So, let's see what drama awaits us, shall we?

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Chilled's P.O.V:

I woke up on the couch with a start. I had a really depressing dream and it almost ended with suicide, but then Ze came and I didn't do it because he loves me, but I can still hear what it said in the dream.

Looking back I still have so many questions

So many things unanswered

Like what did I do?

What could I do?

Was there ever a moment you cared?

I still feel so much hate inside of me, seems like you were just waiting for me to fail...I'm sorry i can't forgive you, do you blame me? You never forgave me. I've tried to grow from this, but everyday is a new challenge, because with you there is just no winning...like it or not, i'm still a part of you. And you're still a part of me.

So this is how it ends? All the tears? All the blood? It's all been for nothing. As the candle dwindles and flickers out, the end.

Just thinking about it sent shivers down my spine. It was actually really depressing if you think about it, it sounded like it was the only way. God, what happened that made my mind so fucked up? Was I really that depressed? Or is it just the stress getting to me? I really hope that it's just stress, I can't leave Ze, what would he do? What would I do? Then I noticed that Ze was on the floor, unconscious, no...He must have passed out! I rushed over to him and shook him, trying to get him to wake up. "Ze! Wake up, babe! Please! Ze, wake up!" I screamed at him, he seemed to be breathing but I wanted to make sure that he's ok. After shaking him a couple more times he woke up. I pulled him into a hug. "I'm so glad that you're ok, babe!" I said as I kissed his head. He pushed me away. "Get the fuck away from me!" He screamed at me. I winced at his tone of voice. He was serious. "B-but Ze...It's me...Chilled." I said, tears beginning to form in my eyes. "I FUCKING KNOW THAT! NOW GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME!" He screeched. I backed away from him, full of fear of my once loving boyfriend. "What's wrong babe?" I asked, quietly. "Don't you fucking dare call me that! And why do you care? You don't love me..." He said, turning away from me. "B-but I do lo-" I started but was soon cut off by Ze. "BULLSHIT YOU LOVE ME. YOU'RE JUST USING ME. YOU DON'T CARE. YOU DESERVE ALL THE PAIN YOU FEEL, IF IT'S EVEN REAL!" He screamed at me while he got up and walked to the bedroom, coming out a minute later with his bags. He's leaving.... "WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DON'T CARE?! I HAVE BEEN LYING TO SO MANY PEOPLE ABOUT OUR RELATIONSHIP! I'VE DONE SO MUCH FOR YOU AND YOU HAVEN'T HAD TO DO SHIT FOR THE PAST THREE YEARS!" I started crying. "S-so yeah, y-you're right, Ze. I-I don't care. Y-you can just g-go. I know you d-don't want to be with me, no one does..." I said as tears streamed down my face. He flashed me a look of sympathy, well I think he did, but I couldn't confirm it because it left as quick as it was there. "Don't you dare cry about it! I know what you're trying to do, you're trying to trick me into feeling sorry for you, well, I'm not. So go cry over something that you actually care about, I'm done with you." And with that he walked out the door and slammed it shut. He just walked out of my life. Forever. I was no longer crying. I was now sobbing. I did care. Why couldn't he see that!? What happened to him? I thought he loved me..

Shut up, no one loves you. No one ever will. Why do you think you're having those dreams? It's because your mind is trying to tell you something, maybe you should listen.

Maybe I should listen to myself. I fell in love with a perfect boy. A too perfect boy. A boy I don't deserve. I walked to the bathroom and grabbed the blade I used to cut my arm in the first place.

No turning back.

I dragged it across my other arm, the one that wasn't cut. I spelled out 'I'd Rather Drown'. (A/N: Shamelessly plugs the title of one of my favorite songs...) I then took a picture of it and did a little Photoshop so that the first picture was on top of the new picture. I tweeted it out. The caption read: I never finished my statement. Together my arms spelled 'Fuck Love, I'd Rather Drown'. I smiled at my work. I knew I deserved it. I walked to the kitchen to look for the first aid kit because for some reason that's where we kept it. I cleaned up the blood from my arm and walked into my office, ignoring my phone's constant ringing. I made up my mind. I was better off dead. No one needed me. No one wanted me. I saw that Smarty called me, Ze must've picked up the phone...I don't care what they talked about, it won't matter in a couple of minutes anyway. I grabbed a paper and a pen. I went over to my desk and sat down, beginning to write down what I wanted to say but no one would listen. Some people are worth more dead, I won't be. My note read:

Dear whoever is reading this,

If you are reading this then you must've found me, congratulations. All I want to say is that I'm sorry that this happened. But don't worry, I'm fine, wherever I am. Jess, I'm sorry. I'm sorry internet, I failed you. I failed my friends. And most importantly, I failed Ze, my best friend.

None of you could have stopped this though. If something's meant to be, it will be. And if it doesn't happen, then it never was. The world is better off without me. Smarty, I know that we had our differences but you were one of my best friends and I couldn't have asked for a better one. Glam, you too. I will never forget you, you are unforgettable, you too Tom. And Ze, oh Ze. I'm so sorry for what I did to you. You were my best friend in the whole world. I could act however I wanted in front of you. You understood me more than anyone. And that's why you are the most valuable asset to my life. I'm sorry about the fight we had and I'm sorry that it had to end like this. But Ze, remember one thing for me, please. I'll take the show to my grave, literally.

Goodbye everyone. I hope that you enjoy the world, because I couldn't enjoy my last few days. I hope I never wake up. Please don't be sad guys, it's better this way. I'm so easy to replace, like Smarty, haha. Well, I guess that's all I have to say. Except for one thing:

Fuck Love, I'd Rather Drown

Love,    

          Chilled

I looked at what I wrote. Perfect, exactly what I wanted to say. I can't live without Ze and if he doesn't want me then no one will. So, I guess this is it. This is the end. I looked at the bottle of pills in my hand. How many should I take? How much would it take to kill me? Six? No, too predictable. Eight? No, too even of a number. Ten? No, too high. Seven? Yeah, seven sounds perfect. I put the note and extra pills on the table as I sat on the floor. I swallowed all of the seven pills at once, dry. I should feel it any minute now. I thought about my life as I waited. It was pretty good. I had an ok childhood. I had a lot of friends. I used to have a perfect boyfriend, but apparently I did something wrong, but I don't know what it is. Oh well, it's too late now, he wouldn't want me anyway. I'm too distant, gone, stuck in my head. I'm too messed. Funny how long it takes things to brake. Three years to break my relationship. Three days for myself to brake, to go over the edge. I all of a sudden felt really tired. I closed my eyes as I slumped to the floor.

This is it.

         Goodbye world.

                     Goodbye Ze, I love you. 

                                            Never forget the show.

                                                                        Then the door opened.

                                                                                                                      "CHILLED!"

                                                                                                                                                     Ze.

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I'm sorry about all the depressing stuff! I can't help it! I have to follow what my mind tells me to do. Oh and about the image thing, not the video. Tell me what your favorite song is or the last one you listened to was. I want to get to know you! Alright, anyway. BAII