no 2 people are the same and not 1 person will ever make me feel the same. no 1 can recreate a single bond, we each bring 1 unique thing to the table, each 1 spreads the tablecloth in their own way, each 1 chooses their own china. my mom always brings out the good china when we're having a holiday dinner, like she and my dad weren't at each other's throat a second ago with rusty spoons and chipped plates, my mom brings out the good china and we set it up like a globe in the middle of the table, like china stands for jesus' rise and fall, new jesus new me, the pastor says i should never be the same person after the rising, after easter i will rip the walls off my room and finally detach from my corporeal form and reincarnate as a cloud. but maybe im giving plates too much importance.

i drop out of high school so i can be heartbroken full time, so i don't have to submit any more bloody homework assignments, so i don't have to tape down my sharp rulers everytime, so i don't relapse from white-out and sharpie fumes no more. dropping out is self-care, writing you odes everyday before i go bed is self-care, the boy in sheep's clothing now wears leather, now wears ripped t-shirts, now wears black jeans and forever greasy hair.

i set up the table and say grace but the deli kicks me out before the amen. religious freedom until you practice it, i'm free to love you until i'm heard, baby, right?