Shout at the Devil had been out about a year now, and for me that meant lots of partying and black out nights- which I was told tales of later on. I wasn't exactly proud of myself, but I was having fun with the boys, so I didn't really care.

The boys had played US Festival, headed on a monster tour with Kiss. Something was changing with the boys, but knowing that they were going to do what they wanted, I didn't bother asking... until one show in particular.

"What the fuck is going on?!" I yelled at the guy sitting in the sound booth. "They sound terrible!"

"That's not my fault," he said with a shrug.

I looked at him, narrowing my eyes.

"First of all, bring the guitar up, second, what the fuck is wrong with his bass?"

He shrugged again, widening his eyes like a cartoon before turning to adjust the soundboard.

He wasn't a bad looking guy; he had almond colored skin and even darker eyes, but when they reflected the stage pyro they glowed like amber. Still, I wasn't sure about his level of intelligence... there didn't seem to be much behind those eyes.

Shaking my head, I picked my way through the crowd and back to the stage. Once I showed the guard my pass, he pulled me up over the rail and I headed to my spot on Nikki's side.

I watched them to figure out what was going on... Mick and Tommy were on fire tonight, but Vince was sick and losing his voice, and something was definitely wrong with Nikki.

Mick caught my eye and shook his head after angrily jerking his head towards Nikki, who swayed on his feet- but not in a rhythmic way, more like he was out of it. Mick's blue eyes looked like ice from across the stage, and I could tell he was pissed. After they finished playing Ten Seconds to Love, Mick made the issue known.

"Sorry we don't sound good tonight. Our bass player decided to load up on heroin."

I felt my mouth fall open. What?

He wasn't near the microphone, but I had no doubt that everyone in the first few rows could head Nikki yell "fuck you, Mars!"

To avoid any further confrontation or a possible fight, Tommy counted off and they began playing Starry Eyes.

Nikki looked over at me with a mixture of regret and fear. He knew I was gonna chew him out for this one.

As he kept watching me, he somehow played a little better, but once I shook my head at him, I head him hit a sour note.

Too angry to watch the end of their set, I headed to their dressing room and kicked out the groupies that had accumulated.

"Hey, bitch, we got here first!" one of them yelled as I fought to shove them through the door.

"Yeah! And I've got work in a couple hours so I need to be in there first!" yelled another.

"Actually I got here first. Not my problem. Just line up in the hall and wait. And don't touch them when they come in!" I shouted before slamming the door in their painted faces.

I knew that security would most likely haul most of them off, so I dropped onto the big green armchair next to Nikki's bags.

I can't believe he's doing heroin... What was he thinking?!

I looked at Nikki's stuff and a thought crossed my mind; if he was doing heroin, it would be packed in his stuff, and it was my job to get rid of it.

I pulled everything out of his bags, shaking out all of his clothes until I saw a little packet fall out of one of his shirts. Opening it, I found exactly what I was looking for. A light brownish white powder in a tiny paper envelope. Disgusted, I dumped it in the toilet before flushing it all down. I dug through the rest of his stuff, making sure I found everything. I only found dirty foil, but no needles- which was slightly comforting. I repacked his clothes in hopes that he wouldn't notice.

I heard them end their set, and the crowd chanted for an encore before the boys ripped into Too Fast For Love.

I really hoped that he had only done this once, but knowing him, it probably wasn't the first time.

I stared at the wall, watching the "No Smoking" sign rattle from Tommy's drums. I knew that once the song was over they'd all come storming in, not filled with their normal excitement.... and I was right.

They all came stomping in, sweating and angry. Mick and Nikki bickered as Tommy and Vince  rolled their eyes, mumbling about the girls outside.

"Will both of you shut up?!" I yelled, finally snapping when they sat on either side of me and proceeded to yell over me. "Mick is right, so end the conversation!"

I stood up and left the room, heading outside to catch a taxi to the hotel. I didn't want to be there when they let the girls in.

°°°°°°

As soon as I got to the hotel, I went through Nikki's suitcase, and mine to make sure he wasn't trying to confuse me. Finding one more packed, I flushed it down before stripping and getting in the shower.

I felt tired and my breath felt like it had been knocked out of my body. I could have sworn my solar plexus felt bruised, but I wasn't sure why. Finding scratches on my arms, I realized it must have been from the groupies that I kicked out of the dressing room.

After washing my hair, I got our and dried off, looking at myself in the mirror. My hair had gotten pretty long in the last few years. It was almost down to my ribs now, in fact.

About an hour or so later, I heard the door close, and a cart squeak and groan under Nikki's stuff.

"Sadie?"

"I have nothing to say to you."

"Sadie, please, just talk to me."

"There's noting to talk about."

"You went through my bag."

"I know what I did," I replied easily, facing away from him.

"Why?"

"You know why. That shit kills people and you played like shit because you were so out of it."

"Alright, so I fucked up. What's the big deal?"

"I'm not having this conversation."

"Sadie w- will you at least look at me?!" he shouted, grabbing my arm and whirling me around to face him.

"Why? So I can see how fucked up your eyes look?"

"Sadie, I don't get why you're so-"

"I'm upset because that stuff is dangerous! You've worked so hard to be where you are now, and I'm not going to let you throw it all away!"

"I am not your responsibility, Sadie."

"I know... but you don't seem to be able to take care of yourself, so someone has to... Nikki, you have a gift. Every day I see you play, and you get better and better. You guys are taking off and I have such high hopes for you guys, but heroin? That will kill you. I don't care who you are."

He stared at me thoughtfully, his jade eyes slightly narrowed in amusement.

"Why are you so good to me?" he asked.

I shook my head with a weak smile on m lips.

"Because I care about you."

He reached out to hug me, but I put my hands up, blocking him.

"Just tell me one thing... have you done this before?"

"Only twice. I swear."

"Please, please don't make it a habit. I would say don't do it again bu-"

"But I know you'll do what you want," he said, mimicking me. "I'm gonna be okay. Don't you worry, Sexy Sadie. All will be well."

With a wink, he leaned in to kiss me, but I once again stopped him.

"Groupies?" I asked with a raised eyebrow.

"No. That was all T-Bone and Vince tonight."

"Gotcha."

"Will you forgive me?" he asked in a childish voice, sticking out his red lips in a pout.

"After a shower," I sang.

"Fair enough," he sniffed himself with a grimace. "Care to join me?"

"I already showered, but thanks for the offer."

"Fine... I'll deal with you after," he purred, sliding his hand down between my legs.

"Don't tease."

"Is it teasing if you like it?"

He pressed his hand harder against me and chuckled when I sighed.

"Take a shower, babe."

"Fiiine."

He kissed my cheek before heading to the bathroom, removing and throwing his clothes to the floor as he walked.

"Cute butt."

"Thanks! I grew it myself."