"He awoke each morning with the desire to do right, to be a good and meaningful person, to be, as simple as it sounded and as impossible as it actually was, happy. And during the course of each day his heart would descend from his chest into his stomach. By early afternoon he was overcome by the feeling that nothing was right, or nothing was right for him, and by the desire to be alone. By evening he was fulfilled: alone in the magnitude of his grief, alone in his aimless guilt, alone even in his loneliness." ~ Jonathan Safran Foer, everything is Illuminated.

~*~

Blake Halter walked out of the washroom, his hair messily scattered on his forehead and his blue eyes still bearing the pain only a few people could see. He looked at the window, as the sunlight peeped through the dark red curtains. He walked towards it, and inhaled the fresh morning air.

It was a cold January morning, and he could hear the sweet chirping of the birds on the bare, brown trees, trees which represented his life. He looked straight towards her room wishing to see her again. He exhaled and reminded himself;

No, she isn't there anymore.

He then exhaled deeply and picked up the fresh white and red flowers from the vanity table as he proceeded downstairs.

"Good morning , Blake," his mother, Mrs.Halter said.

"Good morning," he replied coldly, as if devoid of feelings or colours and sat down on his chair.

They would hardly talk these days. Just a few exchange of necessary words, or perhaps a few tears. But that was all. Lucy's death had been traumatic for both the families. The Halters and the Goodwins. It left the two houses in a deadly silence, made them suffer in their own little world, broken their hearts to its core. The boat had now broken up, it's pieces were alone floating in this violent sea with a small little flag to set it's sail.

It had been two months now, and Blake hadn't smiled even once, expect the few moments he'd spent in loneliness, thinking about Lucy. He was now just a broken, decayed leaf of a tree, swaying with the winds, lost, torn, despondent.

His world shrunk to just himself, all alone, like a diamond which had lost it's shine. He rarely spoke, and one would just see him sitting alone with his books, or lost in his own world where his blue eyes were often filled with tears. Such was the grief of losing a loved one.

He would wear white every week, since it was her favorite, just to feel her around, just to tell her that even if she's gone, he'll make her happy and love her forever.

Blake finished his breakfast and walked out of the house in silence. Mrs.Halter watched her son with pain burning inside her heart, her mind screaming words to him, but her mouth acting like a barrier, a cage for them to come out. She had not only lost her daughter, but had lost her son too and this grief was eating her alive. A tear dropped from her eye as she closed the door.

Blake sat down in his car and reminded himself yet again, "No , she isn't here to say it, let's go."

He drove the car and parked it near the cemetery.

Blake walked over the wet soil of the cemetery, the fresh smell of rain and soil filling his nostrils. Rain reminded him of Lucy, of the day when he picked her up and swung her in the air, feeling her body against his, her soft hair brushing over his face. He looked at her name engraved on the tombstone. And yet again his heart broke into a million pieces.He wanted her badly.

His eyes were nailed to her name as he placed the flowers on her grave.

"I love you, Lucy. And I always will," he whispered. He did this everyday, as if to remind her he loved her, even if she left, even if she was gone forever. He stayed there for some time, thinking about her, praying for her. Then he got up, eyed her grave for one last time, and walked out of the cemetery.

~*~

Blake walked silently through the corridors of his university. He went and sat down on his chair, looking at the people around him.

"I'm sorry for your loss," they had said, the day they knew of Lucy's death. They didn't even know him, didn't even know Lucy, and yet they pretended. Blake just nodded to them those few days, unable to speak,as each one of them passed by him, shattering words of sympathy and making him go through it all, yet again. He didn't need their sympathy, didn't need that look on their face, didn't need them to be sorry. All he needed was some time, and it would heal everything. He didn't like facing people.

Chlara, his only friend in the class now, came and sat beside him. She smiled at him, looking into his eye. He was glad that at least there was one person who didn't offer him a look of sympathy, instead offered him a smile.

Chlara understood him. She had seen Blake with Lucy, seen him look at her with that look in his eyes every girl would like to be looked at like. Seen him laugh, seen him smile, and seen him cry too. She was a quiet girl, with her hair always tied in a pony and her dark brown eyes would see through people and give a friendly assurance. She was pretty, and was a very good friend. Blake liked her silent company in class, which gave his some warmth in his otherwise cold life.

Chlara was about to confront him, but just then, the lecturer entered.

~*~

During break Blake and Chlara walked towards the cafetaria. Eros and Kristine were waiting for them. They would come every day now, for him, so that he knew he wasn't alone in this. They were afraid to lose him, afraid to lose another gem of their treasure. They were now enveloped in a cloud of fear,of sadness. That's how it had become. Blake was glad they came by everyday. Chlara had joined them too.

"I'd love to be with you all," she had said , on the first day. She couldn't take Lucy's place, no, of course not. But they had agreed to a new friendship, and so, she joined them.

Blake and Chlara sat down on the chairs, quietly.

"How was your class?," Kristine asked.

"Good, I guess," Blake replied, looking at his plate. "How about yours?"

Their conversation hadn't been any interesting either. Just a few friendly questions, some tears maybe. There was no joy, no laughter. Kristine could no more tease, Lucy would no more blush. Blake would no more smile, and Eros would no more laugh along with Kristine. And how could they? Lucy wasn't there anymore.

They remained quiet for the rest of the break. It had seemed awkward before, but now, they got used to it. Time perhaps doesn't heal, but it helps in letting us get used to it. It might not be the ointment or the cure, but at least it helps us get used to the pain.

The bell gradually rang, and they snapped back from their trance. Eros and Kristine embraced Blake, reminding him to take care, and that they would see him tomorrow. He nodded, thanking them, and then returned to class with Chlara for words meant nothing to him now.

~*~

After the classes were over Blake drove home. He parked his car in the garage , and sat down on a bench on the street.The one he used to sit on with Lucy. The neighbors watched him sadly. They had seen him with Lucy, laughing, loving, smiling, enjoying.

But now, it wasn't that. He was like a bare brown tree, without life, without any leaves or flowers. A night sky without stars or a moon, just darkness. He got up slowly and dragged himself to Lucy's place.

Mrs.Goodwin, Lucy's mother, smiled at him.He could feel the loneliness inside her too, everything seemed to have lost it's spark. He nodded at her understandingly and went upstairs to her room. There he sat down silently on the bed and inhaled the sweet smell of the room. Everything was the same there, the seemingly countless books on the shelf, the wardrobe, her study, her bed, the marble flooring, everything. But there was one thing that changed , of course. Lucy was no more there. He imagined her laughing, dancing, filling every single one's life with happiness and comfort.

God always takes away the best people. He just wants them to himself. Because, after all, it's the prettiest flower in a flower garden which is always picked.

Blake closed his eyes. Tears flowed down his cheeks. How things had changed.

~*~

That night, Blake dreamt of Lucy again.

"Blake?," she said softly.

"Yeah?"

"I miss you," she whispered. She was in his arms, her head lying on his chest . The night sky was above them, illuminated with the bright stars.

"Come back," he said. She slowly released herself from his arms and smiled sadly. "I guess you have to live without me"

"I can't, Lucy. Please come back"

"But , you have to"

She kissed his cheeks softly. He pulled her into a hug again, not wanting to stay without her. He couldn't manage.

"And Blake?"

"Yeah?"

"I love you ".

Blake got up, perspiring. Why was he getting such dreams? Was she somewhere around? He didn't understand. And right now, he wanted her. And so, Blake closed his eyes again and floated back to his sea of dreams where Lucy accompanied him on his ship.

~*~ ~*~

For those who have read it before- This story is being edited and some major changes will be made. Thank you for reading it.