Dedicated to my most 'kawaii' friend,
Walnvika - for believing I'm worth more than I think
{ flowerycheeseball }

Additional Mathematics is going to be the death of me.

I sat in a white plastic chair behind a blue table. I recognised the chair as the chair Preeti used in Form 3. I remember Celeste grinning as she drew smiley faces all over Preeti's chair with a black marker she nicked from Tania's pencil case.

I turned around to see Celeste whose usual grin was missing. It was replaced by a serious look. Her eyebrows were knitted together and her forehead was all scrunched up. Her dark head was bent over her exam paper. Just like everyone else's.

I sighed as I turned back to mine. All the words and numbers made my head spin. I felt like I was on the topsy-turvy ride you always see in amusement parks. The one that made you puke your guts out once you get off it.

I slammed my head on my table. I heard a few shushes. When I looked up, I saw a few of them give me dirty looks. I would have sighed again but I didn't want any more dirty looks.

I felt my eyes brim with tears. My palms were so sweaty I had to put down my pen and wipe my hands on my skirt. I am useless. I can't even answer the first question on the paper. How am I supposed to do the others?

No. I'm just letting myself get stressed. I had to calm down. Take deep breaths, Akansha. You've got this.

I held back the pen and pressed it to the paper. If I had fair skin, my hand would have been as white as the paper. Since I had cocoa coloured skin with a yellowish tint to it, my skin was just a sickly shade of brownish-yellow right now. The colour of rotten mangoes, just before they turn black.

Another voice flooded into my head, overpowering the pessimistic voice of my own.

I will hear your excited voice telling me how you've got 9As in the most life-defining exam you have ever sat for.

The voice calmed me down immediately. The fog in my mind cleared up and suddenly the question made sense to me. I knew how to do it.

Grabbing the pencil, I scribbled the working down as neatly as I could. I had to bite my bottom lip to avoid myself from screaming in excitement. After I had gotten the answer, I sent a mental prayer to God, thanking him. As well as the owner of the voice that saved me from drowning.

Oh Stefan. Just thinking about him made me feel...different. His green eyes popped up in my mind and I shivered despite the fact that it was 32 degree Celsius outside.

As much as I would love to daydream about his eyes or try to figure out the exact shade of green his eyes are, I had an exam paper waiting to be answered.

I didn't have the confidence he had in me. I didn't know if achieving 9As was possible for me.

He may not be right about it but I want to believe him.

I will tell him how I got 9As in the most life-defining exam I have ever sat for.