Reviewer- @cwang1

Pros: 

 I liked how you put (f.weasley) at the end of your title, telling readers that your story is about Fred Weasley. 

 I really liked how you had a lot of dialogue, as that really adds to the plot and allows the reader to connect to the characters. 

 I really liked your description. Though you didn't have very much of it (a point I'll touch on later), when you did describe things, I could definitely picture it in my mind. 

 I really liked how fleshed out your plot was. It was extremely engaging, and the way you developed it right from the start made me want to read on. 

Cons: 

 I thought that your blurb was a little too short. Though you had a bunch of disclaimers and stuff like that, the actual blurb was shorter than everything else, so I would suggest developing your blurb more.  

I did notice that you sometimes didn't capitalize a letter at the beginning of a sentence or use unnecessary punctuation, so I would suggest going back and fixing that. As a reader, that can be kind of distracting, so fixing small issues like that should definitely be a priority.

I didn't really like your sentence structure and wording, as it seemed too repetitive and choppy. I would suggest removing unnecessary, repetitive words to avoid reduplication and to combine and break up sentences to improve your sentence flow. 

I would suggest having more description. You are absolutely amazing at describing things, but I think that your writing could benefit if you used description more. This way, you allow the reader to really picture the scene in their mind. Another thing is that you should probably try to describe characters more, as you seem to describe things or scenes more than characters. 

I thought that the endings of your chapters were a little weird. They didn't really fit in with the story, and the flow from chapter-to-chapter was a bit choppy. I would suggest perhaps using cliffhangers more often, as that would definitely keep the reader reading.