"You're up?"

He whipped around to find Hermione halfway through the door, watching him with sad eyes.

"I guess I am." He sounded tried and emotionless in his own ears. He turned away from the window, closing it and sitting back on his bed. Hermione closed the door behind herself and sat beside him on the mattress.

Somehow she seemed to understand that something had changed within Harry and that he needed time to process it. So Hermione sat patiently beside him, after a few moments reaching over and gripping his hand tightly in her own, squeezing it familiarly.

The aching feeling didn't start immediately, first Harry was numb. It was like the things said and the memories this evening had conjured up were still distant feelings like he was seeing the whole thing replay over and over again behind the safety of a glass screen.

It was all fine until that glass shattered, and the words started to hit him full on and he realised he was no longer just watching, he was on the other side of those words.

As soon as he'd unlocked the hotel room door, he could tell something was wrong. The air felt static and the smell of alcohol was pungent. Harry slid into the suite, barely able to close the door behind him as he took in the scene.

The bed was a little messed up, crumbled in the middle as if someone had laid down and gotten up again. A few gift bags sat on the ottoman, a few generic Christmas gift ones and two that looked expensive.

Harry's eye's flickered up to the sofa, on the coffee table a couple of bottles of wine now empty. Over the blonde head, the view from the penthouse room was stunning over London, all lit up in the darkness for the holidays. It was their anniversary, Draco had planned a day for them to escape the wizarding world and have a day just for themselves...

"You're late." His tone was bitter, but Harry could hear the hurt behind it. Sighing deeply, he shuffled closer to his boyfriend.

"I'm so sorry, I just couldn't get away-" but Draco darted up, standing on the other side of the sofa, glaring at him.

"I waited for you," He seethed, "I was up here all alone for hours, just waiting."

"Draco-" Harry reached out a hand, trying to do something to calm the Slytherin down.

But Draco stepped back away from him, wheeling around the furniture to face Harry.

"I didn't even know if you were going to show up." Up close Harry could see the rosiness in his cheeks from the wine and the red rim around his eyes. His heart sank, he'd caused Draco enough grief to make him cry.

"Hey," Harry tried again, stepping forward in an attempt to at least touch the boy, but his slim body moved back from his hands, pointing his fingers feebly at him.

"I just wanted to see you-" The venom in his voice began to dissolve, replaced by hurt and sadness "All I wanted is for you to take me away from that- that house..." He retracted his hand, curling it into a fist and clenching his eyes shut to try and stop from crying again.

"Come here, Draco." Harry breathed, opening his arms and stepping toward his boyfriend and for a moment it looked like Draco was going to give in. But his eyes opened and he regarded Harry with a wounded expression, muttering

"You run around saving everyone else, you protect the people you love from whatever you can." He paused, breathing deeply "Is it too much to ask you to save me, too?"

More tears started running down his cheeks and his body started to make small heaving movements as he suppressed sobs.

"Please," Harry tried, taking a small step and watching Draco's face closely

"I want to love you, and I guess I already do-" His voice dropped to barely a whisper "But you make it so hard."

Harry dropped his hands to his sides, watching as Draco tore himself apart, just fuel the fire.

"What can I do?" He whispered, having to look away.

Draco remained quiet for a long moment as if trying to figure out where this left them.

His eyes never rejoined Harry's, his gaze was fixed to a point outside the window but Harry could see the reflection of his face in the glass.

"Just go." He snaked his arms around himself, eyes fixed on the view outside of this room.

Harry hesitated, he was not keen on leaving Draco alone in this state and not wanting to be the person that left, even when he was told to.

"Please just leave." Draco's voice sounded thicker, heavy with unshed tears.

Another glance at the boy's back, Harry retreated from the hotel room.

He spent the night sitting outside with his ear pressed against the door, when he heard Draco's soft snores he crept back inside.

Removing his shoes and jacket, he shuffled into bed, wrapping his arms around his boyfriend's middle and holding him close to his chest.

"I don't know how to rescue you, Draco." He was trying hard not to tear up as well, because it was the truth. He could fight Dragons and battle the Dark Lord but he was hopeless when it came to saving the person that really needed it.

"It's okay. I don't think you can defeat this monster." His voice was low and resigned, less upfront anger and unhappiness now. "I think I need to save myself this time."

"I'm so sorry." Harry breathed against his forehead, kissing him lightly there. "I don't want you to be lonely anymore."

"Me neither," Draco exhaled, curling closer to Harry.

So as he gripped Hermione's hand, looking out of the window that Draco had left through, he thought about how Draco was always on his own. On his own against his Father when he was at home. Alone against Voldemort, and all the things he made Draco do.

To Harry, Draco was his first real love, no matter where he went or what happened, he would return to the boy. But until now, Harry didn't realise that he was Draco's hope. The promise of a better future, of a life without the Death Eaters and an existence that didn't include his family or Malfoy Manor.

"What have I done, Hermione?" He breathed, not turning to look at her but deciding to watch the window instead.

"It might not feel like it now," She paused, her head tilting a little to see his eyes "But you did what you had to."

"I love him," Harry whispered, finally looking across to his best friend who wrapped her arms around his shoulders and just held him close.

It felt as if he'd really cut part of himself off. The wound was open and bleeding and all he could do was watch it hurting him. Harry was sure that they would never see each other again, at least the bandaid was ripped off and hanging on, tugging at his heart every time he met Draco's eye across the room. But the bigger part of him burned, set alight with the knowledge that it was over. Everything they'd become together, each piece of him that connected seamlessly with Draco as if the Slytherin was an extension of himself, they all burned with him. The habits and the jokes he'd picked up that no one else would recognise or understand shattered, leaving sharp shards in Harry.

However, as all of it began to decay and as it destroyed itself, Harry knew he could never be the same person he'd been before Draco. But maybe with some time and some practice, maybe then he would be all right.

He pulled away from Hermione, eye's drawn to the new light coming from beside him. An orange glow was starting to fill the room, so as the sun rose on a new day, Harry told himself that this was his chance.

This was him starting again.

Le Fin