find us a trustworthy substitute given that S.H.I.E.L.D was trying to protect you in the first place. They have the resources to dig up all the dirt on people."

Except a certain God of Lies and Mischief, which Loki was very happy to report.

"Alright then, I'll call in at S.H.I.E.L.D and ask for recommendations," Tony agreed. "And then you can give me your verdict after a trial day."

"Sounds good," Loki said, as Tony was preparing to leave.

"What are you up to today?"

"I thought I would try and find the body of Steve Rogers," Loki stated, wary to see Tony's reaction.

Tony, for his part, only blinked and exhaled. Loki knew all about Tony's issue with the late soldier and had subsequently been rather reluctant to reveal his chosen task for the day.

"Why?" He said, at long last.

"For the purposes of science," Loki answered. "Romanoff said there was someone at S.H.I.E.L.D who was interested in finding his body and I'm already hoping to dissuade Banner from pursuing human testing."

"Well as long as it's only for scientific purposes and not to stir up long-forgotten memories," Tony muttered, sounding infinitely disapproving.

"Why would I do that?" Loki asked, exasperated. "As if I'm likely to spend time and energy hunting down a corpse in order to prank you."

"Anyway," said Tony, shaking off Loki's comment, "I'm going to head to S.H.I.E.L.D now. Romanoff better be helpful."

"She will be," Loki promised.

With a thoughtful look, Tony left.

*

A few hours later, Loki got a phone call from an unidentified number. Against his better judgement, he answered it.

"Yes?"

"Dr Walker, is that you?"

"Dr Banner?"

"I'm so sorry, I need your help."

"Where are you?" Loki asked immediately.

"Dayton, Ohio."

"I'm in the area," Loki lied. "Don't move."

Wiping Jarvis' memory of the last sentence and temporarily blinding the security cameras, Loki teleported to Ohio.

*

Where Loki went to look for Bruce, he found a shivering, cowering wreck.

"What on earth happened?" He asked, bending down to Bruce's level and glancing round at the destruction in the lab.

"General Ross told me to trial the serum," the doctor whispered. "There was no room for refusal but I didn't want anybody else to try it. Walker, it failed. The serum doesn't work."

"What did it do then?" Loki asked, curious.

"It_ it," Bruce faltered. "It turned me into a monster."

Loki made to speak but the scientist interrupted him.

"I saw it," he continued in a horrified voice, as though plagued by the image.

Loki now noticed the shattered mirror on the wall.

"A huge green monster, a beast made of muscle."

"What forced the transformation?" Loki questioned, thinking quickly.

He made to examine the serum but Bruce's hand shot out and grabbed him before he could touch it.

"I injected the serum; don't touch it. But it_ it wasn't the serum that did it. It was anger. Anger made me... Transform."

Loki accepted this fact without question.

"Well, you can't stay here. Ross can go to hell. You're coming to stay with Tony and I."

"I can't just leave," Bruce exclaimed.

Loki raised an eyebrow at him.

"Ross forced you into injecting a dangerous serum, an untested serum. He's dead and we're leaving."

"What can we do to him?" Bruce asked as Loki pulled him to his feet.

"Blackmail is often a good tactic," Loki commented casually.

"Blackmail!" Bruce exclaimed, hurriedly following Loki as he stalked back through the building to the main entrance.

"Whatever makes the man learn his lesson," Loki remarked.

He quickly conjured a car in his mind for he had of course not driven to Ohio. They would have to get a flight back.

"Wow, that's a beautiful car," Bruce stated on seeing the sleek Audi that waited for them.

Loki quickly commissioned a private jet to come pick them up at Dayton International Airport and take them back to Los Angeles International Airport. When they arrived in Los Angeles, Loki conjured up another Audi which he drove back to Malibu Point.

"Sweet ride," Tony commented, parking his own car in the garage as they arrived. "When did you buy it?"

"Last week," Loki lied automatically. "But it only arrived today."

"It doesn't look like you picked up Captain Rogers," Tony accused, looking at Bruce who was hiding slightly behind Loki.

Bruce tensed up at Rogers' name but Tony thankfully didn't notice.

"This is Dr Banner," Loki said smoothly. "I've mentioned him a few times."

"Yes, of course!" Tony exclaimed. "You're the expert on gamma radiation!"

Going against his better nature, Tony didn't mention what he knew of Bruce's experiments, for of course Loki had mentioned Bruce's research into the Supersoldier Serum.

"Nice to meet you," Bruce said shyly, reluctant to shake the billionaire's hand.

"Bruce is in a tight spot," Loki explained. "And we're going to help him out of it."

Tony raised his eyebrows.

"And from that," said Tony, "I deduct that no supersoldiers were discovered today."

"No," confirmed Loki. "Far from it."

*****

A.N. I've tried to make this a fic which is both light-hearted and dark at times and I think I've successfully managed that... Possibly. xD

Thank you for reading!